RE: Feelings of worthlessness

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Feelings of worthlessness

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Feelings of worthlessness

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 6 [7]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/15/2007 11:54:07 AM

welshwmn3

Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I say to those who have suffered damage at the hands of another....To get help. I have been consistent on this point. So DaveO, what I don't dig is people coming out here and claiming to be "healed." Yet here they sit on a BDSM website.

Then what's your malfunction? You say that people who "claim" to be healed and yet come to a BDSM site still need help because they obviously haven't gotten the healing they say they have (as evidenced by sitting on a BDSM site). You even admit to guilt and shame about being on a BDSM website.

Guess that just makes me wonder... The AA saying is "when you are pointing your finger at somebody else, there are four fingers pointing back at you".

(in reply to domiguy)

Profile

Post #: 121

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/15/2007 12:52:08 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

Is he (and are you) suggesting that events should not change us, that we are flawed if we allow them to change us?

I cannot answer for Montaigne, only say that he's whacked.

quote:

As an example, is it humanly possible for a person who has been raped to think of it simply as non-consensual sex and not let it have a negative impact?

Is it humanly possible for a person who was punched out to think of it simply as being punched out?

Depends on the human, and the feedback they get from it all.

quote:

It is my understanding of basic psychiatry that every experience, whether positive or negative, affects the brain chemicals.

Brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) are not static, even while there is nothing happening.
There are two words for lack of neurotransmitter activity: coma and brain-death.

quote:

That leads me to believe that our torment is a physiological response to trauma.

No, the response to the trauma is the initial reaction. The torment comes later.

quote:

The severity of the trauma can alter the recuperation time.

Sure. But the severity of the subsequent coping problems is what determines healing time.

quote:

In the latter case, do we blame the person because of those complications that affect the recovery period?

Who is blaming anyone?

quote:

But even then, it is still there behind us, a part of us that we cannot completely detach from.

The past is always there.

What differs is how we interpret it, and how we incorporate it into our lives.

quote:

To acknowledge our shadow is a means to make it small enough that we can manage it and not allow it to manage us.

Which I did not contradict. But examine your anthropomorphization of this shadow: it lives in you.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to catize)

Profile

Post #: 122

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/16/2007 6:31:58 AM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

i agree with You here.. It took me over 20 years to really start to heal. That in anyones book is way too long to hold onto the torment, hate and guilt that i carried with me everyday for over 20 years.

If things had been handled differently early on i think i may have been able to start the healing process much sooner.

1) Because i had blocked out the faces of my rapists i decided to put on a strong face so that no one could see how damaged i felt.
2) The Army did send me to a councilor but it was a man and i wasn't feeling very trusting of men at the time. i don't know why i didn't think to ask if i could talk to a woman instead.
3) The way the Army handled it over all was in my opinion very bad and made me feel even more violated.
If even one of those things had been done differently or if i had realized sooner how much power i was still giving them sooner i'd have healed sooner.

i have now let go of the anger towards them that i'd carried for so long. The guilt i've felt has been let go but i still accept the responsibility of my role.

(in reply to Aswad)

Profile

Post #: 123

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/16/2007 7:02:27 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

I personally don't think its unhealthy for me to be into bdsm...and i'm not angry at my Mother for not protecting me,(she knew i now know) nor am i angry at my uncles and dad and stepfather. i think my Mother did the best she could considering, and i think the men in my family are just sick people that REALLY needed and still need help.Now i will say it took a LONG time in therapy and a lot of "healing" for me to get where i am now...not only am i a survivor, but i BROKE the chain...yes, thats right...my girls were not molested ...and neither of them became teen mothers either ! and they graduated from high school. all of these things unfortunately are HUGE departures from the norm in my family....so i am very proud of my kids.....they are 25, 22, and 21... and are good people....kind, considerate...have respect, and manners. ok...i'll shut up about my kids now LOL (sorry i have proud mom syndrome and it pops up every now and then) yeah...i'm a survivor, how cool is that?

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to liljoy)

Profile

Post #: 124

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/16/2007 5:26:23 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: welshwmn3

You even admit to guilt and shame about being on a BDSM website.

Missed that part would you care to point it out...Trust me it's not there..It's what you chose to read into my post to try to help justify your foundless response.

_____________________________

(in reply to welshwmn3)

Profile

Post #: 125

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/16/2007 6:12:50 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I personally don't think its unhealthy for me to be into bdsm...and i'm not angry at my Mother for not protecting me,(she knew i now know) nor am i angry at my uncles and dad and stepfather. i think my Mother did the best she could considering, and i think the men in my family are just sick people that REALLY needed and still need help.Now i will say it took a LONG time in therapy and a lot of "healing" for me to get where i am now...not only am i a survivor, but i BROKE the chain...yes, thats right...my girls were not molested ...and neither of them became teen mothers either ! and they graduated from high school. all of these things unfortunately are HUGE departures from the norm in my family....so i am very proud of my kids.....they are 25, 22, and 21... and are good people....kind, considerate...have respect, and manners. ok...i'll shut up about my kids now LOL (sorry i have proud mom syndrome and it pops up every now and then) yeah...i'm a survivor, how cool is that?

..after watching this thread with interest for several days but feeling it best not to contribute, i just had to break that for a moment to say this...

