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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/29/2008 9:11:39 PM   
trainedobedients


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/30/2006
From: Pennsylvania
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Yes, Master decides my hairstyle, do I object. Yes, but I do not vocalize it, it would not help.

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Play safe and sound,
trainedobedients
slave of Master JohnnyV

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)
Profile   Post #: 201
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 1/29/2008 9:50:06 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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Sagirah...I needed to reply to your post because it hit home the most with me.   I can imagine how it felt for you to use the safe word.....so difficult. However, I'm glad you were able to understand the freedom in knowing that it's just hair, it will grow back.
I've noticed so many Doms want long hair on subs and if I could comply with that wish, I would. However, I have extremely fine hair and if it gets past bottom-of -the-neck length it looks horrible and it just breaks.  I cut and color at will and as long as it's short  I have no problems.  I did grow it out for One and we were both so happy to cut it because He saw how unattractive it was and how self-conscious I was about it. 
Change is good and attachment to the changeable can be unhealthy.  The most painful punishment of all would be if I was forced to grow my hair long again.
I'm sorry if this seems like ranting but I've noticed so many people unwilling to accept the different in others, be it hair, body-type, weight, dis-ability or any other thing that can make you an individual.
I'll stand proud with my short hair and be happy!

BTW: to all the long-haired women./men out there......it's a beautiful thing and enjoy it. I would too....just like I enjoy my short goldie locks.  
Thank you for letting me get this out ........carry on

(in reply to sagirah)
Profile   Post #: 202
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 7:06:59 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
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luckily Master loves my hair. i'm one of those lucky girls whose hair is just like the  shampoo commercials. my mother tells the story of how i had to get bangs right after being born  because my hair covered my face. its thick and soft. shiny and bouncy. my father never allowed me to cut it. even when i begged for farrah fawcetts haircut. i get compliments everyday and my grandchildren love to play with my hair. Master would not make me cut it bcause he knows how much it would hurt me to do so.
i promised my father i would never cut it. he's dead and cant release me from my promise. but if i needed chemo or radiation to save my life i wouldnt worry about losing my hair. it would probably never grow to the length it is now. but life is more important. i just cant imagine myself with short hair. nor do i want to.

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weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 9:03:32 AM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
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i've actually asked him to let me cut it-- my hair is really fine and if it gets too long i look like i just ran away from an institution. it's not a hard limit, short of shaving it off entirely  because my head's a weird shape. i know i'm in a minority, but yes it's just hair, even if it's great hair. it'll grow back. 

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the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

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Profile   Post #: 204
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 11:54:56 AM   
SaraZeal


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
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quote:

Some guys like their hair long and that's not a bad thing, but I think I'd die trying to keep care of hair any longer than my ears. I have enough trouble remembering to shave in the mornings much less try and figure out what all those shampoos and hair styling products go with what and yadda yadda.


I shampoo/condition once every 7-10 days. My hair looks fine (as in good, it's also thick) and shiny and gorgeous. I brush my hair when I plan to go out. Not going out today, no brushing. Of course I'm single now. If my Dom wanted me to brush my hair everyday, I would. I think it spares it some damage to not brush it as often. I don't use a single hair-styling product. My mom might lend me some silk sometimes (for hair that is), but it's really her idea rather than mine. I let it dry naturally, have it down 99% of the time, and don't put anything in it. Those claims of "It takes a lot more care" are baseless when you don't go out-of-your-way to have always-perfect looking (but gunky) hair. I prefer my natural, and I think it looks better, too.

< Message edited by SaraZeal -- 6/27/2008 11:59:25 AM >

(in reply to fluffyswitch)
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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 12:31:35 PM   
SaraZeal


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Joined: 10/2/2007
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I probably wouldn't cut mine either. 6-7 years of growth there (below waist, including trims), and I want it even longer (as long as it grows, maybe knee length or longer).

I would refuse chemotherapy also. Not only for the hair, but because it weakens and tortures the body. If chemotherapy fails, you just accelerated your own death by killing your immune system.

(in reply to SaraZeal)
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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 12:36:12 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SaraZeal

quote:

Some guys like their hair long and that's not a bad thing, but I think I'd die trying to keep care of hair any longer than my ears. I have enough trouble remembering to shave in the mornings much less try and figure out what all those shampoos and hair styling products go with what and yadda yadda.


