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RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 8:59:31 PM

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

did i miss something or did someone answer my question about how was this a sign of good behavior on part of sub.?

For crying out loud...... GIVE IT UP ALREADY!!

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Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

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(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 8:59:47 PM

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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I guess we are interpreting her post differently. I understood this as a much more casual relationship. In no way did I understand that he was interviewing her for a slave position. Yes, she did say that she gave over full control so I can see where you may have interpreted it that way. But the post, in its entirety, made it sound more casual to me.

I wouldn't have acted that way. In fact, if he handed me money and told me to get him a drink, I'd ask if I could have one also or something like that. If he said no, THEN I'd give him his money back, tell him to get the drink himself and leave. Nope, I wouldn't leave without a word like she did. But then I happen to see those types of "tests" as silly. Once the relationship is established and we know each other well, that's a bit different. If I were a dom, I wouldn't do something like he did. Or if I did (and I can't imagine it), I'd have an explanation why.

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:04:31 PM

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

Mlink your pic looks like you're trying to be stern but it makes me laugh...

Just as a note. I have experienced both ends of this spectrum. Having been invited out and expecting not to have to pay (because the dom that invited me out knew of my shaky financial situation) and he left halfway through the meal with both meals for me to have to pay for. I've also been treated to rediculously expensive meals when I feel that one should never spend such obcene amounts of money on my behalf. (I consider obcene more then 60 dollars for 2 meals) it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I would still never wish someone to have to pay when he/she was invited on the date. If you invite someone, you pay. those are the rules for a normal functioning society. If you offer and he/she wants to pay his/her own way then allow him/her to do so. But if you invite you should always be willing to pay.

My 2 cents

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:13:05 PM

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
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thanks for the personal attack, that was really mature of you. ummmm at least i have a picture of myself and not something done by someone else.

again,,,,, kails said this was an order not an invite.

and,,,, not one of you has been able to show me where any of this is a sign of good behavior on part of sub

(in reply to Mellissande)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:14:45 PM

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

thanks for the personal attack, that was really mature of you. ummmm at least i have a picture of myself and not something done by someone else.

again,,,,, kails said this was an order not an invite.

and,,,, not one of you has been able to show me where any of this is a sign of good behavior on part of sub

Being rude or being cheap has nothing to do with submissiveness or dominance. What part about that do you not get?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:15:18 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Actually, I have no opinion of the dominant in question. I simply agree with the actions taken by the OP because that is what I would do based on the limited information given.

Quite frankly, I don't consider the situation to really have anything to do with either D/s or whether they are merely playing or if they have an established relationship. The dominant's behavior simply appears rude and inconsiderate.

I do agree that there was a lack of communication, but I would hardly place all the blame onto the submissive because she didn't take the initiative. Since he "invoked" their dynamic by telling her that they would go to the pub, I would have made a similar conclusion that any additional information I would need for the evening (such as my needing to bring my own money) would be communicated to me.

By the way, it seems a bit silly to invoke the idea of equality on a forum that's all about embracing the "inequities" of a D/s relationship. Then again, I know a lot of men who suddenly "embrace" women's equality when it suits them.

I agree with the above response..especially the underlined....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to TreasureKY)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:15:34 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2007
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so at agfe 19 you have been on both ends of the spectrum how many times?

i meant the pic on forum, your pics in profile are excellent by the way.

(in reply to Mellissande)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:18:28 PM

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come on laurell.being rude and cheap has nothing to do with it ok. HER LEAVING WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING WAS RUDE.

now you have said the same thing over and over, can you please answer me now...
how was her behavior to be considered good for a sub?

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:20:41 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2007
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if this lifestyle was more than costumes and words for most of you would understand exactly what i am saying.

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:20:46 PM

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

so at agfe 19 you have been on both ends of the spectrum how many times?

i meant the pic on forum, your pics in profile are excellent by the way.

It wasn't meant to be a personal attack. It's just my personal feelings. you look like a person whose stern face just kinda makes me want to hug them... and I've had more than enough experience for my years. on more than one occasion I have experienced men who let down and men who over spoil. Thank you I changed my forum pic because that looks prettier, more expressive.

_____________________________

Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
— jack Kerouac

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:30:11 PM

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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You really need to get over yourself. Costumes and words. I suppose for you it's some sacred trust?

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:33:15 PM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

come on laurell.being rude and cheap has nothing to do with it ok. HER LEAVING WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING WAS RUDE.

now you have said the same thing over and over, can you please answer me now...
how was her behavior to be considered good for a sub?

Are you daft? What part of her behavior has nothing to do with submission do you not understand? I'm done going around in circles with you by the way, it's a waste of time. You are either purposefully evasive or just not intelligent enough to understand. I would point out you have answered none of my questions nor addressed your earlier comments about her not being submissive or unworthy of her Dom or overly expecting of her Dom. Then again, looking at your prior posts I suppose I should expect that.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 12/4/2007 9:36:09 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:36:22 PM

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
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i need to get over myself? example please.
i do not feel under myself. and not trying to make you feel that way either. i am just wondering how come,,,, with all this support for her in all this,,, how come no one can answer my question? show me please, please show me, how this was a sign of good behavior on her part. this is a forum about the lifestyle of master/slaves, dom/sub, etc. now when a sub acts up like that in public, how is a dom suposed to react? cheap or not, dutch treat or i pay, how is a dom supposed to react to that?

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:38:00 PM

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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

so at agfe 19 you have been on both ends of the spectrum how many times?

i meant the pic on forum, your pics in profile are excellent by the way.

What does the posters age have to do with having an opinion on financial arrangements in relationships? Come on even YOU can come up with something better than attacking someone based on age.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:39:14 PM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

her good behavior was having enough self respect to not allow herself to be treated in that manner. And yes....I insist that a sub of mine WILL have self respect AND an opinion.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:42:55 PM

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
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she said she gave control to her dom, her dom told her to get him a drink, she left him sitting there wondering what the fuck. how is that showing submissive behavior. the drink, the dom, the 5 cents are irrelevent. the sub should have said sorry sir, i do not think this is working, goodbye. if she would have dont that, i would be behind her 100%. but do not tell me you are submissive and then show me your enormous ego, and selfishness, showing selfishness and ego is not very passive or submmissive to me, that is how i see her being a bad sub. she is also a bad sub for not communicating to her dom as she puts it, her feelings. it seems she was looking for a way out anyway, and this was a nice easy chickenshit wasy to do it. i hope she had a nice walk home.

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:45:36 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2007
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age has nothing to do with opinion, but age does have something to do with axperience, and at age 19 how many dates in this lifestyle have you really been on? how much experince is not an opinion, opinions are thoughts, experience is not a thought,

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:45:52 PM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

Everytime I start to reply, I am reminded of something a wise person told me...... "don't engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person".

So I digress.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:46:59 PM

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
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i am not going round in circles,,,, you are, you keep answering my question with a question. i answer your question, but when i ask you a question i get the same question over and over as your answer

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Going dutch - 12/4/2007 9:47:49 PM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Everytime I start to reply, I am reminded of something a wise person told me...... "don't engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person".

So I digress.

You're a wise man.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

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