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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 11:24:18 AM

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FR~

This is kind of an offshoot but I am wondering if any of the Dominants have ever offered a reward or privilege and had two submissives fight it out for it. There was a girl who lived with us for a while and she and I used to really enjoy that type of play....and my ex really enjoyed watching the cat fight.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 7/4/2007 11:26:53 AM >

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 12:21:22 PM

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I wouldn't enjoy that, but I think I was the victim of too much hazing and queen bee shit in poly relationships and growing up.

Fighting for fun, yes. Fighting for a serious accomplishment, not for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 12:45:42 PM

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No, no...it was never for a serious accomplishment in our case. LOL...we enjoyed it and an example might have been..."OK, there's only one chocolate chip cookie left...you girls battle it out and see who gets it!" I too, would be really put off by it if there were something serious at stake.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 12:52:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
"OK, there's only one chocolate chip cookie left...you girls battle it out and see who gets it!"

I can just picture Alandra and I in that situation...

A - Do you want the cookie?
K - Do you want it??
A - Only if you don't want it
K - Well, I don't want it so you take it...
A - Are you sure? Because I could eat something else...

And on and on it would go until he would say "I'll eat the damn cookie myself!!"

LOL

I can't picture Alandra and I fighting over something even in play *g*

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 1:01:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir
The answer to "when does punching your sub/slave in the stomach or anywhere become an acceptable BDSM past time?" is "Whenever those two consesnting adults choose to."

Amen to that. What I don't understand, is why do so many who were willing to flip the bird to convertional social acceptabilityon the outside of BDSM culture are so keen on recreating the same judgementalism on the inside of it? I share a few similar views with you, along with a martial arts background, etc etc, but what I have to say is beyond my own beliefs a bit even. In the SF area, we have a female educator who teaches at BDSM events regularly. She pointed out that the BDSM subculture is incredibly judgemental about itsself, and that it needs to be more accepting. It might have been her who coined the phrase "Dead bottom, bad bondage", so I would hardly call her careless. I know in the past I was afraid to slap in an erotic or disciplinary context, but I met someone who wanted it and showed me how. It makes me feel funny as a dominant to be shown it's ok to do somthing to a submissive, and upon overcoming my fear, realize it's ok. Of course you've still gotta not cup the ear, but in retrospect my fear seems like it was a bit much at the time.

Bio: 'Author of "The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage", "Master Han's Daughter" and "Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink", educator and columnist on adventurous sexuality, Midori travels the world presenting to universities, groups and media. She's known for her humanistic, humorous and warm classes that help people to spice up their sex lives while taking a journey of self discovery and personal growth. Her weekend intensives called "Women's Sensual Dominance Weekend Intensive" and "Rope Bondage Dojo (tm)" have been sell-out hits for years. You'll also find her writing in several places, hard-copy and on-line. Learn more about her education work www.PlanetMidori.com Photo: Go to the hidden site to download: www.fhp-inc.com/pr Click on the title of the image, not the name of the photographer. The photographer name must appear with the image.

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Also:Not a service top!
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(in reply to Faramir)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 1:12:34 PM

sleazybutterfly

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We haven't engaged in that sort of play, but I know that I much prefer the primal feel of hands causing me pain over tools.

I would not be against it, but I doubt it would ever happen.

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Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 1:15:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian
In the SF area, we have a female educator who teaches at BDSM events regularly. She pointed out that the BDSM subculture is incredibly judgemental about itsself, and that it needs to be more accepting.

Man, ain't that the fuckin' truth?

_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

(in reply to akbarbarian)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 1:16:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I can just picture Alandra and I in that situation...

A - Do you want the cookie?
K - Do you want it??
A - Only if you don't want it
K - Well, I don't want it so you take it...
A - Are you sure? Because I could eat something else...

And on and on it would go until he would say "I'll eat the damn cookie myself!!"

LOL

I can't picture Alandra and I fighting over something even in play *g*

Knight's Kyra

It's the Chip and Dale of the sub/slave world:

"Ahfter you!"
"Oh no no, I insist, ahfter you!"

_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 1:34:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I can just picture Alandra and I in that situation...

A - Do you want the cookie?
K - Do you want it??
A - Only if you don't want it
K - Well, I don't want it so you take it...
A - Are you sure? Because I could eat something else...

