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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 10/13/2007 1:50:52 PM   
Sexynmentalinkc


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I draw the line at penguins-on-sticks.

Some things just go TOO far.  *shrug*


True, actual "no-limit" folks (if there are such) are, in my mind, not all that wise. Everyone that's SSC has some kind of limits. That's not to say those can't be stretched, expanded or outright erased though, of course.



** tips his hat **

- Mr. S

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 10/13/2007 1:57:28 PM   
downkitty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Context is important.

The literal "no limits" on its own means just that. Every right she has she is surrendering, making clear her intention to never claim a right to anything.

"no limits beyond my own" would mean she would assert no rights beyond those which I permit her. Essentially my limits become her limits.

For a "no limit" sub to actually achieve "no limits", she would need a "no limit" dom. Otherwise, she would always be limited by the limits of her dom.


This sums up my perception of it as well. I've always considered myself a no-limit slave in that I have no safe word, no stated hard limits, no negotiated taboo areas. However, for that very reason, I would not be kneeling at the feet of a man who enjoys scat pizza, or who gets a kick out of mutilation.  It is a matter of compatibility.

I will say, though, that I have done things I do not enjoy in the least for my Master. At this point, if he told me to have a slice of that pizza, I would. I would probably be sick and hate every moment, but I would do it. I doubt I would have submitted to him if I thought he would have me do that, but I have submitted to him, and without limits.


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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 10/13/2007 2:11:47 PM   
downkitty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Forgive me: IMO this is not  healthy.
Post the same in 20 years time and I might accept it as such.




Well, how much of S&M does the rest of the world consider healthy?  While I am a slave, I am not a masochist. I do not like pain. There is zero pleasure in pain for me.  Consequently, I have not submitted to a sadist. I never tell my Master "no" over anything he tells me to do ... ever.  I've never had a safeword, nor have I ever thought, "Wow, this would be a good time for a safeword."  I've never felt threatened or unsafe. There are many times I have disliked what he's had me do. I think that's pretty common in all relationships though. M/s is on the edge, so maybe its a bit more extreme than in vanilla cases, but I think thats debatable.

I understand your feelings on this, completely, but I must say that I find S&M to be an unhealthy practice.  The idea of someone enjoying causing someone s/he supposedly loves such pain is just wrong to me.  The thing is ... its because it's unhealthy *for me* and its wrong *for me*, much like no-limit slavery is unhealthy *for you.*

Please understand that these are my opinions from my point of view from my life experiences. I understand that others will disagree and have differing points of view and experiences.  For me, this relationship is wonderful and long-term.  We may not have hit the 20-year mark, but tons of real, loving, valid relationships do not. We are 4 years and going strong.




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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 10/13/2007 2:31:57 PM   
downkitty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored

Click here: The BDSM Circle, D/S Lifestyle, The 9 Levels Of Submission  Also according to Wikipedia (not the most reliable source I realize)
No Limits – the dominant may do anything he or she cares to with the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who does not yet know what their limits are. In reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits. “No limits” play is more the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life BDSM. This is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or Total Power Exchange.  
It does not seem these articles look at "NO Limits" in a positive manner.


No-limit play?  Have I been looking at this all wrong? Is no-limit solely an S&M thing having to do with how far a masochist is willing to endure?  This has not been my understanding at all. ~shrug~


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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 11/18/2007 4:44:59 PM   
painslave97


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and Masters should use, explore and grow with thier slaves,  

< Message edited by painslave97 -- 11/18/2007 4:45:49 PM >

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 1/13/2008 12:42:48 AM   
subinchico


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I tried to read this whole thread ....
sorry,,, and as a sub with scars everywhere,,,Thank you ALL for teaching me!
I thought since I'd die for my GODDESS and she holds a legal doc that absolves her from guilt (plus she's in my will) I was a No Limit slave?  I am wronge as I wont hurt others for her,,, and I agree with you-all, that somone that is that controlled, is insane -lock em up!

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 1/14/2008 12:14:56 AM   
Feric


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This means that the threshhold has not yet been reached. You continue until the partner feels compelled to call out the Safeword; then, the limit has been reached. But the journey is an exciting exploration. 

