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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 6:57:04 AM   
LadyHeart


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl
Not trying to pick on you...just making the point that you are making a sweeping generatlization about modern young women.


I don't  think you really read and understood my post. I said that it can work. I also said that's there's a risk that needs to be recognised. You are speaking from personal experience. So am I. I have twice had to cope with very nasty situations where older men have attended our play parties with very young women in tow, and enraged families have got involved, putting our whole group at risk. One of these young women proved to be underage, and had produced false identification. In my post I did not talk about my own opinions regarding these situations, I was speaking of the perceptions of society at large. I was speaking about maturity.

I see from your profile that you are 24. hmmmmm.....

:))
LH

< Message edited by LadyHeart -- 6/24/2007 7:00:41 AM >


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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 7:02:29 AM   
GeekyGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl
Not trying to pick on you...just making the point that you are making a sweeping generatlization about modern young women.


I don't  think you really read and understood my post. I said that it can work. I also said that's there's a risk that needs to be recognised. You are speaking from personal experience. So am I. I have twice had to cope with very nasty situations where older men have attended our play parties with very young women in tow, and enraged families have got involved, putting our whole group at risk. One of these young women proved to be underage, and had produced false identification. In my post I did not talk about my own opinions regarding these situations, I was speaking of the perceptions of society at large. I was speaking about maturity.

I see from your profile that you are 24. hmmmmm.....

:))
LH


I'm still not sure what this supposed "risk" is???

Other than being very careful to avoid fake IDs what sort of "risk" is there?



< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 6/24/2007 7:05:41 AM >


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 7:07:07 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

What is too young to be a submissive?
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young

women in their early 20's.
They are so young and impressionable, especially if they are only 18.
Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?
Let's hear it.


I honestly don't understand the need to save women from other men.  Some of the women are impressionable, some of them aren't.  But I think between the option of dealing with an inept (but equally horny) man thats 18 also, sometimes the more mature man is more appealing. 

I got started in BDSM when I was about 18, and met my owner when I was 20.  He was kinda wary given my age, but I won him over because I was more mature than most 20 year olds and had a couple of years experience under my belt to boot.  I've seen a lot of 40-something submissive women rebounding from a sexless marriage where they hadn't had an orgasm in years act like a 14 year old in heat with the level of common sense of a 5 year old.  So I'm not convinced that its the 19 year olds that really need the looking after.

C~

P.S. - its not just younger women that become submissives/slaves to older men, I've seen a lot of may/december female dominant/male submissive relationships.


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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 7:11:17 AM   
PsyVamp


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

What is too young to be a submissive?
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young

women in their early 20's.
They are so young and impressionable, especially if they are only 18.
Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?
Let's hear it.


Well, how about if the shoe is on the other foot?
I am a 40 year old Domme with a 23 year old male submissive switch.  He has been in D/s relationships since he was 17. 

I don't have daughters so it would be hard for me to envision the opposite on such a personal level.  One of my good friends is that young chronologically and although she is a top, I would not blink if she told me that she was going to change gears and be a slave to someone my age or older, as long as they were treating her "right".

If my teen decided he wanted to Dom or sub, I would just make sure to point him in the right informational direction so he could make intelligent choices.

Psy

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 7:12:56 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


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i'm a mom of 2 girls and i would instantly question the motives of any 30 and beyond guy preying on them especially when one has a known medical condition.  i know they're adults who can make their own adult decisions about their life, etc however as Mom i will always be concerned and watch out for them.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 6/24/2007 7:13:40 AM >


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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 7:26:24 AM   
LadyHeart


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirlI'm still not sure what this supposed "risk" is???

Other than being very careful to avoid fake IDs what sort of "risk" is there?


From the point of view of the Dominant, a huge risk. You are fortunate in that you have a family who understands kink. Most families regard it as shameful and frightening. They lash out looking for someone to blame. It's the sort of thing that has landed men in court. It has led to them being "exposed" by sensational media. It has led to them being outed in their communities, and then their jobs may be at risk. Many people simply cannot afford that kind of publicity. Most problems of this sort come from third parties getting involved. It's not the couple themselves, but their "concerned" families and friends who lose the plot. It happens. It's something that needs to be considered when playing with younger people. It's one of those calculated risks that needs to be assessed. Not all risks in BDSM are physical ones.
:))
LH

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 7:46:08 AM   
RaynaSub


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Great question, MzMia!
I have been online since I was a teenager.
I have been approached by many older men, many were pedophiles.
There are many old goats on here preying on young and vulnerable women.
Most of the emails I get on this website, I don't even respond to.
Do you want to see the 55 year pervert that sent me the cock pictures?

