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RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/1/2007 8:50:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Nope, I just tend to shop early. And I can relate, I have a feeling in many cases I'd be eyeing some kid while holding a shotgun.

Well.. damn it better come soon..... Just this morning my eldest asked if she could go watch this boy play soccer and then go back to his house till this evening and then go watch another game tonight............... besides the heart missing a beat... I think I lost some hair too.............. Damn.... I am not ready for this!!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Padriag)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/1/2007 8:57:16 AM

daniL

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As someone who is recently 21 [and i admit to skimming some of this thread], i think the issue with the ages between 18-21, even up to 23, is that while some people are legally adults and mature enough to deal with what that means at that age, a lot of people aren't. It depends on the family, and their enviroment. Now, some people might say that's true about any age, but I would point out that for that age group its even more true. Many people at this age may be in college but still treat it as if they are back in high school [something that I see often]. These are people, in college and not in college, who are just figuring out what it means to be an adult. Turning 18 or 21 doesn't necessarily make a person instantly ready to deal with the rest of the world-- nowadays, a lot of people are still dependent on their parents then. Male or female, I think it can sometimes border on absurd expecting complete maturity from a group of people from whom their levels of maturity varies greatly from person to person and situation to situation, even more so than most human beings. That is my problem with older [40+] people dealing with very young [18-22] S.O., bdsm or no. I think its possible for these relationships to work, but the older person tends to automatically expect to deal with situations with a level of maturity that the younger person may not have [and they should expect that maturity from their S.O.s]. And then there are those that don't want that sort of maturity from their S.Os, either because they can't handle it or any other number of reasons, but I'm assuming the best here...

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/1/2007 9:55:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?
Let's hear it.

The idea of either of my daughters (26 & 21) becoming the slave of a man of any age is just hysterically funny!! Not going to happen with either one of them. They aren't wired that way at all.

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/1/2007 10:36:34 AM

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i have a very personal reaction to this topic because i am a 26 year old woman/submissive married to my 46 year old Dominant Husband. We have been married for two years, but together for four...which i realize is not that long. However, We are happy, content, and have had very little issues with the age. Both of our families are supportive, espcially his family. Mine took time to get to know Him before making any judgements, and have come to love and respect Him as well as our relationship. All of our close friends know, and We are never embarrased to admit the age difference. I am a professional in the field of education and have never felt like my Husband is anything but loving, supportive, and caring for me.

Although sometimes we have fun with it. Once we were car shopping...and i was getting excited because it my first "new" car...and the car sales guy said something to the effect of "Your daughter seems to like so and so type of car..." We just smiled at each other and later when we were signing papers, i planted a big kiss on "Daddy."

I relaize that this type of relationship is not for everyone, but My Dominant and i are very happy!

Thanks for listening,

baby girl

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/1/2007 10:43:00 AM

ready4srvce4all

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I don't have any daughters, so I can't speak in the hypothetical as far as what I "believe" I would do. As far as age differences, I am of the mind that as long as everyone is of legal age, they are free to explore and engage in what they feel they need to. It would be great if everyone and every experience in life were positive, but that just isn't the case. As hard as it may be for some parents to accept, your UM's are going to do exactly what you did in life...search for their own answers. And, like it or not, the people they go looking to for those answers may not always meet your ideals. As long as they are being treated with respect, age/race/gender/ shouldn't matter. Because it's THEIR time to decide. You did your job...let them go, but just be there when they need you.

And if I came across like the typical guy that never raised a rugrat, it's simply just my opinion, and I'm certainly not judging anyone's thoughts on the matter, just my two cents worth.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/1/2007 11:49:13 AM

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You are correct, it is their time to explore who they are. If people knew my UMs they'd understand my laughter. Both of them are dominant for one thing.

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/1/2007 10:38:10 PM

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quote:

My experience has been that a woman having her first experience of slavery is no less impressionable at 38. A first impressions hit hard, regardless of age. A young woman of 18 is most certainly impressionable. The quality and character of her master, or boyfriend for that matter, regardless of his age, will probably shape those impressions more than how old he is.

I definitely agree. I am only 19 years old, and I am certainly impressionable. However, I am grown enough to know my own mind, and to make my own decisions with the information presented to me. Sure, this skill may increase as I age...but as long as I am the same person, I will quite possibly make the same decisions in the same situations at 50 that I do now. I make good decisions...I think things through rationally and calmly. A young age does not necessarily equal stupidity...I have not done many of the "stupid" things that I hear people talk about doing when they were young. My goal is to go through life happily, and to make the best decisions that result in the fewest mental and emotional injuries as possible.

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/3/2007 4:16:52 AM

MasterScotsWill

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Joined: 7/2/2007
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As father I was worried when my daughter started going out with a man 3 years my junior but they have been happy together. It depends on both parties to make it work regardless of the age difference. A mature man can teach and nature a girl as the girl can teach the man.

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/3/2007 4:36:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
It is my belief that people that age need to concentrate on their schooling or some type of job/career advancement. They need to establish themselves as independant, self-sufficient human beings.

Need? Who made you the absolute arbiter of what another, whom you have no idea of who they are or their psychological make-up works, needs?

I quite agree someone of a young age would be well advised to get a good education... What way does a girl psychologicaly hardwired as a slave, with a slaves need for control and structure, best get that?

On their own, struggling against that unfullfilled need? Or if they are lucky enough to find a Master who fullfills that control and structure. Who expects her to achieve good results that He will be proud of. Who will monitor her work assigning additional study time where needed. she isn't wasting her time always trying to please her friends by hanging in the bar with them, but rather pleasing her Master by ensuring all her work is finished and upto standard before being permitted to hang with those friends.

