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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:15:20 PM

domiguy

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I'll protect you from the meanies for a tit shot....Gash, is acceptable as well, if you've got some lying around.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:20:54 PM

CrazyC

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Two questions....Why do you need someone else to protect you from other Doms? You mentioned you want to make your own decisions in who to play with, but yet you wear a collar. There is a reason i have never worn a collar even when it was offered for many diffrent names....because it says i am owned in some way to some other Dom. Too many Doms i know don't want to bother with asking permition or dealing with another Dom.

Next, if you are only wanting this Dom around for help when things go wrong or advice on things, why can't it just be by a Dom that you respect without a collar? There is no need for a collar unless you like having some tie keeping the two of you together. For simple things like advice, help when things go wrong, and just to learn from, there are many who would provide that without a collar. I have met too many Doms who use the collar of protection to keep a sub to themselves, and then when they find someone better they release you without any care. Or a way to have many diffrent subs without commiting to any of them.

I can see how subs use the collar also though to keep a Dom tied to them, but in most cases i find it the other way around.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:21:28 PM

fairerthanshe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Sorry to hear about your experience...I don't want to know all of the details...I would probably just end up jacking off....(I attribute that last comment to the fact that I have a sick sense of humor and I am a lost and twisted fuck)......Anywhooo if the person that attacked you was from a meeting and not some randon act of violence then I would wonder what protocol you implemented to get to know this dude before the attack happened?..Perhaps you rushed things or maybe the guy was just a complete turd?...Impossible to say.

Either way I can understand your dilemma but you should know there are many "good guys" who will simply not be willing to jump through these hoops to give you peace of mind....Perhaps you feel that someone who won't meet with "this man" is hiding something....I just don't like the idea of a woman who is so incapable of recognizing what might be good for her that she would defer this judgement to someone else.

Greetings Domiguy,

I understand where your coming from - I shouldn't have to have someone do this for me, but after the assault/scene gone way beyond bad, I did need a little help from him. He is not trying to play the "all knowing protector" - in fact, he's probably glad to be rid of me lol Right now, he's just being a good friend.

well wishes,

fairer

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Post #: 63

RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:24:17 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bliss1

I wear a collar of protection.
The man who allows me to wear it is someone who knows me well and can help me not just jump into something (which I have been known to do). It gives me a friend where I can go - is it me or is it a man thing?
Also we know someone in real life that I find a royal pain in the butt. This man will respect a collar, but he does not know how to honor someone's home.
I was seriously ill this winter and once I had recovered I did not want him showing up at my door step "Surprise! Just wanted to see how you are doing." (Surprise visits were/are common for him.) Wearing the collar helps me feel safe that he will not be doing that.

I'm sorry ...."the guy will respect a collar"....But for some reason he won't respect the fact when you look him in the eyes and tell him, "to stay the fuck away and quit bothering me?"

If you tell him to stay the fuck away and he shows up unannounced then you call the cops!!!....If he shows up again you get a restraining order....And trust me, at this point some little cute collar won't mean a damn thing.....

Does anyone really interact with people in an uncomputerized environment any more?.....There are social skills involved in getting rid of unwanted pests...They include the words "Fuck &Off &You& Pathetic& Creepy&Bitch"....If this doesn't do the trick just grab your collar tightly and I'm sure everything will be ok.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:28:30 PM

bliss1

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Why have I chosed to do it this way instead of saying fuck off and calling the police
For one I have said fuck off - he still showed up.
As for calling the cops and all the other crap - to wear the collar keeps the hassles away. I really do not want to go through all the paper work that is involved with calling the police (plus proving that he has been requested not to show up is difficult) and asking for a restaining order. Been there and the order really does not mean much unless the person harms you physically.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:33:40 PM

MrDiscipline44

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Thats why man invented tasers, my dear.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:35:25 PM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bliss1

Why have I chosed to do it this way instead of saying fuck off and calling the police
For one I have said fuck off - he still showed up.
As for calling the cops and all the other crap - to wear the collar keeps the hassles away. I really do not want to go through all the paper work that is involved with calling the police (plus proving that he has been requested not to show up is difficult) and asking for a restaining order. Been there and the order really does not mean much unless the person harms you physically.

Okay but you still have not explained why this collar will keep you safe. IT WON'T. I'm sorry - the way I see it is if you can't stand up for yourself and take the necasaary precautions to keep yourself safe...........how can you expect anyone else to do it. Are you that incapable of making choices for yourself - about yourself? Do you honestly needs some Super Dom to look out for you?

And I'm not saying this to be mean. Listen, I have heard far to many girls here of late subscribe to this thinking. "I'm submissive - which means I'm helpless" thinking. It's not healthy.

And if it works for you then by all means good luck with that. And I know this probably sounded very mean and judgemental. Please know that i don't mean to come off like that, However, your saying someone is stalking you. So to SOLVE this, instead of calling the cops, you get a collar of protection???? WTF?

< Message edited by drawntothedark -- 5/29/2007 2:45:37 PM >

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:40:59 PM

fairerthanshe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Thats why man invented tasers, my dear.

