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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/27/2007 1:40:36 PM

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Just had to chime in with a funny related to this topic. My exhusband, 25 years my senior, so he is now 64 or so, brought his girlfriend to meet me a couple of years after we were divorced, she was turning 21 that week. I think the statement of "still young enough to believe the lies" fits perfect. And come to find out later, she was very confused sexually, and could not decide if she was straight or not, and I found this situation very amuzing, and it has provided me with miles of humor material.

As to the question, as a parent my answer would be heck no i would not want my 18 year old daughter with a 50 year old man. As the slave that I am now, I can understand the warmth and comfort a great Master can provide, as well as direction and purpose. Either way, she should get a great education. The education of life lasts forever.

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/27/2007 2:47:58 PM

FelinePersuasion

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It is not crap that older means more knowledge, in most cases. most 5 year olds know more than 2 year olds, most 10 year olds know more than 5 year olds, most 20 year olds potentially know more than said 10 year olds, and on and on and on.

The older we get the more we should learn and the more knowledge we have. most times. I was 19 when I met my first online dominant who was 26, he never took advantage of me not once, and I have a long history of dating older men, all most all my partners have been at least 3 years, if not tons more older than me. my current Dominant is 35, and I am 24, I was 23 when I met him, and he is far from taking advantage of me. quite the opisit. he wants to help me further my education, help me over come my learning difficulties, help me learn to stand on my own two feet when it comes to means of transportation, IE a car, or learning the buss, or getting about town alone, and tons of other things/

Not to say that no older man, or woman, is not, and never would be taking advantage of some, there are those. but you're statement that older means more knowledge is crap isn't nessisarily true. All the older men and women I have met personally, did indeed have more knowledge than I myself did or do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: countrygirl69

some will say well older has more knowledge thats crap under 25 is just taking advantage just my opinion

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/27/2007 2:52:51 PM

FelinePersuasion

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My dominant is 35, and his brother and sister in law still try to take an active part in his life. Granted, he is diagnosed as chronically depressed, and has been since 11, and so they feel they are helping him, by what I feel is butting in and not minding their own business, And they feel a gf is a waste of time and money for someone like James, and that he should focus every last minute of his time on work, and not a gf or pleasure. So it's not always younguns that come with families lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

The problem with a very young woman/older man combo in BDSM is that very young women tend to come equipped with families who take an active interest in their lives. LH

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/27/2007 3:22:06 PM

MzMia

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I have to politely disagree with you on this one.
Some people are indeed wiser with age, and some people are still the same
idiots and jack asses they were when they were younger.
I know of many older adults I admire and respect, and I know of many older
adults that don't seem to have matured beyond the age of 9.

One of the finest people that I have ever met is a family member who is currently an UM.
He is one of the kindest, compassionate and good natured human beings I have ever met.
His spirit has always shined.

I have found that many people often do not change that much as they grow older.
I think I read that most of your personality is set before the age of 12.
**I have to add that normally most women tend to mature earlier than men, many men don't have a clue
prior to 35-40.**
There really is no fool like an old fool.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/27/2007 3:35:45 PM >

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(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/28/2007 2:27:53 PM

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From: Atlanta GA
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I have a dughter. I would want her to be happy and safe as she goes through life.

I am in my 30's and currently I am devloping a relationship with a 20 yr old. She has been through a lot and for now its more mental then anything. Wheather she ends up collared to me or someone else doesnt matter. I feel an obligation to teach her what I know so she can make safe choices.

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Before One can Master others they must first Master themselves.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/28/2007 6:56:15 PM

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I have only two cents left tonight and here they are..............even reading through the threads here I still see alot of the vanilla society showing up. Age is and has been a taboo since forever and most stems around younger women. We (society) seems to have a need to protect the women and make ridiculus assumptons based on their wants. There are risks in every relationship, if two people can have the same idealisms and know in their hearts that it is worth the risk, then by all means go for it. When are people in general going to start to take care of their own and leave others to theirs? Stop sticking ones nose others relationships, please find something more constructive to do.

