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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 3:46:21 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL...

Not enough pussy or good enough pussy... so he degrades both of them and dishonors himself by lying in such a stupid way (selective anythings mutating into this brillance is what shall I say... just sad)... runs around leaving ways for her to find out, proving his communications skills suck and it's all because of millions of sucessful sexual selection that isn't that significant in nature? Oh come on!

Are you her husband?

Well some poor woman has to marry a sociobiologist and satisfy his need to further the species.

ROFL

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 3:48:45 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

How did this thread go from "he signed up on a married-but-looking-to-cheat website" to "if she had put out more, he wouldn't have strayed and wouldn't have betrayed her"?

Yeah, cuz a grown man is never responsible for his own decisions and his own actions - it's always someone else's fault. Just ask my ex, he is king of that.

Cali

I'm with you.
Maybe it's just that 4 million li'l 'ol spermy have a hard job of dividing up the division of labour in each ejaculate....phew got this feisty subbie on one there.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:05:10 PM

Daddyslilpookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

OK let me chime in here. Most in here are going poor OP. I think that she should have kept her mouth shut after her first post. She claims to have went out and gotten drunk after finding the email. That begs the question. How many other times has she gotten drunk? Whats the other side of this story.

I was with my Master everytime we go out, we go to our friend's house and not a bar and I AM ALWAYS WITH HIM, thank you very much.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:22:38 PM

Daddyslilpookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

How did this thread go from "he signed up on a married-but-looking-to-cheat website" to "if she had put out more, he wouldn't have strayed and wouldn't have betrayed her"?

Yeah, cuz a grown man is never responsible for his own decisions and his own actions - it's always someone else's fault. Just ask my ex, he is king of that.

Cali

Just a little info I ask him for sex all the time. So I try to put out as much as I can for him, also I am the one who wants sex more than him, I ask him for it and he says soon. See I am the one who is really frustrated here. Also he closed that ashley madison account right after I callled him on it. I told him if I ever see anything like that again we are over, he said why would I jeprodize 7 years of marriage? He also told me if he was going to cheat on me he would of done it along time ago and he wouldn't be here today.Also I have came to the conclusion that he doesn't have time to cheat on me. We spend every waking moment together except when he goes to work. I take him to his job and pick him up after work at five. Also he is home with me all the time and doesn't go anywhere with out me or me without him. So this doesn't make any since to me... I just don't know.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:22:45 PM

MissMagnolia

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K, I read the whole thread and am also pretty confused about some of it too, not unusual, I grant ya.

DLP, can we have an update on what is happening since you found out? Have you spoken to Irene? Left home? Kicked him out? Joined the website and tested the theory? You got people trying to help you for 8 pages. Some of us are interested in the oucome.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:28:06 PM

Daddyslilpookie

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He is here still we talked it out, I am sick and I am on antibiotics have been in bed these past few days trying to get over it. He is not on that ste anymore and also got rid of his email account. Thak you everyone for there support and and advice it is greatly appreciated.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:31:44 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Count me in with the confused group. I was under the impression based on her profile before it disappeared that she was in a monogamous marriage.
Is this a balls defending balls kinda thing Dark Victory?

Not just a marriage either, one that has so far lasted seven years.
It feels like DV is saying that the only reason this guy may have been straying is because she didn't spread her legs often or fast enough.
Quite honestly, the last post of his confused me to the point of no return.

" If the girl is crystal clear that there are many people that a vanilla-monogamous relationship will not work for, even if they thought it would, then she can take action in accord with that."

No matter how I try I can't get it to make sense and I hate feeling stupid.

You're not stupid!

The guy..Dark Victory....who is referring to women as "pussy" and claiming that a man who's not getting enough variety at home is entitled to go looking elsewhere.....without his spouse (to whom he pledged fidelity) giving him her blessings.....well....

.... stupid? maybe --- ignorant and disgusting...yup!!!

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:35:20 PM

camille65

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I got that part. I literally could not understand his sentence:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory
If the girl is crystal clear that there are many people that a vanilla-monogamous relationship will not work for, even if they thought it would, then she can take action in accord with that.

(I still can't figure it out but I'm too tired to keep trying)

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:43:08 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I got that part. I literally could not understand his sentence:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory
If the girl is crystal clear that there are many people that a vanilla-monogamous relationship will not work for, even if they thought it would, then she can take action in accord with that.

(I still can't figure it out but I'm too tired to keep trying)

I believe that he's trying to say that the OP needs to understand that despite a couple's belief that they wanted to be monogamous, it does not appear to be working for the husband of the OP. The bit about her "tak(ing) action in accord with that" seems to point to his other suggestion that she become a hunter of sorts and bring new women to his bed, and for the OP to get on board with her husband's new taste for some "strange".

I don't "get" how DV can't hold this man (the OP's husband) accountable. He went behind his spouse's back and opened an online account for cheaters. Where were his "crystal clear" communication skills? The husband seems to be the PUSSY in all this. He needs to "man up" and state his needs and why he is resorting to looking for "some" on the side. Obviously, the couple is having some difficult times that are unlikely to improve without a commitment to some very clear, honest communication.

