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ORIGINAL: NCMISTRESS

I have found this discussion very interesting. I have recieved an influx of many emails from subs/slaves that are looking for a Domme. I read profiles along with the emails and it always perplexes me that the majority of them all have this laundry list of thier demands things they like, dislike without even being asked.

While I think this approach on a first contact is inappropriate and obviously unappreciated by the vast majority of women on CM, sexual compatibility would seem to be important to learn at some point in time if both parties are to be happy & content in the relationship.  You do want a happy sub around to serve you don't you?

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If they were a true sub/slave then they would only have on their profile is thier experiences and a note saying whatever you wish. So why is this an issue?

Because none of us are "twue" anything!  It's all relative.  There are degrees to which people are either dominant or submissive.  No man or woman is so totally selfless such that they have no needs or desires of their own!  Otherwise, why would they even have the desire to choose you over some other available dominant??

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I don't need a tool to feel in control -- I have my fingers to wind in his hair and my voice to order him to go faster or slower, deeper or more shallow.

On another level, I find it very odd that in general we see het intercourse as the male getting something that the female gives. On the biological level it seems to me that it is the opposite situation -- the male if he comes will deposit his sperm into her, her body may use it to help create new life a situation he has no control (of any type) over after that initial shoot. He gives, she takes.

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ORIGINAL: MizSuz


If I am sexually intimate with my property it is because it is what pleases me. I happen to like very rough, animalistic sex (giving and receiving). I see no conflict with my dominance in this. It's what I enjoy and as the dominant it is my prerogative to dictate and even make demands regarding how my enjoyment will be manifested, and what form that will take.

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I don't need a tool to feel in control -- I have my fingers to wind in his hair and my voice to order him to go faster or slower, deeper or more shallow.

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ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I don't need a tool to feel in control -- I have my fingers to wind in his hair and my voice to order him to go faster or slower, deeper or more shallow.

Sure, but I can't reach around nearly far enough to smack his ass without something convenient in my hand. And I surely do like to smack his ass. :)

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I’ve had mixed feeling regarding this topic for a while now. So I open it up to all of you for your feedback. Let me explain a little further.

When I was 27, I had a male sub my own age who told me that he would find it sacrilegious to penetrate me with his penis, that since he accepted male submission, he realised he gave up his right to ever penetrate another woman, as that would be a form of dominating her. At the time, I was quite perplexed. Since him I met a few men who have a similar perspective, though not so extreme. I don’t necessarily agree with this. And on another level, I don’t disagree entirely.

I’ve reduced men to the state of a toy (either tying them up or making them remain immobile), referring to them as nothing more then a dildo for my pleasure. I’ve also strapped face harnesses with dildos to male & female subs. So far, I still feel in control. But what about straight up fucking? I’m not one to limit myself but I’m trying to reconcile the idea of a man actively fucking me and still retaining control. I know control is a mental thing and the act should never override the dynamic… Anyhow, as I said, I have mixed feelings about this.

This may seem basic for some of you. This might be something you struggle or have struggled with as well. I’m eager to hear your perspectives/suggestions.

- LA

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ORIGINAL: forluvofmaria

I as well have had both sides of this coin, some feel that they lose the perspective of Me as a Top, some feel it is the greatest reward granted. Personally, I will get My way irregardless. Sometimes just making slut bill wear a strap on and giving Me all the pleasure I want...I can be in control no matter the trappings with or with out props of any kind. I always have My voice, low, deep and seductive.I agree with Many of the Dommes, if it is Not about what I want, when I want it, then Next contestant, please...My way, My pleasure, Always!
~Maria~

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ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

From my experience, it's quite easy for a woman to maintain control of the situation, fingernails or not. I've found that during heavily sexual activities my higher cognitive abilities are, how do I put it, dormant. Obedience comes very naturally in such a state. I think it would even be fair to say I'm especially eager to please. As nonsensical as the old notion of 'not enough blood for two heads' is, there's a lot of truth in it. I generally find I don't mind being 'taken advantage of' in that sense, either. In fact, I might even like it.