quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
Reading this forum, you would get the impression that a Domme is a nurturing, considerate and kind women who puts her submissive's health and happiness before her own.  She "takes her responsibilities" as a Domme seriously and truly treasures his gift of submission.  She never, ever does anything without his willing consent. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

This thread probably belongs in Ask a Submissive but I will pop it here because it relates to femdom relationships. 

[Please note: this thread is about sexual D/s, not service or friendship based D/s]

Reading this forum, you would get the impression that a Domme is a nurturing, considerate and kind women who puts her submissive's health and happiness before her own.  She "takes her responsibilities" as a Domme seriously and truly treasures his gift of submission.  She never, ever does anything without his willing consent. 
Well that is hardly the real norm, and will not fly with most Dominant women in the "real world".
If that is the case, who is really in charge in those situations? Can we use the term TOP here?
It really does take all kinds.

That is very nice. It sits well with mainstream social conventions that women should be "nurturing" and "unselfish".  It is - to my mind - virtually vanilla and that might be a good thing if you are trying to sustain a long term D/s relationship.

BUT

Take a look at any BDSM Femdom porn and what do we see?  Evil Mommies and Bitch Goddesses.  Deliberate merciless cruelty to men.  Imagery of cold, mocking and sadistic women strutting around their dungeons in skimpy black fetishwear, weilding instruments of torture.  Not once have I seen or read Femdom porn that included negotiation, consent or safewords.

And you know what?  I love it!!  BDSM porn is hot! 
IT is hot, I love it too. Come here you sexy wench. LOL
I bet porn is what got most of us here.  We were exposed to Femdom fantasies and it made us horny as all hell.  We might be socially abnormal (even "sick"?), but we are not alone.  Millions of us abolutely love Femdom porn.

Which leads me to my question:  WHY do we find female cruelty to men so erotic?  I am not saying we act out - or should act out - these Femdom fantasies, but why do we get our rocks off reading about women being really nasty to men?  Kidnap, imprisonment, torture, humiliation, emotional and physical abuse - we LOVE it!!!
I am starting to get moist here.

Take for example cuckolding.  The central female figure is always the same - faithless, cruel, humiliating and usually a money hungry slut as well.  Not a conventionally "nice" woman at all.  And yet, millions of malesubs (and - lets admit it - some of us Dommes) find that incredibly erotic.

You might say 'well its not real cruelty (so we are all fake?) because the malesub really wants it and he can safeword any time he likes'
Damn right, that is what safe words are for, and this is also consensual.
Yes.  And in my experience, in real life malesubs find it pretty unsatisfying having a Mistress who only does what he wants.  It doesn't match the eroticism of being forced by a Femdom to submit to her will against your own

I have my own theories why malesubs sexualise the Bitch Goddess archetype but I would like your opinion.  Why do malesubs find Femdoms sexier than conventionally "nice" ladies?  What does it for you?
It makes me smile and many submissive men and women also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

MzMia !  How lovely to see you posting here.  Thank you :)
Oh, I will always post here, when I see something worth posting too!
I agree completely.  Taking power and control over a man is dead sexy (as we say in Australia).  I don't know why everyone doesn't do it!

So I wonder why *we* (Femdoms and malesubs) find it erotic.  Were we just born like this?  Or did something happen to us along the way to make us so unconventional?
For me MsC? I like the phrase from the womb to the tomb.
I was born this way...sigh...it is such a tough job!
But damn it, someone has to do it!
Here is to all the strong, bitch Goddesses around and the many, many that love and want us!
Cheers!

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

First of all I'm surprised you chose to use Bitch and Goddess together and not Bitch Mistress or Bitch Domme. But that's another subject altogether.

Why do men like bitchy, mean, sadistic and cruel Women? Possibly because that's what it takes that stubborn male to submit.

The Goddesses and Mistresses at the Academy prefer to control men with kindness. Sometimes all it takes is to pat him on the back, gently lead him where he needs to be lead, and give him the helpful advice he's been seeking so he learns how to please a Woman.

