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Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:04:11 PM   
mmb1


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I already know the answer to this, but am going to ask anyway..........today I was supposed to meet a Dom I know for 7 months.  I drove 3 hours there, 3 hours back (which should have been a 2 hour ride), got lost etc, but the vital thing here is we were due to meet at 1:30 for a movie, so i arrived early, and stayed for 4 HRS!!!!  And waited and waited outside the theater in the town he resides in, because I said "no he would never do this".  Now after 4 hours, and no phone call, would you have done the same thing?  I have shut odd all contact with him, I am so furious!
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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:08:25 PM   
feastie


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No, I'd have called him.  If I got no answer, I'd have gone on my merry way.  Pissed, but gone.  I'd have given him an opportunity to explain himself and then decided what I wanted to do, which, in all likelihood, would have been and end to the relationship. 

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:09:24 PM   
bandit25


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Are you F'ing kidding me?  OMG, I would be too.  Before cutting off all contact tho, I'd send him one scathing email.  No, first I'd ask what happened, THEN I'd send a scathing email.  There is a miniscule chance that he was in some kind of accident and unconscious cuz that would be the ONLY reason (besides death) that I would ever forgive that.  If he got cold feet or whatever, the least he could have done is call and let you know...not have you make that long trip.  Next time, have the dom come to you or, at least, meet halfway.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:10:56 PM   
sapphirepleasure


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Did you go there without his phone number?  If you had his phone number, did you try to call him?

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:13:13 PM   
TheIronHorse


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I'm with everyone else here, why didnt you have his contact info so you could call him?

I've been stood up, I've met people that I didnt connect with in real time. 

Suck it up and move on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mmb1

I already know the answer to this, but am going to ask anyway..........today I was supposed to meet a Dom I know for 7 months.  I drove 3 hours there, 3 hours back (which should have been a 2 hour ride), got lost etc, but the vital thing here is we were due to meet at 1:30 for a movie, so i arrived early, and stayed for 4 HRS!!!!  And waited and waited outside the theater in the town he resides in, because I said "no he would never do this".  Now after 4 hours, and no phone call, would you have done the same thing?  I have shut odd all contact with him, I am so furious!

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:13:25 PM   
Satyr6406


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It's shit like this that makes people so cynical.
 
I don't carry a cell phone but, I'd have made damned sure to borrow one from someone or call, if I was going to be late/wanted to postpone but, when you know someone is coming from that far away, anything short of death in the family/bad case of the flu (can't be too far from a toilet) is NO EXCUSE for not making the effort to be there, also.
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:14:04 PM   
YourhandMyAss


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MMB I wouldn't of waited four hours. I'da given him about 2.

This is why I refuse to go out of town for people, and why people have to come to my turf and pick me up, that and I don't drive.  I've been stood up before, but waiting for them at my house, I was comfortable and I wasn't put out by their no show. I waited all day for one person who was a no show, but I watched tv, ate dinner, hung out online while waiting.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:14:07 PM   
mmb1


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No, there is another wonderful part, i don't have the number asked him to give it to me in case I got lost (which I did) and no number!!!!!!  But this idiot stood there for 4 hrs!!!  Honestly believing he would come.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:14:49 PM   
goodpet


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I take it you did not have a phone number for him or no other contact then online chat?  Did you have references from other folks such as an extablished club, group or event folks?  After knowing someone for 7 months i hope you know more about him and how to reach him then just onling e-mail and chat. Did you have his real name or just his nick?

You should be furious, but If you had no way to call or reach him, he might have had trouble, accident, family issues out of his control.  

But it sounds like he got cold feet, not a very domly thing..  and if he really did stand you up then it's a terrible rude and chicken sh*t thing to do.  lessons leaned and move on. I hope the weather and scenery was at least nice for your drive.  Did you at least go in and see the movie alone?

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:16:00 PM   
mmb1


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well I didn't haver the number......................and my faith in him lasted longer..............after 4hrs, i said nothing happened to this man, he is just standing me up!!!!!!

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:18:10 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Well now you know- don't make a trip to someone you have no contact info for.  There will be other lessons I'm sure coming.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:18:39 PM   
mmb1


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First and last time of me ever being stood up especially after waiting 7 months.......driving all that way, standing around in front of a theater for 4 hrs, I felt so stupid, but still thought, no, he will come............so no phone number, called my submissive friend to see if i could talk to her, no answer!!!  It was great!!! 

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:19:44 PM   
chathamvahere


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Its a terrible thing to do to another person, but we honestly believe some people get off on it, they make you like them, lead you on and set up the arrival, for nothing, no reason, just make you show up and set there looking stupid, feeling angry, hurt and betrayed, most likely he will not talk again  or if he does the excuse will be lame, or he will block you, at least thats our experience with subs so far:(

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:20:19 PM   
mmb1


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I had the confo info for him months back and lost the number, but he had earned my trust (until today) over 7 months, bot no more!!!!!!!!!!!!

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:22:28 PM   
mmb1


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Well I already know people get off on this, so i said, move on to your next victim, maybe she will catch on sooner!!!!!  That was the cruelest thing anyone has ever done, especially since I did trust him and he destroyed that!

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:24:40 PM   
burningdesires47


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chathamvahere

Its a terrible thing to do to another person, but we honestly believe some people get off on it, they make you like them, lead you on and set up the arrival, for nothing, no reason, just make you show up and set there looking stupid, feeling angry, hurt and betrayed, most likely he will not talk again or if he does the excuse will be lame, or he will block you, at least thats our experience with subs so far:(


I got stood up once... and sincerely believed that he was sitting there in a car watching. *sigh* Glad I had taken a book with me.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:27:29 PM   
bandit25


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Yeah, but ya gotta get past it now.  Look at it this way.  It was only one day in your life.  Put it into prospective.  Better you found it out now.  You got off cheap.  And you're not the only one this has ever happened to.  Next time, maybe have a bit better plan.  Meet in the middle...make sure you have the other person's phone number...tell him if he doesn't give it to you, you won't meet him...stuff like that.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:30:57 PM   
Estring


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How was the movie?

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:34:07 PM   
mmb1


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There is not going to be another time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I drove all the way to him, he was 10 minutes away, why the heck would he not show up today but show up if we met half way?????  It makes no sense...........I am done!
And i would like to find that "How was the movie thing amusing".............but i don't.

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RE: Stood up on first meeting - 9/2/2007 5:35:24 PM   
mmb1


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As i said, it is time he moved on to the next one who would stand there for 4 hrs!!!!!!!!!

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