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ORIGINAL: SirSix72

every sub has limits to begin with....most of them are emotional boundries that have yet to be breached...this takes time and lots of consideration.......when I met bella she had more limits than I had fingers and toes to count them all and through the time that she has belonged to me her limits have vanashed....but only through careful consideration on my part and adjusting her comfort level with different activities.........she is a slave but I allow her a voice and I listen to her fears and concerns........then I see where she is the most uncomfortable at and I work through this with her.......now she has become a limitless slave....this isnt something that happens over night..........I can understand limits but there are some that are firmly set against cfoertian activities or lifestyle changes because it causes them emotional stress....this emotional stress is a mere bump in the road and can be overcome through the guidence of a good Master


Master Six

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ORIGINAL: Cloudz

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ORIGINAL: SirSix72

every sub has limits to begin with....most of them are emotional boundries that have yet to be breached...this takes time and lots of consideration.......when I met bella she had more limits than I had fingers and toes to count them all and through the time that she has belonged to me her limits have vanashed....but only through careful consideration on my part and adjusting her comfort level with different activities.........she is a slave but I allow her a voice and I listen to her fears and concerns........then I see where she is the most uncomfortable at and I work through this with her.......now she has become a limitless slave....this isnt something that happens over night..........I can understand limits but there are some that are firmly set against cfoertian activities or lifestyle changes because it causes them emotional stress....this emotional stress is a mere bump in the road and can be overcome through the guidence of a good Master


Master Six

(Applauding wildly) That was the most accurate description of limits I have read, possibly ever. Limits are simply comfort levels, as in - I am not comfortable doing that with you, I am not comfortable with that and need more information, I will never be comfortable with that, I am not comfortable yet that you will keep me safe, etc. etc.


~ Cloudz

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

I too agree with this. Just to add my copper task bit's worth. In discussions on limits I see the whole lin=mit concept being lumped together. I see limits as being in two sections. the first section being to do with health and safety and the other limit being to do with BDSM activities involving the comfort zones and fears rather than safety. there always be areas especially in hard play where both sections are involved but even then, each section can be adressed seperately and logically (I'm a great believer in boolean logic).

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ORIGINAL: Belladonna82
if the Master knows of a way to help you trust his judgement and not your own....things go smoothly

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When Master first found me...i was a crazy submissive who was emotionaly screwed up....i made everything a limit

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Through Master guideness and control i lost 90% of my limits....now my limits Match Masters for the most part...i have a few that i am slowly releasing but have let go completely

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Its a Master job to make sure the submissive/slave is comfortable enough to let go of those vanilla limits that our lifes in the past have placed there........limits=emotional unsure and not very trusting of whom u serve.

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You can believe something to be taboo...or emotionaly hurtful but if the Master knows of a way to help you trust his judgement and not your own....things go smoothly

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TRUST,.....ITS ALL A SLAVE/SUBMISSIVE NEEDS....without we are nothing...with it...life is peachy keen

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ORIGINAL: subspaceinMD

Thank You for your attention and answers to this question. i have read several posts that say limits are something that everyone has and that it is normal to have them. My question to You is:
Would you accept certain limits and feel ok with them, or do you feel that your submissive should give complete trust in their Master to know what is best for them and therefore should not have limits. If you have a submissive with no limits how do You feel about them, do You know certain things are hot spots and stay away from them? Would You rather be told up front during negotiation what their limits are so that You know in advance? i have had several Dominants tell me that true subs don't have any limits (and by that token, how do you proceed?). Thank You for Your input.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: Belladonna82
if the Master knows of a way to help you trust his judgement and not your own....things go smoothly

Why would a master want a slave to doubt their own judgement and help them learn how to have better judgement?

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ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

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When Master first found me...i was a crazy submissive who was emotionaly screwed up....i made everything a limit

I'm sorry that you were emotionally "screwed up" as you put it. When I first got involved with my dominant, I had a lot of problems as well. As we grew closer, more crappy things seemed to happen to me, and by the time we lived together, I was in little pieces of scrap. I had a lot of limits-mostly on things I had very little positive experience with. People I had been extremely close to had taken advantage of me, and it had really skewed my view. I don't think that made me crazy, as you put it. But it did make things very difficult.

