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RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/12/2007 10:42:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

Why do you, Dom, want a young woman sub/slave
if you are over 40?

Hello shyinini... For her wisdom, grace, discernement and cool composure??.. (or gullable hot bod?) When you ask a vanilla 50 year old why he likes a certain 20 year old you often get the ''she is very mature for her age'' bullshit. In BDSM it's a kink. Thats what it is all about. You have advantages and disadvantages. What makes me smile is when you young bods look for 'advantages' without paying your dues. For my part I don't scare easy, give me the 40+...me likes them 'advantages'! HAR!HAR! RL.

question, if age gap relationships are a "kink," as in, like, a fetish, what exactly are they for vanilla people?

i kind of cringe at the idea that age gap relationships are a kink in the way, you know, pony play is a kink.

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(in reply to robertolapiedra)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/12/2007 11:47:15 PM

robertolapiedra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

Why do you, Dom, want a young woman sub/slave
if you are over 40?

Hello shyinini... For her wisdom, grace, discernement and cool composure??.. (or gullable hot bod?) When you ask a vanilla 50 year old why he likes a certain 20 year old you often get the ''she is very mature for her age'' bullshit. In BDSM it's a kink. Thats what it is all about. You have advantages and disadvantages. What makes me smile is when you young bods look for 'advantages' without paying your dues. For my part I don't scare easy, give me the 40+...me likes them 'advantages'! HAR!HAR! RL.

question, if age gap relationships are a "kink," as in, like, a fetish, what exactly are they for vanilla people?

i kind of cringe at the idea that age gap relationships are a kink in the way, you know, pony play is a kink.

Hello hisannabelle. Now now, we can't have you cringing! I said for a vanilla 'masking' the age difference with the ''she is mature for her age'' motiv, it's bullshitt. You agree or not?

I also said in BDSM it is kink as it relates to 'prefered age' of sub exclusive of other subs and this by 40+ doms. I'm 54, the question is asked to 'me' and 'I' say it is 'kink'. The question and context is specific, so is the answer.

Now if 'you' are saying that young sub of 20 may be with a dom of 50. I have no problems with that. If the 'dom' says ''she is mature for her age''? It's bullshit same as the vanilla example. If the dom throws her out (gives her her freedom?) when she turns 21 and replaces her with another '20 year old clone', it maybe kink or another BDSM fucking coincidence... I use the word kink in a general descriptive way as in 'kinky sex' not in your specific fetish play descriptive.

In other words, the age kink is there. You are 'favored' by it it is ok, but don't tell me that 'choosing' exclusively an 18-25 sub when your my age means I am choosing 'better' than a mature woman with 20 years of experience. I'm choosing different because of what? because I have a young age kink. Nothing to cringe about. I myself have a young sub of 44. My age kink is 40+.

For vanillas? It is the same depending of motivation, age kink exists. They're not Klingons for Heaven's sakes!.RL.

< Message edited by robertolapiedra -- 5/12/2007 11:57:44 PM >

(in reply to hisannabelle)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 12:04:16 AM

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" One is either born with it or they aren't, it cannot be learned and it cannot be given away... When the chemistry is right, the results are amazing." -- shyinini

Some seek a symbolic parental figure, who did not have a decent real one. Others seek to impart their wisdom to a symbolic adult offspring figure, since they never had one of their own.

I am an equal opportunity mentor.

(in reply to minnetar)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 1:44:40 AM

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From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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greetings robert,

i agree that for some people, it can be a kink. it is not always a kink. for us, it is not a kink, it just sort of happened...neither of us were looking for an age gap relationship, and it's not why we got together.

i honestly don't think age has shit to do with shit, really. if you're 54 and she's 18 and you're compatible, "choosing" a 40 year old woman over her would not be "choosing better." at the same time, if you are 54 and compatible with a 54 year old, "choosing" a 20 year old would not be "choosing better." not everyone who ends up in an age gap relationship has an age kink. i don't choose partners based on their age.

as far as the maturity thing, age has nothing to do with maturity, imho, so to me, that's completely irrelevant.

annabelle.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 5/13/2007 1:45:42 AM >

_____________________________

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 3:00:22 AM

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I've always found that for Me the dynamic works at its best with an older Dominant/younger submissive. How much younger doesn't seem to matter a great deal.

