quote:

Before worrying about what you don't have or want or what someone else has, consider all you do have: Are you fed, clothed, sheltered? Are provisions made for your health and safety? Those are basic needs, everything else can be worked around.

quote:

Look at yourself, and what you are doing to contribute to the relationship financially. Do you immediately spend your "allowance" on yourself, shop at the mall, and eat out frequently

quote:

Instead of spending money on your manicures, and pedicures and such

quote:

Bottom lime- ask your self what your Dom/me will see you as in 5, 10, 20 years- merely a pretty playting past their prime; or a loyal servant and partner, who has brought happiness to them? Put a bit of effort into making their life and home pleasant, instead of focusing on yourself, and the answer will be clear.

quote:

ORIGINAL: valkyriesdaughte
I gather than money and material objects seems to be a popular topic that subs bring up.

quote:

Where it came from: From the Dom blog entrys, I gather than money and material objects seems to be a popular topic that subs bring up. There was also recently a trhead dealing with one slave having "nicer" stuff than another and why, etc.

quote:

As for the comment that there is nothing wrong with a sub looking pleasing- agreed. But you don't have to break the bank to do it. I always look presentable, my children are dressed appropriately, and my home is welcoming to both my family and friends.

quote:

ORIGINAL: valkyriesdaughte


I'm not coming from the perspective of a stay at home anything- I work FT, and my have my own bank account, etc. And I'm still a tightwad! (but a tightwad with a 403b plan).

As for the comment that there is nothing wrong with a sub looking pleasing- agreed. But you don't have to break the bank to do it. I always look presentable, my children are dressed appropriately, and my home is welcoming to both my family and friends.

quote:

ORIGINAL: valkyriesdaughte

First of all - yes, this is a RANT!!!!!! But if you make it through to the end, you just might learn a thing or two. Although a relative newcomer to this world, I have 17 years of a vanilla marriage to my credit; and some things are universal.

quote:

ORIGINAL:valkyriesdaughte

Like it or not, your Dom/me has to deal with the vanilla world,

quote:

ORIGINAL:valkyriesdaughte

Look at yourself, and what you are doing to contribute to the relationship financially.

quote:

ORIGINAL:valkyriesdaughte
Instead of spending money on your manicures, and pedicures and such, buy the supplies at a discount store and do your own. Even kinky toys and clothes can be made or improvised with a little effort and very little, if any money.(The fabric/craft section at Walmart can be a treasure mine of useful things). 
 
Bottom lime- ask your self what your Dom/me will see you as in 5, 10, 20 years- merely a pretty playting past their prime; or a loyal servant and partner, who has brought happiness to them? Put a bit of effort into making their life and home pleasant, instead of focusing on yourself, and the answer will be clear.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58

LOL....Master has to order me to spend money on myself I tend to be very frugal with money.

quote:

ORIGINAL: valkyriesdaughte

First of all - yes, this is a RANT!!!!!! But if you make it through to the end, you just might learn a thing or two. Although a relative newcomer to this world, I have 17 years of a vanilla marriage to my credit; and some things are universal.

It seems that many "subs/slaves" want to play one upmanship- "My Dom/me buys me this and this and this", or "How come Daddy doesn't get me all the toys I want". First and foremost- QUIT WHINING! "Stuff" is just that- stuff. No relationship that ever survived was built on stuff. Before worrying about what you don't have or want or what someone else has, consider all you do have: Are you fed, clothed, sheltered? Are provisions made for your health and safety? Those are basic needs, everything else can be worked around.

Now on to the "stuff"-  Wants and Needs are 2 very different things, maybe you would like new appliances/furniture/cars/clothes/etc, but do you need them? If what you have is adequately servicable, quit worrying about it.

Like it or not, your Dom/me has to deal with the vanilla world, and STUFF costs money- cold hard cash. There may be a whole host of reasons your Dom/me doesn't buy you the same presents your little sub friends get, or everything you think you deserve. None of which are any of your business, unless your Dom/me chooses to share them. It wouldn't hurt you to think a little on your own though- pick up a newspaer. The economy sucks. Your Dom/me may work in a field that is insecure, and may wish to save for a possible rainy day, they may have had to change careers/jobs, and are still recovering from the financial setback. They may be paying child or spousal support from a previous relationship, or paying off the debt left after a divorce, etc. Medical bills, previous debt, student loans. The list goes on. Or they may simply be frugal, and forego immediate gratification for a long term goal- home ownership, retirement saving, childrens education, etc. It doesn't really matter. To top it off- housing, food, utilities, and transportation all have to be provided for on a regular basis. You have what you have, make the most of it.

Look at yourself, and what you are doing to contribute to the relationship financially. Do you immediately spend your "allowance" on yourself, shop at the mall, and eat out frequently? Try downscaling. Even the most humble dwelling can be made into a home, a welcoming sanctuary for your Dom/me with a little effort and creativity on your part, for very little money. Try thrift stores, Dollar stores, garage sales, and clearance racks. Be patient- you may not find everything you want at once; and you may also find interesting touches you didn't think of. Be creative. A nice table cloth ( real cloth) and a couple of pretty towels will instantly brighten any kitchen, a matching bath and hand towel in the bathroom is a nice touch, everybody likes plants, real or fake, decorative candles; an afghan from the thrift store over the sofa is nice and homey. (I bought 4 new fake greenerys in planters- for $1.99 each off the clearance shelf in the back of Meijers last week, along with a nice collection of 3 candles, and a set of votive holders filled with those colored bead rocks from the aqauarium section- the whole collection was less than $12.00. Every pair of my dress slacks came from the thrift store for $2.99 apiece, the afghans were 5 bucks apiece from the thrift store, and I have the most perfect set of embroidered sheets- on clearance for less than $20.00. Years ago, I once made a baby dresser out of 2 cardboard boxes stacked, with a piece of cloth over the top and cut up the front. Functional, and better than using the plain boxes- we were REALLY poor at the time! Neccessity is the mother of invention, be creative).
 
You could also learn to make your Dom/me tasty, yet inexpensive meals. There are many things that take only minmal cooking skills to make, and are quite good. Love is a wonderful seasoning. If you can't boil water- ask around, most people are happy to share their recipes and tips, along with shopping hints. Make friends with the stay at home Mom with several children- they are the queens of grocery sale shopping and cheap cooking.

Instead of spending money on your manicures, and pedicures and such, buy the supplies at a discount store and do your own. Even kinky toys and clothes can be made or improvised with a little effort and very little, if any money.(The fabric/craft section at Walmart can be a treasure mine of useful things).
 
Bottom lime- ask your self what your Dom/me will see you as in 5, 10, 20 years- merely a pretty playting past their prime; or a loyal servant and partner, who has brought happiness to them? Put a bit of effort into making their life and home pleasant, instead of focusing on yourself, and the answer will be clear.