FYI..... I have looked on this site for a long time to find the one that fits my needs as well as hers. I am very selective. Yes, to your questions....I am 45 and have a collared sub that is 20. Age is not the important thing here. It is how we treat each other on a daily basis and how we feel about or decision that matters. I feel very fortunate to have found her.

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/29/2007 3:11:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

What is too young to be a submissive?
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young
women in their early 20's.
They are so young and impressionable, especially if they are only 18.
Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?
Let's hear it.

i'm nearly 27, and i have zero interest in a Dom or Domme twice my age...what on earth outside of the bedroom could we have in common? i'm realistic enough to know i'm too immature, and it bothers me when i get messages from almost always Doms, day in, day out, who think they're special enough to ignore my request that i meet someone around my own age.

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/29/2007 3:14:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littledove00
i'm nearly 27, and i have zero interest in a Dom or Domme twice my age...what on earth outside of the bedroom could we have in common?

Well with mine, we both love Firefly, movies, pop culture, foot worship, going out to dinner, we have similar tastes in music and concerts, not to mention a mutual adoration for Coldstone Creamery.

Granted, he isn't twice my age, only 16 years older.

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(in reply to littledove00)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/29/2007 3:16:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: littledove00
i'm nearly 27, and i have zero interest in a Dom or Domme twice my age...what on earth outside of the bedroom could we have in common?

Well with mine, we both love Firefly, movies, pop culture, foot worship, going out to dinner, we have similar tastes in music and concerts, not to mention a mutual adoration for Coldstone Creamery.

Granted, he isn't twice my age, only 16 years older.

lucky you.

didja miss the part where i mentioned my immaturity? i wasn't speaking for anyone but myself.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/29/2007 5:51:51 PM

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i'm nearly 44. Sir is 53. he treats me a hella lot better than my husband, who is 35 and a self admitted asshole.

my daughter (who goes by the nickname satan) is 24....and more Domme than not. she was dating a guy who was 38 for a while...nice enough but not up to her speed. she recently stopped seeing a 36 yr old guy who wanted monogamy.

i trust her judgement on her suitors better than i do my own judgement on my own partners.

kitten, who has a less than mother-daughter relationship with her bratling.

(in reply to littledove00)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/29/2007 6:20:59 PM

Sub03

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I am 22 and in a 24/7 M/s realationship with someone that is 55. Huge age difference but we get along so perfectly. We have been together as Master/slave a little over a year now and have known each other for over 2 years. As far as being impressionable I have been researching and involved in D/s since I was 18 so though im not even close to knowing everything I know enough to know what I want and dont want. And we have enough communication in our relationship to talk about things we both want. As far as why I am with someone so much older, I get along better with someone that is more mature and has their life more together then someone my own age. He has met my family and they all like him, though they dont know about the real relationship.

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(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/29/2007 11:15:01 PM

Arpig

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Why would a 40+ man be taking advantage of a 20-something woman while a 20-something man doing the same thing wouldn't be.....smacks of double-standard to me

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(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 6:31:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

What is too young to be a submissive?

Mental and emotional maturity will vary but what counts here is the law of the land, age of 18 years.

I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young women in their early 20's.

No surprises there, this is a common marriage pattern in many cultures.
One aspect is the that an older man is more likely to be stable economically.
Another aspect is pure biology, many men can still reproduce after the age of 60 but the majority of women cannot.

They are so young and impressionable, especially if they are only 18.

Some are and some are not; the individual levels of maturity vary from person to person.

Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?

What I want would not matter if she is of sound mind and a legal adult.

Let's hear it.

Simply Michael makes a very good point about whether the older Dom is being honest or manipulative with the younger submissive woman. That is what concerns me the most,
but inevitably, experience is the best teacher.

I will add that my own age range is from 21 - 60 for a submissive, my primary is 26 and my secondary is 47.

(They need to be 21, of legal drinking age, so we can go listen to live music in the
pubs and clubs.)

_____________________________

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
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(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 9:10:15 AM

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I guess in the end it is the fact that there is a guy for every gal saga....

