akbarbarian -> RE: Resentment while obeying (8/22/2007 5:03:43 PM)
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ORIGINAL: feastie quote:
ORIGINAL: akbarbarian What does this bring to mind? I find that sometimes I get it, and sometimes I don't, and because I want to avoid it I find myself in the position of asking a question that means "Is it ok to give you an order about this?" which royally screws with the sense of M/s for me even if I wanted her to get her way. Which I don't. But the resentment just rains all over my parade even if I "get what I want". Is this passive aggression? If so, what would you say about passive aggressive behaviour in an M/s situation? Honestly, the more you post the more I believe that you couldn't dominate yourself out of a wet paper bag with a hole in it. You really need help with the whole "it's not MY fault" thing you got going. Truly. Again, you personally are not capable of this type of relationship at this point in your life. You NEED a mentor in the very worst way. I'm not trying to be snarky or mean, but geeeeeeez, this is a neverending thing with you two. If you want an M/s relationship, then take the advice of so many people here and get the help you need to create it. This kind of relationship absolutely requires each party, not just one, both, to take long, critical looks at themselves and honestly figure out where changes may need to be made on both parts. Being Master is far more than just being boss. It is a relationship that has to be grown into and developed with time and you simply cannot expect instanenous perfection, but you have to be willing to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. So far, you just want to be boss, micromanage, and bitch and lay blame at her feet when something doesn't go the way your narrow little brain thinks it should. If anyone needs punishment in this relationship, I'd say it's you. Get smart. Be realistic. Be honest. Do not place blame. Accept responsibility. I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you meant well, and reply. I've been at this for 8 years, and am active in the local BDSM community. Classes, clubs, events, and so on. If I wasn't keen on hearing people out, I wouldn't have posted this thread. I get advice from everyone, I just don't have a greying "Master Don Dan the daddy man" picked out whose name to hide behind and say "I do this because super elder dom said to". I go out to talk to people like that every chance I get however, and am actually going out to Edges tonight. Please though, more honey less vinegar. As for not taking blame, I really don't care who is to blame for what. I simply want the problem understood, and resolved. Therefore I have no idea what you are referring to.
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