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 1/14/2008 4:08:35 AM   
Evility


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored
How do you define "no limits"?


To me "no limits" does not mean a free for all. It means that the the submissive does not enter into the equation with her own boundaries. That is what we have. She trusts me to use my own moral compass to not lead her into anything illegal. To us "no limits" isn't anarchy - it's a situation where I decide our limits, not her. And that's what domination and submission should be about. The dominant making the decisions.

I did not read through 37 pages of replies. I can only imagine what the rank and file had to say about this.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 1/14/2008 9:52:08 AM   
meticulousgirl


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prior to engaging in activities with my Dom we spoke about my limits that i had at the time, and the things that He just wasn't interested in doing.  Now in time a few of my I'm interested but, i'm afraid to admit it limits have been broken and so has one or two hard limits.  They weren't forced, discussion and research was done and it didn't happen until He knew that i was ok with at least trying it.  i did it for Him, to please Him but the end result was that i enjoyed it, or at least enjoyed making myself ok with it to please Him. 

my only hard limits are no permanant marks and no scat, i think they are probably the only two i couldn't get passed but He's not into either so i'm good to go for as long into the future as i can see. 

~meticulous~

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 1/14/2008 10:51:06 AM   
AMaster


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So, what I am reading here indicates that "no limits" does not mean "NO Limits."    I've said it in the forums before- there is no such thing as a no limits sub.  Now I have proof.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 4/29/2008 11:22:59 PM   
subinchico


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To Norway--Thank you Stephann, Rover(or Roland), the 2 with Mist in their username and 1 or 2 folks I can't remember!!
I fu-in kinda love you all---Threaded way back someone said if living in Norway (I think), &both people consent properly, great bodily harm can be litigated!!  I love my mistresses expressions of tortuing me to death--I'd be pissed if someone judged me for that!!  Lets move to Norway!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Hiya shoshi,

I get you, and I'll try to explain my view in a sec.

First off, expecting that you must condone anyone elses behavior is a quick way to find your opinions on deaf ears.  daddysprop isn't looking for support that I can tell; she's sharing elements of a relationship that she declares, fully on her own, makes her happy.  She's voiced her consent a thousand times here, if she's done it once.

A further comment, is that it isn't the principal of people doing what they want (or not) within the boundaries of a consensual relationship.  A big issue is saying "MKIAYKIN" (My kink is acceptable, your kink is not.)  The trouble is that what is acceptable to me would probably cause a few people's hair to turn white.  Who draws the line?

I do.  I have to be happy with myself.  I have to be happy with my slave. 
She does.  She has to be happy with herself, and she has to be happy with me.
And, if we live in any type of society, Big Brother.  (though usually we tend wish big brother wasn't or shouldn't be watching, so we break laws left and right in the lifestyle as part of our 'Risk Aware' activities; but that's another story.)

A woman in an abusive relationship, who knows the relationship is abusive, and fears to leave it, is still consenting to an abusive relationship.  It may be wrong, it may be abhorrent, it may make everyone around them angry, but unless they are a) breaking laws, and b) you're willing to invade their space to report them, there simply isn't anything in your power to do.

Not every person wants to be saved.  Not every person wants to be happy.  Those who consciously, actively choose to live an unhappy and painful life have every bit of a right to their pursuit to death, bondage, and the pursuit of misery. 

So, it's not 'ok' to abuse a slave.  You're welcome to offer assistance to a person you feel is being abused.  Be prepared to end up with the door slammed in your face about as often as a Jehova's Witness at 6am on Sunday, because you're still attempting to enforce your way of life on someone else who hasn't asked for.

Stephan



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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 4/29/2008 11:38:43 PM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: UR2Badored
If you consider yourself to be or are looking for a "No Limits" bottom.  What exactly does that mean to you?  Does anyone really believe, in the literal, sense that they have no limits whatsoever? 

How do you define "no limits"?
(I would appreciate opinions and views from anyone on this matter)

This is a topic I am quite familiar with.  From my -=TPE - no limits total submission, fact or fiction?=-  thread:
-=The End All of Limits =-
In line with reality, if I tell my slave to "fly" she will not be able to whether there are negotiated limits or not.  However, a good slave once said, "with a running start, I can give you 2 seconds of flight".

