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So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 6:59:15 AM

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At any given point during an email exchange, if I find someone interesting has actually contacted Me, I'll ask for a face pic. So, he returns the face pic, and My first reaction is just that's it's completely not attractive. Not a case of someone I would be interested in. I know, this sounds totally shallow, but it happens to be the truth.

Now, I don't want to be rude and avoid the issue by not responding at all. Usually, the most polite thing I think I can do is say thank you, but I'm looking for a different type. Somehow, to Me, this still seems a bit rude. Does anyone have a better suggestion? I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't wish to lie about the situation either. Comments?

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:01:20 AM

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I don't think that sounds rude. Sounds honest. I think it should be understood (by both parties) that not everyone is going to find everyone else attractive. No reason for hurt feelings. What you don't find attractive, someone else will.

I hate it when I make a typo.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 5/26/2007 7:03:12 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:08:54 AM

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I'm pretty sure noone has ever had a problem telling me they weren't interested when they saw my pic. The thing is when thats all you have to go on on here then it is quite important and unless you feel that there is chemistry that might develope into something and you can actually go and meet them face to face and then make your decision well I say just say sorry your not my type or whatever as long as your not nasty with how you put it I dont think its wrong.
It is very awkward and I find it difficult myself to not be offensive or hurt someones feelings but if your searching for your ideal then you just have to be upfront. Good luck

And at least your going to reply, I imagine its worse if someone just ignors you after they have seen you picture.

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(in reply to bandit25)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:16:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: canupleaseme

And at least your going to reply, I imagine its worse if someone just ignors you after they have seen you picture.

This has been done to me where i sent a picture and was ignored...it is worse. For me, i prefer someone informing me that i am physically not their type - when you have a certain amount of life experiences behind you, you usually are pretty aware of the types people you are attractive to. i remember at one point in my life thinking slim girls could have any guy they wanted...not true:-) when you don't have enough curves, it is worse than having too many! LOL!!

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(in reply to canupleaseme)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:20:18 AM

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While honesty is almost always the best policy, I understand about not wanting to hurt another person's feelings....especially regarding their appearance as almost ALL of us are sensitive in some way when it comes to that. We want others to find us "attractive" and "desireable." Of course, as someone else mentioned, "attractiveness" is subjective. What we find unattractive, someone else may find quite attractive.

We have all been in that situation where someone has sent up a picture or we have even met them in person and we just didn't find them physically appealing. When someone sends me a picture like that, I generally say..."Nice picture" as I try to find some redeeming quality about them or the pic...ie. "Wow, you are tall, great eyes, great background scenery, etc." Sometimes, you just can't...so, "Nice pic" or as you stated, "Thank you for the pic, etc." is what I have used in those instances. Ignoring someone is certainly rude and leads them to come to their own conclusions. Now, if someone point blank asks you if you find them attractive, that's a totally different "ball of wax." Usually I can find my way out of that by saying, "I generally prefer taller men" if they are short or "younger men" if they are older, etc. No one wants to find out that you don't find them to be attractive; however, if someone asks that sort of question, they better be prepared for an honest answer.

Be well,
M. Diva

< Message edited by gothicdiva -- 5/26/2007 7:21:36 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:28:01 AM

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Exactly !!! I have very low self esteem about how I look and I used to hate giving my picture out to people but at least when someone tells you sorry your not my type you can move on and get over it instead of sitting feeling ugly.

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(in reply to dawntreader)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:35:31 AM

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Thank you for the replies so far. I hope to hear more of them.

I agree with all of the comments about each of Us having a some type of self conscious attitude about our looks. Personally, I don't think I'm everyone's cup of tea either. I've been rejected due to My looks, and it's not the most pleasant feeling in the world. Exactly why I don't want to do it to anyone else. Just because someone isn't a match for Me on a physical appearance level doesn't mean I want to be hurtful.

I guess I'm mostly looking for opinions based on the fact that I do want to be truthful, but still be nice about it.

(in reply to canupleaseme)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:36:45 AM

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Nothing rude about it. If you don't like what you see just tell them no thanks.

Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 5/26/2007 8:04:58 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:38:09 AM

MzMia

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LOL, LadyPact I usually find something else about him that I can use to back away.
Where does he live? Then you can say: I think you live to far, maybe we can become friends!
Or
His career? I think your career will not allow you to have enough time to spare for me, maybe we be friends!
Or
His family? I think you have too many demands on your time with your family, maybe we can be friends!
Trust me, you can always find another reason to ease away slowly and politely.
I can think of 100 things off the top of my head.
I hope he does not read these boards!
LOL

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:45:30 AM

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My mother always taught me that a persons physical appearance changes with their personality and attitude. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" I have found this to be true. I don't accept pics nor request them unless I really find a connection with someone. Some men that weren't necessarily pleasing to my eye were pleasing to my psyche. This made them more physically attractive to me because they had achieved stimulating my mind.

I have had a long term friendship/relationship with a man that most people would find QUASIMOTOISH at first sight because they haven't taken the time to get to know him on a more personal level.

