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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 6:33:04 PM   
Tannie


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

lol...
makes me laugh every time i hear a sub validate their reason with
because they know whats best (haircut, color, length, etc) for them
so tell me again who's the sub and whos the dom?!!?!?
are you in the fashion show for life or you a commited sub?


Neither.  I'm a switch.  Thanks for playing.

< Message edited by Tannie -- 6/27/2008 6:36:58 PM >

(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 221
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 10:56:39 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

lol...
makes me laugh every time i hear a sub validate their reason with
because they know whats best (haircut, color, length, etc) for them
so tell me again who's the sub and whos the dom?!!?!?
are you in the fashion show for life or you a commited sub?

nope but I have life outside of my Dom, with short hair I am going to look like a scarescrow  at the end workday  with sweating and standing in front of industrial fans with short hair, if medium lenght  it blows into my eyes  and becomes an irritant also become a hazard  when working with powertools or when around overhead equipment(recently one person did get a huge chunk of their scalp ripped out and need grafts and future surgeries to repair the damage) all day when it is not at length   to be tied back, so for managability  and safety  and for appearence with my hair type it best for me  to keep longer having nothing to do with fashion, keeping it short also would mean more cost and inconvience as I would need to go to a stylist every  3  to 4 weeks  to maintain  since it grow extremely fast when short but slows as it gets longer,  my schedule is already hectic enough,,,, if a Dom were to insist then he had better be prepare to pay to additional cost that would result  and expect that it would take time out of my schedule for him and medium lengths or layered longer hair I would have to refuse because of the safety issues involved of not being the tie all back ...if a Dom does want control over my hair then he can with regards to colouring or whether I where it down or in a ponytail  or some other style  when I am with him


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to backseatbebe)
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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/27/2008 11:44:07 PM   
SaraZeal


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
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quote:

Wash your hair daily or every other day. The extra circulation provided by the shampoo /message stimulates the oil glands to work more efficiently and brings natural oils into the hair. This applies to all types of hair.


Well, you strip the oils, so your scalp gets used to it, and produces...more oils! Hence the greasy hair. If you get on a lengthier schedule like 2-3 days then 4-5 days then 7 days and so on, you can make it become 'used to it', and it will look beautiful about 3~9 days after washing for me. It doesn't looks just as good the first few days (when freshly washed - it looks pretty good though), but it looks gorgeous afterwards.

Before I transitioned, and without the benefits on hair that estrogen provide - I was told that I had a girl's dream (scalp) hair. That a girl would literally kill to have hair like that. And the one who said that had no idea at the time that I would transition to female. Neither did I at the time (I didn't know transition existed, but I always loved long hair).

Brushing distributes the oil, but it doesn't prevent tangling, and it's actually probably the #1 cause for hair damage, however gentle your hair brush is (I really recommend a BBB - Boar Bristle Brush - as it's really gentle, like 7$ at your local drug store with a wooden handle). The oil will distribute itself naturally, as well.

Conditioner is meant as temporary to replace the oil (until it 'appears', so it is always better to put ONLY on the ends, not the scalp).

The longer the hair, the longer you can forego washing. I know some have said they didn't use shampoo at all and washed every 3 weeks with lukewarm or even cold water (hot water strips the oils, so does shampoo). Some others would wash every 2-3 weeks, and use shampoo and conditioner then. Most of them had gorgeous mid-back to knee-length hair.

Most agreed to ban hair-blowers unless in emergencies (like going outside in freezing weather with wet hair, that's even more damaging) - always better to let it naturally dry, even on the 'cold' setting, it's needlessly 'violent' to the hair. General ban on straightening, curling, dyes, and perms, as they all contain damaging chemicals. And yes, very damaging. I dyed my hair a blue-black once...and had to cut it all off 3 years later (the dyed part, not the regrowth) because the dyed part was heavily damaged. I never re-dyed it, it was a only-once thing, and it still did considerable damage.

Edit: straightening and curling doesn't have chemicals (unless you do it the old fashioned way of setting it), but it works with heat...burning heat. When my mom does it to herself I can hear her hair burning...and I feel bad for her.

Oh yes, about brushing: Only when the hair is dry. It is fragile and elastic when wet. You will most likely make it loose elasticity. Just rip 1 hair off your scalp, and pull on it as much as you can, without breaking it in two, you'll see what I mean.


