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RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:29:12 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

So it's 5AM and I'm wide awake. I decide to wake puppy up for a little early morning service. Her reaction, quite simply, is unacceptable. Due to situational constraints, corporal punishment is not an option at such an early hour. (we live in neighboring states and are at her apartment because she's got to work in the morning. her father, for some unknown reason, is asleep on the couch just outside the door.) In an effort to avoid making too much noise, I decide to place her on her knees facing the corner in the hopes that she'll soon realize her mistakes and attempt to make amends. This doesn't happen, of course and soon she's throwing a little fit about being woken up. (she's never been a morning person) Not wanting the situation to escalate, because of potential noise and the father outside the door, I decide to send her back to bed and tell her that she's displeased me and will be expected to make it up to me later. this stupid, stupid puppy has the balls to say 'you better not wake me up at 8am' my response, quite naturally, is 'ok, I'll see you at 7, then.' Was this a mistake on my part? Normally, I'd just take her at this point, regardless of her protests and her attitude would be dealt with. After all, her purpose is to please me, which certainly doesn't include throwing a fit about being woken up. We've found ourselves in similar situations before and afterwards she breaks down and apologizes for the way she acted and expects that to be sufficient. This is a trend I wish to end, so..I'm looking for any advice that may lead to a solution. Keep in mind, noise will have to be a factor. Although I could wake her up with a gag..
Your thoughts?


Kick the stupid bitch to the curb, and get a sub that puts more than lip service into her service.

_____________________________

You never know your limits, until you push them
If slavery is a gift, the Africans were pretty fucking generous in the 1700 and 1800s, weren't they?

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 261
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:29:40 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

quote:

Oh I'm just waiting to see if he agrees that the d-types who post in "Ask a Submissive/Slave" should have their mouths filled as well or if he suggests we run the owners out with pitchforks.

not at all. However, if you don't have anything valuable to contribute then why bother wasting your time when you weren't asked in the first place?


Funny. You were respectful and polite when I pointed out how you rewarded her bad behavior.

And, by the way, if you want to keep us submissives from answering your questions find a different forum. The mods have out and out said they don't care and I don't submit to anyone but Valyraen. Which means I don't care where you want me to post.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2007 5:31:09 PM >


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 262
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:33:16 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

Sooo...what would you have done if, instead of growling at you like someone who'd just been woken out of a sound sleep, she'd actually have had the presence of mind to safeword? Would you have continued regardless of the word used? Or would you have stopped?juliet

OH Please...use her safe word to keep from serving - just because he woke her up earlier than she wanted?  That isn't a "safe" word then - it is a "get out of Jail Free" card.
 


< Message edited by Invictus754 -- 11/29/2007 5:34:08 PM >


_____________________________

You never know your limits, until you push them
If slavery is a gift, the Africans were pretty fucking generous in the 1700 and 1800s, weren't they?

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 263
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:36:31 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
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quote:

Funny. You were respectful and polite when I pointed out how you rewarded her bad behavior.

And, by the way, if you want to keep us submissives from answering your questions find a different forum. The mods have out and out said they don't care and I don't submit to anyone but Valyraen. Which means I don't care where you want me to post.


you misinterpret me. I'm not saying that I don't want to hear from slave/subs or anyone else at all. By all means, if you've got something of substance to contribute then feel free to share it. My question is; if you DO NOT have anything worthwhile to contribute, why bother?

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 264
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:38:39 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

quote:

Funny. You were respectful and polite when I pointed out how you rewarded her bad behavior.

And, by the way, if you want to keep us submissives from answering your questions find a different forum. The mods have out and out said they don't care and I don't submit to anyone but Valyraen. Which means I don't care where you want me to post.


you misinterpret me. I'm not saying that I don't want to hear from slave/subs or anyone else at all. By all means, if you've got something of substance to contribute then feel free to share it. My question is; if you DO NOT have anything worthwhile to contribute, why bother?


Who says you get to define what is worthwhile? Is it only what agrees with you? Why, if someone posts something not worthwhile, do you suddenly get to be insulting and rude?

I don't think your comment about her being cuter with her mouth full was worthwhile. It certainly didn't add to the discussion whereas at least her post pointed out that if you (the general you, not directed at anyone!) can't handle a submissive/slave with issues don't try.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/29/2007 5:41:46 PM >


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 265
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:42:15 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline
Quick reply to all:
 
Is she bi-polar, or mentally retarded?  If she is bi-polar and has all of her mental faculties, she VOLUNTEERED  for this type of behavior, and shouldn't bitch that the person she submitted to woke her up at an odd hour. 
 
 If she chooses by her own free will to submit with a disorder - it was her choice.  He shouldn't have to pussyfoot around worrying if she is too fragile to wake up early.
 
If her situation is so delicate - she shouldn't be in this lifestyle. 
 
