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RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/10/2011 9:50:32 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		No....some of our kind also switch. 

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/10/2011 9:53:31 PM   
SSBBWPam


Posts: 24
Status: offline 		That's right. Now I cannot read and am clingy. Clingy. Hmm. Clingy. To whom am I clinging?

OK OK I surrender. I give up. You got it! One less person coming here to learn, share and ask questions. Wow. Just wow.

(in reply to DarqueMirror)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/10/2011 10:07:00 PM   
ModTwentyOne


Posts: 2504
Status: offline 		How about everybody just take a deep breath, and check their inboxes for golden mail.




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If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/10/2011 10:09:16 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SSBBWPam
To whom am I clinging?

As one example, which you provided yourself, the "sub potential" who "broke up" with you via email. He was not a sub potential. He was a five percent likelihood to meet in real life potential. Ask on the Mistress board about the no show rate of male subs. It is very high. There are a lot of married men and pornography fantasists on the site. Until you meet in real you have nothing to build your pair bond.

You sound as though you have a burning desire to feel feelings. It is understandable, since you suppressed yourself for so long. You can't expect sensible men to be ok with that though.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SSBBWPam)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/10/2011 11:59:09 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SSBBWPam

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Whoa, what a generalization OP. Why are you accusing people of being wolves when you are dangling offensive bait in front of them? Do you really see nothing wrong with your question? Honestly? Let's try an experiment of switching out the underlined words....

"Are sub Germans (insert any race here) just closet gays?"
"Are sub women (transexuals, any gender orientation etc) just closet gays?"
"Are sub men just closet cooks (fashionistas, hunters, bicyclers, any type of activity here)?

OP, you really don't see the offense in lumping together large groups of people based on a trait or characteristic?

For the record, no, I do not think all sub men are closet gays. I do not think cucks are closet gays either. I'm also sure that there are some sub men and cucks that are closet gays. Human beings come in every flavor.

I knew a man with a strong desire to have his wife bring home other men. He was straight- no interest in other men. I wouldn't be surprised if he has acted on this, he truly wanted it. He is very masculine and a Dominant. I've spoken to other very straight men who thought the cuckold fantasy was hot- not sure if they ever acted on it or not but they were certainly open to it. I really think it comes down to yourself and what you are seeking as Porcelaine has mentioned. The common denominator here is yourself after all.


I never said all men. Do bears shit in the woods? Only SOME bears do. Some bears shit in the circus tent. Some bears shit in the zoo.



I'm confused, I never said that you said all men. You did however say in the title of this thread "Are sub men just closet gays?" You included all of sub men in that thread title. For instance, you didnt ask "Are some sub men just closet gays?"

(in reply to SSBBWPam)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 12:00:31 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I suspect that Pam's "reeling" from her "potential" has made her immune to logic.

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 12:03:01 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Well heck you're right, I'll pack it in. What was I thinking?

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 12:06:09 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I could wrong, but so far any attempt at logic seems to have been ARGUED over...

and met with antagonism..

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 2:10:37 AM   
badboymichael


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/30/2010
Status: offline
quote:

But the forced bi kinda loses its appeal when it is not forced but begged for.


Thank you!

I only read the first page of responses.

I will respond, in my own way, to your original question. But I want to digress a bit, starting with that statement. I've been with a couple of doms who said they wanted to dominate me, which I'm into, and then kept asking what I wanted to do. I kept telling this one that I needed a spanking, and he would answer with, "Do you want a spanking?" HELL yes! I just don't want to beg for it! It completely alters the dynamic of the session, and is not domination at all. You and I seem to be looking at the two sides of the same coin on that one: If you say you want to be dominated, let it happen and don't try to tell me what todo; if you say you want to dominate, just f'ing do it and quit asking me what I want.

As to the original question, I'm coming from the other side of the coin again. Sometimes when I'm with a guy, I set it up so that he can "accidently" see my spanking implements as a way of breaking the ice on that one. More often than not, he assumes I want to spank him -rather than have him spank me, which is what I really want - and is completely turned off by the idea of it. Very rarely do I find onw who wants to be spanked. And, when I do, all he wants is a mild hand-spanking, and isn't into being dominated at all. So, while I don't know if some of the subs you've met might be closet gays, it would be a total fallacy to equate the two.

(in reply to SSBBWPam)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 2:17:39 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

You sound as though you have a burning desire to feel feelings. It is understandable, since you suppressed yourself for so long. You can't expect sensible men to be ok with that though.



* I heart Red * in case you were wondering. :)

To the OP:
What a clusterfuck, eh?
I've been meditating on something that I thought I'd share with you:

Be the person your one true love would want to be with.

Good luck in your search.
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 4/11/2011 2:26:14 AM >

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 2:54:34 AM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline 		That question probably has not gotten you more hostile responses, because you're in ask a mistress...
Your profile seems to be attracting the emails you receive, because it's very kink friendly. I guess the problem comes in when they seem more into what you're offering, than you; but with all due respect, you're fairly tittillating with all the cuck likes, and things you're willing to do. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to SSBBWPam)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 3:00:21 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SSBBWPam

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

In answer to the OP, no, sub men are not just closet gays. Some may be, but not all.

