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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 11:03:40 AM

Lordandmaster

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Well, look on the bright side. You look ten years younger than your age.

quote:

ORIGINAL: octavia

edited to add: Holy chit your right. Now i feel like crap. I'm older than the guy with two elepants fucking as his avatar.

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Post #: 41

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 11:12:38 AM

octavia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, look on the bright side. You look ten years younger than your age.

quote:

ORIGINAL: octavia

edited to add: Holy chit your right. Now i feel like crap. I'm older than the guy with two elepants fucking as his avatar.

Thankies!!
*Does the sexy " I look ten years younger" dance.*
Whoot!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Post #: 42

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 11:42:55 AM

mindygal

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I am really confused why age is such a huge deal. Vanilla or BDSM lifestyle, its all the same in that regards. What matters of a number, as long as both people are open and willing to be completly honest with each other, and grow together. I have met many woman that are in their thirties, that talking to them, I'd have swarn they were in their teens. Same goes for some men in fact.

Where I believe that the focus needs to lie is on the treatment, communication, and regard for the two individuals, and not classify them by the year they were born.

Well that's my two cents worth.

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Post #: 43

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 11:49:17 AM

Stephann

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Hi mindy,

I don't think anyone here's really focused on the actual number, but rather what that number usually represents in terms of maturity level and life experiences. A 19 year old college freshman living on campus isn't typically going to have a great deal in common with a 45 year old divorced stock broker with three children and a house.

Warm regards,

Stephan

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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Post #: 44

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 12:15:23 PM

bellaballanda

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Joined: 9/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
A 19 year old college freshman living on campus isn't typically going to have a great deal in common with a 45 year old divorced stock broker with three children and a house

I think this is exactly what I wanted to say.... Age can be a cognitive short cut for experience.... It's easier for our brains to say 19 and think one thing than to really anaylze all the things that come to play in experience that have nothing to do with age. So people who are young and don't "act their age" have more work to do to prove that they're mature and vice versa.

I also think it sometimes has to do with being in a similar place in life. I'm not in a point in my life where i want to have little ones, so being in a relationship with a man (no matter the age) who's reached that point in his life would be a strain on the relationship.

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Post #: 45

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 12:32:16 PM

octavia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bellaballanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
A 19 year old college freshman living on campus isn't typically going to have a great deal in common with a 45 year old divorced stock broker with three children and a house

I think this is exactly what I wanted to say.... Age can be a cognitive short cut for experience.... It's easier for our brains to say 19 and think one thing than to really anaylze all the things that come to play in experience that have nothing to do with age. So people who are young and don't "act their age" have more work to do to prove that they're mature and vice versa.

I also think it sometimes has to do with being in a similar place in life. I'm not in a point in my life where i want to have little ones, so being in a relationship with a man (no matter the age) who's reached that point in his life would be a strain on the relationship.

I think this is a great point. Age is often used as a way to quickly assess the odds that two people will be seeking the same experience.

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Post #: 46

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 1:25:49 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young
women in their early 20's.

Wow--how unusual. A 40+ year old woman with a bug up her ass about men dating women younger than her. A wonder what her stake in it is?

Look Mr. 40 year old "tough" guy, I have zero bugs up my ass.
I enjoy asking interesting questions.
So take your constant negativity and scat.
.

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"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

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"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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Post #: 47

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 1:34:01 PM

EarthGoddess52

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People from different age groups may be seeking the same experience but they might (they undoubtedly would) perceive it from different angles based on life experience, etc. This could be a good or not so good thing for the health of the relationship (I see that this has been expressed already. Oh well, just reiterating)

theEarthGoddess

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Post #: 48

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 1:39:49 PM

EarthGoddess52

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Mindygall wrote: "I have met many woman that are in their thirties, that talking to them, I'd have swarn they were in their teens."

I'm not sure this is a desirabe attribute!

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Post #: 49

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 1:48:50 PM

Faramir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
Look Mr. 40 year old "tough" guy, I have zero bugs up my ass.
I enjoy asking interesting questions.
So take your constant negativity and scat.
.

No thanks Ms. 41 year old "bitter" chick.
I enjoy asking pointed questions.
So take your unenforceable orders and stew over them,

< Message edited by Faramir -- 6/24/2007 2:18:45 PM >

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 1:53:01 PM

robertolapiedra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

What is too young to be a submissive?
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young
women in their early 20's.
They are so young and impressionable, especially if they are only 18.
Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?
Let's hear it.