< Message edited by SaraZeal -- 6/27/2008 11:49:24 PM >

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 223
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 12:01:32 AM   
SaraZeal


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
As a side note, I'm pretty sure that people didn't all have greasy unattractive, extremely tangled/unkempt hair when shampoo didn't exist, when conditioners didn't exist, and when social expectations didn't say you had to take a shower a day and wash your hair everyday, and change clothes everyday...

I can understand washing/changing etc every day if you work in a very dirty environment, got splashed by slush, had a prank played on you leaving you in need of washing, or if it's just very hot (and sweaty). I don't understand the need otherwise. I don't do things simply because I'm told by society. I don't trust society to Dom me, thank you.

I don't stink, my hair looks gorgeous, and I don't wear obviously dirty or stained clothes for kicks either. I don't have a lot of money, but I don't wear clothes 2 days in a row to save on laundry. I do it because it's still you know, clean. It doesn't smell like if I just got it out of the dryer, but that's about the only drawback. I usually stay at home, or at best do something that won't get me dirty (I don't like doing dirty stuff (in the non-sexual sense), but it's mostly circumstances not putting a dirty job in front of me.

I'll change more often when it's hot and/or if I accidentally stain my clothes (or someone else does), like I spilled food on my pants (eating on my bed, in the living room, while sitting) and it stained a bit. Not wearing it tomorrow then. But otherwise, it'll depend on how I feel. If my Dom wants me to change more often, or into something in particular, I will. Of course, I've had no such orders til now (since I'm single).

As a sidenote, I'm either a non-sweaty person, or it's just my small size, but I never needed a shower after PE (and thank god, privacy is so non-existent there). So I don't stink until a week unless it's extremely hot/I do very very streneous sports or activities (I've been depressed in the past, that affects your habits in the "Why bother?" way). Anyway I'm so overexplaining...I'll end it now.

About hair, my past depression contributed to my not washing it often (the hair that is). Then I saw it gave wonderful results and just kept in my ways.

(in reply to SaraZeal)
Profile   Post #: 224
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 5:19:13 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands
Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle?


There is no argument in THIS house regarding hairstyles. I run a TPE dynamic, hair is NOT an exception.

I like long hair on most girls and don't find too much resistance to that. Any changes in style HAVE to come through Me for permission, even just a trim to get rid of split ends (that is usualy given, but is still required to be asked permission for). I do get the occassional pouty lip at permission being denied for them to dye it some stupid colour though.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)
Profile   Post #: 225
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 5:26:28 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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Interesting question, depends I guess, my hope would be i wouldnt end up with a dickhead of a Dom who requested stupid haircuts and nasty colours but if they did, oh well its just hair at the end of the day it grows back.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 226
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 5:44:21 AM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

lol...
makes me laugh every time i hear a sub validate their reason with
because they know whats best (haircut, color, length, etc) for them
so tell me again who's the sub and whos the dom?!!?!?
are you in the fashion show for life or you a commited sub?



Obviously I would take his thoughts on my hair seriously, but if he was to suggest a haircut that would be unrealistic for styling (something I'd have to curl every day, or hairspray into oblivion to get any volume), I'd have to let him know that it's not possible. I guess I'm not a committed sub, I'm his wife who happens to know what look works for her and what doesn't.

And I'm growing my hair out at his request, too. Short hair was what applied to the conversation. So don't comment on our relationship when you don't know how it works.

_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.


(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 227
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 5:50:34 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
My former dominant ordered me to grow out my bangs.  I've always had bangs, so this was a huge deal for me and I've tried to grow them out in the past and knew how annoying it would be.  I got through it, and I actually like my look without bangs and I've received a lot of compliments on my hair since growing out my bangs.  For me this was a huge thing to submit to because I'm extremely fussy about my hair.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 228
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 5:59:36 AM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
my former Dom had a thing for ponytails i wore them but i only in His presence
  Anyone who knows me knows i have a hard limit concerning pissing in my hair*shut up RM*...if a dude wants to be me Laird n'Master....but has never had any realtionship with a black chick, i highly recommend some cultural sensitivity training ...or that he go to an ethnic salon and observe.  i think they'll have an appreciation for all it takes for me to stay this smoking hawt!  And not mind so much about the hair control issues.  Trust me it's a lonnnggg story!!!!

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 229
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 6:07:51 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
This is really REALLY an interesting thread. I guess I'll have to chime in on the whole "I'd hate to cut my hair" side of the fence. Although, I THINK that if I was told to do it, I'd cut it. That being said, I'd be PRAYING and praying HARD that he'd attempt to take into consideration a style that was reasonably complimentary.

