Your first time

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southernhart -> Your first time (11/18/2007 9:31:10 AM)
When You obtained Your first sub.slave and You were being dominant for the very first time in person. what were You feeling? What was going through Your head? Were You a little nervous or scared or did it just come naturally? i am asking because when i was with my Master for the first time. It was the most natural thing in the world and although i expected when it happened one day in real life that i would be scared, i wasn't. All i felt was my submission, his power and my love for him and his love for me.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Your first time (11/18/2007 12:09:37 PM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_585101/mpage_1/key_first/tm.htm#585192 first meeting http://www.collarchat.com/m_439524/mpage_1/key_first/tm.htm#439584 first meetings http://www.collarchat.com/m_220032/mpage_1/key_first/tm.htm#220044 first meeting with a dom http://www.collarchat.com/m_201573/mpage_1/key_first/tm.htm#201578 meeting the first time

CelticPrince -> RE: Your first time (11/18/2007 1:14:35 PM)
way too long ago to remember! CP

SensibleSam -> RE: Your first time (11/18/2007 1:19:52 PM)
Well first of all there was embarassment. I didn't have any proper equipment. I had no collars or leashs. I had to make do with rope. I had no whips, canes or floggers. I had to paddle her with a big wooden spoon. Now equipment doesn't matter so much but for my first couple subbies I felt distinctly under prepared. Then there was anxiety. I had read a lot of books and on-line articles and forums. I had read that many women complained that the Dom they had found was a 'would-be' or 'wanna-be' Dom. He was not the real thing at all. This bothered me quite a lot at first. Was it possible that I wasn't a real Dom? I felt like a Dom but perhaps I was deluded and would be found out. Fortunately I came across a couple ladies who were very experienced. Both of them required a lot of severe beating. They were both what is commonly called pain sluts. I asked one of then - with my heart in my throat - if I was a real 'Dom'. She said no - I stopped breathing - and then she said, "You are more of a Master". The other one made the same diagnosis just a little later and I haven't been concerned ever sense. Another cause for early anxiety was this whole switch business. One of the published BDSM gurus claims that in order to be a good Dom you but be a submissive every now and then. He claimed that the natural development of a Dom eventually led to a sudden desire to submit. So I had a new thing to worry about. I imagined that one day as I whipped a girl I would suddenly feel the need to be whipped myself. This prospect revolted me. However it occured to that this was like the teen age homosexual anxiety. Teen age boys experience a sudden overpowering need for hetro sex. They fear that a homo sex urge could also arise. After a decade or so most boys/men realize that it isn't going to happen if it hasn't happened yet. Similarly I became confortable that I wouldn't suddenly become a switch. The guru was an fool. The last emotion I felt was over powering excitement. Indeed my level of excitement was enough to endanger my life. In my first couple months as a Dom I would be so transported that I would get faint or woozy. I was afraid I would have a heart attack while on top of a woman who was chained to my bed - just like te Stephen King story. I saw a cardiologist and I got some medication that moderated my blood pressure response. Its never been quite the same in terms of excitement since then, but I haven't had a stroke either. My nervous system responds very powerfully to BDSM sex. So powerfully that I have to medicate myself to damp down my passion.

southernhart -> RE: Your first time (11/18/2007 1:39:35 PM)
Thank You for Your wonderful post. It is great to hear how the otherside feels and what they go through. Thanks again for Your wonderful detailed post.

Lumus -> RE: Your first time (11/18/2007 5:35:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: southernhart When You obtained Your first sub.slave and You were being dominant for the very first time in person. what were You feeling? What was going through Your head? Were You a little nervous or scared or did it just come naturally? i am asking because when i was with my Master for the first time. It was the most natural thing in the world and although i expected when it happened one day in real life that i would be scared, i wasn't. All i felt was my submission, his power and my love for him and his love for me. The first time I was consciously being a Dominant, it was after several very long talks with the woman whom I was with. She knew what she liked, what her limits were, and was very forthright. We'd already had sex, and frankly, it wasn't much different from what it was before...only a label was now attached to it.

Cloudz -> RE: Your first time (11/19/2007 7:08:25 AM)
It's been so long....but I do remember feeling exuberant and very very happy!

FangsNfeet -> RE: Your first time (11/19/2007 8:39:54 PM)
When you're ready you're ready. I became more kinky and confident with each relationship from bedroom stuff to taking charge of everything. So it's a little difficult to say when it was my first time and my first Real Time. Now for a funny story. While having a bondage rape scene I was called "Daddy" for the first time. Never being called Daddy before, I thought it as a Safe Word and stoped the scene right before the sub could have her orgasim.

angelphoto -> RE: Your first time (11/20/2007 1:47:42 PM)
That IS pretty funny. I suppose a new cardinal rule should be set that the word Daddy should never be used as a safe word. (that and... MORE) LOL.

angelphoto -> RE: Your first time (11/20/2007 1:51:57 PM)
I shuld also say that I'm glad I read this thread. I think I agree with Sam's findings. I too ask myself is being a Sub is a requriement for being a Dom. Similarly, I can't put myself in that position. I guess that in the end some people are comfortable with being slave or subs some like to be Doms and there are those who get turned on by both and simply switch. Sometimes when I read these posts about Wanna-bes I just think to myself that we're likely dealing with more of the pain-slut type and their just stating that they'd be disappointed to find someone who can't follow through to the point that they'd require. - A

IamJustMe2C -> RE: Your first time (11/20/2007 2:10:14 PM)
Its been so long ago I dont remember all the details I just remember the feeling. The power placed before me and the lust for more. It was a thirst I could not quench. It was a drug I knew right then and there that I would be adicted to for the rest of my life and I owed it all to this wonderful girl who was now at my feet. Her gift to me was more then her submission that night. It was a re-birth of my self. That night I found the piece of my life that I did not know was missing and as I put it back into place the world was magic again. The birds sang, the food had taste, and for the first time in years I could breath.

FRSguy -> RE: Your first time (11/20/2007 2:19:12 PM)
I somewhat afraid I would hurt her so I was more gentler than I should have been. I was afraid she was thinking I sounded foolish with some of things I said. I was shocked and I mean really shocked that a womans body could react the way hers did. I was excited because it was a dream come true. I had to keep telling myself "dont ask, dont ask". I had these little demons of thoughts crop up that I cant really explain. Afterwards I felt freeer than I have ever felt in life and new that this is the way it would be from now on and I could never be with a "vanilla" woman again.

laurell3 -> RE: Your first time (11/20/2007 2:21:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: southernhart When You obtained Your first sub.slave and You were being dominant for the very first time in person. what were You feeling? What was going through Your head? Were You a little nervous or scared or did it just come naturally? i am asking because when i was with my Master for the first time. It was the most natural thing in the world and although i expected when it happened one day in real life that i would be scared, i wasn't. All i felt was my submission, his power and my love for him and his love for me. For me, the first time topping someone isn't as exciting as it seems it would be. Not knowing their true limits and responses, other than what is said in conversation (which doesn't always equate to reality), means you spend alot of time concentrating, watching, asking and for me, worrying. That's not to say one doesn't do those things normally, however, the first time is a total unknown in many ways. I came to topping from about a decade of subbing and was suprised to find it ain't all that easy, in fact, in many ways, submitting for me, is much easier even when I'm being pushed. This is a great question by the way. I think it says alot of you as someone new that you are looking at the other side of the coin and their perspective. good luck!

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