YOU GO, GIRL!!

truly, that is absolutely awesome that you have managed to "break the chain" with your own daughters, and i'm sure you realize the phenomenal impact this will have not just on them and their lives but on all the future generations...just awesome.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Profile

Post #: 126

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/16/2007 6:37:38 PM

mmb1

Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline

Being a survivor is great! Good for you!!!

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Profile

Post #: 127

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/16/2007 9:13:34 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Geez...thanks Prop and mmb1.... for the very kind words!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to mmb1)

Profile

Post #: 128

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/17/2007 2:11:49 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greeting bita

i am so sorry you had to suffer at the hands of someone who was so cruel. i remember i love someone and he had me jumping through hoops anything he said i would do and i loved him so but i know now that the love he gave me was so wrong love is something to be given and handle with care.for him to ask you to eat dog food or shit was a nightmare. but i understand what you mean you did anything he want with out questions no matter what. i did something for this man i love and it was something that was against what i believe at that time and he was so proud of what he had me do. when he was done he took me home and never called or wrote to me when i did speak with him i told him you ..... ... ... he had nothing to say but bita i had one thing that made me strong my son i made sure he never hurt him again my son wrote him a long letter he was only 10 and he made sure it was not answered and him made sure he hurt him. i took that power away from him . i guard my heart now with a steel cage and i will not let anyone inside this happen so much . that was hard for you to write and i think no i know you have strength and power even though you feeling so lonely and hurt i will find someone new and great as you will find that someone who will gave you love that you need . i am feeling your pain my twin and i have pain for others if you wish please trust me and write me personally i will answer and be there if you and when you need me. please take me up on this and i will answer and it is personal

take care and find a Dom who is wonderful yet strong and gave you what you need

Mons take care i am sad for you but it is not pity

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Profile

Post #: 129

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/17/2007 5:56:41 AM

welshwmn3

Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: welshwmn3

You even admit to guilt and shame about being on a BDSM website.

Missed that part would you care to point it out...Trust me it's not there..It's what you chose to read into my post to try to help justify your foundless response.

Ask and you shall recieve, that your 'joy' may be whole:

quote:

Hi my name is Domiguy and I am fucked up..."Welcome Domiguy" Says the members ofCM.......Here's the deal DaveO....This site for many including myself is not something that we exactly wear with a badge of honor. It's not something that we parade out for everyone to see. I wonder why that is?

Your own words condemn you. You then went on to say that 'sister' says she saved a drowning child (definately something praiseworthy) and that your contribution would just be visiting an online BDSM site, and how the shame/shock of it would kill GrandDomi.

Yeah, I can see how you are absolutely right and my response asking what your malfunction is would be *totally* uncalled for. Right.

(in reply to domiguy)

Profile

Post #: 130

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/17/2007 6:43:24 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

I am sorry for your suffering.

Feelings of worthlessness are common to many slaves, I have observed on CM. It is natural for them.

In fact slaves are superhuman beings and as such priceless.

You had the misfortune to run into a master that could not be relied on to protect you. He apparently tried to break you, which is one way to cause a slave to become the incarnation of the Goddess of slaves, but lacked the wit to achieve that purpose. I hope that you have since met more perceptive masters.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Profile

Post #: 131

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/17/2007 11:31:41 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: welshwmn3

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: welshwmn3

You even admit to guilt and shame about being on a BDSM website.

Missed that part would you care to point it out...Trust me it's not there..It's what you chose to read into my post to try to help justify your foundless response.

Ask and you shall recieve, that your 'joy' may be whole:

quote:

Hi my name is Domiguy and I am fucked up..."Welcome Domiguy" Says the members ofCM.......Here's the deal DaveO....This site for many including myself is not something that we exactly wear with a badge of honor. It's not something that we parade out for everyone to see. I wonder why that is?

Your own words condemn you. You then went on to say that 'sister' says she saved a drowning child (definately something praiseworthy) and that your contribution would just be visiting an online BDSM site, and how the shame/shock of it would kill GrandDomi.

Yeah, I can see how you are absolutely right and my response asking what your malfunction is would be *totally* uncalled for. Right.

Did you just try to quote the Bible?...a book you say you dont believe in...LMAO

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to welshwmn3)

Profile

Post #: 132

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/17/2007 8:09:57 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

celeste; thank you its amazing to go back there, and to allow myself to feel it, and to celibrate who i am now....again, thank you.

owned: it really touched my heart when you cried in the super market, i have cried for that same reason....when all i knew about myself was that i liked the color lavender. i wrote this about that time in my life

you wear a dress sequined with contradictions
and a tiara that used to shine
you keep your faith in complications
but if its ok ill stick to mine

busy bees they swarm around you
but they never bring and extra set of wings
cast your pearls before swine thats what you do
at least thats what the floorboards sing

sitting in the darkness i see you,
sitting in the darknes i hear you,
sitting in the darkness i know you
and i know you will be alright....

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to breatheasone)

Profile

Post #: 133

RE: Feelings of worthlessness - 9/24/2007 9:21:31 AM

taintedgypsy

Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

you wear a dress sequined with contradictions
and a tiara that used to shine
you keep your faith in complications
but if its ok ill stick to mine

busy bees they swarm around you
but they never bring and extra set of wings
cast your pearls before swine thats what you do
at least thats what the floorboards sing

sitting in the darkness i see you,
sitting in the darknes i hear you,
sitting in the darkness i know you
and i know you will be alright....

Thankyou ... That is beautiful

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Profile

Post #: 134