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ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

Am I CM's first genuine lunatic ?

Hardly.  In fact, I think You are a nice person, Seeks.

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ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

Dear Kinky Abby
Glad to see that you handled Gretchen H with a firm hand but I am puzzled. Since no one else has been on my computer I can only assume that Gretchen is in fact me. I have no recollection of making that post and when I mentioned what had happened to my shrink she said not only am I Oedipal I have multiple personality disorder as well.

So my question is this Abby, since you began advising me I appear to have got worse. Is that supposed to happen.? In order to be healed and become merged and live a normal life you must first become aware that you have other personalities. So maybe, this has been helping. Seeks I could not bear it and would have to disappear forever, never to see you or another human if I were to have caused you harm.
Am I CM's first genuine lunatic ?First? Hell no. One of may yes. lol  Seeks you've finally joined the rest of us.

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ORIGINAL: subtee

Why? Why is everyone always picking on Iowa? Caucus envy???

~singing, oh, come and see, come dance with me,
              to the beautiful iowa waltz~

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ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

With regard to Silvars high speed Racoon there exists in the UK a chicken that is capable of running at 125mph. It's meat is so succulent and it is so easy to breed all the dopey Liberal experts think that it should eliminate hunger in the world within about 5 years. If they can be brought together in a closed space the Hens are nymphomaniacs  (hmmm I resemble this term) and produce 10 fertilised eggs per hour and the cocks are well just insatiable cocksmen (would like to find one of these). who view it as  their lifes mission to impregnate as many Hens as possible.

The only problem is no one can round up the little fukkers.
Is this the dark face of Darwinism at work? Darwinism? not likely. More the dark face of imbreeding and/or specialized breeding to make someone a large amount of money.They just need to find out how to catch them so they can enjoy.
No doubt Kinky Abby will know. lol

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ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

Dear Kinky Abbey,

I am writing to you cause I did something terribly naughty today, and I just know I am going to get into BIG trouble. I hid my Master's cane in the umbrella stand, his flogger in the UM's toybox, and used his clamps to hold my youngest's science project together. Now, I am thinking that he might not believe that the cat did it, so any advice that you might have would be appreciated.  First of all, you need to find out what pushed you over the edge into this behavior. Figure out why you did it. Then you need to see if you can find a way to fix things before he comes home and then you need to really really be ready for some of his favorite activities.   Kneel naked or lie prostrate and beg for mercy. The cat story is no good.

Waiting for Master to come home,
kat

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ORIGINAL: cautiousiasub

probablyknowme,

I know I am not the all-knowing kinky Abbey, but I felt I would offer my advice. You could try to hurry and put them all back. If it's too late for that and he is already home, just tell him that you thought it would be fnu to have a treasure hunt. Either that, or the house was over-run by poltergeists (sp?) while he was away. Be warned, if you use this one, it must be said with a straight face, and I'm not guaranteeing it's going to work even then. If all else fails, you will just have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

I will say, that if at all humanly possible, wait for Abbey's advice before taking mine. She is at work at the moment, and she has commented to me several times to help her respond to some of your questions when she is unavailable. I've tried telling her that her advice would be so much better, but she never listens to me.

Oh, and...

Dear Kinky Abbey,

I think I just gave some really horrible advice. What should I do?lol It was not horrible not really anyway. I don't know it all just have some good resources lol. You should keep thinking and working on it you'll get better. Just need to keep you having sessions regularly so your mind doesn't go schizo.
 
remember I luv ya


Hugs!!
cautious

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ORIGINAL: NLitendLady
lol It was not horrible not really anyway. I don't know it all just have some good resources lol. You should keep thinking and working on it you'll get better. Just need to keep you having sessions regularly so your mind doesn't go schizo.
 