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 7:53:15 AM   
GeekyGirl


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Joined: 8/21/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirlI'm still not sure what this supposed "risk" is???

Other than being very careful to avoid fake IDs what sort of "risk" is there?


From the point of view of the Dominant, a huge risk. You are fortunate in that you have a family who understands kink. Most families regard it as shameful and frightening. They lash out looking for someone to blame. It's the sort of thing that has landed men in court. It has led to them being "exposed" by sensational media. It has led to them being outed in their communities, and then their jobs may be at risk. Many people simply cannot afford that kind of publicity. Most problems of this sort come from third parties getting involved. It's not the couple themselves, but their "concerned" families and friends who lose the plot. It happens. It's something that needs to be considered when playing with younger people. It's one of those calculated risks that needs to be assessed. Not all risks in BDSM are physical ones.
:))
LH


I understand your point, but I'm still going to disagree. What happens between consenting adults is legal (except for homosexuality and anal sex...those things are illegal in my state, but not really enforced.) So going to court doesn't really seem like an issue...

As for being exposed, I'm open about my lifestyle and wouldn't be involved with anyone who didn't feel likewise, but that is just my personal preference.

And I'm still not understanding why this has anything to do with age...meddling families and friends are around for all age groups. As my mom says, "When you're 60 and I'm 80, I'll still be Mama." Risk of exposure is just as likely from a 40yr old women' conservative family than from a young woman's family who is probably more likely to be modern minded.

I'm not saying your concerns aren't valid...just that I don't see how they are more valid with young people than with older ones. Seems about the same to me. Either one is likely to have meddling family and friends.


< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 6/24/2007 7:57:19 AM >


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 8:14:41 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

What is too young to be a submissive?
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young

women in their early 20's.
They are so young and impressionable, especially if they are only 18.
Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?
Let's hear it.


HELL... I don't want my daughters to move in with anyone..... Yes  PROTECTIVE FATHER SYNDROME HERE!!!

NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY DAUGHTERS!!!!!!



_____________________________

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 9:04:47 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
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quote:

Do you want to see the 55 year pervert that sent me the cock pictures?


Would you like to see the 20 year old pervert [sic] who sent me pussy pictures?  Did you make a wrong turn at disneychat.com and end up here?  Hate to break it to you kiddo, but just about everyone here (including you) is a pervert by the most commonly held definitions of the word.  Are you sure you want to play the ridicule game?

The site has a mail filter option.  You can set it so that mail from men outside your desired age range will get dumped directly into your bulk mail folder.  That way, you need not be troubled by all those nasty perverts chasing you around anymore. 

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 6/24/2007 9:05:23 AM >


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 9:12:42 AM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RaynaSub

Great question, MzMia!
I have been online since I was a teenager.
I have been approached by many older men, many were pedophiles.
There are many old goats on here preying on young and vulnerable women.
Most of the emails I get on this website, I don't even respond to.
Do you want to see the 55 year pervert that sent me the cock pictures?


Just an FYI..
If a man is sending sexy pics to a thirty year old.. that is not a sign of pedophilia. 
Pedophiles are interested in children, not adults and thirty is certainly adult. 
now.. if any approched you when you where say 9, that would qualify, otherwize you are misusing the word.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 9:16:38 AM   
slaveish


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~Fast Reply~

In my mind, it is about life experiences. Think of how many changes an 18-year-old goes through in a relatively short amount of time. The difference between 18 & 25 is staggering; the difference between 18 & 40 even more so.

Similarity of life space can be very important in relationship longevity. Sure, age is only a number ... but we don't get into the bigger numbers without ~living~. An 18-year-old submissive doesn't have the experiences to understand a 40-year-old Sir. He may wish he could revert (and maybe he can for a period of time) but, as a generalization, the situations don't mix well.

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 9:30:54 AM   
Faramir


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Joined: 2/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young
women in their early 20's.


Wow--how unusual.  A 40+ year old woman with a bug up her ass about men dating women younger than her.  A wonder what her stake in it is? 



_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 9:39:56 AM   
Stephann


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From: Portland, OR
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I think in reading this thread, I've seen my own opinions echoed more than a few times.

It isn't strictly about age, it's about experience.  It's not about protecting younger subs women from lecherous older men, it's about attempting to preach morality in a setting where we aren't supposed to be preaching morality.  I'm waiting to hear "a TWU Dom won't collar a girl until she's mature enough!"  The same backwards thinking assumes that keeping children from drinking alcohol until they're 21 will somehow protect them during their late teenage years.

