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Sub-Crash - 3/31/2008 7:57:45 PM   
freakylittle39


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline 		Okay, this may sound a bit silly to some, but being new I am really curious.  I have read about after care and the importance of making sure all is well once you have reached sub-space.  However today I read the term sub-crash.  I would love to hear what this is to you personally, and how you deal with it when it occurs.  I have had one Dom kind enough to answer for me, but I am very interested in others experiences and opinions also.  Thank you!!!

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RE: Sub-Crash - 3/31/2008 8:11:00 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Hehe.. Sub-space is  fairly new concept for me, I actually  thought it was kind of a drama-queen thing until a couple of months ago.

Intense impact stuff like caning or singletails tends to lure me into a really odd state of mind. It's kind of like I'm focusing really hard on nothing at all.  Conversation, aside from thinks like "Please", "Stop", and random four letter words are all but impossible. It's really cool.. no drug can give me that kind of high, seriously. I'll take it over an orgasm any day, thanks.

"Crashing" or whatever happens afterwards, involves me turning into a shameless cuddlewhore, and either sleeping for forever, or going to tacobell. >.>
Conversation is also pretty difficult here. During the last occurence of this, we were at a Fetish Club, and I had just recieved an (amazing) single-tailing from a generous dom.. hehe.. on the stage, in front of everyone. Afterwards, I was cuddled up to a friend, and someone approached me and asked for some contact info (I'm a pro submissive, apparently that was announced during the scene or something? Nooo idea when that happened, rofl)

It was so freaking hard to rememver my email address and website. I must have come off as quite a bitch too, as he hasn't contacted me since then. >.> Eep! I didn't mean too... just couldn't figure out how to spell my name.. hahaha.

Subspace = Melty cheese cravings?  Apparently so, for me.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 3/31/2008 8:14:54 PM >

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RE: Sub-Crash - 3/31/2008 9:25:55 PM   
madshysoul


Posts: 105
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		I've heard it called 'sub-drop' myself.

I experience it a couple different ways myself, partially depending on the type and intensity of the scene.

For a scene that's significant impact/bruising/pain, but with little emotional component.. I wind up feeling vaguely flu-like for a few days after. Achy/fever/irritable etc. I largely contribute this to my body trying to heal the invisible damage underneath the skin,and running my immune system down. It's something akin to the feeling after a really really good massage ... most massage therapists (that i've been to) suggest extra water/immune system support the few days after to flush the toxins released.

For a scene that's more emotionally involved, especially any sort of intimidation/fear, I find that several days after the scene I need to have physical cuddle/comfort time. Something of a reaffirming of trust and respect.

The way I deal with it is to discuss it with my partner ahead of time openly. Something like, "You cool with me calling you in a few days to chat? Just one of my sub-drop things to check back in a bit." Aside from that, I drink more water post heavy-scene, and make suresure to take my multivitamin.


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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/1/2008 5:12:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Intense play uses up all kinds of chemicals in the body and brain that take time to build back up to normal levels. In the aftermath with low levels of blood sugar, endorphins, serotonin(sp), dopamine etc it is understandable that we aren't at our best. I like to compare subdrop to what happens after you run a marathon. Your body aches, you're dehydrated, you've had runner's high which helped you get through the physical stress and now you're still in pain without that high. Marathoners get a temporary depression afterwards, just like those of us who do wiitwd.

I find it's easier to manage if you make sure you are fully rested beforehand, fully hydrated beforehand, have eaten nutritiously instead of skipping meals or eating junk. And if you schedule water and rest breaks into play. I bring water with me when we play. So that if he's changing my position, I can have a sip then. For long play sessions, cuddling and taking the occasional ten minute nap isn't a bad idea either in the middle. As is having food ready to eat; cut up fruit and cheese and whole wheat crackers. Plus I need a blanket to warm back up and a short nap afterwards. I also don't like to play really hard and then have to immediately jump in a car because my ability to focus and my reflexes are shot.

