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RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 6:47:30 AM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

Did you order the flowers online or over the phone?  If so, there is NO guarantee that what you ordered is what was sent.  I've heard a lot of horror stories about people spending large amounts on flower arrangements that turned out, when delivered, to consist of three dead mums in a vase.  Or something along those lines. 

If what was delivered was fine when it arrived, and three hours later had started to die, then I think it was perfectly reasonable of her to insist on a replacement.  And even if it wasn't, I don't see the problem, unless you tailored the arrangement specifically for her.  She didn't expect YOU to fix it, she just told the florist it wasn't right, and the florist corrected things. 

She was properly grateful, she handled the discrepancy personally, and she let you know about it, so she was honest.  These seem like good qualities to me. 




Exactly what Llyren said.

M Irish

(in reply to Llyren)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 7:38:36 AM   
drawntothedark


Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline 		Well sugar, I looked at the pics of the flowers, and I didn't see anything wrong with them. Of course I'm not all that picky. I get all woozy if someone else puts gas in my car. It doesn't take much to make my heart beat ;)

(in reply to Britania1)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 7:52:39 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would have loved the flowers, but they are not all that attractive of an arrangement. Tulips do well in a more narrow vase that is not so chunky at the bottom. They tend to look weird when one cuts them down too low, and sticks them in a squat vase. They lay wrong. I used to be in catering, and part of that was to set up flower arrangements sometimes, so I do have a little knowledge (I am definitely not a florist, but even with my little knowledge I can see how wrong that arrangement is). Tulips are one of my favorite flowers too. They were probably a good deal because tulips are in season right now

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to drawntothedark)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 8:00:43 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with Julia, it's not the best arrangement I've seen and not the vase I would have chosen either, but nothing which would have made me take pictures of it, thank the giver for it, and then go through the trouble of having them re-done.

On the other hand, we have a dom who says he's got a cherished sub he's considering living with, and then says he's always been available and not involved seriously. 

On the whole, a good example of cyber drama and just how NOT open/communicative/respectful/etc people in Ds are.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 8:09:42 AM   
gothicdiva


Posts: 111
Joined: 2/16/2005
Status: offline 		Granted, this has all gotten rather "off topic" and not addressing the OP's original questions. However, after reading all of this, I think that the FLOWERS are the least of their problems. Apparently, there are some major communication and trust issues going on here. I agree this should be a private matter and not "played out" here on the message boards for all to see...rather immature, don't you think?

I think the arrangement was "tacky" as well...but, that's not the OP's fault. He bought something online and sent it to a foreign country. Maybe the recipient was trying to make sure he "got his money," however, she should have just been appreciative of his thoughtful gesture and left it at that.

I suggest looking for a real time relationship a little closer to home as well!

Be well,
M. Diva

< Message edited by gothicdiva -- 5/8/2007 8:10:09 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 9:02:02 AM   
sugarbaby59


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		For everyone  who has looked at my profile , these flowers are the replacements , i did'nt get to take one of the flowers in Question   which came in a 3 inch tall square vase which the flowers kept faling out of , im sure in the catalog  they were beautiful and if the flowers would have been cut properly to accommodate the vase i would have had no problem with it, all i ask the florist to do was make the arrangement so the flowers would stay in the vase, they changed the vase  i didnt ask them to .  but these flowers in the pic are much better than the ones i got in the first place , i got the same flowers back, and He had a fit cause i just tried to do the right thing by His money he spent..........  so if thats wrong   then by God im wrong   but i didnt need Him to ask a bunch of people who know nothing about me ,  if i reacted in a wrong way ,  i was doing what i thought was right ..........now this is all i have to post i wont say another word  .........I'm DONE ..

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 9:14:31 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I say screw the flowers hun, you have much larger issues than those!

He is calling you a cherished submissive, saying he is considering you for a collar, yet looking for others to play with. He is doing this covertly. I say screw the flowers. You know, life is too short to try to make square pegs fit in round holes. If he just finds fault with whatever you do, perhaps you guys just aren't a match. Believe it or not, someone that is more accepting of you and that you are better suited for is out there, why put up with someone who is constantly putting you down? I am not saying he is right or wrong, I am saying why try fitting a square peg into a round hole?