Hello MzMia. I personally like women near their forties. I like younger women, older women but not in the context of a relationship, any type of relationship.

The real question is why a young eighteen year old wants to be with a 50-60...100 year old. Being 54, I resent these 50+ numbers.

In other cultures, 10-15 years difference in age difference when one is very young, is acceptable (16-18). Some cultures push it to 20 years difference without setting off the "age alarm". This is what goes on in the "majority" of cultures. I wish "youth" oriented cultures would get this: we are a minority on this planet.

Based on this, I wonder why the focus on the alleged "predation" on the "innocence" (?!!) of youth wanting a "deviant" lifestyle? If the young one is 18, and one day she wants to sub to a 38 year old, is it any better than 50? I wonder what goes on in the 12 years of difference that would make a 50 yer old more of a "threat" than when he/she was 38 and in a relationship with an 18 year old?

When you are 18, and being taken advantage by an 19 year old, it is ok? No, it is definitely not "ok". At 50? "same" thing, not worse.

I am a father, if I had a relationship with a 29 year old, would it be ok? My daughter is that age. When I'm 75, if I am in a relationship with a 50 year old, it is ok? after all, it is a quarter century difference! And it still would be with someone the same age as my oldest daughter.

Why is it in these scenarios, it always concerns the 18 year old "innocent" female submissive"? does the "18 year old domme over a 50 year old" even exist? Why does it seem so "impossible" that a 18 year old could be the one who is "taking advantage" over the 50 year old?

I find this thread maybe has six thingies going all at once.

In my humble opinion, 18 year old kinky girls are not "that innocent" in the first place. When you get older, it does not mean you are becoming predatory. When you are young, it does not mean you are a "goodie two shoes". But, when you have great age difference between the "mature" and the twenties? Automatic red flags?

"Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming the slave to a man of 50?"

No, but if she was the "domme"... well ok! (In "reality", my daughter is the dominant in her relationship, she is the boss). But, it would still be none of my business. Prejudice is prejudice, even when it is a majoritiy view that suits "me". Peer "validation" of prejudice is bull shit. It used to be sex (same sex), religion, race warranted "validation" openly. We still have to work on "age", I find. I mean "work"!

Is anyone here "really" looking for a "social convention" concerning legal age difference? In this lifestyle? Seems a bit "vanilla" to me. Just an opinion. RL.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 3:00:22 PM

naomifai

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I'm a 20 year old submissive, and every relationship I've been in since I was 15 has had BDSM elements and been with men 7 - 20 years older than me. Personally, it fucked me up, destroyed my self-confidence, and drove away most of my friends who were my age. If I ever have a daughter, I wouldn't let her make the same mistakes. For me, it was not ok to get involved with older, established men when my life was still uncharted and my interests were amorphous - it forced me down a path that I wouldn't necessarily have chosen for myself. Just my 2 cents.

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Post #: 52

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 3:14:42 PM

robertolapiedra

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Hello naomifai. Sorry for your bad luck. You started dating men of 22+ when you were 15. You learn and "change" a lot in those 3 years between 15-18. Did someone intervene at that moment? At least a friend? RL

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Post #: 53

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 3:36:47 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I have always been a submissive. I'd have saved myself a lot of pain and anquish if, at the age of 22, I had become owned rather than gotten married to the man I did. Had I been directed early in life (I was in search of that and without knowing I was "a submissive" I ended up with domineering bullies), I'd have been a lot happier.

Edited to clarify - the dominant's intention is everything here. I would agree that to solely acquire a cute young trophy sub can be dangerous. I didn't intend to negate your concern with my post.

But would you have had the wisdom to pick a good owner any better than you did a good husband?

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Post #: 54

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 3:47:22 PM

Stephann

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naomifai,

What makes you believe you'll have more authority over your daughter's choice in men than your own mother did over yours?

Regards,

Stephan

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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Post #: 55

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 4:01:05 PM

naomifai

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quote:

You started dating men of 22+ when you were 15. You learn and "change" a lot in those 3 years between 15-18.