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to marieToo)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/3/2007 5:10:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Personally, other than their nice little bodies, few young women hold much interest for me, never quite understood the attraction to having a long term relationship with them.

Hello SimplyMichael. Me neither! hell, they're just starting to be real interesting when they hit forty! Also being "younger" does not automatically equate to having a tight killer body, and you can cancel the "superior dirty mind" for most of that set.

Anyway, I find that keeping to the "lovely savvy forties" practically cuts my "explaining time" to nil. Ok, I'm lazy. RL.

PS: For those who do not know me, I have an "40 year old age kink". Other age groups are just as good, bla, bla, bla, and please, just tell me where I pay the fine.

Yet another reason to adore BDSM men.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/3/2007 5:22:46 AM

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I totally agree that maturity and age don't always go together. And that some younger people find long-term and fulfilling relationships with much older ones.

I also agree that it makes sense to learn the ropes from someone whose experienced in all this and knows what they're doing.

And that it's really nobody's business but those two involved.

So many people have made great points here about how fulfilling and supportive it can be to have a relationship with someone much older. It's all perfectly true.

All that being said, if some fify-year-old took up with a teenager in my family, I'd castrate him with a blunk fork.

Intellect is one thing, emotion is another one entirely.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/3/2007 3:22:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion
It is not crap that older means more knowledge, in [the majority of] cases. most 5 year olds know more than 2 year olds, most 10 year olds know more than 5 year olds, most 20 year olds potentially know more than said 10 year olds, and on and on and on.

Bravo, bravo... well said! What you've said is true the majority of the time.

I was recently amused to learn that a 20 y/o "new to the lifestyle" sub (in our local club) was looking for a 21 y/o experienced Dom to "teach her the ways." In My mind, the two requirements conflict... either you want experience (which generally comes with practice and age) or you want inexperience and youth. It's okay to make a trade-off between the two, once you understand the statistical improbability of your position.

While I agree that maturity and age do not always go together - they do the majority of the time. Likewise, immaturity and youth often do go together - the majority of the time. Not being someone who wants to gamble with relationships, I know the odds of finding a mature partner increase with age, while the odds of finding an immature partner increase with youth. Yes... I can spend My time trying to find those small exceptions, or I can go with the assumption that yields the greatest chance of being right.

< Message edited by Lewcifer -- 7/3/2007 3:27:45 PM >

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/3/2007 10:58:09 PM

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From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
It is my belief that people that age need to concentrate on their schooling or some type of job/career advancement. They need to establish themselves as independant, self-sufficient human beings.

quote:

Raven Muse:

Need? Who made you the absolute arbiter of what another, whom you have no idea of who they are or their psychological make-up works, needs?

Who made you absolute arbiter of what another should believe about what teenagers need?

I have a teenaged daughter. The OP asked if those with daughters would be ok with them entering into slavery at the age of 18. Goodness I hope it doesnt offend your sensibilities that I answered the ops' question then explained how I feel children that age should be getting self-suffiencient, AFTER clearly stating that the comment was merely "my belief".

quote:

I quite agree someone of a young age would be well advised to get a good education...

You are now actually agreeing with the exact same thing I said. I guess that makes you an arbitor of what people of a young age would need too.

quote:

What way does a girl psychologicaly hardwired as a slave, with a slaves need for control and structure, best get that?

Obviously that would depend on the individual. Apparently your read words in my post that weren't there. Try actually reading it at face value, instead of reading INTO it. At no point did I say that no 18 yr old should enter slavery. I said I wouldn't want MINE to do so. Then I went on to say that people that age should concentrate on getting independant by gaining education etc so that they can make informed choices. And you agreed.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 7/3/2007 11:03:47 PM >

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/5/2007 7:18:58 AM

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My sub is 31 yrs my junior at 22 and she insists I take advantage of her

As for being a dirty old man, this appeals greatly to her

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ESINEM - The Art of Erotic Bondage

The London Festival of Art of Japanese Bondage: 2-5 April, 2010

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/5/2007 7:32:14 AM

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Personally, I feel that this "great debate" is full of shit as well as those that need to pontificate about it. It's nobodies business what two legal adults do. Including the families. Would I want my daughter with an older man, probably not. But if she's out of my house, all I can do is catch her if she falls and consol her if she cries. Other then that, she'll make her own way in life as she sees fit. Like any parent that has taken off the training wheels, at some point I have to let go of the seat and hope for the best for her.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Esinem)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 7/5/2007 8:45:33 AM

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Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lewcifer

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion
It is not crap that older means more knowledge, in [the majority of] cases. most 5 year olds know more than 2 year olds, most 10 year olds know more than 5 year olds, most 20 year olds potentially know more than said 10 year olds, and on and on and on.

Bravo, bravo... well said! What you've said is true the majority of the time.

I was recently amused to learn that a 20 y/o "new to the lifestyle" sub (in our local club) was looking for a 21 y/o experienced Dom to "teach her the ways." In My mind, the two requirements conflict... either you want experience (which generally comes with practice and age) or you want inexperience and youth. It's okay to make a trade-off between the two, once you understand the statistical improbability of your position.

While I agree that maturity and age do not always go together - they do the majority of the time. Likewise, immaturity and youth often do go together - the majority of the time. Not being someone who wants to gamble with relationships, I know the odds of finding a mature partner increase with age, while the odds of finding an immature partner increase with youth. Yes... I can spend My time trying to find those small exceptions, or I can go with the assumption that yields the greatest chance of being right.

quote:

Lewcifer

Well stated, Lewcifer, and I agree. The fishing pond is small enough as it is, for all of us who are fishing in it.

Travelino.

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~~"When the student is ready, the Master will appear."~~

(in reply to Lewcifer)

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