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open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:02:41 AM

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So it's 5AM and I'm wide awake. I decide to wake puppy up for a little early morning service. Her reaction, quite simply, is unacceptable. Due to situational constraints, corporal punishment is not an option at such an early hour. (we live in neighboring states and are at her apartment because she's got to work in the morning. her father, for some unknown reason, is asleep on the couch just outside the door.) In an effort to avoid making too much noise, I decide to place her on her knees facing the corner in the hopes that she'll soon realize her mistakes and attempt to make amends. This doesn't happen, of course and soon she's throwing a little fit about being woken up. (she's never been a morning person) Not wanting the situation to escalate, because of potential noise and the father outside the door, I decide to send her back to bed and tell her that she's displeased me and will be expected to make it up to me later. this stupid, stupid puppy has the balls to say 'you better not wake me up at 8am' my response, quite naturally, is 'ok, I'll see you at 7, then.' Was this a mistake on my part? Normally, I'd just take her at this point, regardless of her protests and her attitude would be dealt with. After all, her purpose is to please me, which certainly doesn't include throwing a fit about being woken up. We've found ourselves in similar situations before and afterwards she breaks down and apologizes for the way she acted and expects that to be sufficient. This is a trend I wish to end, so..I'm looking for any advice that may lead to a solution. Keep in mind, noise will have to be a factor. Although I could wake her up with a gag..
Your thoughts?

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:09:51 AM

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wonders why You would wake up Your puppy and expect her to be ready when You know she is not a morning person and her father is right outside the door... i mean, the purpose of a sub/slave/pet whatever is of course to please, but um well that is kind of whim thing on Your part... (i am a morning person and if my Dom wanted something from me at 1 in the morning, i'd fall asleep while doing whatever He wanted me to do and if my mom or dad was on the other side of the door, i'd freeze up at any hour). *remembers the term "choose Your battles."

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:14:04 AM

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While I do know that she is not a morning person, I do expect her to be able to put her personal preferences aside and do what I am asking of her, at any hour.

(in reply to fsub4use)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:21:42 AM

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I look at it this way..If I had a dog and I woke up at 3am and decided to take my dog out for a run, what would happen? The dog would wake up, wag his/her little tail and happily run alongside me. If it barked at me every time I woke it up, or attempted to play fetch, I wouldn't have much incentive to keep the dog, would I? Why then, should the situation differ to such an extreme degree with my puppyslut?

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:32:34 AM

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Sooo...what would you have done if, instead of growling at you like someone who'd just been woken out of a sound sleep, she'd actually have had the presence of mind to safeword? Would you have continued regardless of the word used? Or would you have stopped?

Cause here's the thing, if you'd stop if she safeworded, then why was is so much more difficult to stop when she was growling about being woken up? Or is it just the attitude she expressed upon waking (which you knew about regarding her being a morning person and all...).

And if she safeworded and you continued, um... what's that called?... oh yea...the R- word...

OR..

Considering that this is not just a onetime reaction, but has happened before, you might want to consider a different way of waking her up so as not to create a situation wherein she reacts so darn negatively.

I'm sure there are other ways of dealing with this, but I'm way too preoccupied with the idea that you punished her for actions of hers that occurred when she wasn't awake enough to be fully cognizant of what she was doing or saying.

I'm living in a house full of people who are not morning people and after years of trying to change them, I now just send them back to their rooms with the order that if they can't be polite then they need to be back in bed. If they are truly awake, then they take the time to work through that groggy period in the morning that causes the growls. If they aren't they go back to sleep practically before they hit the bed.

And I do understand the concept of being ready when you are, but it just may be that in order for you to get "yours" when you want it, you may have to fight your way through the morning growlies.

Or at least pick a time when her father's not sleeping right outside your door for goodness sake!!! Some things are just more important than you getting yours and Dads in the living room rank right up there at the top end of importance - whether you like it or not - if for no other reason than that's still his daughter you've got there and ain't no one mad like a dad mad over the treatment of his daughter...

Personally, I'd have considered letting her sleep to be an exercise in self-preservation - for at least that day.

juliet

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:45:57 AM

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We have chosen a TPE lifestyle and therefore she does not have a safeword. However, had she put the attitude aside I would have made it very easy for her and she'd be back asleep in no time at all. I hardly feel placing her in a corner to quietly contemplate the situation is any form of extreme punishment..indeed I feel it was exactly what was needed. As for the manner with which she was woken..I was actually very sweet about it. That's partially why her reaction irritated me so much.

(in reply to julietsierra)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:54:09 AM

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i would have negotiated before going to bed for the night if i felt that a family member sleeping over and my having to go to work the next morning would in some way inhibit my ability to serve early in the morning.

But for me, knowing that it is not my decision when i will be used is just part of my being slave. my Master needs me when He needs me. It is my need to feel necessary that makes me who and what i am. His need may not be convenient for me, but do i really want a relationship based on my convenience? No, i do not.

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(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 3:59:33 AM

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They say absense makes the heart grow fonder....... what about a period of no contact ?

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(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 4:11:17 AM

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Well thank you, eyes. that's the attitude I wish to see in my slave.
Her and I had both fallen asleep very early last night, by the time I woke up at 5, we had already been asleep for close to 9 hours. Because of this, I cannot give too much credit to a lack of sleep being to blame. Yes, I know she's not a morning person..I understand this. But, I don't feel the time of day is to blame. This sort of thing has happened at virtually every hour of the day, the problem lies not in the situation, but in her views towards serving my desires. I have made it very clear to her what is expected of her and what I want out of my slave. If she cannot perform as i require, she is more than free to leave. But, she doesn't want that. she has begged and pleaded for the opportunity to serve me..
So, here I am..waiting for the service to begin, instead..I receive attitude and bullshit.

