TiNeedsHouseboy
Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: QueenRah
Please, let us know when you publish your memoirs, Ti. Rarely does one have the opportunity to read such eloquence on matters B, D, S or M.
quote:
ORIGINAL: saret
Not to mention thoughtful, analytical, and knowledgable.
I am constantly impressed by the level of insight she displays - and the ability to express it so aptly and so thoroughly.
TO: Rah (you're not revealing WHY that specific name was assigned? LOL) and Saret....
I appreciate the endorsement and interest. You are both also worthy reads on these boards, standing out from the inundation of air-headed (to be kind) posts.
As long as we're mentioning intriguing posters to whom I haven't cross-posted.... Lily, I look forward to reading more from you, too.
Back to the memoir remarks: Given that you're both insightful and articulate, I can't believe that you've read the other thread where the reference to my memoir exists, but you haven't posted a word on that thread!!!! (Shaking head and producing "Tsk! Tsk!" sounds.) I'm astounded by the number of hits on that thread vs. the utter lack (relative to readers) of participation. I never expected it to turn into a predominantly dyadic exchange between me 'n Steve/Euryanx.
Not sure why you've opted to insert my memoir into this thread, though it's coincidentally timely. Before plowing through why it's fitting, I want to reiterate a point from the original thread. Apparently, I didn't stress it sufficiently:
My memoir is NOT about B or D or S or M. (If you were hoping for a title in the realm of "Bedtime for Pervs," that aint gonna happen!) It is a book about me. D/s components are simply mirrors of the dynamic that existed between select chapters' male subjects and me. I would never want to see the book marketed as a BDSM title. To do so would be deceptive.
More importantly, it would be contrary to the spirit in which it was written: cultivation of a potentially mass market title. Trying to get a BDSM book onto the New York Times Best Seller list would be a tough nut to crack -- in the event I ever decide to assemble a book with that focus. (Please notice I'm not LOL'ing here.)
Why mentioning my memoir is timely:
(Duane, I'm not picking on you. You're simply a coincidence.)
Duane/Sarbonn's situation with his web pages floating eternally in cyberspace, not to mention the imposition this caused on his employment, is precisely the sort of situation that I intend to avoid, if at all possible. I'm bound to codes of ethical conduct which preclude public display of my personal life. Conduct codes aside, I've always been a private person. Though open with friends and significant others, I don't feel the need to put myself on display and/or be surrounded by a marching brass band, playing my tune into everyone's ears.
What does this imply? The day my book wends its way from digital to hard copy, making itself available to the public, few will know that I was the author. Exception: people in my feedback group of trusted readers -- and they're sworn to keep their mouths shut! BTW, they're another reflection that this is not a BDSM book. Though some of those readers are BDSM Lifestylers, most are not. They're simply a cross section of men and women, from all walks of life and sexual orientations/preferences.
Around a year ago, I had several interesting e-mail exchanges with a kink aware psychiatrist. We were discussing book publication and privacy matters. As it happens, he was the person I referenced in the thread about pro-male subs. (He was part of a pro-Domme's stable, plus he was collared to his wife.) We were kicking around dilemmas involving what happens when you publish extremely personal information under your legal name. Why? He, too, was pondering a memoir. His was not intended as a BDSM book either. Sure, it would have such components because they're part of his life -- albeit a major part -- but he is far more than just a submissive with a bunch of kinks.
Publishing the book, in and of itself, isn't the problem. It's the tie-in marketing and tabloids that can cause inordinate grief. You have to do interviews; you have to do book tours; you have to do author appearance/signings, etc. The issue of incognito appearances was key.
We shared awareness of how publication could potentially cause horrific consequences vis-a-vis conflicts with ethical conduct codes. Then, there are issues surrounding the implications for family members and friends and how they might get dragged into any negative fallout. Beyond that, for my situation, I have no clue how my landlord might decide he perceives me around lease renewal time if "perverts" don't fit with his notion of desirable tenants.
In short, one can only hope that the book will be marketed well enough so that you will hear about it and want to read it. If someone brings up a topic where I feel it's appropriate to recommend it as a resource, you just might find it appearing as one of my recommended readings. What you'll never know for certain is which, if any, of my suggestions might consist of material that I authored. Your only hope would be if you happened to match my writing style. Guess you could look for polysyllabic words.... though anyone with a decent vocabulary uses them thar big words.
Side note on vocabulary: My memoir's feedback group read a preliminary draft about a relationship I had with a physician. (No, it wasn't the psychiatrist in the above e-mail exchange -- before someone decides to post a smartass crack!) One reader remarked that "soccer moms" (his chosen term, not mine) would have a tough time navigating the chapter due to the reading level. I reminded him that the chapter reflected our intellectual intersection. There are other chapters that are on much -- ahem -- lower reading levels. To that end, I immediately provided one of the shorter chapters. It's a rather bizarre tale, in the grand scheme of things -- and without a single a pervy word to be had -- for the record. My "soccer mom" reader declared said chapter a pallet cleanser from prevailing gut-wrenching concepts, and understood that I was tailoring chapters' reading levels to each chapter's title person/action.
In any case, the memoir remains a work in progress. There are a couple of areas that are not flowing the way I want them to. If this was fiction, I could just rip up those areas and take it from a different perspective. Since there's no fiction involved, I'll just have to wait until the moment of inspiration hits that gets me past hurdles impeding my path.
~ Ti ~
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RE: Finding A Mistress - 
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I just appreciate reading posts that are considered, grammatically correct and contain properly spelled polysyllabics . 
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