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A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 3:12:46 PM

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I am beginning to find submissives my age somewhat tedious and am now leaning towards the older more experienced submissive. I do not have any experience with older women and would like to talk to some and discuss the idea. I find it psychologically fascinating, and the mind is the most erotic part of the body. In our society we are used to our elders being figures of authority, pretty much all the way through our lives. To turn the concept on its head by dominating an older woman is very exciting and psychologically wonderfully intense and fascinating in my opinion. So, I am looking to speak with some "mature" submissives about this dynamic, so anyone interested feel free to message me. Thanks for reading

RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 3:29:44 PM

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I am EXTREMELY == not just a little but EXTREMELY immature.

SORRY CANT HELP YOU.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 3:43:45 PM

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Nothing irritates me more than someone starting with "I like older women".....

If that's the reason you're approaching me, I'm not interested.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 8/13/2012 3:44:16 PM >

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 4:00:45 PM

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If some guy told me he is interested in getting to know me because I'm older or younger, I'd pass him by. His interest in me in that way means he's just seeing me as something he has built up in his head and not in any concrete interest in ME.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 5:45:08 PM

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The problem with an "older" woman is that she is likely to be far smarter than you are.

Be careful....you might end up on the end of a leash instead of holding one.

CTLs

(in reply to Timonat)

RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 5:48:56 PM

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The ladies above all have it right. I am an older submissive who has been with much younger men, however, NONE of them approached me by saying, hey you are older! In fact, most younger men have no idea about my age and do not mention it.

So, yes, it is a red flag when someone says I love older women. After all, we are not very interested in fulfilling your Mrs. Robinson fantasy nor do we want to be a science experiment.

We know we are hot and smart and that is what you should be approaching any woman about.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/13/2012 5:49:52 PM >

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 5:59:42 PM

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I prefer men my age or older but occasionally see someone younger, but never ever if he approached me by saying he was into older women. (I get this on OKCupid all the time.)

You seem articulate and intelligent; don't lead with "older women" and you'll do fine.

Welcome!

KK

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 6:00:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

The ladies above all have it right. I am an older submissive who has been with much younger men, however, NONE of them approached me by saying, hey you are older! In fact, most younger men have no idea about my age and do not mention it.

So, yes, it is a red flag when someone says I love older women. After all, we are not very interested in fulfilling your Mrs. Robinson fantasy nor do we want to be a science experiment.

We know we are hot and smart and that is what you should be approaching any woman about.

LOL, oh GREAT! Now I have that song "Mrs Robinson" stuck in my head. Thanks LOL.

CTLs

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 7:34:35 PM

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So we're agreed then? Timonat is hunting for cougars, not looking for a submissive with a lot of experience?

I can understand the attraction, but be aware that you, Timonat, are indulging in a fetish. This diminishes the woman to her bare attributes. Which sounds a lot like "I want a woman with big tits." And in my experience, women hate those kinds of compliments. See generally; above. But you should understand why. The woman, submissive or otherwise, older or otherwise, is a person first. She wants to be engaged as a person, on equal footing. She does not want to be approached as a collection of traits that you might happen to be fancying some of now.

But I understand that you are expressing the symptom of your desires, not the cause. ....Anticip-........

There must be a correlation between older women and what you actually desire. You don't just want skin that has seen more days of sunlight. For example, maybe You find older women tend to be more self aware, knowing what they want out of life with more certainty as compared to others.

.....-ation.

(And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Bambi spins plates.)

< Message edited by BambiBoi -- 8/13/2012 7:35:37 PM >

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 8:07:57 PM

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I admit that I like Bambi.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 8:33:12 PM

SacredDepravity

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CTLoveslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

The ladies above all have it right. I am an older submissive who has been with much younger men, however, NONE of them approached me by saying, hey you are older! In fact, most younger men have no idea about my age and do not mention it.

So, yes, it is a red flag when someone says I love older women. After all, we are not very interested in fulfilling your Mrs. Robinson fantasy nor do we want to be a science experiment.

We know we are hot and smart and that is what you should be approaching any woman about.

LOL, oh GREAT! Now I have that song "Mrs Robinson" stuck in my head. Thanks LOL.

CTLs

And now I have the American Pie scene stuck in mine. THANKS! STIFFLER'S MOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!

More seriously, first I agree with the others. Do NOT approach me due to my age or lack of it. You'd better like something more about me. Things that change: age, weight, hair color, hair length, size and position of boobies, size and position of ass, size and position of tummy, jiggliness of arms, lines on the face. The things that don't change: intelligence, common sense, wit, charm, manners, and attitude.

