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Has anyone ever thought that maybe they haven't met anyone for a long term relationship because they are going in with a really bad attitude??

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It is wonderful isn't it so many here paint a grim picture of what is possible but then when it happens it is like WOW where have you been all my life...

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ORIGINAL: sub4hire

It has been my experience in my year's of searching.  BDSM personals sites do not work.  For some they may.
However a site like this.  It is heaven for those who just found the lifestyle yesterday and now want to dive in all the way without knowing anything about the lifestyle in general.
So, naturally those people are going to out weigh the real people here.  Making your odds of finding a good person less and less.
Yet, now and then you do read success stories of people who met here.  So, it can happen.  Overall I'd say it is too far in between to try here.
Of course this is also spoken from someone who is now married to her dominant.  So, take my advice or leave it.
However, when I was searching I did have ads out on all of the sites.  Many that no longer exist today.
It was a very long journey that ended in despair.  It wasn't until I removed all ads from everywhere and I was hanging out in a vanilla chat room.  My Dom came in, we hit it off.
Here we are working on 9 years together.  So, never underestimate where you may meet the right one for you.  I wouldn't call anyone "The one"  That puts entirely too much pressure on both.
Just be happy with someone you can make happy.  Someone you have things in common with and someone who loves you back as much as you love them. 

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ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

I've come to the realization that there is no "the one" for me.  I've been played over and over again, and personally, I'm pooped...LOL

It just baffles me the extremes and all the time some put into playing with a person's emotions

I come here for the boards and to keep in touch with buds that I have made on the site.

sorry for the downer...   here have some boob     LOL

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ORIGINAL: littlebits

Yes, I have found my One here on CM and posted also in Positive Experiences. 

We started out as friends many months ago and the friendship deepened over time.  We seemed to always know when the other needed a shoulder, an ear or a swift boot in the arse.  I helped him with his slave situation a couple times and he was there for me during my own down times.  Then something happened that kinda woke us up.  We were already friends, the bestest basis for a relationship doncha think?...so started talking a little more seriously.  He knew of my concerns about the Gorean lifestyle and a poly-house right from the outset and knew that I was not considering him seriously because of it.  He enlightened me about his point of view on both and then the two of us had some really hard thinking to do.  I connected bigtime with Gorean philosophy and way of thinking once I had learned more about it (and his manner of living it).  He saw a different perspective of poly once he had learned more about it from the submissive's side.  Although the point in time seemed to be coincidental, he also realized that the slave he already owned was not right for him.  Besides a huge age difference, there seemed to be a personality clash that rankled.  He was unable to talk to her about a lot of things without getting mired in semantics, and he found he disliked temper tantrums in a slave.  Come to find out, he wanted more of  a Free Companion, a friend, lover, confidante;  someone to do stuff with and converse with not just a slave to serve him.  He released her before coming to me to "ask for my hand" so to speak.  He wanted to be free and clear of encumbrances, just as I want to be free to go to him.  I have a UM at home that I need to see settled, and a couple personal issues to bury before I can relocate.  He knows this and is totally supportive of my decisions.  He wants all of me, as I have all of him, and when I do relocate in December I will be free to be with him utterly and completely.  The joy we have found in each other is limitless.  We can talk, and have talked, about literally everything under the sun without fear of reprisal or unacceptance or shame.  We don't have to walk on eggshells hoping not to set the other one off.  We are free to show our own vulnerabilities and insecurities and trust that the other will accept and understand.  What a feeling of peace that brings.

My Jarl and I wish all of you to have what we have...total acceptance of the other and happiness in the love you feel.  Our best wishes to you all.

Love and light,
sage

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ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

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Has anyone ever thought that maybe they haven't met anyone for a long term relationship because they are going in with a really bad attitude??

one tends to lose hope after searching as long as I have...but again...that's just me.

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ORIGINAL: plspickme

on this site?

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ORIGINAL: akisha

... I've met some absolutely wonderful people from on this site. Granted not all ended up being an intimate long term relationship but I've made some really good (yes real life) friends. Denika and her adorable husband for starters. I even met a most wonderul man that i got to claim as mine if only for a while *S* but nothing in life is guarranteed so be it. Take what comes your way. enjoy every minute of it and take away the positives when it's over and move on.

It blows me away how many people seem to dwell so heavily on the negative side of things, holy crap!!!  Has anyone ever thought that maybe they haven't met anyone for a long term relationship because they are going in with a really bad attitude?? That maybe be being so massively negative you are sending out HUGE vibes of it and turning potentially wonderful partners off really fast.

I know personally that negative people really turn me off and I refuse to keep them around me because I will not allow thier negativity to affect my life. I can't stand pessimists and people that bitch and complain all the time about anything. If something isn't working for you.. Then change it. You don't like your job? get a new one! Hate where you live? Then move!!  In an unhappy relationship? Then either figure out how to fix it or LEAVE!!

First thing to learn is to be happy being single. Be happy spending time with yourself! Be happy with yourself as a person. And for christ sake realize that just because you want a partner tomorrow doesn't mean you'll get one. It might take months or years to find someone. Thing is, partners are like shoes, you have to keep trying different ones on to see which fit the best and don't cramp your toes at the end of the day.

Do that and guess what... finding a partner that fits into your life is soo much easier. No one can make you happy. No one can be everything to you. It's not humanly possible!!!!  Figure out what it is you need in a partner, and everything else is workable.

Anything is possible if you want it bad enough. So the excuses that ohh I can't move, I can't find a better job, I can't find someone to love me and adore me and worship me. Get over yourself. You can do pretty much anything if you put your mind to it. It just takes time, desire, determination and perseverance.

  akisha, you rock!!!