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RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 2:02:11 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		Yes I do have a safeword but I haven't used it yet because Master knows my limits and knows exactly how much I can take.

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 2:11:45 PM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline 		i do not have a safeword with my Master and i don't feel that i need one. 
The only time that i would be heard to utter anything close to sounding like a safeword is in the event that i am about to take harm. If i used it for anything else i would find myself in a whole world of shit, for very good reason & my trust in Him is absolubt. i also find that knowing i cannot stop it, that i have absolubtly no control & also that i am in very safe hands with an experienced Master that i can trust so deeply to be very enhancing as far as my feelings during play are concerned.

i am diabetic myself, so i understand your concern in that respect, although i handle it differently. It doesn't effect my not using a safeword in any way.. He would be able to tell if something was wrong whether it was my blood sugar or anything else as serious. i can honestly state that i have no limits.. But that doesn't mean the relationship doesn't have limits. My Master has a Duty of Care and would never harm me.
Alot of people misread the combination of no limits and no safeword to mean that we are playing dangerously.. When the reality is that we play within His limits & i have complete trust in Him to be able to read my body to know when enough is enough, a trust which has never been broken or i wouldn't be here..

Had to laugh at the comment you mentioned from a Domme that said "real slaves don't use safewords" .. That kind of person really makes me giggle.. All relationships are different.. Some of them out there seem to be under the impression that everyone really should do it THEIR way.. When really its about what works for you.. There are no set rules or regulations as to what "real" slaves should and shouldn't do..
If you are doing well by your Master that is all thats important!


_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 2:39:11 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		When my Sir and I got together I had a safeword. I didn't use it, but I had it.

After being together for a couple of months, Sir took my safeword from  me, and though i was nervous i trusted him implicitly. even though I have no safe word, there is a point where my Sir will pause for me to regain my composure - and then resume.

I did giggle about the post re. creative profanity - once during a play party Sir hit me with a single tail- I gasped and yelled  "fuck a duck"  and bought the room down. At the time I wasn't particularly appreciative of the humor.

As for "real slaves don't use safewords" - sounds like a dom with no-one to order around to me!   Or i am a real fake!

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 3:13:21 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

being one who's injured herself in the past, I know that in the middle of pain I tend to become very basic in my communication abilities.  I MIGHT be able to get out "Fuck, shoulder, hurt" but I'm not likely to get out "My shoulder isn't possitioned right and I need to move it."


I loved and agree with erin's post, but wanted to comment on this.  I can't get out sentences when I'm looping around in my flighty place of space, but when something bad is happening, my brain instantly zooms right in on the problem and before I know it, my mouth is screaming out the name of the body part that is in trouble.

Once I thought my ankle was going to break so I started shouting ANKLE.  Once I felt an extremely sharp pain in my abdomen and shrieked "PAIN!!" in a tone neither of us has ever heard from me before.  A couple of times I was choking (unintentionally) and tried to frantically point at my throat.  Realizing my arms were pinned, I started making exaggerated coughing and choking noises.    He knows my sounds and body movements, and knows I don't cry out about a problem unless there is a serious problem  (I've been known not to tell him when I'm cramping, for example).  During those times, the only place my mind goes is to the area hurting and that's what gets screamed out.  He might choose to stop, pause, shift, or keep going.  He has done each.


_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 3:45:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm usually gagged so I need a gesture to inform him if a limb is going numb. Beyond that however, he knows better than to leave all safety precautions to me. Because there have been times when I just didn't notice the problems and he did. So if I feel it before the color and temp changes I tell him. If I don't feel it, he will in time touch that part and notice it.

But because I'm gagged I need a way to communicate. God forbid I come down with food poisoning and vomit with a gag in, I could aspirate.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 4:06:49 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I do have a safeword to use, and have used it on occasion.  Every relationship is unique, and I don't judge based on whether or not a safeword is in place or whether the couple chooses to use normal words to communicate issues. 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 4:32:37 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Yes we do have safewords - not because we suffer from some delusion that they are magical or because one of us has a limited vocabulary. We simply enjoy force play where "no" means "yes". Me saying "no" and having it ignored gets us both excited.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 4:53:32 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		We do not use a safeword to communicate during play and Alandra and I do not have the authority to stop play.  We communicate with him during play and he makes the decision on whether to stop or continue; we just don't use a code word to communicate.

This is what is required of his slaves...  then again he usually requires this of anyone he plays with.  If the bottom wants to have authority within play, then they are not the right match for him.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 7:47:33 PM   
lubegirl


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		My MASTER and i do not use safe words...he has complete access to do whatever he chooses with me.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 7:49:16 PM   
lubegirl


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		omg..pardon me! HE has complete access to do whatever HE chooses to do with me.
 
please forgive me SIR.

(in reply to lubegirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 7:52:47 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		I've posted in a few diffrent forums about safewords, I gave him my safewords as a gift of trust. I can say it all I want but it's up to him to stop. That's not just because I am his slave or submissive it's because it comes down to trust and being able to give up control. He knows my body ques and asks me how I am doing  if we are getting close to that line. I didn't give them up lightly either.

Wolf's denika

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 8:18:46 PM   
underhisthumb


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/19/2008
Status: offline 		Maybe I should have prefaced this entire entry with the fact that He and I are also fairly new to this and even though we have been together 2 years, the scening and BDSM aspect are fresh enough He is learning my body's reactions to certain things.

Also, during breathplay, if I get light headed, how is he supposed to know if it is from him cutting off my air or from my bloodsugar dipping?