And on and on it would go until he would say "I'll eat the damn cookie myself!!"

LOL

I can't picture Alandra and I fighting over something even in play *g*

Knight's Kyra

It's the Chip and Dale of the sub/slave world:

"Ahfter you!"
"Oh no no, I insist, ahfter you!"

Only if they talk in the silly voices... (which is how I read many of the posts here, in my head, using the Chip/Dale voices...)

Regards,
EO

_____________________________

Some of my thoughts on Ownership:

http://extremeowner.blogspot.com/

(in reply to Faramir)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 1:52:22 PM

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There is a huge difference in punching the stomach of a trained boxer who has well developed, rock-hard abs who gets punched in them repeatedly every time he trains, as opposed to a submissive who is probably restrained in some way, hasn't done a sit-up in years and who isn't expecting the blow coming. Ever hear of an organ called the spleen? They can rupture without a whole lot of impact. And you can bleed to death from a ruptured spleen.

I have the right to trust whomever I choose to, and no human being who has the desire to punch, kick or otherwise harm another human being is ever going to be someone I choose to be in ANY kind of relationship with. Y'all can all beat the shit out of each other if you want to and more power to you, but I want no part of it. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they're judging you.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 2:27:36 PM

robertolapiedra

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Hello Domspaintoy. Because of all the "symbolics" that come from "punching", some may think this is a no no. In my case, I do not see any problem as long as it is of a consenting and safety oriented approach. For some people, bruising is acceptable.

But...it would be implicit, that the people involved know what they are doing in the safety department. I would expect the sub to know how to take a punch, and the dom how to give a "pulled" punch (it is called boxing, when it is a sport). In BDSM, it may be a "more" physical type scene, same as slapping, caning and anything that leaves bruises or welts.

When I did martial arts, I was taught how to fall first. A sub should be taught how to take it in the gut. But if a dom "fakes" with the left and hits with the right? That would be of a different "philosophy"... I would not agree, as it would be "unmanaged risk". Just think of insurance denials, assault charges, court costs etc. You don't get these as much, when you say you were "sparring" with a well trained partner.

As for the dangers involved? there are dangers involved, same as most high intensity practices you find in BDSM. Not more, not less. Anything is dangerous when you dont know shit about what you are doing to another person, not only "physically".

Different strokes... and all that. RL

(in reply to Domspaintoy)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 2:40:15 PM

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Thank You robertolapiedra. shame another 'dom' couldnt respond in a like minded manner rather than using 'aggression'.

i didnt anticipate such a heated response to the questions posed but at least people are passionate about it.

dpt.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 2:52:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: callofzion

This topic seems to have stirred up a great deal of controversy. I suggest that we resolve it by punching each other in the stomach. I'll take Faramir first, then move on to the rest of you. Please form an orderly line, no pushing, no shoving, though smashing each other in the face will be an acceptable form of line jumping.

LMAO, now that's good.
I enjoy rough play too. Just not punching. I agree that rough play can be a great stress relief, I just don't need it as much as I used to.
As far as risks? I look at that everything has risks, even when O/one knows what they are doing. They take the risk in doing something accidently that can hurt us, and we take the risk of the one being hurt. It's all about honesty and trust.
As was said earlier, why judgemental?Curious I can understand, but to say it is wrong because you don't understand it or can't handle it yourself, is wrong in in itself.

(in reply to callofzion)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 3:01:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domspaintoy

Thank You robertolapiedra. shame another 'dom' couldnt respond in a like minded manner rather than using 'aggression'.

i didnt anticipate such a heated response to the questions posed but at least people are passionate about it.

dpt.

I think when someone answers with such aggression it shows how little self control they actually have and you have to start wondering why they enjoy punching submissives ....... but each to their own

Great question by the way, very interesting read.

(in reply to Domspaintoy)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 3:09:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domspaintoy

Thank You robertolapiedra. shame another 'dom' couldnt respond in a like minded manner rather than using 'aggression'.

i didnt anticipate such a heated response to the questions posed but at least people are passionate about it.

dpt.

I think when someone answers with such aggression it shows how little self control they actually have and you have to start wondering why they enjoy punching submissives ....... but each to their own

Great question by the way, very interesting read.

my thoughts exactly givemyall. i would be very concerned for anyone who submitted to such a temprament and those who endorsed one.

dpt.