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/3/2008 12:53:34 AM   
TwistedLeather


Posts: 189
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		i don't think i actually crash... i feel exhausted, and just want to nuzzle into my Owner and just drift for a while, and the next day i feel like i have a spring in my step. To me, crashing seems more like the few times something threw me into fight or flight. And then i was very skittish over everything for a couple days. my body was shaking, i couldn't focus my thoughts... all i could do was cling or fight to get away and curl up in a tiny ball in my corner with my bear. Yes, yes... i know. A grown woman with a teddy bear! *chuckle*

Anyway, i guess it depends on what kind of crashing you're talking about. We all use different terms. But that's my take on it based on what i've read here.

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/5/2008 10:49:12 PM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		I think that's what I'm having now. Thursday was a very intense night for me, my Alpha pushed me a lot harder than usual, and these past two days I have been nothing but lethargic the entire day. That and I can't sleep. That night I was high on endorphins but I guess this is the withdrawal?

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/6/2008 12:11:52 AM   
MadameXTC


Posts: 96
Joined: 9/30/2004
Status: offline 		Its happened to me only several times after an intense scene. I find that I just need to be held. I think personally for me it is just when your in a scene you just experience so many thoughts and emotions you body finally goes into a state of shock. You know you have crashed when you have reached that high and then suddnely you feel shaky and full of emotions and clingy.. well in a good way.. This is the time when the Dominant needs to wrap you in a warm blanket give you something good to drink and just hold you. Sometimes people need to reflect back on a scene to get the emotions out of the way. Sometimes nothing said at all except for the feeling of security helps. As a submissive in a scene we often open ourselves up to so much we feel vulnerable in the end. I have heard of this happening to Dominants as well, but it afftects them differently. The only reaction I have noticed from Dominants who have dropped after a scene is just the need for silence. They want to be close to the submissive but at the same time they need the silence to reflect back to what happened. Sub crashing can be scary but if it is handled well it can be a very bonding experience for both parties involved.
:)

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/6/2008 8:58:56 AM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameXTC

You know you have crashed when you have reached that high and then suddnely you feel shaky and full of emotions and clingy.. well in a good way.. This is the time when the Dominant needs to wrap you in a warm blanket give you something good to drink and just hold you.


This has happened to me on occasion... usually I don't notice it though. I had one ex who didn't understand what it was and would tell me I needed to cool off when I was shaking uncontrollably, almost fever-like, and he'd pull the covers off me in the middle of winter... that was hell, because he also wouldn't hold me because I was "burning up" and at that point we were just barely dipping our toes into bdsm. That boy isn't high up there on my favorites list.

Since being with Alpha I haven't experienced it quite as dramatically, as he knows that even if I look euphoric and dreamy, if I start shivering I need some assistance getting things calmed down, and some good cuddling is in order. otherwise I will get emotional and the emotions won't end well.

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/6/2008 8:59:26 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: abcbsex

I think that's what I'm having now. Thursday was a very intense night for me, my Alpha pushed me a lot harder than usual, and these past two days I have been nothing but lethargic the entire day. That and I can't sleep. That night I was high on endorphins but I guess this is the withdrawal?


Welcome to subdrop. Chocolate, hot baths, orgasms. If you feel up to it, go to the gym. Some people swear by that, others burst into tears at the thought.

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/6/2008 3:04:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
http://www.collarchat.com/m_743958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#744221
sub drop please help

http://www.collarchat.com/m_649399/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#649697
Coming down from the glorious heights

http://www.collarchat.com/m_522013/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#522021
sub drop, definitions, causes, cures, and prevention

http://www.collarchat.com/m_512884/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#513003
Your insight is needed please

http://www.collarchat.com/m_487853/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#488083
sub drop (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_460639/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#460834
regaining balance after deep subspace

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459
sub-drop what is it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462
highs and lows

http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164
subdrop or what?

Is it drop or am I kidding myself?

Depression after a scene

Sub Drop

Nervous sub seeks reassurance

sleeping...



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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/8/2008 9:17:01 AM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		mmm, I'll take the chocolates, hot baths and orgasms....maybe not the gym but working out with some good old vanilla sex helped!

