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RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/18/2004 6:45:30 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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I think people put themselves into roles where they have to be Dom or they have to be sub and they forget they are human beings. Why not enjoy sex just for sex? Does it always have to be part of some game or role. There are times to play, times to tease, times to torment and times to just fuck.

If people choose to limit themselves or cement themselves in one place they will never have all the fun of exploring and seeing everything else. Their loss in my opinion. (Seldom, if ever, humble).

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Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/18/2004 7:57:26 PM

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From: Scotland/Tennessee
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I like to fuck. I even like the missionary position a lot (although it's not my favorite). Anatomically I am built in such a way that, believe it or not, doggy style is usually most satisfying for me. How's THAT for a vision of "non-dominance"?

If I am sexually intimate with my property it is because it is what pleases me. I happen to like very rough, animalistic sex (giving and receiving). I see no conflict with my dominance in this. It's what I enjoy and as the dominant it is my prerogative to dictate and even make demands regarding how my enjoyment will be manifested, and what form that will take.

There are few things more stimulating than a partner who can be as rough and animalistic as I am, meet me match for match, and then cave and be submissive when I demand it. This is enjoyment to me...and it IS supposed to be about me.

Besides, if you're (generic "you") my property then your notion of proper etiquette takes a back seat to mine. If your notion of etiquette is such that you refuse to serve me in the way I wish to be served then we are not a match.

NEXT! (as they say).

Food for thought - If we concern ourselves over much with whether or not our pleasure meets someone else's notion of 'dominant' are we not conforming to the BDSM 'norm' and thereby negating (or at least compromising on) not only our non-conformist ideals but also our dominance? For me this is truth.

I need NO ONE'S permission to be the glorious slut that I am, as I see fit.

Ditto!

I will add something, though. There are times when I just like to be close. Nice and slow, savoring the feel and the flavor. It's definitly a mood thing. My mood. My thing. Whatever my position, I am the Mistress.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/18/2004 9:09:14 PM

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Joined: 6/6/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

If we are getting hot and heavy and she unlocks me and says, "Get in me now!" Am I supposed to say, "One minute, my Mistress," as I beat off furiously?

I switched with a past partner and I just made this part of the scene.... I'd sit on top of him, using his dick and tell him "if you come you are getting 20 cane strokes the minute you pop, so go ahead and come if you like sweet boy". Then I was ruthless with the cane. As soon as he started to cum, I'd pull away from him, grab his hair, roll him over and make him count the strokes.

Then when he got hard again, I'd resume. Eventually I'd get what I wanted and we had lots of interaction along the way. There was absolutely no question who was in charge.

I was always amazed at what twisted things I would think of when I was with him. My career as a switch was short and sweet however. When he moved to Miami, I lost interest in topping. Mostly I think because I had also lost the person who was meeting my needs as a bottom.

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/19/2004 4:08:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura
If people choose to limit themselves or cement themselves in one place they will never have all the fun of exploring and seeing everything else. Their loss in my opinion. (Seldom, if ever, humble).

So true Laura.

I thank everyone so far for all input. And I love that I got perspectives from not only Femme Dommes and male subs.

Oddly enough, I was having a phone conversation last night with a man who *potentially* I could have a relationship with. He explained to me that his last 3 Dommes never let him penetrate them. Then again, his last 3 Dommes were either married or had other male lovers. He was often being cuckolded. When I asked him what he thought of the idea that this would not be the case for us if we got together, he started stuttering. I think he anticipated a bad case of performance anxiety.

I guess it’s all about finding our perfect match.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/19/2004 6:24:38 AM

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Joined: 7/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZanthia

Edited for a blonde moment.

Zan-
What happened? Did you have more fun?
As Always-
Berlin

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/19/2004 1:34:43 PM

Posts: 9
Joined: 5/12/2004
Status: offline

personally.. imvho..if it serves the purpose of pleasing the Mistress, it does not matter whether there is penetration .. it is just all about her pleasure. the fact that the sub would also derive pleasure is simply a bonus for the sub. Whether the Mistress likes it on top, on bottom or dangling from the rafters, as long as she gets the pleasure she is seeking, then the goal is accomplished. the sub should bear in mind, at least i would try to keep in mind that the penetration that would be allowed would be very service oriented..as always, the pleasure of the Mistress is the goal.