(in reply to eyesopened)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 4:13:23 AM

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We've had a period of no contact already. it is due to her begging and pleading that she was given the opportunity to serve again.

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 4:20:49 AM

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Then it sounds very much like it's just not a good fit. A "slave" who begs to serve but only at her convenience and only when she feels like it and only the service she wants to perform.... in my opinion is not a slave. Nothing wrong at all with having play partners who are Top/bottom, not every relationship in bdsm has to be Master/slave to be a good relationship. It may be that the two of you aren't moving in the same direction.

_____________________________

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(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 4:23:26 AM

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This is where fantasy meets reality. If you knew your car was a four cylinder sedan, would you be upset if she didn't win a race with a V8 sportster? Work with what you've got; your slave has limitations, as do you.

Master Fire

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(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 5:08:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwiztdErotic

this stupid, stupid puppy has the balls to say 'you better not wake me up at 8am' my response, quite naturally, is 'ok, I'll see you at 7, then.' Was this a mistake on my part?

Your thoughts?

~LOL~ I LOVE that response! It falls under the category "What to expect when you give orders to your Dom". Perfect and beautiful there, Twiztd. I hope you did exactly what you threatened (otherwise you just taught her to manipulate you).

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 6:07:19 AM

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yep, sounds like all the fun of being young and inexperienced. Twiztd, if you really want to make her yours, you might try something like Internal Slavery (it's a UK site), but it'll take time and work. Before going whole-hog there though, ya might wanna evaluate the times she pleads that she really wants to serve you (like what you were doing and what you did after), versus the times you say that she growls and acts like a brat. I'd have to say there is some definite confusion about what M/s is about here. Maybe you should have spent more time with a mentor first?

I'm sure the presence of the father is obvious, either she or he or both don't trust what you'll do, so he's there as her watch dog. Worked pretty good it'd seem, and she effectively black-mailed you with him. *laughs* Though if I'd been in that situation, I wouldn't have been trying to have sex with the chick with her father right outside the door either.

(in reply to batshalom)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 7:16:27 AM

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sounds like your puppy is wagging your tail.
You seem to have some serious communication issues, Just because she is your sub does not mean you control every part of her. If you know she is not a morning person then you are heading for conflict - just like now when you come crying to these boards. I suggest you get to know her better and mutually learn what it is you want and do not want.

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RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 7:38:56 AM

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it seems there was a little bit of confusion in regards to her father. she didn't ask him to be there, nor did she want him to be. my guess is that he is having relationship issues and has nowhere else to crash.

As for internal slavery, that's something I had looked into a little bit in the past and have totally forgotten about, thank you for the reminder.
The difference between the times she pleads and the time she acts like a brat are simple..when I'm not around and don't want to deal with her bullshit, she pleads. when it comes time to act, she whines.

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 7:46:25 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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she's not a morning and has to work in the morning ...PLUS her dad is at HER apartment, you should some consideration to your spoiled "she's suppose to please me anytime i want" attitude.

that's my opinion and i'm sticking it

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(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 7:50:57 AM

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I am confused about what the dynamic is between the two of you.

If she is a slave, then I would say her behavior is completely unacceptable... at least from my understanding of an M/s relationship.

If she is a puppy, then whatever behavior the alpha cannot control is acceptable. You couldn't control her behavior, so how did she do anything wrong?

Is she puppy or slave?

Knight's Kyra

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(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 7:50:57 AM

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*edited to remove my comment about the father thing-- you finally mentioned it.*

I just see you as a very immature and selfish person. Maybe you aren't, but that's what your posts sound like to me.

Good luck with that situation. I would suggest to let sleeping dogs lay-- they sometimes bite when unexpectedly startled.

< Message edited by MamaDomme -- 11/25/2007 7:52:31 AM >

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

RE: open for response until 7am est - 11/25/2007 7:51:18 AM

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Dear TwiztdErotic, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I feel strongly about having slaves in service with me when they are with their relatives, to be as discreet as possible when relatives are around. For one, this slave might not be out to their relative and blood is thicker than an outsider.

It is also between father and his young's business as to why they are together. There might be a lot of family issues, stress and concerns and sometimes a Dominant has to be considerate and compassionate. Not flexing muscles for the sake of needing to be controlling or masterful. I personally take a back seat and let father and his young one work out what needs to be done and problem solve. Better yet, I would have gone home--as it is awkward to have a parent around as well as having to deal with a Dominant.

I think the 'snap' you're experience is more from frustration than 'disrespect'--clearly, having a father on a couch is something that is cramping the style. Sleep so precious--I'd be willing to take care of myself as to permit all the rest a slave of mine can get.

I will add, that I do not collar 'brats.' When there is a bad match--its time to part company with grace and dignity--there are those who enjoy brat types and some do not; this is why I do not speak ill of a bad match unless they go beyond and are dangerous as far as mental and or physical as to approach criminal/civil law violations, e.g. assault, property damage, theft, etc.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

< Message edited by LadyHugs -- 11/25/2007 8:02:43 AM >

(in reply to TwiztdErotic)

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