Polls can be posted in the "Polls and Other Random Stupidity" forum.

The point is, generalization generally doesn't have a home here, within the kink community.


No, but calling my sexual fantasies wrong or telling me to erase my audio JOURNALS. Journals. There is room for that here? Calling me fat? Emailing me and calling a fat nasty whore? I mean...I been called these things before, but c'mon. No one here knows me well enough for those endearments.



I know I did not say a single one of those things to you. So why are you referencing my post in such a manner?

(in reply to SSBBWPam)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 3:42:29 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


Be the person your one true love would want to be with.



Hmmm...thanks for that reminder. :)

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 6:34:43 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		It's my pleasure. :)

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 7:38:49 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

People with a burning desire to submit are attracted to strong dominants.


Now that's a generalization if i ever saw one.

quote:

If you need a man for emotional stability, which is how it appears to me, many submissive men will be turned off by that.


Interesting turn of phrase. If i had a penny for every submissive that fit into the category named i'd have a lot of coins. This might be thread worthy.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 8:08:29 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SSBBWPam
Especially cucks. It seems like many sub men want me to force them to crossdress or do bi stuff. Now, I am way into forced bi. But the forced bi kinda loses its appeal when it is not forced but begged for.


I fuckin' WISH.  All I can find are straight boys who don't want to play with my partner as well as me.  As far as I can tell, submissive men are mostly stone heterosexual.  :/  The very few bi boys we've run into don't meet our other criteria - they have to be geeky/intellectual types to interest us, preferably of similar geek flavors to my existing poly family.  But in years of active geeky bi-boy hunting, very little luck has come our way.

Also, genderbending has jack and shit to do with sexual orientation.  Submission likewise.  Most of the xdressers I know are, as I mentioned, stone heterosexual.  ::/ 


< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 4/11/2011 8:09:38 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 8:33:20 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Dang, Porcelaine, are you bored?  Do you really think that people with a burning desire to submit are attracted to weak dominants?

Yeah, there's someone attracted to everything.  That's such a vacuous "fact," though, that it doesn't help anyone.  If the OP wants to improve her odds of meeting someone stable, in real life, the best course of action she could take is to be happy and joyful with no man in her life.  Then guys will naturally want to be near her.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 8:59:41 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SSBBWPam
Okay, just to be sure...

So far I have been told I do not ask questions right.
I do not journal right.
I do not Domme right.
I do not search right.
And now...what...I do not feel or think right?

While I agree with the sentiment...that one should remain detached until meeting...it is not always easy to do so. There are sometimes extenuating circumstances. Background information that not everyone has.

You guys are answering a bunch of questions I did not ask. Do you always have such a hard time keeping on task?


Truthfully, I did answer the question that you asked.  From your original, I honestly got the feeling that you weren't all that familiar with everything that could be put under the kinks that are associated with those who identify as cucks or the dynamics which include them.  This says to Me that you haven't had a cuck who didn't fall into the mainstream stereotyping that you put forth in your opening post or you are basically attracting a lot of fantasists.

Which ties into the above.  Instead of the question that you presented, in My opinion, the one you should be asking goes to the tune of, "is what I'm doing bringing success?"  Obviously, it's not.  It isn't on this thread, it isn't for the type of males that are attracted to your profile, and it isn't in your life.  Like it or not, the common denominator in all of your interactions is you. 

To be very frank with you, if you got emotionally invested in someone that you've never met, you didn't make the wisest move.  The background info that we don't have doesn't change the bottom line.  You put yourself in that situation and now you're paying for it.  Don't want to listen to suggestions not to do it again?  Fine.  Have at it.  Just don't be surprised when you do something that isn't very smart and then be all shocked that people don't have sympathy for you.

Speaking of which, the little tantrums about how terrible you found it here when you came to learn..........  Please.  Some of us really don't give a rat's ass.  If you really expect people on the internet to behave the way you want them to just to please you, I can promise that it's not going to happen.  You're just not Domme enough to get every person on the site to submit to the way you want them to act.

If you want to learn, then do that.  People here, in their various ways have been attempting to educate you.  As the old adage goes, you were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SSBBWPam)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 12:58:06 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Dang, Porcelaine, are you bored?  Do you really think that people with a burning desire to submit are attracted to weak dominants?


No, i'm intelligent enough to recognize that one person's strength is another ones buffoon. i don't think i need to explain that. And since when did burning desire suggest the person has their stuff together? It just means they have an interest in doing something. Not necessarily the goods to back it up.

quote:

If the OP wants to improve her odds of meeting someone stable, in real life, the best course of action she could take is to be happy and joyful with no man in her life.


i wasn't addressing the OP in my remarks. i simply stated that there are more than a few submissive individuals that present the same image and they attract dominant persons that like that. However, the identical behavior in the dominant is viewed askance.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Are sub men just closet gays? - 4/11/2011 3:19:19 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Be the person your one true love would want to be with.


Nominated for quote of the day!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 80
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