The reason I say this is because even though I'm sitting here saying "Oh HELL NO!!" I can't help but think of the lyrics to India Airee's song "I Am Not My Hair." The part I like the best of that song is this:

[Bridge]
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oooh
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?

([Verse 3]
Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY...


[Ad lib]
If I wanna shave it close
Or if I wanna rock locks
That don't take a bit away
From the soul that I got



And I agree with that... I am not my hair...

but OMG, PLEASE don't make me cut it!!

juliet

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 230
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 6/28/2008 3:58:34 PM   
TheDomInTheHat


Posts: 33
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline
I know some Sorority's haze the girls by making them cut their hair or just wear it ridiculous or leave it a mess. I would say that for some people, more women than men I would imagine, it is just a very personal thing and represents controlling a very small aspect of their life. For people like me that basically don't care about their hair beyond keeping it short and manageable it seems kind of alien to us as to why anyone would care so much. 

(in reply to PrizedPosession)
Profile   Post #: 231
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/1/2008 1:01:57 AM   
SayaNereida


Posts: 152
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nothing4ever

But if you belong to someone does it not become their business?

We did not approach this as caring what people online do with their hair, we wondered why submissives that we may want to have a relationship with refuse to cut their hair.. not just random people walking down the street.


Personally, I'd hesitate, if he requested I cut my hair...it would also be a bit of a shock since he likes long hair.  Through the years I have had my hair long, short, straight, curly, purple, asymetrical and probably several more I have forgotten ... likely with good reason.  So in theory changing it is no big deal, but I've spent many years finding a color and style that is right for me.

For medical reasons, I had to cut it a few years ago.  I removed 14 and a half inches, and it was still below my shoulders.  It was the exact thing I needed for my health, but for my ...hmmm not sure of the word I want here...self image, it was a negative.  Now I'm working on re-growing it but keeping healthy.

Yes, I have an attachement to my hair, in so far as, it is a part of me.  It is one of the things that helps me feel beautiful and desirable to him.

He tells me that I would be beautiful to him no matter what length or color my hair and I believe him, unfortunately, I would not feel beautiful ...except when I was looking at him. 

I have gotten compliment on my hair whatever the length, color, curly or straight; so it really is how
I feel about me and I feel best with my hair at least shoulder length. 

Does that make me vain or just aware of what makes me feel my best?

Saya




_____________________________

Anais Nin: Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. ...


(in reply to nothing4ever)
Profile   Post #: 232
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/1/2008 5:32:18 AM   
hisdarlinsweetie


Posts: 55
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline
When I met my Sir, I had hair half-way down my back.  It was easy to deal with and pretty, and I liked it.  He likes short hair...so now I have short hair.  It is easy and pretty, and I like it. 
I used to hide behind my long hair sometimes when I was being timid.  My hair had always been long...in fact, the reason the hair issue came up is because I had to go get a passport picture and commented to him how my last passport pic was taken when I was 14 and I still had the same hair do.  I told him that I was toying with the idea of cutting it shorter (I was thinking maybe shoulder-legnth).  He told me do it!  I think my response was, "Oh...I'm not sure I want to."  He let me know that it wasn't a request, and after much hand-wringing, I did.  I got about a foot cut off (and donated it to Locks of Love).  Since then, I have kept it short, with the last haircut being the shortest yet.  Because I have to get my hair cut more often to maintain the legnth and style, he sometimes pays for the cuts.



(in reply to SayaNereida)
Profile   Post #: 233
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/1/2008 6:24:15 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForcefuIHands

This is a bit of a random post but after talking to a fellow Dominant about our own choice of hair styling, an interesting subject arose. There's a bit of an unusual hard limit out there, and it deals with hair.

Let me say, I am a fan of short hair on girls. Not that I expect anything as sheared as a buzz cut, but I like to see the shoulders and neck. A good rule would be enough to get a fist full. But, in reflection, every sub has posted an objection to the idea of getting a hair cut. I find this suddenly amusing. There have been less objections to piercings, tattoos, spanking, humiliation, nasty names, and roughly every depraved thing one can imagine. The minute you suggest cutting someone's hair, welcome to a new limit. I suppose a piercing heals, but a bad haircut feels like forever?

I think they should add this to the limits lists, and in curiosity, I want to know if anyone else has stories related to their locks, or the loss thereof. So, question, girls: Would you let a Dominant choose your hairstyle?