I think the legal line at 18 is pretty arbitrary. It's not like you hit some magic age and all of a sudden you're all grown up, ya know? For me, it was problematic to still be navigating school/college and family drama and be in a relationship with a strong power dynamic with man who's all set up in life. It's one thing to have consensual power exchange at home between people who'd be more or less equal outside, but it becomes something else entirely when there's already gaping disparity in the power dynamic due to social factors. It brings the whole consent thing into question, you know? Like to what extent are you actually consenting vs. internalizing the baggage of the society you're in (ie. when one person is unable to support themselves outside of the relationship and the other is, when one person's been uprooted from their support network due to an age-inappropriate relationship, in addition to any issues of sexism, racism, and classism that might be bearing down on the relationship as well)

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 4:04:18 PM

naomifai

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quote:

What makes you believe you'll have more authority over your daughter's choice in men than your own mother did over yours?

No one intervened in any of my relationships - my parents fully supported them. At the very least, you could express disapproval, and if necessary show her the door while letting her know she's welcome whenever she's ended it.

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Post #: 57

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 5:07:41 PM

meticulousgirl

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OMFG here we go again

Ok i'm 22 and honestly really starting to get sick of these threads popping up out of nowhere.

i am a 24/7 slave, i am dead serious about what i do, and it's not just about the sex. Maybe i'm one of the few i really dont know but to be honest if i'm not serving, i'm not happy. I could care less about sex and can prove it easily. Like i said i'm 24/7, you all want proof that it's not about sex. i haven't had sex since the beginning of february. For me this lifestyle is about the mental and physical aspects sure i get off on some of it, who doesn't but there are things that i engage in too that i absolutely hate, that i just do to please the one that i am with, i dont make sex everything about my lifestyle it doesn't matter who i'm sharing it with, that will always be the case. In any matter though, these threads about ages, and age differences are getting really old, there's on average about one a week posted from someone new (not a newbie just a different user)

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 5:11:26 PM

frazzle40

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Age is a number, often has no indication of maturity or anything else. I know 60 year olds that have the mental out look of a 15 year old and 20 year olds with outlook of 105.

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Post #: 59

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/24/2007 5:43:49 PM

Masterofyoutoo

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Naomifai, i hate to say it but your parents should be in jail a long with those guys you dated during the time between ages of 15 and 18. Those guys were quite simply pedophiles that preyed on your submissive and naive nature and used thier social and financial status as a way to slowly rape you of your innocence. The really bad part about this is that your parents, the people who should have protected you, knowningly allowed this situation. It's a sad thing when parents are too lazy or self involved to take the necessary action to protect thier children.

Problem with using age as a determining factor of when someone is "legal" or ready to become involved in any type of sexual relationship wether it is vanilla or not, is simply because it does not take into account the persons maturity and mental and emotional status. People grow up at different paces, while yes some are ready at 18 there are others that are not ready till thier 30 or even later.

A lot of it actually has to do with what society teaches little girls as they are growing up. We tend to foster them with the notion that the world is this perfect place, and that life will be nothing but peaches and cream, and that when the perfect guy comes along they will just know it and the guy will magically know the right things to do and say. And that the world will be this perfect place and they will live this fairy tale life.

We take it even further and tell them they are not supposed to have sex until they are married, and that having and wanting sex is just wrong. So then when thier sex drive kicks in at a very young age they are left with no way to fill that need other then running out and finding a man, and then trying to build some sort of long term relationship with him, before they even know what they really want or even really knowing the guy they are getting involved with. Personally i think every mother out there should take thier young daughters, sit them down and explain to them that they can give themselves an orgasm and perhaps a bit of instruction. Being a guy i never understood how it is possible that a woman can reach 30+ years old without having an orgasm or knowing that they can give themselves one, as most guys figure this out the first time they try to climb a pole and it starts feeling good.

God i have gotten off on a bit of a rant, I'm sorry for that Naomifai, it's just that your post reflect a lot of what my wife/slave went through growing up.

The question of age comes down to intention. We all like what we like, and while societies public view on sexual desires make what a lot of us do out to be wrong and taboo, it's quite simply not. The only real issue is weather or not someone is mentally and emotionally mature enough to be capable of making the choice to enter into whatever type of lifestyle they choose. If the older man's intent is nothing more then to satisfy his own desires and force them onto some young naive girl that has no clue what the nature of her own desires are, then yea it's wrong. However, if the older man has taken the time to get to really know the younger woman and find out weather the woman truely desires what his intentions are, and that she isn't just complying to his desires because she thinks that is what he wants or because she has no other choice then it's wrong. In other words it has to be two people fully understanding and consenting to what is going to take place, and that goes for both our world and the vanilla world.

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