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why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 5:02:21 PM

shygurlInd47374

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Joined: 2/25/2007
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Greetings
shy is alittle ashamed to ask this but she really needs to know and would love some in put on it .
why is it when a Master has a a damn good slave in front of His face He judges her on her looks in stead of her true slaves heart and her submission ?
shy isnt beauitful and she isnt the "barbie doll " type she is a bbw but is a well trained and well behaved slave thats knows her place and knows it well
she just gets sick and tired of being judged so damn much

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 5:06:02 PM

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Because many times there isnt much of a difference between a Master and the average vanilla man.

We live in a society that places a large focus on a certain ideal of physical beauty.

This socialization on physical appearance doesnt necessarily dissolve because someone proclaims his title of Master.

Nor is it really a matter of "judging". The qualities that make you an unique and beautiful person arent the qualities they desire in thier partner.

You just simply havent found the right match for you.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 5/6/2007 5:11:05 PM >

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(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 5:29:33 PM

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Because the "master" is actually controlled by forces beyond his control. Is that the type of partner you seek? It is not YOU who are being judged. It is the other who is reacting to that which they have no control over. They are the victim, not you. Have some compassion for their ignorance, and don't take it personally.

Tthere are plenty of people out there who have a preference for your body type, in addition to your personality type. Don't give up!

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 5:43:22 PM

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Because he's a man plan and simple. Many, not all, but many don't look beyond the surface. Men are visual creatures at heart. So for them to look beyond the cover of the book to see the whole story isn't gonna happen for the most part. There are those that will however. They will look beyond any outside flaw you think you have and see what's inside. It just takes time to find them. But they are out there. I know, I found one.

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 6:14:26 PM

robertolapiedra

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Hello shy. You are beautiful, that is my final judgment. (Well trained, well behaved dam good slave? My heart goes BOOM BOOM BOOM!) RL.

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 7:38:01 PM

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Awe Shy I feel for you. And Honestly if it was a perfect world either we'd all be thin or it wouldnt matter.
Sad thing is this world isnt perfect. Masters are men first. Men are people and people have likes and dislikes for alot of reasons. Weight is a big one (no pun intended) We are all bombarded daily with what we ~should~ be. Ad's in print or film sell thin, youth, strength and a good time. Somehow few rarely measure up. Many of us are fighting this battle to be thinner, fitter, sigh... and if there was a real fountian of youth I'd beat you to it.

Bottom line is you are what you are. Do the best with what you've been given, try to improve but do it for you. If your not whatever enough for someone they wont ever be enough for you either.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 7:54:44 PM

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Why do you allow someone you obviously don't have compatible values with to affect how you feel?

You are the one letting their judgement hurt you. It's understandable to feel bad about rejection, but you need to stop internalizing and realize that they are simply doing the same thing that you are- deciding who will be good for you based on your personal criteria.

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RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 8:02:00 PM

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Greetings all,

Great answer, LA. I dont need to hear anyone tell me I am beautiful - I know it pure and simple. That doesn't mean there aren't those out there who simply won't find me attractive - it doesn't mean that it makes me less attractive - I'm just not for them.

If you seek a Master, seek one who does find you attractive, that should be a pretty basic concept in this lifestyle - find those with whom you are compatible, intellectually, kink - aligned, attracted to each other, certain philosophical commonalities...make your list of what you are looking for and then look for those traits and characteristics.

well wishes,

fairer than she

_____________________________

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RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 8:13:19 PM

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Shy,

For the same reasons you have rejected other men who saw you as desirable but you didn't feel the same way about them.

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 8:41:15 PM

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Wow aldom...that's some double-talk there. Interesting sceneario but I don't buy it personally. Anyhow...

shygurl, you sholdny look at it as judging. That implies, even if to no one but yourself, that you are inferior in some way. That's not the case, and obviously you are special and it will just take the right dom to discover that.

There was another thread very recently that talked along these lines quite a bit. I think more of what's in play here is a matter of preference. Some prefer physically big men, some petite little things, some black or Asian or whatever. That's not saying any other than those are inferior just that we have preferences. I PREFEr red heads and blondes, but have had relations with brunettes as well.

Good luck in your journey!
SD

(in reply to aldompdx)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 10:02:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shygurlInd47374

Greetings
shy is alittle ashamed to ask this but she really needs to know and would love some in put on it .
why is it when a Master has a a damn good slave in front of His face He judges her on her looks in stead of her true slaves heart and her submission ?
shy isnt beauitful and she isnt the "barbie doll " type she is a bbw but is a well trained and well behaved slave thats knows her place and knows it well
she just gets sick and tired of being judged so damn much

As my Sir stoked my chest, between my breast and looked deep into my eyes... the honesty of his heart was loud and clear... I will help you with your weight (for once again I need an accountability partner) but you are mine from the inside, not the outside.
I am sorry it is an issue for you... and him. He needs a swift kick in the balls !

