Phew! I think what irked me most in what Lotus Song said was her statement that switches do it "only for their amusement". That is SO not me! But then, I don't call myself a switch now, but a Duality ... I am best living both sides of my persona simultaneously. And if current negotiations come to fruition, that may be 24/7 with both Master and My sub sometime in the future. I don't flip-flop back and forth, it just isn't my nature to do so, both responses ... "yes Master" and "please fetch this slave" just flow naturally from me in the same breath without a sense of flip-flopping. And while Master and I did originally start out the other way around, that was situational and once we switched ... it's set now, He Master, me slave! But I do respect the switches who are able to do more whole scale changes and with the same person.
As far as needs not being met ... well, for one thing, it's a rare partnership where ALL the needs of both partners are met by the other. Secondly, Master meets most of the needs of violet (my sub persona) ... no, He's not totally perfect, He's human, so i can't say all. My sub should meet most of the needs of Jay (My Domme persona). Living with both should then make me one very happy person! I don't think Master has the ego that demands that He should meet all the needs of all of me ... He's quite happy knowing that He's gonna get some help! And because He's a contented person in His own right He is not so insecure as to demand all of my time and attention ... He can share with My sub, knowing that He will get priority as that is what the sub agrees to when joining U/us. Obviously I need a sub who is content to be "third" and who is also capable of getting on with things without My constant attention ... I am deliberately seeking one with an appropriate level of self-sufficiency.
In My experience (and I've had previous subs while i've been with Master) ... they have not had a problem seeing me sub to Him. They've mostly been male subs ... and their reaction has usually been "shock and awe" ... when i've taken >100 strokes from Master's large hand ... and they were saying "orange" at 50 from My little paddle! They've appreciated seeing that i can take more than what I dish out ... and that i can obey as well as command their obedience ... if anything, respect has increased, not decreased. I'm not expecting this experience to be any different with My potential sub, though as a lesbian female, the dynamic will be new to Me (I am a closet bi LOL!). she is actively looking forward to seeing how i serve Master so that she learns from example as well as instruction in terms of serving Me. It might help that neither Master nor I are into humiliation play, so she won't be witnessing me grovelling or begging, that's just not a turn-on for Us. (No offence to those for whom it IS a turn-on btw, enjoy it if it's your thing!).
The take-home message is please don't judge all switches as the same ... there's a lot of diversity in this "group". And while I respect that we may not be everyone's cup of tea, coffee or hot chocolate ... I'm used to that, being a BBW ;-) ... please try to avoid making sweeping generalizations about our motivations, our needs, our ways of exercising our switch etc etc! If you must take that tack, wording it as "all the switches I've encountered in My area seem to have been into it for their own amusement etc etc" ... that's a whole lot less offensive!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
< Message edited by MaamJay -- 7/6/2007 3:25:00 AM >
Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)