LadyPact
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quote:
ORIGINAL: vincentML
You and Des raise an important issue here. A chicken or the egg question? ~~ which I earlier discounted because the parents were forced to shoulder the "blame" for the development of gay male behavior. In the broader sense (and pretending to have a knowledge of psychology) we can ask the question: which came first the pattern of behavior as a social meme or the behavior itself? Did Jung's archetypes precede the erotic magazines or did the magazines make up an acceptable image simply by chance that colored in between the lines of Jung's archetypes? I was very much influenced by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus in Furs but I cannot swear whether it preceded my kink or followed it. How would I know how to behave if not for the media? Or, was I excited by the images in magazines before I ever knew about the rationales in Venus? Clearly, Leopold predated the magazines I saw during my teen years, but I was not aware if him. So, confusing. But really simple enough. The model was out there and i conformed my behavior to it. Or, I had these strange desires and I found a rationale for them. Which?
But wait, it can get even more confusing. A Hungarian born Canadian physician, Dr. Gabor Mate created a stir about ten years ago when he published his theory that the cause of adult addictions can be found in childhood stress events Mate's definition of addiction is broad enough to include some paraphilia like BDSM inferiority.
Dr Maté defines addiction as any behaviour or substance that a person uses or takes part in that has negative consequences. The person tries to stop but will crave the substance or behaviour and will ultimately relapse. By this definition there are many things in modern culture that have the potential to become addictive such as gambling, sex, work and of course drugs.[10] He argues the "war on drugs" actually punishes people for having been abused and entrenches addiction more deeply as studies show that stress is the biggest driver of addictive relapse and behavior.[5] He says a system that marginalizes, ostracizes and institutionalizes people in facilities with no care and easy access to drugs, only worsens the problem.[5] He also argues the environmental causes of addiction point to the need to improve child welfare policies (e.g. U.S. welfare laws that force many single women to find low-paying jobs far away from home and their children) and the need for better support for families overall, as most children in North America are now away from their parents from an early age due to economic conditions.[5] He feels that society needs to change policies that disadvantage certain minority groups, causing them more stress and therefore increased risks for addictions.[5]
There has been a lot of comment in the area of addiction and childhood stress the last ten years or so.
Geneticists have discovered DNA~altering mechanisms that can link childhood stress to adult addictions, but I am way in over my head at this point, so I'll quit here.
Very much interested in your replies.
Some really good stuff in here. There are times I wish I was more philosophical or had better answers. I'll just do the best I can.
As a Dominant woman, or even as a top, I consider myself as having to attempt to sort out certain things. One of them, as many Dominant women have mentioned countless times over the years on the boards is, does this person really think this kind deal works the same way it does in porn. Is the person honestly mentally unhealthy, believing themselves to be a lesser human being?
Did they just make the mistake of leading with their kink first? It's hard to tell when people have only the stereotypes of porn to go on, so you have to wonder which of the categories that they are coming from.
Just so it's clear that people don't think I'm bashing certain segments of people, I'll turn this thing around. When you see an introduction that seems to come straight from a porn flick, one of the common stereotypes that are popular... Maybe the female top who is the ice princess, or they engage in S/m because they hate men, or start going on about their God-given superiority due to gender, race, or any other thing: What do you think? Are you terribly impressed that this is a well rounded individual? Does it occur to you that this person might really be the type of narcissist that might not be a good idea to be around? Are they playing, putting forward the kind of scenes they would like to have or is this person an abusive twat who might actually be abusive?
I'm the first person to tell you. If I was producing porn, I'd exploit the crap out of certain stereotypes/themes because I'd be in the business of making money. I'd absolutely do my market research to be aware of what sells. Here's your script. We know this type of thing does well. It's a different motivator.
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
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RE: inferior? - 
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