I shampoo/condition once every 7-10 days. My hair looks fine (as in good, it's also thick) and shiny and gorgeous. I brush my hair when I plan to go out. Not going out today, no brushing. Of course I'm single now. If my Dom wanted me to brush my hair everyday, I would. I think it spares it some damage to not brush it as often. I don't use a single hair-styling product. My mom might lend me some silk sometimes (for hair that is), but it's really her idea rather than mine. I let it dry naturally, have it down 99% of the time, and don't put anything in it. Those claims of "It takes a lot more care" are baseless when you don't go out-of-your-way to have always-perfect looking (but gunky) hair. I prefer my natural, and I think it looks better, too.


i'm the same way-- once i stopped washing it all the time and stopped brushing it every day it looks so much better.


_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to SaraZeal)
Profile   Post #: 207
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 12:44:48 PM   
gwendolyn


Posts: 188
Joined: 7/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands

I think they should add this to the limits lists, and in curiosity, I want to know if anyone else has stories related to their locks, or the loss thereof. So, question, girls: Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle?

We'll say they make a salon trip out of it, a professional cut, and not just grabbing a pair of scissors. Cheers!


Actually, I did. When Master and I met, I had hair past my ass. My hair was my identifying feature. One day, he started hinting around about shorter hair. I was adamently against it until I really sat down and thought about it. Fifteen years was enough. To make a long story short (no pun intended) we went to every salon in a twenty mile radius, and noone would lay a finger on my hair. They refused to cut it. So Master chopped it all off, and I've been delighted with it ever since. Of course, I cried like a baby at first. For me, it was the ultimate show of trust. But that's just me.

Gwen

_____________________________

Tell me what did you like about me?
And don't say my strength and daring.
'cause now I think I'm at your mercy;
And it's my first time for this kind of thing.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)
Profile   Post #: 208
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 12:51:21 PM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline
I'm in the "it's just hair" camp, but I wouldn't like my dom deciding my hairstyle because I know what's best for my hair type and facial structure... I've had short hair for a long time and tried out all the styles that do and do not work with my baby-fine, bleach-damaged hair... I'm glad he trusts me to make the best decision.

quote:


Actually, I did. When Master and I met, I had hair past my ass. My hair was my identifying feature. One day, he started hinting around about shorter hair. I was adamently against it until I really sat down and thought about it. Fifteen years was enough. To make a long story short (no pun intended) we went to every salon in a twenty mile radius, and noone would lay a finger on my hair. They refused to cut it. So Master chopped it all off, and I've been delighted with it ever since. Of course, I cried like a baby at first. For me, it was the ultimate show of trust. But that's just me.

Gwen


I went to a salon when I wanted my hair cut into a mohawk... and none of the ladies would do it for me. So I asked if there was a male hairstylist and got an appointment with him.. I turned out to be one of his favorite clients!

edited to add my thoughts on the quote.

< Message edited by abcbsex -- 6/27/2008 12:53:59 PM >


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I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.


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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 2:19:53 PM   
SaraZeal


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Joined: 10/2/2007
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I think barbers and salons catering mostly to males (or when its divided in two, the male section) are not against chopping long hair. Enough so that long-haired men, who want to keep their hair long and get a minimal trim, do not trust them. Either they don't trim, ask a relative, or go to a salon they trust.

Long hair, as I understand it, starts at shoulder length. So a guy telling me he's got long hair when he has ear length hair (like what 3 inch long?) sort of makes me laugh. What's my length if his is long at 3 inch when I have 32 inches?

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 210
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 2:24:26 PM   
lucern


Posts: 54
Joined: 11/13/2004
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~FR~After having very short hair most of my life thanks to school, parents, and limited notions of masculinity available in my environment, I never really liked it.  I never really liked the way I looked at all until I grew it out.  Likewise, well maintained hair on a woman in just about any shape or color just about floors me.  No healthy relationship I've ever been in wanted to change this about me.  But you guys have basically worked out the crux of the situation as I identify it.  I feel the urge to expand on it in the hope that I can help someone think differently about it.