We'll say they make a salon trip out of it, a professional cut, and not just grabbing a pair of scissors. Cheers!


I'll spare you the life story of my hair, LOL.
 
In 2000, I had it cut short for the first time in my life.  I had been double-processing it, and it was too damaged to save.  I was devasted.
 
Now, in 2008, it is finally beginning to emerge from the awkward stage and is getting long again.
 
Would I ever cut it again?  Well, most Doms seem to like long hair, so hopefully I won't be asked to.
 
I might, if it was his real desire -- if he found me more attractive with short hair.  I only care about being attractive to him.
 
But if it was to humiliate or isolate me, no.  Anymore than I'd accept any other kind of permament mark for that purpose.
 
candystripper

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)
Profile   Post #: 234
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/1/2008 11:11:13 AM   
bashfulhuck


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline
For me, I look like crap with long hair, so I keep it short, for the past 8 years or so I've just kept it cueballed for the most part. The only thing I really miss about having hair on my head is getting it pulled.
But my Domina grabbing ahold of my collar or my throat does the trick just the same for me hehe.
I can totally understand other's attatchments to their hair, and I so respect that. I place a large part of my identity on how I look also, I'm just a reverse of those with long hair. I love being a 300LB weightlifting, shaved bald, pierced, tattooed guy.
How I look is an expression of my personality in many ways.
I have however given over control to my Domina, and if she told me I was to grow my hair out, I might hate it, but I would do it. But this is only for me guys, I don't expect the same from other people. I don't feel your not a twue submissive because you refuse to cut your hair. I feel you are what you are, labels are what others give us in life in their attempt to put us in their neat little boxes.
If you don't want to cut your hair, it's simple, you be with a Dominant that is like that, if you are ok with hair being cut, you find a Dominant that wants the same. It's all about compatibility really.
Just find the partner that compliments you, loves you, and will take care of you, and nothing else matters in life

Peace and serenity,
bashful

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 235
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/1/2008 12:39:37 PM   
Reform


Posts: 151
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
I might, if it was his real desire -- if he found me more attractive with short hair.  I only care about being attractive to him.
 
But if it was to humiliate or isolate me, no.  Anymore than I'd accept any other kind of permament mark for that purpose.
 
candystripper


I was shorn this week, and during the process I felt completely humiliated. I trusted him to do it correctly, of course, but in the time it took for my hair to be shaved off I was terrified. I cried after in the shower and wondered to myself why he'd do this to me, etc. The look on his face when he saw me getting out of the shower made me melt. I was sorry I was afraid, that I didn't trust his intentions, everything. He was so pleased with me, that I was brave, that I hid my shame from him and overcame it quickly.

It wasn't about being *more* attractive, it was about trust. It was a lesson (so to speak) in the fact that he'd find me attractive no matter what I did to my appearence.

Would I do it again? Absolutely.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 236
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/1/2008 12:50:24 PM   
AngelKittyX


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
I have always liked my hair.  In my profile it says one of my limits is shaving of the head.  I refuse to have my head shaven.  But if my Master wanted me to get it cut short I wouldn't oppose to it. 

Thank goddess he likes it the way it is.

_____________________________

I'm Ayperi and Owned by Master LostSoul and Kitten.

(in reply to ForcefuIHands)
Profile   Post #: 237
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/1/2008 3:02:41 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
My younger sister got a hair cut that she didnt like, they had cut to much, she sobbed for days. It can be very tramatic if you dont like how your hair is, it ties into self esteem. I just got my hair cut today, shorter then I have ever had it (to my shoulders) I brought my sister with me to make sure I picked the right hair cut becuase if I got something that didnt look good it would be very emtional for me and I would be unhappy. How we look ties into how we feel and if you dont like how you look with short hair then yes I think it would be a hard limit to allow someone to cut it short, I for one would not go any shorter then what I got today, I would be very unhappy with anything the could not be put up in a pony tial and I would feel icky with to short hair becaise it would make my face look fat. So i think it makes sence to not allow someone to do something to you that would make you unhappy and there for it makes sence that some would have a hard limit of hair cutting.

MS

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 238
RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/2/2008 2:43:24 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
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From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
Short hair?  But what would he have to pull?  

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one



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RE: Hair-ed Limits... - 7/2/2008 7:11:11 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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What a great post, lucern.
 
Thank you.
 
candystripper

(in reply to lucern)
Profile   Post #: 240
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