If a woman is 19 and is repeatedly denied the opportunity to date who they wish, the grass is always greener syndrome will kick in.  If a woman isn't ready for a relationship at 19, it won't matter if it's a BDSM or D/s oriented relationship with a 50 year old, or with a bumbling 20 year old frat boy.

I will toss in one point though; a man who is in his 40s or 50s who regularly/exclusively seeks out women between 18 and 24 does bother me somewhat.  At the age of 30, I'm not usually comfortable dating a woman under the age of 24-25 because I know my own experiences are such that there is usually a serious experience gap between hers and mine.  The last woman I dated was 20 and that gap was clearly evident, and eventually resulted in us simply agreeing to be friends.  I say usually, but I will state that we're talking in generalities; I've known extremely mature 19 year olds, and extremely immature 35 year olds (and indeed dated an immature 35 year old when I was 22.)  It can definitely work both ways.

Stephan


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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 9:42:01 AM   
slaveish


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young
women in their early 20's.


Wow--how unusual.  A 40+ year old woman with a bug up her ass about men dating women younger than her.  A wonder what her stake in it is? 



I believe asking the same question with an older woman and a younger man would net the same answers. My reply would remain the same.

If I lived these 40+ years without some kind of bug up my ass, at least on occasion, I'd have led a sheltered and naive life indeed.

It appears that you have had the experience too. It's called life. ~shrug~

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 10:24:36 AM   
slaverosebeauty


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When I was 16, I saw a man who was almost 30, my mother gave concent, we didn't do anything, we just got along very well. After him, most of te men I have dated have been at LEAST 10 or 15 years older than myself. When I was about 22, I was dating a lifestyle man who was in his early 50s, his daughter was older then myself, we got along, so the age didn't matter. I do NOT want a 'daddy' so before anyone tries to jump on that boat, stop, I loathe daddy doms, at least I'm honest about it. Age is JUST A NUMBER; MJ is about 14 years older than I am right now, in less than 6 weeks, He will be 13 years older, does that matter, nope; its the peopel involved NOT the age that matters. Age gap relationships work out BETTER in the long run; they balance eachother.
 
In my early 20s I was not 'impressionable' as you say, at 19, I was a mother, a wife and by the time I turned 22, I was a single mother, divorced, worked full-time and knew who I was.
 
Besides, I would not 'move in' with any man that I was not engaged too or married too. Its not ethical, at least as far as my upbringing goes, I don't want my son to think its alright either.
 
 

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 10:33:48 AM   
octavia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

When I was 16, I saw a man who was almost 30, my mother gave concent, we didn't do anything, we just got along very well. After him, most of te men I have dated have been at LEAST 10 or 15 years older than myself. When I was about 22, I was dating a lifestyle man who was in his early 50s, his daughter was older then myself, we got along, so the age didn't matter. I do NOT want a 'daddy' so before anyone tries to jump on that boat, stop, I loathe daddy doms, at least I'm honest about it. Age is JUST A NUMBER; MJ is about 14 years older than I am right now, in less than 6 weeks, He will be 13 years older, does that matter, nope; its the peopel involved NOT the age that matters. Age gap relationships work out BETTER in the long run; they balance eachother.
 
In my early 20s I was not 'impressionable' as you say, at 19, I was a mother, a wife and by the time I turned 22, I was a single mother, divorced, worked full-time and knew who I was.
 
Besides, I would not 'move in' with any man that I was not engaged too or married too. Its not ethical, at least as far as my upbringing goes, I don't want my son to think its alright either.
 
 


Cool.  Less competition for those of us who think Daddydom's rock.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 10:51:21 AM   
Lordandmaster


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Octavia posting on the "Is she too young for you?" thread...

Who can resist that?!

Oh, shit, I just saw that she's actually older than me.  Grrr.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 11:00:44 AM   
octavia


Posts: 377
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Octavia posting on the "Is she too young for you?" thread...

Who can resist that?!

Oh, shit, I just saw that she's actually older than me.  Grrr.

WHAT THE....

edited to add:  Holy chit your right.  Now i feel like crap.  I'm older than the guy with two elepants fucking as his avatar.

< Message edited by octavia -- 6/24/2007 11:02:54 AM >

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 11:02:25 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
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My first thought in reading this thread and some of the responses is an old joke... i doubt i will quote it correctly, but it is something like this: 

Differences between men and women:

When women date younger men, we know we look stupid!

(sorry i just couldn't resist)... and remember it was a joke!!!!

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(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 40
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