Greetings Master,

Well said, and wish I had one!

well wishes,

fairer

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:42:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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There's a fun shop on 6th Street that sells a few different types. They even have PINK ones now!

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:48:49 PM

fairerthanshe

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Cool! Thanks for the info LA - FF here i come, yes?

well wishes,

fairer

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 2:59:10 PM

rick4you

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I was kinda wondering what kind of relationship you have had with this dom has been was it only friends or more?Have they been more of a dom to you in past?This might have been more of an indicator of something more implied also.I try not to be too quick to judge until I hear whole story.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 4:24:58 PM

leatherorlace

Posts: 215
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Do you really need an explanation from Me or are you just being ,,,,,,

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Exactly how is willingly taking a protection collar predatory behavior? Plenty of slaves who accept protection collars happily become owned by their protector in the future.

This particular one doesn't want it- she should end it.

Are we to eliminate everyone in the scene who has bad communication skills and makes undue assumptions?

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 4:54:19 PM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Either way I can understand your dilemma but you should know there are many "good guys" who will simply not be willing to jump through these hoops to give you peace of mind....Perhaps you feel that someone who won't meet with "this man" is hiding something....I just don't like the idea of a woman who is so incapable of recognizing what might be good for her that she would defer this judgement to someone else.

Someone who has a protector or mentor that is going to monitor my emails, chaperone dates and meetings, and generally is the person who determines the approval or disapproval of me by his sole personal opinion is the BIGGEST TURN OFF EVER!

If this person was solely in an advice type position and I was asked to meet him purely out of a comfort thing, I would have no issues, but I will not deal with a subsitute parent for a grown adult.

I was exchanging messages with such a person and I got to the point where he started wanting to trace my references in the community and I let it go.

It annoys the hell out of me on a deeply personal opinion level and I simply wont deal with this asasine level of paranoid.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 7:27:56 PM

SimplyMichael

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The thing I do like about collars of protection is that the wearers are announcing that they are completely and totally unsuited for me.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 7:35:39 PM

CrazyC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: bliss1

Why have I chosed to do it this way instead of saying fuck off and calling the police
For one I have said fuck off - he still showed up.
As for calling the cops and all the other crap - to wear the collar keeps the hassles away. I really do not want to go through all the paper work that is involved with calling the police (plus proving that he has been requested not to show up is difficult) and asking for a restaining order. Been there and the order really does not mean much unless the person harms you physically.

Okay but you still have not explained why this collar will keep you safe. IT WON'T. I'm sorry - the way I see it is if you can't stand up for yourself and take the necasaary precautions to keep yourself safe...........how can you expect anyone else to do it. Are you that incapable of making choices for yourself - about yourself? Do you honestly needs some Super Dom to look out for you?

And I'm not saying this to be mean. Listen, I have heard far to many girls here of late subscribe to this thinking. "I'm submissive - which means I'm helpless" thinking. It's not healthy.

And if it works for you then by all means good luck with that. And I know this probably sounded very mean and judgemental. Please know that i don't mean to come off like that, However, your saying someone is stalking you. So to SOLVE this, instead of calling the cops, you get a collar of protection???? WTF?

I am very much on the same page of thought, Drawn. Bliss, you can have stackers in the vanilla life, and you won't need someone to place an actual collar on you to keep them from stalking you. I am wondering how this Dom is keeping this stalker from getting to you unless he is with you every minute of the day. I guess what we are saying is....if you need this kind of protection....you need only a friend. Not someone's collar for protection.

I know, if some Dom is getting out of hand with me, there are plenty that will put him in his place, and not one of them need to place a collar on me to do it. That is why they are my friends. :)

< Message edited by CrazyC -- 5/29/2007 7:37:41 PM >

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 7:36:39 PM

mistoferin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bliss1
As for calling the cops and all the other crap - to wear the collar keeps the hassles away. I really do not want to go through all the paper work that is involved with calling the police (plus proving that he has been requested not to show up is difficult) and asking for a restaining order. Been there and the order really does not mean much unless the person harms you physically.

As you have been there and done that and found that a restraining order really doesn't mean much....you should know that a protection collar means even less and doesn't guarantee your safety any more.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 8:12:09 PM

octavia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

To me, a collar of protection is a big load of crap.

Wow....What a closed minded thing to say!!!!

I have offered The "Domiguy Collar of Protection" since 1987....And now the New and Improved 20th Year Anniversary Domiguy Collar of Protection can be yours for just three easy payments of $19.99!!!!

The Domiguy 20th Anniversary Collar of Protection will effectively shield all subs from....Any and all illnesses...From AIDS to Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome...100% protection from all computer viruses....Creepy guys just dissapear. The Domiguy Collar of Protection kills sperm immediately...No more birth control!!! ...The Domiguy Collar of Protection allows the sub to consume what she wants without counting calories and without any fear of weight gain!!!! Carrying around a few extra pounds or are just really gross and fat? The Protection Collar stimulates the body to naturally dispose of fat..and just watch the weight fall off!!...You will be amazed!!! Worried about the damaging effect of the sun?The Domiguy 20th Anniversary Collar of protection gives it's wearer a natural SPF 30 protection, while allowing the sub to acquire the perfect bronze tan!!! *Side effects were minimal.

