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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Any other good ones? Subs, have you ever responded less than gracefully to rejection? Ever said anything you regretted?

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ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

Oh... And there was this one icky Dom who had some rather strange ideas about what I needed. He elaborated with about forty lines of shoddily composed text. At first I really wanted to boil over and toss a searing reply his way but I figured if he was going to get a verbal humiliation session out of me he ought to be paying for the pleasure - so I instead wrote back with red pen corrections. He replied in a surly fashion, "thakn u madam typin teachr". I guess my lesson failed to penetrate.

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ORIGINAL: JillsBelly

When I rejected a dom (in a nice way), after sending him 20 photo's and a webpage link with free video clips of me....he say's "Your a GUY" "you suck" I just don't get it...
I was just about to tell him that I will meet him after thinking about it for a while.

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ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia



Apparently he wanted a rich, American bride to use and abuse him as a poor pool boy of

.

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

Well this probably comes under dommes what not to do.

i met this woman from the west coast on here sometime back. we emailed, exchanged pics, talked on the phone, and seemed really compatible with one another.

well one thing led to the next and we agreed to meet up. Well she had to fly to texas and just made a detour here and then back to the west coast so we agreed to split the bill for the airfare.

So here i am happy as a lark thinking about what i wonderful time i was going have with this woman.

Ok so its time to go to the airport. i go in, i walk right past her, i mean within 3 feet in front of her, looked directly at her, and then right past her because i did not see anyone that looked like the pics i was sent. Then a couple steps later i hear a voice saying are you xxxx, and i turn around and say yes, as my heart sank and fell completely out of my azz.

Since she is still on cm lets just say she is tall and advertised herself to be 175 and the pics she sent confirmed that, however the body she sent was closer to 300 maybe more.

Now if that was not enough, all she "really" wanted was sex, and the straw that broke the camels back was when my unsuspecting brother called up, she answered the phone, rather than to tell him i was indisposed, she read him the riot act for interupting her time here with me. ahem...

My brother called me up and said WTF did you f*cking bring home wiht you? are you totally out of your f*cking mind xxxx? geeezus keee rist and on and on and on. She had my laid back brother ready to strangle both of us!

Now by this point i was out of my mind livid and trying desparately to contain myself. i went though the house and disconnected all the phones but one portable that i carried around with me from then on!

She had 2 days left to stay and i was counting the seconds to get her out of here and finally the time to take her to the airport arrived. WOOHOO

After all that i think my mouth dropped to the floor when she actually sat there in the car and looked at me and started to talk about coming back, well me being the straight up sort of guy that i am and not to tactful obviously, i might add, said, well i dont really think we are compatible.

What i got next shocked me. it wasnt a domme one liner but a domme mega liner, i mean she screamed every cus word i knew plus a few i did not know including calling me a fake, cheat, and a user and anything else she could think of to try and hurt me, even tho i just handed her my half of her travel expenses as agreed, even tho she totally misrepresented herself. Other domme friends i have told me i was nuts for pitching in but an agreement is an agreement and i stand by my agreements. i would rather be known for standing by my word and being stoopid than as someone who is not trustworth.

Anyway folks the moral of the story is that its not only men who suffer from rejection, women that is domme women or otherwise can be just as bad and possibly even worse, and it just goes to show you that being a jerk is not gender, or status specific.

i have several bdsm horror stories but that one was a real show stopper. to this day i gasp when i think about what was all said to my brother, and my family does not know about my lifestyle so you can imagine, it was a very nerve racking experience for me.

r1

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Were you having sex with her when your brother called?

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Or were you tied up?

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Why didn't you cut the trip short with her once you realized she wasn't want you wanted/expected?

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By continuing the trip she might have gotten the impression you were pleased with her.

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And this is a reminder to all: Don't make arrangements to STAY with someone you have never met. Have a hotel ready, or a friend to stay with. You can't assume there will be chemistry.

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Were you having sex with her when your brother called?

no

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Or were you tied up?

no
i was 2 rooms away

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Why didn't you cut the trip short with her once you realized she wasn't want you wanted/expected?

