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RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 5/14/2009 12:12:26 PM   
Miwsi


Posts: 35
Joined: 2/25/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: Miwsi


Then he sends me one last PM with a "present" for me: a picture of his cock. I block him, but only after I tell him that's repugnant, I don't want to look at his cock.[/color]
[/size]
It really was an undesirable, wormy thing.

But yeah. That's me being a funny bitch, but I don't entirely feel that way about Switches. It's nice to see this thread. I shall look through it. 



Didn't that picture prompt you to send him a nice "Thank you" note? Possibly with "Does a magnifying glass come with it?" or "Has anybody ever told you to only show off if you got something worth showing off?"



Haha, I should have. I suppose next time something happens like that I will XD

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 5/21/2009 7:59:57 AM   
PeterEG


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/12/2009
Status: offline
Finding another switch seems to be one of the hardest things to do. Most of the time I'm a Dom and enjoy doing that. There is a part of me that is still a sub and always will be. Satisfying that side of me is not always easy to do or find some one who can.

(in reply to colligocarus)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 5/25/2009 5:06:53 PM   
switchjessica


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
I have had that same problem cause im known as a "switch".. I think its just that we can play both fields of the game.. It also means that if you want a sub you weill get a sub but if you are looking for a dom you will get a dom.. Doesnt mean that we cant get the job done...

sweet kisses

switch jessica

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 6/19/2009 1:39:53 AM   
PeterEG


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/12/2009
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God do I hate the term "True Dom" or "True sub"
I am about 60/40 Dom/sub and the ones who call them self "True" are the ones who have no idea about what this life style is about. For them it's all about taking or giving control and not power exchange. If you want to be bullied or be a bully and make people do what you want or the other way around. That's fine, enjoy your self but that doesn't make you "True".
For me it is an exchange that has been agreed on .
For me the exchange can go either way.



_____________________________

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(in reply to colligocarus)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 6/19/2009 4:22:25 AM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeterEG

God do I hate the term "True Dom" or "True sub"
I am about 60/40 Dom/sub and the ones who call them self "True" are the ones who have no idea about what this life style is about. For them it's all about taking or giving control and not power exchange. If you want to be bullied or be a bully and make people do what you want or the other way around. That's fine, enjoy your self but that doesn't make you "True".
For me it is an exchange that has been agreed on .
For me the exchange can go either way.




That is the reason this cruddy old thing was dug up?
wow




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(in reply to PeterEG)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 6/25/2009 11:52:33 PM   
rkreilic


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/23/2009
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I get problems from Doms who don't see me as committed enough or whatever. I never try to say I'm a sub though, I tell everyone I'm involved with that I'm a switch who is more toward the sub side of things. When I dom, it tends to be for very very submissive males who I have a great friendship with already. 

(in reply to colligocarus)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 7/8/2009 1:53:15 AM   
goodlittlegrl29


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Joined: 3/6/2007
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I have to say that this is a very good topic. I'm a switch and I've been struggling being a submissive in a long-term relationship. It's been hard to adjust to one a new relationship and two all the bad habits..that I acquired by being on my own. Sometimes I feel like my dom no matter how hard I try isn't happy or pleased with me because I'm not submissive enough. I just want to be myself within a relationship..but sometimes I feel I can't be. I have so many expectations that no matter what I do..will it ever be good enough for them. It's a struggle and one i wish I didn't have to have in a relationship. 

< Message edited by goodlittlegrl29 -- 7/8/2009 1:54:42 AM >

(in reply to colligocarus)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 7/17/2009 3:36:44 PM   
QuixoticOtaku


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
Just b/c someone is "bisexual" or "pan-attractional", doesn't mean that the person can't be monogamous.  To me, it's that the person's gender does not factor into whether I could be romantically involved with him/her/hir.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

I'm one of those who would have refused, just as I would have refused someone who is bisexual. Simply because I'm monogamous and looking for a long term relationship and there is no way that I would want to be with a partner I couldn't fulfill.

Being monogamous, it wouldn't work for me if they topped me, and were topped by someone else. Same as I couldn't fulfill a bisexual male's need for man on man sex.



(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 8/11/2009 4:23:15 AM   
KCalli


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeterEG

God do I hate the term "True Dom" or "True sub"
I am about 60/40 Dom/sub and the ones who call them self "True" are the ones who have no idea about what this life style is about. For them it's all about taking or giving control and not power exchange. If you want to be bullied or be a bully and make people do what you want or the other way around. That's fine, enjoy your self but that doesn't make you "True".
For me it is an exchange that has been agreed on .
For me the exchange can go either way.