(in reply to givemyall)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 3:22:52 PM

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Ooooohhh you better warn all the subs not to have anything to do with anyone who disagrees with you... er, I mean is aggressive and dangerous and stuff....

(in reply to Domspaintoy)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 3:35:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall
I think when someone answers with such aggression it shows how little self control they actually have and you have to start wondering why they enjoy punching submissives ....... but each to their own

Great question by the way, very interesting read.

I think when someone makes the leap from "This judgemental hypocrisy of My Kink is Ok, Your Kink Is Not, is bullshit" to "I like to punch women" it shows how little cognitive ability they actually have, and you have to wonder if they have a basic education and analytical skills

Seriously though, look at what a shitty thing you just wrote. You made a snarky, mean-spirited, ugly personal comment that accused, by implication, another person if being absuive, masking their abuse under the aegis of BDSM.

My comments are laser focused on the issue at hand--the, insane, hypocritical, completely cognitively dissonant judgemental tendency of people into BDSM to apply a standard of judgement to others they would object to having applied to them. I didn't call any one fat, ugly, a loser, didn't impugn someone's background or emotional framework--you did that. I'm just pointing out, along with a lot of other people in the thread, what utter bullshit this judging is.

My comments are sharp, but they are focused on what people post, not people's motives.

You're the one with the agression issue--passive agressive that is. Now, if you have anything substantive to say about my position, about my observations, about my assetrions or analysis, by all fucking means, let loose. I'd love to hear it, and you can be as sharp and as pointed as you want. But if all you can do is make cunty, bitchy snipes, you're illustrating your character, not mine.

_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

(in reply to givemyall)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 3:42:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domspaintoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domspaintoy

Thank You robertolapiedra. shame another 'dom' couldnt respond in a like minded manner rather than using 'aggression'.

i didnt anticipate such a heated response to the questions posed but at least people are passionate about it.

dpt.

I think when someone answers with such aggression it shows how little self control they actually have and you have to start wondering why they enjoy punching submissives ....... but each to their own

Great question by the way, very interesting read.

my thoughts exactly givemyall. i would be very concerned for anyone who submitted to such a temprament and those who endorsed one.

dpt.

Wow. You got this judging/dismissing other people down real good. You must practice a lot. What's it like to be able to diagnose other people's moral character, worth, temprament, BDSM history/motivations and safety from a few lines on the internet? You're ah, you're really something, allright. I'm trying to think of the word....

_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

(in reply to Domspaintoy)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 3:48:58 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
No, no...it was never for a serious accomplishment in our case. LOL...we enjoyed it and an example might have been..."OK, there's only one chocolate chip cookie left...you girls battle it out and see who gets it!" I too, would be really put off by it if there were something serious at stake.

Oh something like that, then yes. The fact that we were fighting so hard over a cookie might have me laughing too hard to really fight well, but that only adds to the fun.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/4/2007 3:49:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall
I think when someone answers with such aggression it shows how little self control they actually have and you have to start wondering why they enjoy punching submissives ....... but each to their own

Great question by the way, very interesting read.

I think when someone makes the leap from "This judgemental hypocrisy of My Kink is Ok, Your Kink Is Not, is bullshit" to "I like to punch women" it shows how little cognitive ability they actually have, and you have to wonder if they have a basic education and analytical skills

Seriously though, look at what a shitty thing you just wrote. You made a snarky, mean-spirited, ugly personal comment that accused, by implication, another person if being absuive, masking their abuse under the aegis of BDSM.

My comments are laser focused on the issue at hand--the, insane, hypocritical, completely cognitively dissonant judgemental tendency of people into BDSM to apply a standard of judgement to others they would object to having applied to them. I didn't call any one fat, ugly, a loser, didn't impugn someone's background or emotional framework--you did that. I'm just pointing out, along with a lot of other people in the thread, what utter bullshit this judging is.

My comments are sharp, but they are focused on what people post, not people's motives.

You're the one with the agression issue--passive agressive that is. Now, if you have anything substantive to say about my position, about my observations, about my assetrions or analysis, by all fucking means, let loose. I'd love to hear it, and you can be as sharp and as pointed as you want. But if all you can do is make cunty, bitchy snipes, you're illustrating your character, not mine.

Don't worry about it, im just the lady holding the can opener...... if you want to crawl out of it then thats up to you.............ooops you just have!

(in reply to Faramir)

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