I know I am not attractive to everyone and that everyone is not going to be attractive to me. However, I have found if you can get past the physical structure and look at the structure of the heart of a person, that physical structure can become your Mr/Ms America.

People aren't stupid though...if you reject them after receiving their picture, they know why you are rejecting them regardless of the reason you use. My advice would be not to ask for a picture if you don't feel the electricity of a real connection.

< Message edited by BBBTBW -- 5/26/2007 7:49:53 AM >

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(in reply to canupleaseme)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:51:18 AM

MzMia

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I totally agree BBBTW, at my age I am looking more at the inside than the outside.
Hummm I see a nice topic brewing here, maybe I will start that thread tomorrow.
But again, when I find the right submissive for ME, I think I can overlook about anything
physically.
If I feel that it is something I can help him change however, he must be willing to also
allow me to do that.
Happy Memorial Day to all!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to BBBTBW)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:54:00 AM

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If you don't want to lie, then tell the truth, You are after all a Domina---a simple. "thank you so much, however, you do not have the look I am seeking..."

anything else is a lie--

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:54:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I guess I'm mostly looking for opinions based on the fact that I do want to be truthful, but still be nice about it.

Imo... You're doing the right thing. Break it to him as polite as possible and if he gets all pissy then block? That's about all you can do? Nothing worse than the silent treatment! I feel it's rude if there has already been a decent exchange.... jmo

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 7:57:59 AM

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Joined: 3/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

At any given point during an email exchange, if I find someone interesting has actually contacted Me, I'll ask for a face pic. So, he returns the face pic, and My first reaction is just that's it's completely not attractive. Not a case of someone I would be interested in. I know, this sounds totally shallow, but it happens to be the truth.

Now, I don't want to be rude and avoid the issue by not responding at all. Usually, the most polite thing I think I can do is say thank you, but I'm looking for a different type. Somehow, to Me, this still seems a bit rude. Does anyone have a better suggestion? I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't wish to lie about the situation either. Comments?

Try bi-sexuality.

I've heard that what happens to women over 45 is that the males they are attracted (younger) to aren't attracted to them. It's also my understanding that all males want to love you, take care of you, and protect you forever (until you're 40).

Perhaps you're experiencing (or soon will be) a variation of the "live by the sword, die by the sword" phenomenon.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 8:02:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Thank you for the replies so far. I hope to hear more of them.

I agree with all of the comments about each of Us having a some type of self conscious attitude about our looks. Personally, I don't think I'm everyone's cup of tea either. I've been rejected due to My looks, and it's not the most pleasant feeling in the world. Exactly why I don't want to do it to anyone else. Just because someone isn't a match for Me on a physical appearance level doesn't mean I want to be hurtful.

I guess I'm mostly looking for opinions based on the fact that I do want to be truthful, but still be nice about it.

I understand this perfectly. I have sent along pics so many times and then the person just drops off the face of the Earth. And I've had enough rude responses to reduce anyone to tears. It's really hard to be nice about rejecting someone though, isn't it? The majority of the replies to your post have been to just be honest...and LadyPact we have all seen how tactful you are! Maybe there is a magic remedy for this...I hope so!

With kind regard,
~Kara

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 8:07:46 AM

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Not sure what you mean... "you are after all a Domina". I respect your posts and don't want to think that you mean if you're a sub/slave you need to lie. I think attraction has nothing to do with being a dom, sub, slave, domme, etc.

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 8:09:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peepeegirl5

Try bi-sexuality.

I've heard that what happens to women over 45 is that the males they are attracted (younger) to aren't attracted to them. It's also my understanding that all males want to love you, take care of you, and protect you forever (until you're 40).

Perhaps you're experiencing (or soon will be) a variation of the "live by the sword, die by the sword" phenomenon.

WTF??? First of all, I don't know what you are reading, but burn it---women like Lady Pact, Myself and others, have more than our share of Men from 20 ( yep 20) to 75 to choose from, We are hardly desparate or are the men we are attrated to, un attracted to Us---puhleez----

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to peepeegirl5)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 8:11:42 AM

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I agree if there is something that can be improved upon in my eyes, he needs to be willing to follow my lead there as well.

Tell me MzMia. Are you going to Black Beat?

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"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 8:13:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Not sure what you mean... "you are after all a Domina". I respect your posts and don't want to think that you mean if you're a sub/slave you need to lie. I think attraction has nothing to do with being a dom, sub, slave, domme, etc.

No bandit I did not mean that at all, what I meant was, that She should have the strength to let him down with the truth---telling him all things like, I dont like where you live---don't do anyone justice. And you are right, no human regardless of lifestyle position should lie, there are decent ways of saying the truth---

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: So he sent the pic and then....... - 5/26/2007 8:14:49 AM

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Gosh wtf was that all about peepee girl? What has bisexuality got to do with anything ? I must admit I find your posts somewhat confusing

I think the advice you have been given so far is great Lady Pact. (well besides the bi bit lol)

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(in reply to MHOO314)

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