When searching I looked at all potentials between 18 and just below My own age. Most of those where I found a mutual spark tended to be in their early twentys. The one I found and now Own is in her early thirtys... Had I found her a decade earlier I think it would have still ended up the same way because aside from the dynamic it is who she is that drew Me, not what age she is.

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(in reply to shyinini)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 3:02:28 AM

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Personally, I greatly prefer older men. It doesn't really matter how much older - 20 or 50, either sounds great to me.

I do think it's an aspect that plays off of power, and the thought that with age comes wisdom, maturity...

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 4:58:38 AM

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From: Tampa, FL
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Fast reply -
Some prefer youth because it is fleeting like the cactus flower that only blooms for such a short time. The problem is that so many young women are trained to know that they can get whatever they want without having to develop character. How many men vanilla and kink later whine about how they were taken advantage of by sweet little hardbodies? But it is what it is.

As an 'ageless' woman, i have baggage, but i have been dilligent to keep my bags light enough for me to carry by myself and to fit easily in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of me. The same life experience that creates baggage also developed character and interesting travels, appreciation for life's beauty and not my own. Life experience has made it easier for me to accept my submission not constantly trying to Top from the bottom.

i am not bothered by other people's preferences be they for youth, size, experience level or whether they like sushi but not steak. i dislike jazz no matter what age you are LOL. Why? Don't know, it's just my preference.

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RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 5:16:47 AM

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i used to be immature, but that was over a fortnight ago!!

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RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 6:33:04 AM

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I swore to myself I wasnt gonna come back to this….
After reading from the beginning again, I cant believe how upset I got. I felt my integrity attacked. I tend to be reactionary and KNOW my own weaknesses well.
Stepping away to gain self control is awesome.

I had no agenda when I started this thread, it was of total curiosity.
After reading ALL the replies…some thoughts:

N4SDChastity It was to happypervert I replied cuz
he was so damned mean, rude and crude but only partially correct in his first paragraph. My skin was rather tender at that point.
eyesopened wrote
“As an 'ageless' woman, i have baggage, but i have been dilligent to keep my bags light enough for me to carry by myself and to fit easily in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of me. The same life experience that creates baggage also developed character and interesting travels, appreciation for life's beauty and not my own.”

Thank you, I appreciated that cause while you ARE diligent, I try to be.

As for the “other” conflict, sometimes posters, like me, don’t go about judging the character of others based upon their opinions on a message board. BUT sometimes we have verbal altercations that we regret later (I do anyway) and they follow us around like leeches cause peeps like to remember. This is NO reflection on you N4SDChastity. Peace.

Totalmaster4you I applaud you as well for this response.
Another reason it is awesome is because D/s, M/s isn’t always JUST about sex and kink and this proves it.

Addressing Raphael ~ once again questioning intent and motivation? Take the question as you seem fit, but the question
did not include the word ONLY.

Then Faramir “Hahahahaahah! ZOMG, there is nothing funnier than the whole "What, me???" innocence of the passive-agressive. But hell, I'll play. Whoever you are poking at, must prefer hot, luscious 18-25 year old bodies. There, happy?” Might I ask what got up your ass?
I was poking at NO ONE… I really do not like it when someone questions intent… as if some hidden agenda, as previously stated, is the aim of posting, esp me. Like I asked before, do YOU question everyone’s intent? I didn’t think so.

FINALLY….
Maturity, intelligence, attitude, preference~~ Seems to be the analysis of what is WANTED.

Do have a GREAT day all

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to shyinini)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 6:42:49 AM

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quote:

rude and crude

Provided nicely by this comment from you:
Might I ask what got up your ass?

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(in reply to shyinini)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 8:39:54 AM

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This is a great thread. I am fascinated at the level of passion that it has inspired. The question, offered without a great deal of introduction or build-up, could have been taken in many different ways. I find it interesting that it seems to have touched such a nerve in so many people. Of course, many saw the OP as appearing bitter that dominants of her age seem attracted to younger women. She made no such assertion and vehemently denies it. The fact is that it is a great question.

I have noticed some things. First, asubmissive woman will be interested in an older dominant man, but will not want anything to do with a substantially younger dominant man. A submissive man will willingly seek out a much younger dominant woman or might well accept an older dominant woman. Dominant women seem to vary in their preferences. Dominant men will take either, but prefer younger. These aresimply observations that I have made regarding people I have had discourse with. I have not engaged in any real study.