Oh, and I KNOW what would happen to a young buck that didn't have any idea how to handle a fine ride like me. I'd be riding HIM. Just a thought....

SD

(in reply to CTLoveslave)

RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 8:41:21 PM

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I'm 27 now... I'm just for the first time starting to not get carded anymore all the time when ordering alcohol and that's hard enough for me to deal with.

in the future, I'll punch the first guy that claims he wants to date me because I'm an older woman square in the nose.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 8/13/2012 8:42:08 PM >

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 8:45:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I admit that I like Bambi.

Squee!

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 8:55:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I admit that I like Bambi.

Yeah me too... I never thought I'd ever see myself type a line like this but...

Bambi's brain turns me on...

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 9:01:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Nothing irritates me more than someone starting with "I like older women".....

If that's the reason you're approaching me, I'm not interested.

No fucking shit. I am mystified to find myself suddenly cast into the corner of "older woman". Well, jeez Louise, ain't it a pity? Okay, so I'm significantly impaired by age-related glee that accompanies the shedding of the Seriousness of Life and that hokey masquerade that boils down to inhibition and shame. I find myself between a rock and a hard place with Mistresses on chat having the balls to tell me that an "older submissive" is just not as desirable because "she has no doubt been trained already and is set in her ways" or just the old saw that "she's just not young and ever-so-fresh", and that tiresome Dom who "wants to experience the wisdom of an older woman" smacks of a line a little too close for comfort to the nudging grin that "they're grateful..." ....caveat emptor on that one. Any dolt foolhardy enough to try that lame-ass approach with me deserves the stinging flick of my waspish tongue they've got coming.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 9:33:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I admit that I like Bambi.

Yeah me too... I never thought I'd ever see myself type a line like this but...

Bambi's brain turns me on...

No pressure.

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/13/2012 10:51:45 PM

lizi

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When men approach me because I physically fit some criteria of theirs I run. It is the biggest turnoff to me to have some physical quality that is a man's sole reason for being interested in me. I want someone to want me as a whole person. Yes, I understand preferences, I have them myself. I'm not talking about that. It's the approach of setting out to find someone solely based on some corporeal quality that kind of turns my stomach and leaves me completely uninterested in that person as a result.

(in reply to Timonat)

RE: A mature submissive? - 8/14/2012 3:02:16 AM

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Thank you all for your answers, they are very interesting. I have to admit I was not expecting such a...shall we say negative interpretation of my desire, to the point where I am almost forced to defend it. I think I should address some of the points mentioned, but first I think I should apologize to those I seem to have offended.

The general opinion seems to be that "you" do not like being found interested for simply being older rather than for who you are. But the reality is, we are all looking for certain characteristics in our mates. Is not me saying I am interested in "you" because you are older similar as me saying I am interested in you because you are submissive? both are preconditions. You could also say " I want you to be interested in me for who I am, not simply because I am submissive". Or what about all the people who have things written like " I am looking for tall men, or black men, or men my age"? They are all specific specifications that appeal to them. And what is wrong with wanting to experiment and tryign new things, is that not what BDSM is about? (discounting the deeper layers of connection and emotional fulfillment). And is BDSM not also about breaking boundaries and taboos? Is this place not about being a safe pace to be able to indulge our fantasies (within reason) and not be judged for wanting to?

Having said that, I do very much appreciate the responses and do apologize to those of you who who attach negative connotations to my"idea" or if I made you feel degraded in any way. That really was not my attention at all!

< Message edited by Timonat -- 8/14/2012 3:05:06 AM >

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/14/2012 3:11:58 AM

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You know, I'm cool with a man who has a preference for an older woman. I tend to go for younger men. Why not? Notice I said, "tend to". However, the interest is waning somewhat as I'm more interested in settling down than I am for hanging out and such. Also, I don't go out looking for a "young man" so much as I tend to find younger men interesting - all full of arrogance (often displaced) and passion. I enjoy the way they look at life and that they are not as jaded (generally) as men my age and older.

If however this is some "I wanna dominate my professor / sunday school teacher / divorcee neighbor" kind of fantasy, pass on by...

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RE: A mature submissive? - 8/14/2012 4:41:23 AM

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I would like to make one more point, and I will use a very basic example to make it. Let's take a very basic act in the D/s dynamic, being tied up. For a submissive, being tied up is about not having control and being in someone else's power. Being tied up does not give you any physical pleasure, you could say it is physically benign, it is purely a psychological sensation, it is all in the mind. I do not think anyone can argue with me on that. A submissive gets psychological satisfaction and excitement by being tied up. So what is the difference between a submissive getting a psychological kick out of being tied up, and me getting a psychological kick out of dominating a woman who is older than I am?

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

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