The body is a social space*.  If anyone is still having a hard time relating to each other on this issue, think long and hard about that.  Those six words say volumes.  They take us beyond the cult of individuality that forums bring out to realize that people don't exist in isolated idiosyncrasy - there's nobody quite like you, but lets not blow that out of proportion such that we forget we were raised as social beings.  Our feelings about our bodies are shared to some extent, but the diversity in this world will dictate that these feelings are not continuous across humanity. Not even close.  To throw in some of my anthropology, all societies 'regulate' the body in some way, generally by presenting ideas of ideal and discouraged bodily attributes through stories, religion, cultural imagery, and the examples of people immediately around us.  We know that fat is not an ideal American attribute (though there is idiosyncratic variation here too, no?), but the Renaissance Italians wouldn't agree on our assessment at all.  Hair is part of that social space.  The Wodaabe of Niger value a very high male hairline, even cutting it back several inches to accentuate their foreheads and cheek bones.  Most guys I know, even the ones who enjoy being bald, wouldn't enjoy looking like they were balding.  They're not Wodaabe  - those guys are chosen first in elaborate mate selection rituals and told that they're the most beautiful.  Anthropology shows us the extremes of human difference so that we may understand the subtle differences around us, particularly what about us is socially constituted.  Turns out, it's quite a bit.   Importantly, the valuing of the hair in such a way that it is available for alteration at a dominant's discretion, or the valuing of it in the way that it is 'just hair' is still socially constituted.  In virtually every 'just hair' post the author could give alternate valuations of their own bodies that they held in higher importance to them - even if it was the thought of shaving it off of another. 

And just to make a point, this extends to comments about woman and hair.  I won't pick on anyone because nobody was explicitly speaking cross culturally, but gender is socially variable wherever you go as well.  This is woven into social conceptions of bodies.  Therefore, it is not safe to assume that women are always taught to value their bodies in the same way, and one cannot assume that for all women their hair is of the utmost importance to their beauty.  Even though this is extremely prevalent, I wanted to point out that this is a function of society rather than womanhood.  Lucky Albatross was good to point out that that this is furthermore tied into gender relations within society.  I'll add that post WW2 bodily regimens for women expanded in the US at the same time when women were largely culled back from the wartime workforce as an example of that.  The two societal trends directly related to the shift in immediate postwar gender roles.

*I realize that space isn't frequently used in this way, but take the following phrases to catch my meaning.  Art is a social space.  Religion is a social space.  Family is a social space.  Gender is a social space.  These are all socio-culturally defined, and our participation in society perpetuates them.  The subtle differences between us can turn into big differences over time.  As for society, for you, it's simply anyone you can interact with regularly. 


(in reply to abcbsex)
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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 2:29:35 PM   
Tannie


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
I have the opposite issue.  I refuse to grow mine out after cutting most of it off 11 years ago.  I think I carry a short cut extremely well, the upkeep is maybe, MAYBE half an hour a week, I wake up with it already done and ready to go, it doesn't get in my face, I don't have to spend time in the morning putting it up...  I don't see a downside to it at all.  I'd even shave it if the sun wouldn't burn my scalp to a crsip.  As for women and men who have their hair long, I could easily see why cutting it would be a hard limit.  It takes some people years to grow their hair out, and I know that if I spend that much time doing something, I'll be damned if I am going to let someone come along and change it around without my ok.  *laughing*

(in reply to nothing4ever)
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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 2:34:28 PM   
backseatbebe


Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline
lol...
makes me laugh every time i hear a sub validate their reason with
because they know whats best (haircut, color, length, etc) for them
so tell me again who's the sub and whos the dom?!!?!?
are you in the fashion show for life or you a commited sub?

< Message edited by backseatbebe -- 6/27/2008 2:35:57 PM >

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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 2:38:26 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
Because males have a tendency to fail at fashion/looks more often than women? Gender sterotype, I know, but it happens to be true in most of my relationships. Some people can't afford to run around looking all crazy and poofyheaded... no matter how much he likes it. ;) I will style my hair the way he likes it when we visit, but only then- and there are no scissors involved.

Besides.. the one time I let a guy dictate how my hair would be, and let him buy clothes for me? I looked... bad... like... really bad...all kinds of scary toddler or something.


< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 6/27/2008 2:46:40 PM >


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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 2:45:40 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
Wouldn't being a pleasing sub also include looking your best?
There are times when a man really doesn't understand that long hair (or short hair) on a certain body type doesn't look good. Or may not realize that chemical damage can result. Some jobs require a polished look. Some require hair that is easily kept out of the way.


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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 4:35:33 PM   
SaraZeal


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
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I'd say many underestimate the chemical damage that perms, dyes, blowers, straighteners etc can do to hair. Then they complain their hair looks horrible.