There are no limits in TPE.  Anything otherwise is semantic word games.  As Master I am in control and I own my slave in the same way I own any property.  My car does not negotiate limits with me when I ask it to turn left or stop, neither should my slave.  My car has real life limitations like my slave.  If I abuse it or push it past its' limits, it will break.  However, I am smart and responsible enough not to abuse my property, living or otherwise.  My car can't fly for more than a few seconds either by the way.

If "limits" are a concern to the point you feel you must mention or negotiate for them you are either not suited for TPE or poorly paired with someone you don't trust.  Either way, "limits" should be a clue to both parties that something is amiss.



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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 4/30/2008 5:17:18 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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UR2Badored,

No limits bottoms... well the only limits that would be in place would be my own limits then.   Lions and Tigers and Bears, the question in my mind is how far would I myself push my own limits or explore things.   Mind you, anybody with me is safe from the Hannibal Lector treatment, meaning I would never cut them up and eat them literally.   Mind you fun to threaten it for play or for mind fuck purposes, but to actually do it, I'll pass on that one. 

I wonder how many no limits Dom/mes or tops there really are out there?  LOL..

People invest a lot of time and energy into finding a lifestyle partner, why would anybody want to kill them or cause permant harm that would impair or end the life of what they finally found?   So, I'm with the prized property mindset on this one.

I don't have a problem with branding somebody, or other things that involve leaving permant marks.  However, there is a limit to what I would do.  I'm not into disfiguring somebody to the point that they are no longer physically attractive.

My whole attitude with a no limits <insert label here>, is that their limits become in fact my own.   Yes, I have limits.  There are a few things I would explore a little deeper or new things I would do or explore with a No Limits bottom/sub/slave.   So the whole concept of a no limits bottom appeals to me, compared to somebody with a lot of limits. 






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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 4/30/2008 5:27:40 AM   
RavenMuse


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My girl has no limits with Me... That doesn't mean there are no limits within the relationship, just that she trusts in My limits and duty of care. she trusts in the fact that I take care not to cause her harm.... That I am good at reading her body to know how far I can take her on that particular occassion, she trusts MY control both of her and of the situation.

As the the title question of how far would I go.... as far as I want upto the instant before I would cause harm... that is MY limit.


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Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 4/30/2008 7:40:13 AM   
born4serving


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At the moment I do a one or two limits, but my dream is to marry a Mistress and when that time comes, there really will no longer be any limits for me.  All my trust and confidence will be in that Mistress, and I will have nothing left to fear. So ultimately, when I am married to my Mistress, I will have no limits. 

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 4/30/2008 7:45:24 AM   
Leatherist


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These threads always degenerate into fear mongering and semantic debates.

People with no limits do have them. Even if they hate to admit it. They are generally just smart enough to hook up with someone who has realistic ones.

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RE: No Limits: How far would you go? - 5/1/2008 6:46:40 AM   
tsatske


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I really try not to get into 'no limits' conversations on collarme - i certainly do not start them. Collarme is a very no-limits hating environment.
First the collarme folks inform me of 'what the words' that express my kink 'mean' - and I am absolutely in the wrong to try and use any other meaning! Then they tell me that that meaning is absolutely unacceptable. How many times on this thread has someone said that 'anyone who is truly no limits should be locked up' ?
Understand that i speak only for me. How other people describe their kink and identify themselves is just okay with me.