A Woman does not need to be evil in order to be dominant and in control, and a Woman being dominant and in control is not evil.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
Reading this forum, you would get the impression that a Domme is a nurturing, considerate and kind women who puts her submissive's health and happiness before her own.  She "takes her responsibilities" as a Domme seriously and truly treasures his gift of submission.  She never, ever does anything without his willing consent. 

That is very nice. It sits well with mainstream social conventions that women should be "nurturing" and "unselfish".  It is - to my mind - virtually vanilla and that might be a good thing if you are trying to sustain a long term D/s relationship.

Forgive me if I misunderstood you, but this entire situation sounds like someone topping from the bottom.  I was under the impression that very few, if any, REAL dommes allow this to occur, especially when speaking long-term.  My former Mistress did lots of things without my consent; granted, I had a safeword in case something happened, but she rarely asked me if I wanted to do this or that.  She simply asked (or told) me politely to do it.  The only times I used the safeword were the times she forced me to use it, simply to reinforce the idea that she had no problem with my using it.  I suppose this would still mean it was within my consent, but I gave her no direction and did not manipulate her in any way.  To me, though, loving domination is amazingly sexy; the thought that she has complete power over me, yet does nothing to cause me permanent bodily harm, is very moving.  - E

BUT

Take a look at any BDSM Femdom porn and what do we see?  Evil Mommies and Bitch Goddesses.  Deliberate merciless cruelty to men.  Imagery of cold, mocking and sadistic women strutting around their dungeons in skimpy black fetishwear, weilding instruments of torture.  Not once have I seen or read Femdom porn that included negotiation, consent or safewords.

Ack.  I've seen the first five minutes or so of one of these, and I hated that woman from the get go.  Turning that one off was not like, say...watching vanilla porn and pushing STOP just as the pizza guy knocks on the door.  I never went back to it.  Was she a bitch?  Absolutely.  Was she a goddess?  Not in my opinion.  If anything she was an extortionist.  Not to mention, there was little regard as to anyone's health or well-being, as displayed in the video.  Perhaps I'm even stranger than I'd previously thought, but it's a HUGE turnoff to me, partly because it all seemed so fake.  But that's just me...   -E

And you know what?  I love it!!  BDSM porn is hot! 

I bet porn is what got most of us here.  We were exposed to Femdom fantasies and it made us horny as all hell.  We might be socially abnormal (even "sick"?), but we are not alone.  Millions of us abolutely love Femdom porn.

To an extent, I can agree.  Certain aspects of it are drop dead sexy, and I'll watch it so long as the dominant woman behaves in some sort of rational manner.  The only reason I'm not all over it is that I prefer written smut to video...again, I know, I'm weird.  -E

Which leads me to my question:  WHY do we find female cruelty to men so erotic?  I am not saying we act out - or should act out - these Femdom fantasies, but why do we get our rocks off reading about women being really nasty to men?  Kidnap, imprisonment, torture, humiliation, emotional and physical abuse - we LOVE it!!!

Take for example cuckolding.  The central female figure is always the same - faithless, cruel, humiliating and usually a money hungry slut as well.  Not a conventionally "nice" woman at all.  And yet, millions of malesubs (and - lets admit it - some of us Dommes) find that incredibly erotic.

You might say 'well its not real cruelty (so we are all fake?) because the malesub really wants it and he can safeword any time he likes'

Yes.  And in my experience, in real life malesubs find it pretty unsatisfying having a Mistress who only does what he wants.  It doesn't match the eroticism of being forced by a Femdom to submit to her will against your own

I have my own theories why malesubs sexualise the Bitch Goddess archetype but I would like your opinion.  Why do malesubs find Femdoms sexier than conventionally "nice" ladies?  What does it for you?

What does it for us?  While I can only speak for myself, none of the above.  There are always going to be bits and pieces of such things in play sessions, etc., but I would never even consider sending a woman like that a message, much less imagine myself in any sort or relatinoship with her if she behaves as such MOST of the time.  -E