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 10:08:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shygurlInd47374

Greetings
shy is alittle ashamed to ask this but she really needs to know and would love some in put on it .
why is it when a Master has a a damn good slave in front of His face He judges her on her looks in stead of her true slaves heart and her submission ?
shy isnt beauitful and she isnt the "barbie doll " type she is a bbw but is a well trained and well behaved slave thats knows her place and knows it well
she just gets sick and tired of being judged so damn much

Because being dominant doesn't make anyone any more special, caring, kind, insightful, intelligent then vanilla men. Doms are what they are. Some of them are shallow jackasses. Somes of them like big women. Some of them are kind and caring. Some of them like small women. All the different types - just like vanilla folk.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 10:18:14 PM

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As others have stated, these Masters are not "judging" you...they're just relying on their preferences.

In this online medium, you might find that many preferences are based on physical stats. It seems that your preferences are for Dominant men...so, turn it around...by your standard, you would judge a submissive man unworthy of your attention.

Above all, remember this is online...you might be better served in your local community rather than an online one. That would go for anyone big, small, white, black, or green...it's the difference between real life interaction and online interaction.

And, after all of that...only you can decide your self worth and what affects it.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 10:38:35 PM

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Being heavy set myself, I have gotten rude comments from Masters too, but as I have learned from the people on here in my case it doesn't matter only what my Master thinks matters. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then brush off what they say you know how beautiful you are inside and out and any Master worth their salt should see it too. Just my opinion.

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RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 11:19:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shygurlInd47374
shy isnt beauitful and she isnt the "barbie doll " type she is a bbw but is a well trained and well behaved slave thats knows her place and knows it well
she just gets sick and tired of being judged so damn much

I'm still trying to figure out where your ugly. Girl you look fucking hot in this picture, and if he can't handle the curves....too damn bad. The fact that you are saying it about yourself needs to end. You are beautiful. There are many men who love BBW, and would enjoy the depth of knowing you are so knowledgeable on your role. remind yourself occationally about this, and don't settle for anything less then that.

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/6/2007 11:43:17 PM

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Hello Everyone,

Everyone out there judges. People judge others based on their own criteria and preferences. If you have no standards, then you don't judge - but the fact is that everyone has standards and generally measures others, particularly potentional partners, to those standards.

My personal standards have to do with self-control, ethics and physical fitness. If someone is not in good physical shape, they are not attractive to me. This is not solely based on sexual attraction, but rather the fact that they cannot share my lifestyle with me. I am very athletic; I am a skilled skier, a technical rock climber, an avid outdoors person as well as a beginning martial arts practitioner. Someone who is not in good physical shape cannot share my passions. That doesn't make them ugly to me, but it does make them unattractive.

The fact is that judgement enables us to determine compatibility. Those who judge the OP unattractive because of her weight obviously consider weight to be more important than prior training and being "well behaved". As others have pointed out, the OP surely judges potential dominants based on her own sets of criteria also - she surely has a personal yardstick that she uses to determine whether or not they meet her definition of "dominant" and have the qualities she associates with that role.

Frankly, when someone shows themselves to be incompatible early on, I don't experience it as rejection, but instead I am glad that I didn't have to waste a lot of time one someone only to find they aren't what I am looking for. I have been rejected for any number of reasons; being a switch, being too active, being poly, being too old. Being dismissed as unsuitable out of hand for those (or other) reasons just permits me to keep looking around for people who are going to be more suitable.

As everyone else has said, don't internalize it. When you internalize it you are basically saying that whatever criteria or criticism they leveled at you is something that you truly believe is wrong with you. If you truly believe that the thing they criticize (I'm guessing the weight thing is number 1) is something wrong with you, you can choose to change that. If you don't truly believe it, their criticism should be utterly meaningless and you carry on without feeling any sort of need to change yourself. The true question is, how truly comfortable are you with yourself? Once you are truly comfortable with who you are and what you look like, the views of others won't really matter much.

Be well,

Peggy

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/7/2007 12:24:08 AM

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I don't believe that not liking bigger women makes anyone shallow.

Face it, if you are not physically attracted to someone, you do not have a physical relationship with them. If you find them emotionally, mentally and personally attractive, you have what is called friendship.

Shy, you are beautiful to many. Despite your personality, acheivements, or behavior, there will be some who will not find you physically attractive, just as there will be some who think you are very sexy but do not click with your personality for a deeper connection.

Physical attraction is very important in a relationship, everyone, stop calling people with preferences shallow.

_____________________________

"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

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RE: why judge a slave - 5/7/2007 2:22:33 AM

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Oh shy, these are often the same men who file their porn as 'documentary' instead of fantasy.

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Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/7/2007 3:14:35 AM

phoenixinchains

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forgive my thought process, but;
it seems that the Master/s/ of which you speak are going to the fridge for ice-cream. then apon opening the freezer T/they don't eat the ice-cream because it's strawberry and T/they prefer mint chocolate chip. if it helps, Shy, you are still wonderfully desirable ice-cream, and T/they're going hungry.
phoenix

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: why judge a slave - 5/7/2007 6:15:36 AM

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Everyone has preferences. Why would people in the lifestyle be different? It is no different than in vanilla relationships. As long as you value yourself others will see that.

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(in reply to shygurlInd47374)

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