I know there are doms out there that I would drive bat shit, but they aren't my dom, so they do not matter... see how that works? Personally speaking, if someone put me down all the time I would not put up with it. In my opinion, this is only one of many opinions, I would be very turned off by a dominant that made a big freakin deal everytime I did something that he was not pleased with, instead of telling me quietly and firmly what he wants in a direct manner. There is a lot of drama here on both sides for a fact!

There are men out there that do not get upset and excited over little tiny shit that means nothing, and you replacing the flowers is NOTHING. It is a little tiny bullshit thing to get bent out of shape about enough to run to total strangers to see how they would feel about it. Normally I would not respond like this, BUT this is the submissive forum, so I am stating what I think. How about telling YOU how that made him FEEL when you did that, and telling YOU that he would prefer you to call HIM in the future if you are not satisfied with a purchase he has made. Or telling you that he does not think it is appropriate for a submissive to critique a gift from her dom. I find this to be much ado over nothing.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sugarbaby59)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 10:47:18 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

I say screw the flowers hun, you have much larger issues than those!


Amen

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 12:06:01 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

quote:

I say screw the flowers hun, you have much larger issues than those!


Amen


What is it they say? It is never about the flowers

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 12:49:33 PM   
lovewithoutfear


Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		""if  you have a cherished sub in consideration why are you here on Collar Me ""

Now wait a second here -- lots of people use this site for socializing.  Merely having a profile here does not mean anything.  Furthermore, even if someone finds their One and Only here, it's reasonable in my book to assume they might still have a profile (even if just for awhile)  and solicit feedback the way this gent did.  Besides, I don't recall anything being said up to the point of this post about monogamy being part of their arrangement  -- especially as they don't live together yet.

Edited to make clear that the top part was a quote.

< Message edited by lovewithoutfear -- 5/8/2007 1:10:46 PM >

(in reply to Britania1)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 1:05:49 PM   
lovewithoutfear


Posts: 153
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		"i think you would have gotten a better view from other men , all the submissives did was cut me down and they dont even
know me"

Actually sugar, if I recall correctly, I saw several subs stand up for you and your motives and actions and at least one Dom say he'd kick you to the curb. 

Myself, I saw things pretty much your way till you came online and posted this kind of BS. 

(in reply to sugarbaby59)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 1:18:23 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovewithoutfear

""if  you have a cherished sub in consideration why are you here on Collar Me ""

Now wait a second here -- lots of people use this site for socializing.  Merely having a profile here does not mean anything.  Furthermore, even if someone finds their One and Only here, it's reasonable in my book to assume they might still have a profile (even if just for awhile)  and solicit feedback the way this gent did.  Besides, I don't recall anything being said up to the point of this post about monogamy being part of their arrangement  -- especially as they don't live together yet.

Edited to make clear that the top part was a quote.


Hmmmm... it seemed to me that she feels she was lied to because the presense of the profile, and it does seem he is seeking others from reading it, actually I would outright say he was.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to lovewithoutfear)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 5:51:30 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I don't blame sugarbaby59 for posting what she did. She was put on the public hotseat by her dominant over something as assinine as a bouquet of flowers. Then to her surprise she finds he has a profile posted seeking another. Her dominant started this publicly so why shouldn't she have her say here?

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to lovewithoutfear)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/8/2007 6:50:47 PM   
anaughtygirl


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline 		Her dominant came on asking what other subs would have done under the circumstances.  He never once mentioned who the sub was.  Many people come on the posts asking for other people's opinion.  So what did he do wrong???  She's the one that came on here, bitching and whining about every little thing, then tells everyone all the details of how she feels she's being treated so badly along with all of their personal business.  If she wanted to straighten out the problem, she should have talked to him, not aired their dirty laudry to everyone here.  Maybe she should grow up before trying to become part of the lifestyle.  And maybe she should learn to show her dom a little more respect. 

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/10/2007 4:14:12 PM   
Britania1


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

It is not something i would have done.  if i don't like the arragment i rearrange it myself.  It is a flag that she thanked you for them then had them re-done.  it is like the ones you sent were not good enough for her.  I would think its the thought that counts but she does not think that way.

