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It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:05:43 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


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 I am in dire need of advice well yesterday way Friday the 13th and I checked Daddy's email and found a message from www.ashleymadison.com a site for married people looking for a discreet affair with his new profile imformation. I was devastated and I called him and told him it was over and he had no idea what I was talking about so he went on and saw it and this is the story he told me.. He said that his friend Irene at work did it as a joke, and he said he told her that was a pretty shitty thing to do and I am confused and I don't know if i believe him or not. His profile name was RizMaster, he told me everyone at work knows I am his slave so that is where that came from. I am so confused... we have been married for almost seven years..What would you think if this happend to you?

< Message edited by Daddyslilpookie -- 6/14/2008 5:10:04 PM >


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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:09:06 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie

I am in dire need of advice well yesterday way Friday the 13th and I checked Daddy's email and found a message from www.ashleymadison.com a site for married people looking for a discreet affair with his new profile imformation. I was devastated and I called him and told him it was over and he had no idea what I was talking about so he went on and saw it and this is the story he told me.. He said that his friend Irene at work did it as a joke, and he said he told her that was a pretty shitty thing to do and I am confused and I don't know if i believe him or not. His profile name was RizMaster, he told me everyone at work knows I am his slave so that is where that came from. I am so confused...

There's nothing to be confused about.

Two possibilities:
1 - You believe him.

2 - You do not believe him.

Pick one.


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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:10:35 PM   
lusciouslips19


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If you believe that lame story, I have some swamp land I'd like to sell ya.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:13:03 PM   
kiwisub12


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Call or go see Irene at work and ask her straight up if she did. 
There must be some way to tell where the puter that put the profile on is sited.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:16:01 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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Why were you snooping in his email in the first place?  You don't need advice from the CM forums, you need advice from a professional marriage counselor.  Clearly, there are larger issues you have not dealt with in this situation.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:19:16 PM   
ShiftedJewel


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Here's a thought... talk openly with him, let him know that you aren't going to get angry and threaten to leave him and that your relationship is more important then that and then... do it. Ok, if he is looking for something on the side... think maybe you should find out why what he has is no longer fulfilling? Or maybe it is fulfilling and he got this wild bug up his ass to do something stupid... and it could be just a cruel joke by someone he works with.
 
No matter what the answer, nothing is ever solved by jumping to conclusions and over reacting.
 
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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:21:03 PM   
d1ll1gaf


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I had a quick look at the site FAQ and there are two types of memberships:

1. Guest Membership (Free) - Allows browsing, sending 'winks' but no custom messaging or online chat.
2. Full Membership (Paid)

If his membership is a guest one, and Irene can collaborate and YOU trust him, then the story may in fact be true. However, if its a paid membership I don't think I could buy the story that it was a practical joke by somebody at work. Most people I know would see the need to spend the extra money on a joke.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:21:45 PM   
CruelDesires


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Thats a pretty fucked up thing for a "friend" to do.

Was there ever any other dishonesty in the relationship? Any at all? If not.. then I would take him at his word.

CD

< Message edited by CruelDesires -- 6/14/2008 5:22:05 PM >


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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:22:21 PM   
FullCircle


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie
His profile name was RizMaster


Not theeee RizMaster bigamist extraordinaire? I heard about him in the www.ashleymadison.com news section, quite shocking really to think someone could lead an outwardly normal life but secretly crave dirty Russian sex and have kids with three different women.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:27:58 PM   
ProtagonistLily


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quote:

Why were you snooping in his email in the first place? You don't need advice from the CM forums, you need advice from a professional marriage counselor. Clearly, there are larger issues you have not dealt with in this situation.


Amen.

PL


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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:28:23 PM   
lighthearted


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I'd probably think the worst, too.  but that doesn't change the fact that in order to find out the truth, you need to be able to discuss it calmly and rationally.  if you aren't satisfied with what you find out, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:33:13 PM   
KatyLied


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Has it occured to you to set up a profile there and engage him in conversation.  See if he bites, you'll have your answer for sure then.  Yeah, it's not cool to do, but you've already snooped in his email, so this seems like the next logical step.  Kidding, sort of.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 5:34:50 PM   
FullCircle


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Someone did that to me once it was a great wind up opportunity.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 6:11:58 PM   
HandSolo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Has it occured to you to set up a profile there and engage him in conversation.  See if he bites, you'll have your answer for sure then.  Yeah, it's not cool to do, but you've already snooped in his email, so this seems like the next logical step.  Kidding, sort of.


If nothing else, you get a good O. Henry story out of the deal.


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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 6:32:59 PM   
DesFIP


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I didn't get the feeling she was snooping, but checking his email for him. Frequently I do that when he's too busy to, plus in some companies, if you check your personal email, then the IT guys read it and it spreads through the site. The Man has a customer in such an industry, when she gets an email from him she doesn't open it, just calls him and asks him to tell her what it says. She doesn't want her boss or coworker or the guys in the mailroom to know what color she's painting her living room and how much it costs.

With that said, I'd call Irene and ask. It may well be true, unfortunately it's real easy to smear someone online like that. If he's competing with her for a promotion, then having it get around that his personal morality isn't up to par might be enough to lose him the job.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 6:41:40 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


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Doesn't sound like a good friend. I would have a serious sit down talk. Only you can decide if you believe him or not.

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 6:48:14 PM   
azropedntied


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Are you looking for validation for some other feelings or reason he may be being dishonest ?Or was this a duty that you were just performing IE  a task . If there is a reason for you snooping  then you may have found proof .If however he was just surfing the net and wanted to peek at what the site was about or the other person did do it as a goof  then dismiss it and move on . It all boils down to who do you trust ? Him or your intuition and this indiscretion ? If your going to say its over due to this and not work on it then perhaps it was not that strong of a relationship and more problems are there besides this one .

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 6:50:29 PM   
KatyLied


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I must be bored because I sort of want to join AshleyMadison and sparm him myself.
Oh, and Irene didn't send it as a joke, she's what known as "his cover story".


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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 7:18:57 PM   
Lockit


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My ex came home from a business trip.  That trip I got a pretty gold necklace!  Nice... I am cleaning out his suitcase for him and find condoms.  "Oh so and so put that there as a joke!  I would never cheat!  It's just a joke silly."  I know so and so and he would never joke in a way that would be harmful to me.  I did not get a pretty gold trinket because of love and thinking of me... but out of guilt.  The lady that helped me get a guilt necklace... she loved his laugh and he stayed at her house.

Silly excuses they expect the 'silly' to accept.  You know the answer deep down.  Go with your gut.  When they lay blame elsewhere... in a situation like this... beware.

First he denied any knowledge of what you were talking about and then readily knew the answer... his co worker did it.  Think about that.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 6/14/2008 7:27:55 PM >

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RE: It's Eating Away At Me - 6/14/2008 7:20:39 PM   
pompeii


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quote:

Irene didn't send it as a joke, she's what known as "his cover story"


I agree with KatyLied! Irene is part of the plan.



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