Why is it people with curly hair want it straight, and those with straight hair want it curly?
As for me I have wavy hair, between the two, and I like it that way. Tried straightening once (my aunt and cousin wanted to try), and curling with a mousse...Straight looked nice, but I wouldn't do that kind of thing on a regular basis. Curly looked very gunky.

Keeping it as is requires no work. I don't blow-dry my hair. I don't put it up. At best I tie my hair in a ponytail if it's hot. But I prefer it down. I brush it twice a week maybe. Not much work involved in keeping up with very thick waist-length hair, to me.

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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 4:46:48 PM   
tigerseye


Posts: 79
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline
FR

my Master and a Dom friend of mine have both told me they would kill me if i cut my hair for any reason other than i needed to for my work *laughs*

but even if he did ask me to cut it i'd have to say no...i've devoted nearly 5 years to growing it as long as it has gotten (my hair grows painstakingly slow) so to ask to cut it off in 2 mins...*shudder* no way...i'm too proud of it lol


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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 4:54:04 PM   
sabirah


Posts: 97
Status: offline
I find this amazing, that you don't wash your hair but once every 7-10 days.
I must wash my hair daily or it looks greasy and very unattractive. Sometimes if I am home for the weekend and not doing any errands or seeing any friends or family, I will let my hair go with out a washing.





 

Healthy Hair




Good hygiene is important for healthy hair. This includes brushing the hair properly and washing it with a mild shampoo. Good nutrition (a well - balanced diet of fresh foods and lots of water) not only helps one to have beautiful - looking hair but also improves it's texture.

Wash your hair daily or every other day. The extra circulation provided by the shampoo /message stimulates the oil glands to work more efficiently and brings natural oils into the hair. This applies to all types of hair.

Use shampoo that is pH balanced and that is designed specially for you hair type (dry, oily, etc.). Ask your hair specialist to assist you in selecting the right shampoo for your hair type. Always rinse with cool (not hot) clean water for extra shine. Allow your hair to air dry naturally whenever possible. Never brush soaking - wet hair, as the hair is quite elastic at this time and can be pulled and stretched to the breaking point. A wide - toothed comb is best for wet hair.

Give your hair a good brushing before bed. This should be done by bending forward from the waist, head down, brushing from the back to front. Brush at least fifty to one hundred strokes. This will help remove dirt, pollutants and damaging particles from the hair in addition to stimulate circulation which will increase natural oils for added sheen and oxygen to the hair and scalp.

Once a week massage jojoba oil with one to two drops of rosemary oil for dry or oily hair and tea tree for hair that show signs of dandruff into the scalp. Leave on over night, wash out the next day.




 
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaraZeal

quote:

Some guys like their hair long and that's not a bad thing, but I think I'd die trying to keep care of hair any longer than my ears. I have enough trouble remembering to shave in the mornings much less try and figure out what all those shampoos and hair styling products go with what and yadda yadda.


I shampoo/condition once every 7-10 days. My hair looks fine (as in good, it's also thick) and shiny and gorgeous. I brush my hair when I plan to go out. Not going out today, no brushing. Of course I'm single now. If my Dom wanted me to brush my hair everyday, I would. I think it spares it some damage to not brush it as often. I don't use a single hair-styling product. My mom might lend me some silk sometimes (for hair that is), but it's really her idea rather than mine. I let it dry naturally, have it down 99% of the time, and don't put anything in it. Those claims of "It takes a lot more care" are baseless when you don't go out-of-your-way to have always-perfect looking (but gunky) hair. I prefer my natural, and I think it looks better, too.


_____________________________

sincerely,
sabirah

The room is silent, absolutely silent, except for the decisive click of the collar lock.
It is a sound the girl will never forget.





(in reply to SaraZeal)
Profile   Post #: 218
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 4:57:16 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
washing your hair too often strips it of a lot of the oils that it's supposed to have. it's the same issue as with a lot of other cosmetic habits-- societal expectations, we're used to washing it all the time, not that our  hair really needs it.

_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to sabirah)
Profile   Post #: 219
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 6:31:36 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
I shower every day but only use shampoo about every third day, my hair isn't dirty or oily at all. The only reason I get it wet on the off days is so I can make it part in the right place lol.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to fluffyswitch)
Profile   Post #: 220
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