For my part, intelligence and attitude are far more important than age or even appearance. Now, given that I am approaching 50 and still have not completely given up on the possibility of having children, I am not sure that I would choose a submissive (if I were to limit myself to one submissive) who was beyond the age of childbearing and rearing. That is a matter of pragmatism, not personal preference. Certainly, I don't think I would choose a submissive below the age of 30, they are simply in a different place in life where it would be difficult to reconcile our respective needs.

I do, however, understand why submissive women can sometimes feel a bit threatened or perhaps aggravated at men of their age "cavorting" with much younger women. Since they cannot imagine themselves enjoying a much younger man, it is hard for them to recognize that other people can really be very happy in a relationship with a large age difference. They are just plain mind-boggled at the idea.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 8:56:51 AM

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Nogimmicks Now, given that I am approaching 50 and still have not completely given up on the possibility of having children, I am not sure that I would choose a submissive (if I were to limit myself to one submissive) who was beyond the age of childbearing and rearing. That is a matter of pragmatism, not personal preference.

Very interesting point !! And thank you Nogimmicks.

I was interested in a Dom about 15 yrs younger than myself back in 2003, he never knew it, but once I read he wanted children, I wrote and told him I adored him from afar (we were in a yahoo group together) and we had a good friendship going after that. I smile as I fondly remember him.

< Message edited by shyinini -- 5/13/2007 8:57:49 AM >

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to Nogimmicks)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 9:09:55 AM

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Why does someone prefer redheads or tall guys or guys who drive jeeps or someone with all of their teeth? I could go on forever. It's subjective. It's personal preference.
I only searched for doms between 25 and 35 when I was looking.
Why? Because I find younger men completely attractive. Plain and simple. It played right into fantasies that I had. Everyone has their own reasons for their own preferences. There is no right or wrong.

(in reply to shyinini)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 9:11:25 AM

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Oh...and I find it ridiculous that people can argue over personal preferences.

(in reply to Aileen68)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 9:24:22 AM

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quote:

Oh...and I find it ridiculous that people can argue over personal preferences.

I find it ridiculous that you call yourself "sub" yet have preferences....don't you know that any guy who self-proclaims as "dom" or "master" is good enough for you?

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RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 9:38:14 AM

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To the OP:

I do apologize, to you, and all who have visited this thread. My "altercation" with the other should not have played out, here, but it did, and for that I am truely sorry. I was set upon by someone who obviously has a personal animosity towards me, for reasons of her own, and I felt compelled to defend where I should have just ignored. Hindsight, and all that...

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 9:41:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: N4SDChastity

To the OP:

I do apologize, to you, and all who have visited this thread. My "altercation" with the other should not have played out, here, but it did, and for that I am truely sorry. I was set upon by someone who obviously has a personal animosity towards me, for reasons of her own, and I felt compelled to defend where I should have just ignored. Hindsight, and all that...

I had mine too Sir...

No worries...K?

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.

(in reply to N4SDChastity)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 9:57:21 AM

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Joined: 6/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

Why do you, Dom, want a young woman sub/slave
if you are over 40?

Why not?

(in reply to shyinini)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 9:59:32 AM

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Not directly on topic, but that hasn't stopped most here...

When I began pursuing relationships with men in my 20's, I was always drawn to men in their late 30s and early 40s. I just figured I liked older guys......Curiously, when I began pursuing relationships again after a long relationship and a haitus, I found that I was still drawn to men in their late 30s and early 40s. But now that age group is younger than me....so I must just like guys in the prime of their lives....with some life under their belt...and still with life under their belt (no disrespect implied, I just couldn't pass up the pun

)

Identifying why one prefers one attribute over another can be curious. But is often a poor use of time, unless one repeatedly selects partners that lead to destructive relationships. In those cases, information is power.

best!

...song...

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Before discovering bdsm, my motto was "Like me or bite me." But here, everyone seems to think that is an invitation.

(in reply to shyinini)

RE: 18-25 yr old subs - 5/13/2007 10:52:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

quote:

ORIGINAL: N4SDChastity

To the OP:

I do apologize, to you, and all who have visited this thread. My "altercation" with the other should not have played out, here, but it did, and for that I am truely sorry. I was set upon by someone who obviously has a personal animosity towards me, for reasons of her own, and I felt compelled to defend where I should have just ignored. Hindsight, and all that...

I had mine too Sir... No worries...K?

No worries, Shy. My problem was with minnetar.

(in reply to shyinini)

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