My advice again - to the curb.  Maybe she'll think about it before she submits again.

_____________________________

You never know your limits, until you push them
If slavery is a gift, the Africans were pretty fucking generous in the 1700 and 1800s, weren't they?

(in reply to fsub4use)
Profile   Post #: 266
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:44:16 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

One would assume CD that you would not get into a TPE situation with someone that has an untreated mental disorder and would not condone another for attempting to use that dynamic in lieu of therapy and medical treatment.


What do you see here that is so worthwhile? it contributes absolutely nothing to the topic, offers no great insight, advice, nor asks any worthy question. The only thing it does is illustrate the fact that she hasn't read the previous posts.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 267
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:44:25 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Honestly I don't blame him for being angry about it.  It's something he's frustrated with and he does seem to care about her, although about 24 hours ago he did call her a piece of shit and said he doesn't care about her needs, and he does seem to respond inappropriately when challenged at all, so who knows?  However, the simple fact remains right now d/s and/or bdsm is not something this girl needs.  Professional help and lots of it and to do it for HER is what she needs.

Edited to add:  I did in fact read all the posts, you seem to ignore the ones where you spout off about how horrible she is for having an untreated mental illness.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 11/29/2007 5:45:44 PM >


_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 268
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:50:04 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

quote:

One would assume CD that you would not get into a TPE situation with someone that has an untreated mental disorder and would not condone another for attempting to use that dynamic in lieu of therapy and medical treatment.


What do you see here that is so worthwhile? it contributes absolutely nothing to the topic, offers no great insight, advice, nor asks any worthy question. The only thing it does is illustrate the fact that she hasn't read the previous posts.


It was not directed at you. It was directed at CD, making the comment that he probably wouldn't take someone with an untreated mental disorder under his wing because of the way he feels.

It does contribute to the topic. Masters and owners really shouldn't take on submissives and slaves they simply can not handle for whatever reason. There is no shame in that. I have had to turn people down because I could not handle their issues and would do them a disservice by trying. I have been turned down because people couldn't handle my issues - they did me a favor by turning me down.

Regardless of if you think this particular post was worthwhile, it was certainly more so than your choice remark which was childish, immature and reminds me more of schoolchildren than a grown man trying to help a woman he loves.

I still strongly agree with Michael - you would serve yourself well to get some help yourself.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 269
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:53:21 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Edited to add: I did in fact read all the posts, you seem to ignore the ones where you spout off about how horrible she is for having an untreated mental illness.


And you seem to ignore the post where I say that I wasn't fully aware of the magnitude of the problem until this thread had already blown up.

At any rate, all of this seems rather redundant. For me to argue with people who could offer much more than a condescending post, and for you to continually get on my ass for finding myself in a tough spot is just silly. All of us are capable of being a little more productive at the moment, so..let's end the nonsense.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 270
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:53:54 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Honestly I don't blame him for being angry about it.  It's something he's frustrated with and he does seem to care about her, although about 24 hours ago he did call her a piece of shit and said he doesn't care about her needs, and he does seem to respond inappropriately when challenged at all, so who knows?  However, the simple fact remains right now d/s and/or bdsm is not something this girl needs.  Professional help and lots of it and to do it for HER is what she needs.

Edited to add:  I did in fact read all the posts, you seem to ignore the ones where you spout off about how horrible she is for having an untreated mental illness.


As I've said... people aren't always ready for what they want. Plenty of vanilla folks have to work through issues before a commitment, why would we expect things to be different here? I'm sure that she will find her way in time.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 271
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:53:54 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

Honestly, laurell, do you have a problem absorbing information or are you just that miserable in life that you feel compelled to belittle everyone else? Both this thread and my other thread state very clearly that she will be seeing a specialist. she has an appointment tomorrow.
Notice that this thread is posted in the 'Ask a Master' section and not 'Ask a submissive/slave'. If you don't have anything valuable to contribute, remain silent. you're probably much cuter with your mouth shut (or full) anyway.

Do yourself a favor, Twistd, and back off.  Like Michael a few pages ago, I felt sorry for you for a while.  You've talked me out of it.

Laurel is too classy to defend herself.  I'm not quite so high-road I guess.  It is a SCIENTIFIC FACT that she is qualified to discuss and advise about relationship problems.  How I know this is none of your business, but trust me that every time you say she doesn't know what she's talking about it makes you look dumber and dumber.

A real Dom in this situation would apologize.  We're all about to see how real you are.

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 272
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:55:12 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic
At any rate, all of this seems rather redundant. For me to argue with people who could offer much more than a condescending post, and for you to continually get on my ass for finding myself in a tough spot is just silly. All of us are capable of being a little more productive at the moment, so..let's end the nonsense.