Because she would have had to pay for a motel

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By continuing the trip she might have gotten the impression you were pleased with her.

well it was for a very short 3 days and i told her that i felt answering my phone and talking to my brother was inappropriate. i suppose if someone needs to get in a fist fight or kicked out on their tail to get the point across i suppose that would make it more obvious. she knew there was tension but i cannot hazzard a guess as to what she was thinking. put in the same situation and reversed, well first off i would never do anything like that but say if i did i would be expecting the boot and if not the boot i would know it was a done deal and i was no longer on the docket.

quote:


And this is a reminder to all: Don't make arrangements to STAY with someone you have never met. Have a hotel ready, or a friend to stay with. You can't assume there will be chemistry.

well i dont entirely agree with this, i mean sure bring along enough plastic so if things do go bad and you need to get out that you can go to a hotel, but i have met people and discovered there was no chemistry or vice versa and they continued to stay here or me there with them and we always had fun. Its like spending a weekend with my sister then, no biggie if there is no chemistry, i still show them a good time, and we have fun, we just goof off and do nilla things, have a few laughs and part friends. this was one of only 2 times things went seriously and nasty bad for me. you only really need a hotel if things go bad imo. otherwise it has never been a problem and i and the potential always had fun in the end regardless of over all chemistry. of course give friends the address and name of the person you are going to see. thats just common sense.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

She came out there, only wanting "sex" which you did not give her, you had her stay in another room, you never did any bdsm, and then she asked if you wanted her to come out again and stay with you again? I would assume there was no snuggling and no talks of "how online-to-real-life" was working out well, so why on earth would she do anything other than try to get out of there as soon as possible? Was she having a nice time staying in another room, alone, not being affectionate with you, not doing any of the bdsm (that I assumed you both thought would happen), and answering your phone?

Why did she think anything was going in the right direction? This is an odd story indeed.

Akasha

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

She came out there, only wanting "sex" which you did not give her, you had her stay in another room, you never did any bdsm, and then she asked if you wanted her to come out again and stay with you again? I would assume there was no snuggling and no talks of "how online-to-real-life" was working out well, so why on earth would she do anything other than try to get out of there as soon as possible? Was she having a nice time staying in another room, alone, not being affectionate with you, not doing any of the bdsm (that I assumed you both thought would happen), and answering your phone?

Why did she think anything was going in the right direction? This is an odd story indeed.

Akasha

i guess i should know better than to post real life detailed events on here because now you and everyone else will need to put it all into your little meat grinders and sift thru to find anything that does not make sense to you or sit right with you and expect me to have all the answers and speak for what was going through her mind. well i dont and i wont. as for the sex statement strike it and i wont presume anything.


i have no idea how you came to the conclusion that:

1) your quote: you had her stay in another room,
2) your quote: Was she having a nice time staying in another room, alone,

from: your quote: Or were you tied up?
From my quote: no, i was 2 rooms away

This is precisely why i took my profile offline.

if you care to actually take the time to read what i said maybe it will help you obtain a better understanding of the circumstances i am trying to convey here.

i will make one final attempt to help you get a good picture of the events as they happened and then i am moving on to something else.

Her and i spent the greater part of the day together before the phone thing happened.
i was doing something in another room at the time and did not hear the phone ring
i was accomodating with her with anything she wished to do that was plutonic
i was friendly but gaurded and making the best out of a somewhat uncomfortable situation
No we did not sleep in different rooms
No we did not do bdsm
No we did not snuggle
Yes 2 people can sleep like perfect strangers in the same bed
she did what she whatever she felt like doing on her stay here which was to spend the majority of her time on the computer upstairs chatting and i conducted business and whatever i needed to do for the following 2 days
yes i was friendly with her, treated her nicely and respectful but with nothing more in it than hosting my sister, very friendly but slightly gaurded attitude in this case.
yes i was a good host and made her feel as comfortable as i could under the circumstances. possibly too comfortable.
i did things with her that she wanted to do around town like i would with anyone else chemistry or not.
i felt she had a good time for the most part.
i am a very friendly person and i have the ability to shelf things to keep the peace.
i like to feel comfortable and i go out of my way to make others feel comfortable around me including her

To simplify this since it is not important any how i have stricken my statement about sex from this record and i stand corrected to say i know nothing what her possible motives if any were.

dont ask me why she did what she did, i was more shocked to have it happen to me than you are to hear about it. i dont dwell on it because it does still make me a little angry.

So here it all is take it for what it is worth because i really prefer not to regurgitate this over and over. you now know what i know about it.