remember I luv ya

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ORIGINAL: probablyknowme

Dear Kinky Abbey,

Okay Master came home, and I did what you suggested, and met him kneeling nekkid at the door. He came in and tripped over the umbrella stand that I had accidentally left in the way when I put the cane in it. I tried not to laugh as he laid sprawled rather indignantly beside my nekkid self, really I did...I confessed prettily to what I did, and he got that LOOK on his face. He told me to go get the things that I'd hidden, and I had to dump out the toybox, cause somehow the flogger wound up on the bottom. When he came into the room to find out what was taking so long, he tripped over the rollerskate that had somehow gotten away from me...When he finally got up off the floor, with much appologizing on my part, he told me to go get the clamps. I took the clamps off of the science experiment, and honestly, who woulda thunk that taking that divider out would cause such a mess with smoke filling up the room??? I musta made some kinda noise cause here comes Master, except he can't see through the haze and ran into the doorframe, and fell on his behind...

Now Master is on his way to the hospital to have x-rays, and I am still kneeling nekkid by the door waiting for him to come home...What should I do now?

Waiting for some kind of advice,
kat

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ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

Dear Kinky Abby
I am thinking that maybe you and Cautious are one and the same person.We are a lot alike in many ways but we are definitely different. She's like me years ago but then again she is significantly younger.
I think those groundhogs may be getting the upper hand, or should I say trotter.They will never win. I promise that.

Do groundhogs like to lol about in shit with a big smile on their faces like ordinary pigs do ?No they like to go to Cautious' house and cause trouble lol.
What is a groundhog anyway....the Iowan state mascot ? It's an oversized furry cross between a rat and a dog. Iowa does not have a mascot unless you count corn or the Hawkeyes lol. (To you cyclone fans, Iowa is known as the Hawkeye state after all)
Bit like the British Bulldog only better looking and dont slobber so much ? They are kinda cute and their face isn't smushed. I don't think they slobber but I don't like to get close cause they can inflict pretty serious damage when provoked, not quite as bad as a raccoon but serious still.

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ORIGINAL: Silvar

*sighs*  Finally got out of the woods and back to some form of civilization.  Duck man told me that a flashlight would fend off all the animals in the woods, but he didn't tell me that I had to wait at the last minute for them to come right up to my face, turn on the light and go "Boo!"  Took me three days to figure that out.  *shrugs*lol At least you are learning good survival skills.

Anyways, I after getting out of the woods, I came into a small farm area located in the wilderness where they were holding a business of letting tourists canoe down the river.  I declined the offer since I'm not much for adrenaline rush, and the guy sitting on the porch playing his banjo in a familiar tune gave me the creeps.  Hrm...  Reminds me of some some movie...  Oh well.LOL Deliverance meets Iowa. We are not quite so hillbillyesque in Iowa. The river and it's people not nearly as dangerous as say um the children of the corn.   So watch the cornfields not the river for danger. Then there is always that lovely field of dreams. lol We'll have to give you the grand tour of Iowa someday.

-Silvar

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ORIGINAL: cautiousiasub

Seeks,

I would post pics of a groundhog on here for you, but I don't know how. Do you have any suggestions for me? If I could figure that out, I could even prove I am not Kinky Abbey.

cautious

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ORIGINAL: cautiousiasub

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ORIGINAL: NLitendLady
lol It was not horrible not really anyway. I don't know it all just have some good resources lol. You should keep thinking and working on it you'll get better. Just need to keep you having sessions regularly so your mind doesn't go schizo.
 
remember I luv ya

I only answered because you were at work and I was concerned she wouldn't get any advice before he came home. That was very thoughtful of you.Don't get used to it, that really made my brain hurt, lol.With regular use your brain would not hurt like that lol.  Regular sessions? Awww, now you're just teasing me. lol I love to tease. Besides that, it's too late, regular sessions don't seem to by in my vocabulary...or his for that matter...life gets in the way so easily.Well we will have to work on that.

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ORIGINAL: NLitendLady

I might be able to figure it out.  How would you prove you are not me?  We should get a pic of us together somedaylol.