(in reply to MzBerlin)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/19/2004 10:26:57 PM

Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline

I enjoy sex within the confines of a personal relationship. It is a natural expression of the relationship for me. (As well as a hell of a lot of fun!~)

In addition to things that have been stated earlier, I offer you these ideas to add from time to time to assert your Dominance during sexual intimacy.

1) Lock him in a chastity cage, then cinch a strap on to him. He will get all the visual stimulation of having sex with you, as well as the physical motion, yet be deprived the erection or orgasm.

2) Slip a cockring around the base of his penis, then tease him to full erection. Triple wrap him in condoms and tell him to "do" you. Punish or chastise him if he loses his erection.

3) Bind his balls and attach a leash. As he is having sex with you, tug the leash to make him change rhythm.

4) Have sex with him but don't allow him to orgasm every time.

There are hundreds of things you can do to incorporate power into your sexual activity. The main thing is do what YOU want to do...... what feels good to you. Let your imagination run wild and don't inhibit your pleasure because you think it is "unDommely". Afterall being Dominant, by definition, is getting your needs met....your way. If you go down the path of a "Domme's are supposed to........'s" you are subbing to someone elses definition of Dominance.

Relax....have fun....and do what you feel. It's all good!

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to bobup411)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/20/2004 4:59:25 AM

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UtahGoddess
If you go down the path of a "Domme's are supposed to........'s" you are subbing to someone elses definition of Dominance.

I so very much agree with you on this one. What makes me laugh is when I get told by a sub "well aren't Dommes supposed to -enter silly ritual here-" and I laugh and say "I don't know. I don't care. I make up my own rules and don't submit to anybody else".

This post was not so much about what a Domme should or should not do. I was about reconciling ideas in my own mind as well as getting other Domme, sub and everyone else's opinion on the matter.

Thanks for your suggestions Sandi. They are wonderful as were many others.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to UtahGoddess)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/20/2004 10:23:50 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtahGoddess

Let your imagination run wild and don't inhibit your pleasure because you think it is "unDommely". Afterall being Dominant, by definition, is getting your needs met....your way. If you go down the path of a "Domme's are supposed to........'s" you are subbing to someone elses definition of Dominance.

Exactly. I wish more people understood that. I always think any Domme who dresses to please her sub, does things she doesn't really like and forgoes all her own kinks and fetishes to fit into what he wants is in fact not a Domme at all but a different brand of submissive.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to UtahGoddess)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/20/2004 5:20:28 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Lady Beckett reminded me I'd be wearing about ten condoms so there would be no danger of the rifles firing before taps was finished.

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/21/2004 3:02:30 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

What makes me laugh is when I get told by a sub "well aren't Dommes supposed to -enter silly ritual here-" and I laugh and say "I don't know. I don't care. I make up my own rules and don't submit to anybody else".

Just recently I met with a male, a very successful, well educated male, with whom I had been communicating for a couple of weeks. The situation was one that having verified his identity, if he were to "act out", he wouldn't be hard to find. lol

Unfortunately, as I've mentioned elsewhere, I've been very very ill. And I'm just now, these last few days, feeling "okay" again. Able to communicate on a relatively intelligent level. (I think

) So when I met with him, I explained that I wasn't quite myself, and therefore not up to a lot of activity. I had no doubt that we would "click".

As it turned out, we wouldn't have "clicked" at all! What he was expecting was to walk in and have me Command him. He had it all worked out in his mind, after reading my profile, that he was going to walk in and I was going to strip him down, slap some leather on his ankles, and wrists, and he was going to be under my complete control for the day. Oops, and don't forget my leather outfit. I was supposed to be wearing that too, and have my riding crop at the ready.