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Through Master guideness and control i lost 90% of my limits....now my limits Match Masters for the most part...i have a few that i am slowly releasing but have let go completely

I went through this process as well. I am still uncomfortable with some of the limitations I have given up, but I am content that my dominant is pleased with me, and that outweighs my comfort level considerably. I'm happy for you that you are in a situation where you have given up many limits in favor of your dominant's. To me, it shows more than the trust banner that you wave but also a comfort and pleasure that you draw from it. It's great that it makes you happy. That's the most important part. If it didn't make you happy on a very personal level, I doubt you would have gone through the steps that were needed to overcome your limitations, whatever they might be.

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Its a Master job to make sure the submissive/slave is comfortable enough to let go of those vanilla limits that our lifes in the past have placed there........limits=emotional unsure and not very trusting of whom u serve.

Is it the dominant's job, or the combined job of all involved? I don't know that I could have done what I did without the motivation of my partner, but I know that he couldn't have helped me if I hadn't helped myself. So, in my opinion, it was our goal, together. It wasn't a "job" or occupation. It wasn't a requirement. If my dominant had not been content from the get-go with me, just as I was when I showed up in his life, he would not have asked me to be his. It was something we both wanted to work on to make ourselves happier.
As for the second part of your sentence, I disagree. Limits are not equal to emotional insecurities. Limits encompass our physical, emotional, moral, and philosophical inabilities. There are some things I will never be able to accomplish. I will never be able to wrap my brain around some of the things my dominant has done with other partners, and they are things I will probably never do. For whatever reason, these things are improbable. They have nothing to do with my level of trust in my dominant, either. I'd prefer not to tell the entire message board my personal inabilities, but if you are truly curious for insight, you may inquire privately.

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You can believe something to be taboo...or emotionaly hurtful but if the Master knows of a way to help you trust his judgement and not your own....things go smoothly

Regardless of how much I trust my dominant, I trust myself more. No one knows me better than me. I know my limitations. I know my secrets. I know my insecurities. And I know my strengths. I am the best judge of me. I will ALWAYS trust my own judgement over that of ANYONE else. And I will always get the most information possible to make the most educated judgement that I can.

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TRUST,.....ITS ALL A SLAVE/SUBMISSIVE NEEDS....without we are nothing...with it...life is peachy keen

People really tote that trust thing around. In some ways, I still don't trust or believe my dominant. I have been with him for two years, and I love him more than...anything. He means more to me than anyone in the world. It took me a very long time to work up to the level of trust I am currently at, and I still have a ways to go. I've been through some really trust-crushing crap, and people that I thought I could trust have hurt me very badly. It takes a lot to get back to the beginning again. Am I nothing without trust? Nope, certainly not. I trust me. Me is the most important person here. I'll always have me to lean on. I'll always have me to believe in. Without myself? I guess I would be nothing. But that's a whole philosophical issue, isn't it?
With trust, you say, life is peachy keen. I guess it might be, when I get there. But life is pretty great now too. So I guess it can only get better. There's more, for me at least, to being a submissive than trust. I love my partner. He stimulates me, and I him. He accepts me, and I him. He makes me happy, and he comforts me when I'm sad. He allows me to be myself, just myself, and I don't have to pretend to be anyone else.

He accepts that I have limitations and sometimes, they control me. He controls whether those limitations control him and his choices. I guess that's the best way I can explain what limits are, to us. I may always have the limitations I have on a mental plane. But if those limits don't affect him, then they're unimportant.

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ORIGINAL: candystripper

ibut i have hope.

candystripper

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ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

if i used some of my past stinking thinking, i would hope my master would let me know sometimes my judgement isnt always best,lol, even you know that...you've had to point it out to me enough times in my newness and your not my master.