Wonderful. I take it you'll be refraining from the "cuter with a full mouth" comments from now on?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 273
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 5:58:40 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
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quote:

Wonderful. I take it you'll be refraining from the "cuter with a full mouth" comments from now on?

Indeed. I was out of line with that comment and for that I apologize.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 274
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 6:01:19 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
Thank you I appreciate it.  As I said before, I don't doubt that you care for her and I know this is a tough situation.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 275
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 6:04:49 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
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TwiztdErotic,
 
Something just occured to me....You do know that if You end the BDSM side of the relationship with this girl You are not abandoning her right? i mean You do know that the fact that the healthiest thing for the both of You being to let each other heal and grow, has nothing to do with Your worth as a person, a man, or a dom, right? You also know that the fact that You can't "fix" her or "help her" the way that she needs to be helped has nothing to do with You as well.....Right?
Kalista

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 276
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 6:49:09 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

TwiztdErotic,

Something just occured to me....You do know that if You end the BDSM side of the relationship with this girl You are not abandoning her right? i mean You do know that the fact that the healthiest thing for the both of You being to let each other heal and grow, has nothing to do with Your worth as a person, a man, or a dom, right? You also know that the fact that You can't "fix" her or "help her" the way that she needs to be helped has nothing to do with You as well.....Right?
Kalista


Kali,

Taking a break from D/s and taking some time to focus on ourselves is something that's been brought up between us quite a few times already. It is not something that I am opposed to, as I have felt it is what was needed for some time. It is due to her desire and perhaps even need for guidance, direction and oversight that has caused us to come back to it again and again. Let's be honest, it's not the easiest thing to refuse the submission of someone you love, especially when you know her so well and have seen what happens when she's left to her own devices. We've had this talk several times over the last few days and she seems hellbent on keeping some level of D/s in our relationship. she feels that it, along with professional help and an active effort to get better will help her. I would like to believe that it would, although I do know that she may not know what's best for herself. I know that I can't fix her all by myself, but I refuse to believe that I can't help at all. As for any of this having to do with myself as a man, dom or a person, that's never been one of my concerns. Honestly, I'm not too worried about myself in this situation.

There's been some talk about there being a pattern, having found another girl much like my first slave. This happened quite by accident. puppy and I met in a vanilla setting and clicked on virtually every level before we'd even realized that we were both into BDSM. None of her issues were apparent at that time and by the time I'd begun to see the similarities between the two of them, it was too late to turn back.

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 277
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 6:53:05 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

quote:

Edited to add: I did in fact read all the posts, you seem to ignore the ones where you spout off about how horrible she is for having an untreated mental illness.


And you seem to ignore the post where I say that I wasn't fully aware of the magnitude of the problem until this thread had already blown up.

At any rate, all of this seems rather redundant. For me to argue with people who could offer much more than a condescending post, and for you to continually get on my ass for finding myself in a tough spot is just silly. All of us are capable of being a little more productive at the moment, so..let's end the nonsense.


I would like to know what you are doing to help this young lady? Have you made phone calls? Have you researched the next step to finding her help? Even if she is not going to be your sub anymore, perhaps it would be somewhat kind of you to help her get stable. I would do that much for a dog I owned, much less a human being.

And next time you want to call someone a piece of shit, think about this thread.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 278
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 6:55:53 PM   
TwiztdErotic


Posts: 155
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline
julia, I really don't want to have to repeat myself over and over again. all of that has been covered, whether it be in this thread or another..please take a look around and then if you need something clarified, I'd be happy to answer.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 279
RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/29/2007 6:57:15 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

Kali,

Taking a break from D/s and taking some time to focus on ourselves is something that's been brought up between us quite a few times already. It is not something that I am opposed to, as I have felt it is what was needed for some time. It is due to her desire and perhaps even need for guidance, direction and oversight that has caused us to come back to it again and again. Let's be honest, it's not the easiest thing to refuse the submission of someone you love, especially when you know her so well and have seen what happens when she's left to her own devices. We've had this talk several times over the last few days and she seems hellbent on keeping some level of D/s in our relationship. she feels that it, along with professional help and an active effort to get better will help her. I would like to believe that it would, although I do know that she may not know what's best for herself. I know that I can't fix her all by myself, but I refuse to believe that I can't help at all. As for any of this having to do with myself as a man, dom or a person, that's never been one of my concerns. Honestly, I'm not too worried about myself in this situation.


This would be something to talk about with a kink-friendly therapist. Relationships take a lot of work and so does training. I know from experience that it is difficult to juggle these things while working on mental disorders as well.

While you can help, it would almost certainly be best if you do so simply as a supportive partner. There is very little that you can actually do except be there for her when she needs you. Talking to kink friendly therapist might help you establish how to do this. It isn't going to be easy on you and there are going to be times where you simply aren't going to get what you want even though you are the dominant. Talking to a therapist could also help with that.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)
Profile   Post #: 280
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