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sub-Crash - 4/8/2008 2:32:13 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		"Sub drop" comes in two forms that I have seen, physical and/or emotional.
Food (or slave favorite chocolate) for blood sugar drop. 
Warmth of a blanket for the shivers. 
Hugs and physical contact to combat abandonment or isolation.
Reassurance and praise to combat self judgement and guilt.

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/8/2008 2:47:22 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		you might not get sub-crash or sub-drop.  it isn't required and this slave hasn't.  she gets the opposite---and has decided to name it "sub-high".  she is energized and feels a glorious, peaceful, warm feeling that lasts for days after sub-space occurs.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sub-Crash - 4/14/2008 10:38:00 AM   
Corvidae


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline 		I've only done a few scenes, but I've noticed that a few minutes after a scene is over I start to get a little shakey and I also get a little chilly (nothing drastic). I don't know if it is just me coming off of an adrenaline rush, or what, but usually a snack and a soda and a few minutes just to sit and chat with the person I did the scene with are enough to get me back to normal. Then again, I haven't done anything too intense scene-wise, so I imagine my after-care needs might go up with the intensity of the scene.
I drove home not too long after doing my first scene ever, and that was not a good idea. I was a little too spacey and excited to focus on the road. I should have hung out there a little longer to give my brain a chance to stop doing the polka.

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/17/2008 11:03:17 AM   
Jupcple


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		Does anyone else get extreemly cold after an intense scene? Is this normal?

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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/17/2008 12:35:59 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Considering the number of us who mentioned blankets, yes it's perfectly normal. He's always sweating afterwards while I'm freezing. He will cuddle up to me with the heavy blanket over me but not on him and after about ten minutes he has to get out of bed and stand in the cold air or take a cool shower while I'm still lying there with the quilt now fully covering me.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Sub-Crash - 4/18/2008 8:19:56 AM   
PrincessEllie


Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline 		I think my experience with sub-crash might be a bit different from many others'. My Dom and I do not really scene. Which might seem strange, but it has always been normal to me. He is the boss, he takes control, I do what he tells me to. Does he tie me up and spank me? Yes, when he wants to see my post-birth control butt wobble (BC made me pack on some womanly pounds). But we also function as a normal couple in society.  I have never crashed with him, which, in my opinion, just means that we have a nice balanced relationship. Which is not to say other subs do not. In my experience, crashing has not been related with a phsyical scene, but an emotional side of things.

I crashed with my only other REAL boyfriend. I was thirteen. It was the most absurd relationship, and he was far too old for me. It was also long distance. He is a Dom, and I am a sub, but we never told each other, because I think it was just blossoming for the both of us. He was not a very good boyfriend, he did not talk to me much. He never called me. When I read one of his emails, they were very infrequient, I would hyperventilate and get woosy and dizzy. I was so happy it felt like everything was right with the world. But the next day I would feel empty and helpless and lonley. I hated that crashing feeling. I think I was so desperate to have some part of him that I began to view our relationship as more than it was, with him as my Dom. This is why I crashed. His emails were the closest to him I could ever be.

That is my brand of sub-crash. But with real sub-crash it can be thwarted with hugs and snuggles from your Dom/me. And lots of chocolate ice cream. In this sense, it is like PMS.


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May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

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RE: Sub-Crash - 10/20/2008 1:52:31 PM   
novabunny


Posts: 57
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		That is exactly how Master deals with this girls subbie crashes. Master does lovely skin cuddles and talks to the girl whilst stroking her hair reassuring her she is safe and secure and that Master is here for her.
 
It always helps hearing his voice even if i cannot focus on his face at the time cos the girl always wants to sleep and just huggle.  Yes total slut behaviour but hey the cap fits the girl well ;-)
 
x nova x

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RE: Sub-Crash - 10/21/2008 7:24:39 PM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jupcple

Does anyone else get extreemly cold after an intense scene? Is this normal?


it happens to me, definitely
i figure it's normal =p

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Profile   Post #: 19
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