Matt's littleone
  do you know her?
do you know that is a fact.
That is a pretty bold statement 
unless you know this person
and you know how she thinks  

_____________________________

One day at a time.. This is enough.
Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone;
And do not be troubled about the future,
For it has not yet come. Live in the present,
And make it so beautiful
It will be worth remembering

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/11/2007 6:28:14 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I wouldn't have known who the op was referring to were it not for the fact that she identifed herself.
It seemed a legitimate question to me.
(I bet he's sorry he asked it though!)
This whole thing has gotten out of hand, don't you think?

(in reply to Britania1)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/12/2007 6:34:36 AM   
naivetee


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/18/2007
Status: offline 		In  this situation, I would trust my instinct. :(  : P

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/12/2007 1:54:57 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

The reason I wanted to blow a fuse was because it seemed ungrateful to me and now I'm damn sure it was!
Didn't someone say " It's the thought that counts".
All I wanted to hear was ty for the flowers.

Thankyou E/everyone. .this has been very insightful.



[/quote]

Hello ErusDespicienta. When you give flowers you give flowers. I do not think there is a tradition of men giving vases to women as gifts, so dont get yourself riled up with 'vase symbolics'. Women do not understand a man's giving of vases.

The flowers are for the office, a woman's office! Now what do you think it's for, what does it mean. Think 'trophy' man, pride. Short greens mean less, change vase means need's fanning out, make bigger or more noticable or accentuate for a place of honor (worship!!). Women wont change a vase to bunch up flowers and greens and have a tighter arrangement for a smaller out of the way barely noticible discreet area (besides a smaller vase is usually cheaper and that is out of the question). Ungrateful? really? maybe, maybe not.

The point is you dont know, you are hurting and looking for answers.  And no, you are not 'damn sure', though you may think you are (or think you should be?) which is different.

When women do 'strange' things (from my point of view) I may jump to conclusions, I may ask around but I will never act upon these 'alien barbaric rituals'! . Sometimes the best thing is to let it go and watch more closely the next time. It may never repeat itself or this could be a 'heads up' for future analysis and evaluation.

A final thing, I think if this negated you in some way, she would not 'wait' for you to give her flowers. She would buy them herself and have exactly what she wants. What she wants is YOUR flowers, fuck the vase. Next time, send only one flower chosen in person, no greenery and for no 'reason' other than appreciation and see what happens. You will have no doubts after that.

Just another point of view. RL.

PS: English is not my language, is there such a thing as a 'loaded gift',....anyone?

(in reply to ErusDespicienta)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 5/13/2007 5:21:29 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		"PS: English is not my language, is there such a thing as a 'loaded gift',....anyone? "

absolutely.  when one gives a gift looking for something in return, i would consider that a "loaded gift".  more like a pre-payment in some cases, as when a man gives a woman something especially expensive, and looks for a sexual return on his "payment".  of course, i'm speaking mainly of the vanilla world.

kitten, who has sweetly declined those sorts of gifts before because she doesnt see herself as something to be bought.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Sending flowers to a cherished submissive - 7/22/2007 3:40:16 PM   
ErusDespicienta


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		5/7/2007 12:05:45 PM 
quote:

ORIGINAL: sugarbaby59

well its real nice  when the submissive in question here has to find out on her own that her Dom that wants her to come live in a different country ,  has to put an ad on a dating site , and complain to people that dont even know her about the flowers  he bought her
well if any one is interested  i am that sub and the flowers he sent are on my profile pic  on my profile page , since that time he has declined to talk to me about  any of our problems  so have fun on collar me  Sir  and i hope you find  your greener pastures ............................the dumped subbbbbbbb
5/7/2007 12:05:45 PM 
 





dazzzlinnn
Female Submissive, 48, Leesburg , Florida
5/22/2007 5:05:47 PM: well i have been talking to lhrider001 for over a month now and , things are looking up, i feel we get along very well , and we have loads in common , he has a wonderful heart and knows how to accept a person for whom they are, i am hoping one day  very soon to meet him and to have this relationship grow into something wonderful
thank you Ryder Sir for being who You ,
Your lilone .

Well sugarbaby_59  aka  dazzzlinnn , 5/22/2007 minus the "over a month" means that you were on collarme prior to 4/22/2007  a long time before I was. How very interesting. I'm sure lhrider001 knows all about the flowers. hahahaha.
 
 


_____________________________

You can't always get what you want but if try, sometimes, you might get what you need.~~ Rolling Stones

(in reply to sugarbaby59)
Profile   Post #: 120
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