Why she did anything she did from day 1 i have no clu and frankly i wont waste my time speculating because frankly its yesterday and yesterday is gone and i did not know the answers yesterday and i certainly am not going to know them today. aside from that i really dont care. i put this up here so you could learn that women, that is domme women in this case can be equally as big of a jerk when being rejected as a man can and possibly even more.

sift to your hearts content but please take the time to understand what you are reading first.

rgds
r1

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



The thread was about worst rejection reactions online when a sub who doesn't even know the femdom completely insults here when she states that she isn't interested.

Your post was about having a femdom (who you admit you had a pretty good thing going on for while on email/phone) come STAY with you for a few days and how she blew up at you when you took her back to the airport and told her you wouldn't be interested in having her over again.

BDSM is all about communication. My point was that it seemed odd you would never have cleared that up with her the moment you knew it wasn't going anywhere. Sure, you could have still had her stay with you, but she clearly thought things were going in some positive direction after all those days. You do have a responsibility to be up front with her so she knew well before the trip back to the airport that you were NOT interested -- in any fashion. You wasted her time.

Perhaps she blew up at you because she felt that she could have spent the days better elsewhere?

Your story doesn't add up. There are two sides of every story, it would be interesting to hear hers, but I know we won't.

Akasha

For someone who cant even add up the sleeping arrangements correctly you have the gall to lecture me and accuse me of being irresponsible when the fact of the matter is that you dont know jack sh*t about what you are talking about?

Do tell me more of what she was "clearly" thinking?

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

She came out there, only wanting "sex" which you did not give her, you had her stay in another room, you never did any bdsm, and then she asked if you wanted her to come out again and stay with you again? I would assume there was no snuggling and no talks of "how online-to-real-life" was working out well, so why on earth would she do anything other than try to get out of there as soon as possible? Was she having a nice time staying in another room, alone, not being affectionate with you, not doing any of the bdsm (that I assumed you both thought would happen), and answering your phone?

Why did she think anything was going in the right direction? This is an odd story indeed.

Akasha

ORGINAL: Real0ne
To simplify this since it is not important any how i have stricken my statement about sex from this record and i stand corrected to say i know nothing what her possible motives if any were.

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

The thread was about worst rejection reactions online when a sub who doesn't even know the femdom completely insults here when she states that she isn't interested.

Your post was about having a femdom (who you admit you had a pretty good thing going on for while on email/phone) come STAY with you for a few days and how she blew up at you when you took her back to the airport and told her you wouldn't be interested in having her over again.

BDSM is all about communication. My point was that it seemed odd you would never have cleared that up with her the moment you knew it wasn't going anywhere. Sure, you could have still had her stay with you, but she clearly thought things were going in some positive direction after all those days. You do have a responsibility to be up front with her so she knew well before the trip back to the airport that you were NOT interested -- in any fashion. You wasted her time.

Perhaps she blew up at you because she felt that she could have spent the days better elsewhere?

Your story doesn't add up. There are two sides of every story, it would be interesting to hear hers, but I know we won't.

Akasha

ORGINAL: Real0ne

For someone who cant even add up the sleeping arrangements correctly you have the gall to lecture me and accuse me of being irresponsible when the fact of the matter is that you dont know jack sh*t about what you are talking about?

Do tell me more of what she was "clearly" thinking?

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I was telling you what impression she probably got. You still ignored all my points about communication and being fair to the person that stayed with you a few days apparently thinking things were a-okay. You apparently did *not* have a conversation with her right off the bat to explain you were not feeling chemistry with her. Did you like the attention, or just not have the guts to tell her? It's only FAIR to someone to be up front with them, good or bad.

If you are just going to insult me again, don't bother. Your blow ups are more telling than your story itself.

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: saret

ARG. ARG, I say!

You have hit the nail on the head - I've recieved lots of these, in many permutations. I even get them when I don't reply with "No, thank you", from users I ignored.

I even get letters from dom guys, usually having the tone of "Yer a purty lil' filly, you just need some breakin' in!"
Strangely, they seem to take "No thank you" better than a lot of subs.

-S-

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I was once chatting with a "sub" who, once he saw that I was not interested in feminization as my main fetish, told me "you Dommes are doing a horrible job of matching the needs of subs out there". He then made some insulting comments about my physical appearance and then became verbally abusive.

Amazing.

Be well,
Julie