Women why wait? For just three easy payments $19.99, The Domiguy 20th Anniversary Collar of Protection can be yours!!!! When you see the name "Domiguy" you know it's got to be good!!! Damn good!

*Do not wear collar in direct sunlight, do not swallow while wearing collar, collar must be kept at 82 degrees farenheit at all times, do not look directly at collar, Do not wear collar for more than five minutes, Never get collar wet, Do not wear collar if you have acne, never wear collar around children or expecting mothers, collar might inexplicably tighten causing death.

Really? No calories At All?!?
Where do I send my money.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 8:49:29 PM

wantitnow569

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*sigh* please tell me i am not the only one who sometimes reads these threads and then wants to go back to bed and cover up their head out of guilt and shame and horror???
So, here's the deal....One day i was having a particularly bad day, another online guy had screwed me over, my dad was dying (tons of issues surrounding that) at any given moment and i was talking to a female friend...Her roommate offered to be my gaurdian...Sounded good to me, in the beginning.... Which meant, in essence, he would "train" me to be a "good submissive" and get me ready for the right master.... Then after my dad died (and i was slowly but surely losing my mind) he offered for me to come down there to have a place to just lose it in safety...i thought that sounded like fun...What i was not really prepared for was his expectation to have sex with me....But, being the person i am, i did it....It drastically changed the dynamic of our relationship...Amazing thing is? After it ended, on a very VERY ugly note(s)....Little less than a month later here i am in a real time relationship with a man whom i believe i can trust with my whole heart and soul....And another reality: this guy is one i've been talking to for about a year and a half...
So, my experience with gaurdians or collars of protection or whatever You want to call it is this: it sounds to me like it's just a cheap easy way for a dom wannabe to get laid...i'm sorry if this offends anyone, as i'm simply sharing my experience and i could be way off.

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RE: collar of protection - 5/29/2007 9:03:23 PM

slaverosebeauty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Thats why man invented tasers, my dear.

New idea, thanks. I'm gonna get me one of those to protect me from guys when I go out, especially the top types. Ok, so who is gonna let me practice on them??!! Any takers?!

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RE: collar of protection - 5/30/2007 1:02:46 AM

Texy

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To the Op,

Sometimes on the boards, I get the impression that people forget what it is like to be new to the lifestyle, less than a year new I'm talking about.

There are some things that I could only learn in real time, around real people. At a munch, after meeting people, I found some I was comfortable with and was invited to a private party. Before the party, everyone sat around and I could ask any question I wanted. I talked to many people that night about how they found the lifestyle, why it was important to them, how they found someone to serve or someone to dominate, what to do when you play and how to play. What's a collar, is it important (yes I asked that)! what's the process of being collared, how do you negotiate, who is the right person etc.....

These are just general guides I go with as of now:

I'm learning not to play with someone until I have seen a dominant play someone else, see how they treated the submissive, was there aftercare? did they beat their chest as big bad Dom/me Kong And walk away? And I generally talk to the submissive afterwards....not immediately afterwards but sometime that night. I'm learning about different kinks, and what my kinks are. And every time I play I get to try out something new! All part of learning, YAY!

I'm learning that collars are not given lightly nor should be taken lightly, and that process usually takes at least 6 months in real time or more before that decision can be made. Can it take less time than that? Sure, but I can't be owned until I've actually meet someone in real time. Yes, I don't get the sending a few messages over a day or two and being collared on collarme. Along the same lines, I don't have a to be collared by anyone right now to be happy, but hey, I'm still newish!

I'm learning that I have to take care of myself and be responsible for myself. How can I take care of someone else and their needs or take direction from someone else if I can't even manage to take care of me?

I'm learning that people are people and not everyone clicks. I'm learning what I'm looking for in a Dominant. I learning I don't want to serve just anyone for the sake of serving, I can't. There has to be a connection and for me sense of humor and personality are paramount. Trust, openness, honesty, those qualities as well. Some Dominants online play intense, almost stoic dom/me and with me that just doesn't go far. Do I want 24/7? Sounds good, but I'm still too new right now to know. Finding out is part of the journey!

I'm learning people in this lifestyle are willing to give advice, help new people out with answering questions, giving their opinions and telling me how they live this lifestyle on a daily basis, and without any type of collar or expectation attached.

I'm learning I don't have to do anything that anyone tells me to do, or asks for me to do, online or in real time! And all things are, or can be negotiated before being collared. I'm learning a submissive is not just one big yes person! I'm also learning submission is like a blank canvas with every experience another stoke and that I'm really happy and enjoy serving someone I have a connection with. And the creation of a bond like that.. it's something I want today.

I know you didn't ask for all of that, just thought I'd share some of what I am learning. After work I'm always talkative!! I'm learning a lot on this journey and finding my peeps!

Here's to YOU finding your peeps!

Welcome to the boards! Stick around, read threads, then compare it to your real life experiences...you'll see pretty quick smart who you are down with!!!!

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