The fact is we are a small percentage of the population and how we view things would be fair gone to those that think seperately.....

Are we wrong or they right? Hell we know it isn't that simple and so long as the end result is positive why should we judge anyone that we don't understand, more times than not our judgement is not of that situation as it is, but rather on how it effects our personal values and desires, our own egos or worldly postition.

But hey, that's just one man's opinion.

Live well,

Bull

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Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

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RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 4:30:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

HELL... I don't want my daughters to move in with anyone..... Yes PROTECTIVE FATHER SYNDROME HERE!!!

NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY DAUGHTERS!!!!!!

Heh, I'm buying both you and Gene Simmons cattle prods for Xmas.... course I'm guessing you'll find more uses for it...

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 4:36:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Heh, I'm buying both you and Gene Simmons cattle prods for Xmas.... course I'm guessing you'll find more uses for it...

LOL.... damn is it Christmas yet?

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Padriag)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 4:59:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?

No.

It is my belief that people that age need to concentrate on their schooling or some type of job/career advancement. They need to establish themselves as independant, self-sufficient human beings.

Knowing that one can take care of oneself, by oneself, is an invaluable security that gives a person the life-long ability to make relationship decisions based on his/her desires, rather than on dependency, need or desperation.

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marie.

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(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 5:03:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

What is too young to be a submissive?
I wonder about men in their 40's/50's/60's taking up with these tender young
women in their early 20's.
They are so young and impressionable, especially if they are only 18.
Would you want your daughter 19, moving in and becoming a slave to a man of 50?
Let's hear it.

Like others, I consider under legal age to be too young. For me that means under the age of 18. My personal preference is that they generally be somewhere between mid twenties to mid thirties. But there are exceptions. There's a 20 year old on this site I'm rather fond of, chiefly for her mind and character... course the fact she's rather pretty doesn't hurt either. I've met a few women my own age that I was attracted to as well, and one or two that were older. But in general, 25ish to 35ish seems to be the trend for me personally... but that only applies to me. Everyone is different and finds different connections.

Not all those young women are tender. I've seen a lot in my time and I've seen some young women who were as hard bitten, jaded and tough as they come... they'd had hard lives. I've seen women in their 30's and 40's (and older) who were very naive... I believe its more important to look at the individual than the age.

Like some others, I'd want my daughter (if I had one, and if things work out perhaps I may yet) to find someone who would be good to her, love her, protect her, build her up and help her to continue to grow and flourish as a person. I'd want him to be a good person, and I'd judge him chiefly by that standard. His age would only matter if it would be an issue in extreme cases...like 80 and 18... "hun, you know he could die in a few years, are you prepared to deal with that?"

As others have pointed out, sometimes they're using each other. Sometimes its the older guy getting used. Being young does not equate innocent, there are some 18 yr old vipers out there, just as there are some 50 yr old lounge lizards. There are also people just looking for a connection.

Historically, relationships between older men and younger women have been very common. Its only been in the last 100 years in western civilization that marriages / relationships between men & women of similar age became commonplace. As others have pointed out, older can mean economic stability and advantages, emotional maturity and stability, experience, etc. It might be a curious question to ponder as to whether or not the more recent (historically speaking) trend of similar ages in relationships isn't an unhealthy abberation.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to MzMia)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 5:07:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Heh, I'm buying both you and Gene Simmons cattle prods for Xmas.... course I'm guessing you'll find more uses for it...

LOL.... damn is it Christmas yet?

Nope, I just tend to shop early. And I can relate, I have a feeling in many cases I'd be eyeing some kid while holding a shotgun.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Is she too young for you? - 6/30/2007 6:07:35 PM

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I don't think it's so much the AGE that matters but the experience that comes with it. Not just experience in the lifestyle, but general life experiences. Some people who are 18 are very mature for their age and have experienced a lot of life, while there can be women in their late 20's who still have yet to grow to enough of a mature state of mind to handle a relationship as extreme, intense, and intimate as those of the BDSM lifestyle.

Just my two cents.
Stella

(in reply to MzMia)

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