He's been to a couple of Pro Dommes. I am not one. Of course, if he had wanted to drop a thousand or so on my coffee table, I might have been persuaded to go in and change, tell him to shed and drop down on his knees, scoot into the kitchen and get those dishes done. Now! In my soft Scottish purrrr...lol
Of course he didn't, and it never crossed my mind.

I do this My way. If they don't like My way, then they can keep right on walking. Because around here, that's the way it's going to be. My way. My rules, My pleasure, My way.

Re the multiple condoms.......oh I love it and do it also!

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/21/2004 3:05:23 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

I just made that post about my visitor, iwill, and was going to mention our conversation, and didn't. Oh but you said it so well.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/23/2004 9:29:29 AM

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett
He's been to a couple of Pro Dommes. I am not one. Of course, if he had wanted to drop a thousand or so on my coffee table, I might have been persuaded to go in and change, tell him to shed and drop down on his knees, scoot into the kitchen and get those dishes done.

In my experience, I find men who have only experienced ProDommes get a very warped idea of what Female dominance is. I'm sure there are terrific ProDommes out there, but for many, it's a job. The pomp & circumstance is all part of the act.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/23/2004 10:07:09 AM

Posts: 10
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline

I am so glad that I found this site and this message board. I too have often ran across many submissives who did not feel it was their place to penetrate a Mistress. In one instance I asked a submissive what if the Mistress demanded it and he said he would have to take the punishment because he would not be able to do it. I was in a speechless for about all of 30 seconds.

The input on this topic has been very good and very interesting in learning all various opinions. I have to say I gotta do me and if I want it I want it and there are no if ands or buts about it. Like it was said before it's all about finding the perfect match for you.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/23/2004 12:54:21 PM

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresscece2u
I am so glad that I found this site and this message board.

Me too. And welcome to the boards. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresscece2u
I too have often ran across many submissives who did not feel it was their place to penetrate a Mistress. In one instance I asked a submissive what if the Mistress demanded it and he said he would have to take the punishment because he would not be able to do it. I was in a speechless for about all of 30 seconds.

Isn't it great to see we aren't the only ones?

I have tons of similar topics to post. (*pace yourself Angelika)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to mistresscece2u)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/25/2004 4:32:32 PM

MistressZanthia

Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline

Actually yes, being that I am a blonde in disguise as a red head...

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~*Zan*~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to MzBerlin)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/26/2004 12:25:06 AM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
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Zan-
Good, as I am all about fun.
As Always
Berlin

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/26/2004 6:35:09 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresscece2u

I am so glad that I found this site and this message board. I too have often ran across many submissives who did not feel it was their place to penetrate a Mistress. In one instance I asked a submissive what if the Mistress demanded it and he said he would have to take the punishment because he would not be able to do it. I was in a speechless for about all of 30 seconds.

The input on this topic has been very good and very interesting in learning all various opinions. I have to say I gotta do me and if I want it I want it and there are no if ands or buts about it. Like it was said before it's all about finding the perfect match for you.

I was talking to a friend of mine last evening about my trip to Nashville tomorrow. I'll be attending Lane Davies performance "Davy Crockett" at the Cumberland County Playhouse on the 28th. I had planned to leave my daughter (and the "boyfriend") here to tend the animal family while I'm gone, and was talking about the "boyfriend" leaving care of Buddha, who happens to be a very large male iguana, to my daughter. "Ohhhhh Nooooo, that would be a hard limit for me!!!!" he exclaimed. I kidded him about being one of the "Do Me" types, lol. But that isn't funny! There are literally more of those, than there are the "good guys".

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to mistresscece2u)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/26/2004 6:38:44 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZanthia

Actually yes, being that I am a blonde in disguise as a red head...

Ha Ha, I am a redhead, but I claim the right to have "blonde moments" occasionally.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to MistressZanthia)

RE: Dommes & penetration - 7/26/2004 3:59:26 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressZanthia
Actually yes, being that I am a blonde in disguise as a red head...

Ha Ha, I am a redhead, but I claim the right to have "blonde moments" occasionally.

And I'm a blonde who has occasional red head moments...

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

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