***edited for clarity***

< Message edited by agoodgirl4Daddy -- 6/17/2008 4:46:42 PM >

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 4:49:10 PM

MissMagnolia

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I wouldn't worry about it too much Camille and Goodgirl. Any man who refers to the female gender as "pussy" has nothing to say that I want to hear. I wonder if he speaks of his mother in that way?

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 5:24:31 PM

xxblushesxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

How did this thread go from "he signed up on a married-but-looking-to-cheat website" to "if she had put out more, he wouldn't have strayed and wouldn't have betrayed her"?

Yeah, cuz a grown man is never responsible for his own decisions and his own actions - it's always someone else's fault. Just ask my ex, he is king of that.

Cali

Just a little info I ask him for sex all the time. So I try to put out as much as I can for him, also I am the one who wants sex more than him, I ask him for it and he says soon. See I am the one who is really frustrated here. Also he closed that ashley madison account right after I callled him on it. I told him if I ever see anything like that again we are over, he said why would I jeprodize 7 years of marriage? He also told me if he was going to cheat on me he would of done it along time ago and he wouldn't be here today.Also I have came to the conclusion that he doesn't have time to cheat on me. We spend every waking moment together except when he goes to work. I take him to his job and pick him up after work at five. Also he is home with me all the time and doesn't go anywhere with out me or me without him. So this doesn't make any since to me... I just don't know.

Sweetheart: I think I agree with something another person said and suggest talking to a counselor. I suggest going alone for a while at first though, because something just isn't right here.
And yes, I've had a husband who was with me so much (we worked, slept and ate together) that he had 'no time' to cheat. Yet, every once in a while I would find a new stash of phone numbers he somehow collected. (he was quite handsome and charming)
I wish you both the best though.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 6:05:32 PM

Lockit

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Hummmm... Funny how they can almost make it all make sense... but it still doesn't. You feel it in your gut, but your heart and head... say no... not now... not this... please god don't let it be. How could he? Still deep down, you know.

He either did it to play or to get caught, cause I am not buying the Irene part. And it is clear he can use a computer from work and go to such sites. Maybe he didn't count on playing right away and it was going to be online. Maybe he would have found a time when you were busy later on. Maybe he wanted you to find the account so that you would be ever so attentive. Maybe a lot of things.

After all this... do you really trust him? I mean, really, deep down trust him?

Please do as the other's have suggested and go to someone for yourself and get some support systems going. Take care of you. Now you might find yourself going into a cycle of suspecting every little thing or looking for things, whether you want to or not. You may end up examining yourself for flaws that aren't there. You might do none of these things or all of these and more; so please build yourself up. What can it hurt? If I am wrong, you have done no damage.

From many on this thread who have been there, you might see bitterness or some jade color, but believe me, most of us have healed and have our humor back. I wish you well and hope you will feel much better very quickly and hope that you will do what is good for yourself and find some support and build your wonderful self. I've seen situations like this work out for the better, after a while and I've seen it not work out. I will hope that you are one of those that works out if that is best and if not... you find the strength to do what you must do.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 6:28:28 PM

subtee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory
It may not apply to the OP at all, but just how often was the horrible-terrible-lying-cheating-thug-asshole dom getting pussy thrown at him with passion, enthusiasm, eagerness, and vigor? How often was he being offered anal sex, blow jobs, quickies before dinner, frottage, etc? I'm not blaming the 'victim' - cause she's not a victim.

You say this in this thread...that it's so important and if he's not getting it thrown at him at all times then he's somewhat justified in getting it elsewhere.

But then in the procuring thread you say this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory
People make *waaaaay* too big a goddamned deal out of sex.

So which is it? Is sex important or not?

It's extremely important, but not significant. Every human being is the product of a couple of million years of successful sexual selection. It's as much a part of us as breathing. It permeates our cultures from top to bottom. Yet, it's not significant in nature.

Ain't no thang...so do you think as a Dominant/Man or just go with the lust? What kind of Dom are you? I don't mean that as it sounds, I honestly wonder if you are a thinking Dom who takes care of life and loved ones with brain cells.

We are all assuming, for the most part--you included--that the dude cheated. We don't know, right? But you've turned the tables on his wife and sub--his trusted property--because of what his dick may or may not be getting?

quote:

We make up the rules around it, and then expect people to conform. The problem is that the rules are made up, and do not inhere to humanity.

Are the rules just as insignificant and arbitrary for your sub/slave?

What the hell is "inhere?"

quote:

Rutting like an animal is different than taking a rutting mentality. We may be of the animal kingdom... but we are supposed to be of a higher mental/emotional ability.

quote:

Supposed to be? Says who?

Ah, there it is. I guess not all of us.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 7:00:26 PM

tsatske

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quote:

quote:ORIGINAL: DarkVictory It may not apply to the OP at all, but just how often was the horrible-terrible-lying-cheating-thug-asshole dom getting pussy thrown at him with passion, enthusiasm, eagerness, and vigor? How often was he being offered anal sex, blow jobs, quickies before dinner, frottage, etc?