First of all, much of 'no limits' is symbolic speech. Not all of it, but i will get to that.
I do not have limits with Him. period.
I love this concept that 'no limits means the slave and Master have identical limits'. It reminds me of telling vanillas, 'well, it is really not pain, it is strong, erotic sensation. I just process the feeling differently than you do, it feels good to me.' This is both true - and less than the whole truth. So is the 'identical limits' statement. It is something that someone who can not accept the no limits concept, something that they can wrap their head around and accept.
If he did not have similar core values to me, i would not have fallen in love with him, that is true. If he did not have my best interests and safety and care and needs at the center of his priorities, i could not trust him enough to abandon all limits, that is also true.
I was looking for a no limits Master, someone i could trust with that, because that is who and what i am. But, before surrendering that to someone, i have plenty of limits. 2 kinds of limits - temporary ones, that only apply to the 'I would only do this for my owner, for a life mate, for a whatever.' I have a LOT of those. And more core ones - ones that will never feel right to me, no matter who owns me. The second ones usually are not about 'gee, i don't like that', but more about, 'this feels to me like a wrong thing to do, i don't want to do this because i belive it is wrong'. For me, the 'wrongness' usually has to do with other people, i don't believe anything is 'wrong' for me to do when it only affects me. (in other words, 'and it harm none, do as ye wilt.')
Early in our relationship Master broke some of those limits - asked me to do things that i believe are wrong. He did not ask me to kill, maim, injure or rape anyone. He required me to do things that would get a lot of people on here to tell me how wrong it was - and i agree with them - but that a lot of other people would have no problem with. My values haven't changed - but he is in control.
There are always, as RS said, things that one 'can not' do. And these are not limited to flying. There are things that one 'can't' do because they would damage, in a particular case, though others could do them. Like my sistersub has had her neck broken and can't give a blowjob in certain positions, because it will damage her. She is not no limits - but if that were me, i would know that he had the right to require me to try, even if it might damage me. I would also know that he probably wouldn't - but i would accept that he had the right.
There are things like flying, but some of them are more personal - other people can do this, i can't. I can't seem to piss in front of him, for whatever reason. It is a block i can't seem to overcome. But i certainly try, if ordered to, and am certainly willing to continue to work on it, if he wants it.
There is the 'i can't' in terms of 'more than i can take'. And he is absolutely free to take me there. Does, on occasion. I am a pretty heavy pain slut, but we have a few toys that are more than i can take. A very tight nasty clit clamp, that starts me begging and pleading the moment he reaches for it, and has me screaming the whole time it is on. My throat is raw after every time we play with it. I do have to be chained down to play with it, but i would never consider telling him no. that is not my right.

Then there are the things i call the 'big red no button'. The things i absolutely can not bring myself to do. Hurt my own children, for instance.
there are things that have to be understood. The only thing that would get me to tell him no - and, again, he would never ask, because he does understand the issues - is drinking. This seems counter intrusive if you don't understand, but he does. The thing with asking me to drink is - or would be - i am his to do with as he sees fit. He is free to kill me. but drinking would kill me far too slowly, and, long before it was done, he would find it necessary to release me, so then my life is an unmanageable hell and he is not there with me. so, that is a big red no button for me.

There are things that he would not do, that he has the right to do. This is where the symbolic language comes in, because it is important to us that he has the right. He can kill me. In fact, my contract says that in order to release me, he must kill me, sell me, or otherwise place me, unless he finds it necessary to release me because of my own dishonorable behavior.
That was not in the contract draft he first showed me. I asked for it. I have to tell you, honestly, that i do not think i would have signed a life long contract with someone unwilling to agree to that stipulation. It is about a Dominant that wants total control, being willing to accept total responsibility.
My contract says he can maim me, mutilate me - basically do anything he wants. again, the important thing is in knowing that we have agreed to that. Someone said on a board once - 'if he actually decided to cut off your arm, i doubt if you'd hold it out and hold still for it'. Yes, i would hold it out. Hold still for him? probably not. but my contract does not say I have to. He is bigger than me and stronger than me, and has my full consent to use, in the language of our contract, 'as much force as necessary.'
Which brings us to another 'no limits' issue. One of the Great Agreed Upon Myths (uhm - sorry - truths) on collarme is that every slave has one right left - the right to leave. My contract says that if i leave without begging him for and receive release from him, that he promises to track me down and bring me back to him, 'by as much force as necessary.'

there are many more issues that one can take with 'no limits' slaves. but, in the end, i just do not understand why other people have so much issue with my life choice. I am not hurting other people. Yes, like the woman out reading in her husbands fishing boat, i suppose i have all the equipment. but it is so like American society to espouse freedom of choice, then have an attitude with anyone whose choices are not their own. We have that attitude with women all over the world who do not chose American style freedom for their relationships. This is my choice. My choice is slavery.
that does not mean that this is the only thing that is slavery. But it is my kind of slavery. it is the only thing that works for me. i continue to fail to understand why my choice would disturb others, in any way.

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