KnightofMists
Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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ORIGINAL: IronBear
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ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl
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ORIGINAL: SirSix72
Are they holding onto some vanilla morals within the community?
What are "vanilla morals"?
I have no idea. I am not a moral person by any set of commonly accepted standards, but I am amoral. I and I alone define my morality and my moral standards. I am consistant in these. I will not allow others to set my standards and dictate what is acceptable or not acceptable for me to do or think or agree with. If I allow others to do this, I dishonour myself.
I agree with you... we each are empowered to establish and set our one standards of morality. Indeed many within the BDSM subcultures moral standards are different that the commonly accepted ideals of the general society at large. But, yet we all incorporate them in some degree. We as humans identify many characteristics as a moral person, while other characteristics as being immoral. The seperatist attitude of BDSM vrs Vanilla to me is a destructive approach. The fact we are humans first and foremost... we live in societies that have a broad range of interests, ideals, opinions, beliefs. No one Lifestyle choice is the best for the human race over any other, different lifestyles choices will result in difference in moral choices and standards.
However, in the end... we are a society of humans. We must learn to live in a contructive and safe manner with one another. Individuals freedoms of choice measured against the Common good of society. It is often the moralites of people that come to the front when we are making these choices of the Individuals vrs Society!
Seeking the broadest of moralities that unite us as humans is frankly a constructive approach in my opinion, but we also must recognize the individuality that we bring to our moral code. Research done by two researchers examine the various cultures of humans... both past and present. They found six virtuous qualites that was viewed across all cultural boundaries in the past and the present. These virtous qualities are often defined by different behaviors and are demonstrated throu various character strengths. Our individual moral choices and beliefs are a reflection of us as a human beings attempting to live a virtous/moral life. These virtues that Dr. Peterson and Dr Segliman identify were. Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Transendence, Justice and Temperance.
The importance is to understand that these terms are not to be considered in a specific context or That there is only "one" way to demonstrate or exhibit these virtous/moral qualities. But from a ideal or intangible perspective. It is our various codes/rules/beliefs that can be seen to reflect particular aspects of these virtous ideals. "I shall not Kill", "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" Our individual moral codes will reflect all or some of these aspects and not just one particular virtue.
When I consider a person in the view if they are a moral person or an immoral person... I watch for the behaviours and learn the beliefs that reflect these virtuous qualities. We all struggle from time to time... But, in the end, we largely strive to be a moral person. I personally find more respect and appreciation for the person who has dramatically different beliefs than my own, but also exhibits tremendous behaviours that exemplify the six virtues as compared to the one that shares my beliefs but is weak in demonstratable behaviours that reflect the six virtues. It is not the our similar beliefs and ideals that unit us... but the struggle to live our personal choosen lifestlyle well.
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Knight of Mists
An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
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