I just do not see how any particular artistic technique is going to help a girl keep her man. I prefer to paint in oils, but, apparently, this will lead to Master cheating on me. I better learn frottage, and posthaste, too.
Although i admit i have liked making rubbings since childhood, one of my earliest art activities that i enjoyed enough to keep coming back to. I had these fashoin plate toys as a child, and that is what you did with them, was make crayon rubbings. You would end up with a runway model you had dressed. Then you could color her in, or, to go full frottage, you could, at that point, use these plates that came with the set that were not part of the modles or the clothes selections, but were just patterns, to give the clothes your rubbed models were wearing, some pattern and texture. It was fun. All this talk about frotage has made me want my fashion plate toy back again! Did anyone else have one of these? Seems like i had several - a fashion plate one, but one to do cars, and one to do planes, and one that did scenes from fairy tales.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 7:24:10 PM

xxblushesxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Did anyone else have one of these?

I did, but just the fashion one.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 7:29:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Okay, leaping in here at the last minute, skipped many pages but.....DV says she is not putting out enough (yeah sure) and DLP says that she is offering and getting rejected AND is his ride to and from work.... OKIES!! Can we say Too Much Togetherness, and maybe he needs to blow off steam? In an incredibly inappropriate manner, yes, but dingadang, I would go insane fast if I didn't have some non work personal space.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 7:35:14 PM

xxblushesxx

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Hmmm...maybe that's what happened to my ex-husband.
Or perhaps he just didn't know how to be faithful. Idk...

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/17/2008 8:00:27 PM

MadRabbit

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After reading a number of the replies to a person who wasn't being rude or offensive to anyone and just looking for some advice in a really difficult and hurtful situation regarding a man she has devoted 7 years of her life to, all I really have to offer is to point out how quite a few people here have really made fucking assholes of themselves.

I don't feel I need to name names.

Enjoy those apples.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/18/2008 8:10:16 AM

Stephann

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Since the storm has blown a bit, and I dug through all 8 pages, here's a few thoughts for nobody in particular.

pookie, there's obviously a breakdown in the communication in your relationship. As a result, he's done something that obviously hurts you. As you've told us, it's unlikely he's actually had an affair; so instead of approaching the issue with hysteria, it might help to look at some of the other logical reasons he might have signed up on the site. He might have been curious about what the site was about. He might have had a fantasy of having an affair. He might have had a friend sign up and tell him about it (it seems you can't see anything on the site without signing up.)

In any case, the first assumption "OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO LEAVE ME!!" might be the knee-jerk reaction, but when you come at your partner in those big hysterical letters while he's at work, it's not like he's going to be in a position to really explain it to you. When confronted with a 'dirty secret' people are often embarrassed and ashamed; no different than if you walk in on him in the bathroom, and catch him masturbating. The reality is, that he has every right to masturbate, fantasize, and enjoy the idea of sex with others, in his head.

Instead of approaching this issue with a shotgun, telling him "cheat on me, and your dead" I strongly suggest you try talking to him calmly, rationally, and openly. You'll need to show him that it's just as important to you to hear how he feels, and not attack him for those feelings. That can be very hard when you feel that your marriage is threatened; but holding a baseball bat to his head while you're talking to him isn't going to fix the problem. Be prepared to deal with the fact that he might fantasize about things, and understand that it doesn't mean he's not happy with you, and that as an adult he's responsible enough not to act on feelings which, if he does confess exist, he'll be a lot less likely to act on.

Understand, please, that this isn't an attempt to attack you or how you feel; your feelings are completely valid, and normal. I'm only trying to illustrate that while your feelings are valid and normal, so are his. The more you both talk about the existence of those feelings, the closer you'll get to resolving your problems.

Warm wishes to you both,

Stephan

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/18/2008 8:58:03 AM

Madame4a

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Ok.. he has no time to cheat... don't believe it for a second -- do you know how many men contact me, say they are married but have all kinds of time during the day? nothing more.. but yeah, they have all day...

sorry... the excuses you got, read some of the thread, you'll find them there...

open your eyes and ears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

How did this thread go from "he signed up on a married-but-looking-to-cheat website" to "if she had put out more, he wouldn't have strayed and wouldn't have betrayed her"?

Yeah, cuz a grown man is never responsible for his own decisions and his own actions - it's always someone else's fault. Just ask my ex, he is king of that.

Cali

Just a little info I ask him for sex all the time. So I try to put out as much as I can for him, also I am the one who wants sex more than him, I ask him for it and he says soon. See I am the one who is really frustrated here. Also he closed that ashley madison account right after I callled him on it. I told him if I ever see anything like that again we are over, he said why would I jeprodize 7 years of marriage? He also told me if he was going to cheat on me he would of done it along time ago and he wouldn't be here today.Also I have came to the conclusion that he doesn't have time to cheat on me. We spend every waking moment together except when he goes to work. I take him to his job and pick him up after work at five. Also he is home with me all the time and doesn't go anywhere with out me or me without him. So this doesn't make any since to me... I just don't know.

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