CallaFirestormBW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Another thread got me thinking about an odd dynamic, but a fairly feasible one (maybe). And who knows, maybe it exists on a few levels. I guess my question to submissive men is this: Does the following relationship dynamic appeal to you, or does the woman's role in it take away from your ability to see her as powerful? Femdoms, could you see yourself in this "reverse dynamic" and happy at the same time?
The dynamic:
He's the breadwinner and makes all the financial decisions. He works a lot as a result. He has control of his own social time, an average amount of friends, goes out but does not ignore his wife - but he definitely chooses how he spends his time.
She stays home or works part time, but she takes care of all the domestic duties, including his laundry and ironing, the cooking and cleaning, and taking care of UMs if they have them (he plays a lesser role but is as involved as he can be and acceptable as a father). She clearly takes care of him, however, and that means she defers to him on her social schedule and tends to cater to him more than the reverse.
Sexually, though, she is totally in control - how much, when, the orgasms. She also is sadistic and cruel (in a good way, a way he enjoys) and part of what she does as a way to 'take care of him' is to always keep him on his toes, really dominating him emotionally and rigorously on a regular basis - a lot of teasing, sexual tension, etc. In a sense she is "acting" a way for him, but she does really enjoy it, it gives her a boost and she finds it fun and entertaining. But really, she only does it when he's ok with it, and he does have "down time" on a regular basis where he needs very normal sex.
Is this kind of relationship appealing to dominant women? To submissive men?
Akasha
Aakasha, this sounds like my mother! She and my dad came to the US from Europe, and they are MUCH older (my dad's in his late 80s and my mom would have been if she'd survived). At the time they married, women got married, had kids, and dads worked and took care of the money.
Despite the cultural roles they adopted, there was never any question that my -mother- was the "boss of the house". She waited on my father, served him first at meals, cooked his favorite foods, hung his laundry, and ironed his boxers (yes, she sure did iron his underwear... wierd, huh?), but she ruled the roost. No decision was made without my mother's input, and if she said jump, -everyone- (including my father) jumped -- we didn't wait around to ask "how high", because that would have annoyed her... "jump first, ask questions" later could have been her motto. She also controlled the "kitty"... pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been -- mom controlled the bedroom completely, and dad always deferred to her. When I was old enough to understand what their 'secret language' was all about, I just took it for granted, I guess, that all women handled their relationship that way. It wasn't until I married myself, and got out into the world (and found that most Army husbands weren't too keen on having me around their wives, because I gave them 'bad ideas') that I realized that the relationship my parents had (and that I inadvertently carried on with my own husband) was actually pretty unusual.
Firestorm
< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/17/2008 2:53:35 PM >
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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The lustfully sadistic woman who beats you and does you... - 
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