T1981
Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008 Status: offline
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I had to come back to this. We recently had our first heavy play session with another couple, in which I got to top our new friend's sub (a woman). I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it ALOT. Being able to ride her reactions out and knowing that it was ME who was producing them was an incredible high. I had to admit to myself that while I do identify as a sub, there is a sadist in me who enjoys inflicting pain upon willing girls. When I talked to my husband about this, he said it seemed naturual: After all, the more time you spend getting beat, the more experience you have in what feels good, what works, etc, etc. And to be able to GIVE BACK the wonderful sensations a good beating can give was wonderful, affirming, and extremely fun. After all, I can't very well beat my husband and get him off on it, so it was a real treat to be able to take someone else there. This made sense. And yet, I was still submissive to both of the dominant men in the room, which was wonderful as well. So technically I'm a switch, but this doesn't mean that I'm a switch for any submissive gal or that I'd enjoy topping any woman. Given the choice, my ass is the one that prefers to be paddled, but for someone who likes it, I'm more than happy to paddle someone else's ass. So am I not a "true" submissive simply because I know how wonderful being topped feels and because I want to give that to someone else? Am I not a "true" submissive because I find myself salivating at the idea of hurting someone (who likes it?) Am I not a "true" submissive because I enjoyed the gasps, the moans, the cries and occasional screams that came as a direct result of my hand upon her body? Maybe. Maybe....just something for me to gnaw on today, I suppose......
< Message edited by T1981 -- 1/28/2009 7:58:26 AM >
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"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize
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