I must say AMEN to that one. In my case (and newly discovered, I might say). As it was explained and shown to me, I submit myself entirely to my Dom, yet, there is a part of me, who is primal and I find myself hungering for a tasty little female sub. In that role I am dominant, totally. The energy given to me by her is flows through me to my Dom. A good thing, and I have found balance and contentment. In also serving my other side, I am more able to fully submit and give totally to my Dom.

(in reply to PeterEG)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 8/11/2009 4:42:44 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
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I've been hearing the "you're not true" line for 30 years. Along with the "you're just confused, you should decide" BS.

I've been a dual-natured person all my life, and from my earliest sexual encounters behaved like a switch, though I hadn't a clue what that term even meant.

A switch friend and I were talking the other day, and we determined many Doms find us  such a challenge, they have to bring up the you're not true or you're confused chestnut to make themselves feel better.

Why do Doms finds us such a challenge? I have no idea. Sometimes (probably most of the time), a switch is just a switch . . .


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(in reply to KCalli)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 8/11/2009 9:14:28 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been hearing the "you're not true" line for 30 years. Along with the "you're just confused, you should decide" BS.

I've been a dual-natured person all my life, and from my earliest sexual encounters behaved like a switch, though I hadn't a clue what that term even meant.

A switch friend and I were talking the other day, and we determined many Doms find usĀ  such a challenge, they have to bring up the you're not true or you're confused chestnut to make themselves feel better.



Why do Doms finds us such a challenge? I have no idea. Sometimes (probably most of the time), a switch is just a switch . . .



I honestly feel that we intimidate those that do the name calling daintydimples!
I mean, if we submit to there Dominance are we going to judge them? are we going to stop them half way though a scene and say 'hang on, let me teach you how to do that'? after all, we do know how to Dominate! we do understand what its all about and we are probably going to be a lot more picky and possibly judgmental. There own fear makes them throw the insults and coats there own fickle shell in the armor they need.

I spent years on the scene and met many experienced Dominants but not once in all those years did I desire to submit to any of them. I saw my own Dominace as stronger than theirs and why the hell am I going to submit to someone who doesn't have the ability to control me without me breaking his legs!
When S came along he wasn't at all intimidated by the fact that I was nearly all Dominant with a tiny iota of me wanting to submit. I never dreamt in my wildest dreams that I would taste submission in such depth because I never believed I would meet a man that could take me without fear and apprehension.

When I was only Dominant I was approached by so many 'Super Doms' that asked me for a secret session 'but please don't tell my sub' type of guys. All I can say is that I feel sorry for all those closet switches because they will never have the freedom that we have.


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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to daintydimples)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 8/11/2009 9:23:34 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeterEG

God do I hate the term "True Dom" or "True sub"





And I equally hate all that competition between them for brownie points.
It seems that so many couples have to constantly try and prove their submission/Dominance to the world and can't just enjoy what they have.

I always smile when people ask me the dreaded question 'what are you then?' I tell them that I am many things and more but its all too complex to explain.

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to PeterEG)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Not a 'true' Dom\sub because your a switch. - 8/16/2009 2:11:02 AM   
liljag


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline
I have been in this lifestyle for far too many years to count { was actually going to say but, most do not believe Me so I leave it at that lmao} anyways... I agree with several people here... the one that spoke of how one must decide and define what role they wish to play and with whom... keeping each seperated to keep confussion at bay... it is a very good thing but, I will say that even after a search for what seems almost centuries {lol} I have as yet to find a Man who can handle being a Dom to a switch with Her own poly house... it is very rare that One even handles the switch alone but, to ask Them to even think upon having to share in anyway with another...be it Dom/me or sub/slave...is absolutely unacceptable so far as I have taken note of in the long list of Jag polling throughout the years lol.

I also must say that I agree very much so with the one who spoke of how it is a good practice to get to know atleast a little bit of both sides... the reason that I say this is simply because...for a Dom...it helps for Them to know just how a sub/slave truely feels in such situations...and for a sub... the perspectives really change when you have to actually be the boss...

Now, I am not saying that I know it all...not by any means... and I am sure {atleast lol I hope} that Yyou Aall know that lmao... I guess I just wanted to put My 2 cents i there lol...-shrugs- give a bit -o - My Own knowledge in here.

(in reply to colligocarus)
Profile   Post #: 133
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