And the rape scenario is definitely one we have encountered the need for a safeword in.  Im not saying we always use it, in face I have only used it one time, but I think until He and I are more comfortable in our roles and He knows better just what I can and cannot take, it is a safety net we have yet to remove.

It isnt because He doesn't know me, cant read me, or that we imbue a word with some magical power.

Interesting follow up point, for those of you that don't use safewords, how long have you and your Master or Mistress been together?

If you used them once and do not any longer, how long did this take you?

Again Im not saying one way is right or worng, I just find it interesting to compare notes.



(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 8:26:47 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: underhisthumb
Interesting follow up point, for those of you that don't use safewords, how long have you and your Master or Mistress been together?

If you used them once and do not any longer, how long did this take you?


I have been with him for three years at the end of April and we have not used safewords even from the very beginning. 

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 8:27:41 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: underhisthumb
some magical power.

Interesting follow up point, for those of you that don't use safewords, how long have you and your Master or Mistress been together?

If you used them once and do not any longer, how long did this take you?

Again Im not saying one way is right or worng, I just find it interesting to compare notes.


I have been with Wolf for  7 months. When we first started playing  he took me to 'red' several times just so that I would call it and be comfortable with saying it, I had a negative mindset  about it in the begining, I would feel as if I had failed some how if I called my safe word but getting me to say them took away that mystery and also the fear that it would end our realationship, it was still his peragative when to stop and he  would, usually after pushing me one or two steps further, but that is what I need, that might not be what you need. Throw in the medical conerns you have and it's definatly understandable, you are going to know before he does if something is starting to go wrong.

To your second question, I think it was about our third scene together when I gave them to him, with no regrets :). I also knew Wolf and had developed a friendship with him long before we ever played together.

There is no right or wrong, exept what works for you and your partner.


Wolf's denika

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 8:51:39 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		i don't have a safeword.  i have never used a safeword.  i have never felt the need to use one.  i have never been anywhere near feeling that i might need to stop what was happening to me or that things were going too far for me.  i have no idea what it would even feel like to want to utter a safeword. 
 
One Dominant that i had a LTR with, several years ago, asked me what my safeword was and i had to ask him what that was, since i had never heard the term before then.  He told me and then said that i could use "red".  i never did use it.  i never even thought about saying it.  Maybe some day i will be pushed to the point of feeling that i need to stop the activity and then i will have a defined limit, but it hasn't happened yet.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 10:59:42 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...Interesting follow up point, for those of you that don't use safewords, how long have you and your Master or Mistress been together?...


we celebrated 5 years together on March 1st...and haven't used a safeword the entire time.

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 11:25:24 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: underhisthumb

Interesting follow up point, for those of you that don't use safewords, how long have you and your Master or Mistress been together?

If you used them once and do not any longer, how long did this take you?



Himself and I have been together for over a decade and I do have a safeword because of a medical issue, our propensity for primal play and the fact that anything is liable to spew forth from my mouth at any given time. Fairly recently, we have pretty much had to stop all scenes which include inescapable bondage because of 'his' medical issues. It's no longer safe for him to put me in a position that I can't get out of in case something happens and he needs immediate care, so, the safeword isn't just for me, it's for him as well. If he utters it, I'll be right there for him.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/1/2008 11:51:44 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: underhisthumb

Interesting follow up point, for those of you that don't use safewords, how long have you and your Master or Mistress been together?

If you used them once and do not any longer, how long did this take you?


We're coming up on 4 years.  I have never had a safe word with him.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/2/2008 1:03:14 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I feel that, if you are in the right relationship or playing with a wisely chosen person, safewords are simply uneccesary because the communication exists to be able to handle safeword-worthy situations without yelling, "Computational Fluid Dynamics!" (which, incidentally, would be a hell of a safeword.)

TALK to one another. TRUST someone before you play. Bottoms, if you're in a situation where you can't speak, DO use another method of communication to alert your partner. Tops, pay attention to what's going on with the bottom. Simple things.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Slaves and Safewords - 4/2/2008 2:01:32 AM   
DavidsGem


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		Brightest Blessings
 
 We have been together almost 9 years and I have only had a "safe word" once. In the middle of a public whipping scene he suddenly stopped and said your safe word is "superkalafradlisticexbaladosous"" (spelling cause I can't say it let alone spell  it LMAO), and I had to  say it exactly for him to stop,  it messed me up so badly, first because I couldn't say it, and second because if a Man who does not believe in safe words is giving you a safe word what the heck is he possible going to do to you LOL. Before that I often bragged that mind fucks did nothing for me, oh how I was humbled LOLOL he messed me up bad that day.
 
 Other than that occasion I came into this relationship knowing that there would be no "escape" until he relased me from the scene, so I have never had a safeword. As to the rape scenerio, well I scream no and it keeps going, I scream no a lot in scene I am not a pain puppy, pain friggin hurts LOL, however I am a fear junkie so being scared gets me off.  I am not allowed to control the scene or stop it, that is for him to decide with all information, I am allowed to say hey something does not feel right and he will make the decision, sometimes he stops, sometimes he doesn't.
 
 Even when we were a new relationship I trusted him to know what he was doing and to be able to read my responses.
 
Blessed Be
Gem
 
 

_____________________________

Fear Fuil Iobair-
(Man's Blood Sacrifice)

"If I had a choice I would not serve with love, for she is a hard cruel mistress, much harsher than I can take most days”-Gem2007

(in reply to underhisthumb)
Profile   Post #: 40
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