ResidentSadist
Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007 From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Sorry but this is overly romantic fluff. ** *I stand properly analyzed. I am a romantic but, the dictionary is a nice place to find common ground for good communication. If we held our own private and contradictory interpretations of terms, no one would be able to communicate. I blame Webster for their romantically biased interpretations! Many male submissives support their Mistress financially, there are masters who's women support him, and frankly the richer dominants that I know are often the most fucked up. ***I don’t understand if this is in the spirit of an additional comment or a contradiction? ***If contradiction, Read the OP again. You can be a “Master” by definition if you fulfill only one of the roles. Simply put it’s financial/ownership OR control/discipline OR knowledge/teaching. The whole "master yourself" thing is overblown hyperbole. Master what exactly? Be perfect? Know you aren't perfect? ***Discipline does not imply or demand perfection. It only needs control, self discipline, self control. Perfection doesn’t enter into it. As for training someone, what is that about if you can't do teach? There are things I can teach that I am far from competent on but my student would never know that. There are [things] I am exceedingly competent in that I can't teach. Teaching is a skill in and of itself. Besides, if she is happy learning from you, what the hell else matters anyway? Is there someone grading us or something? ***I agree. quote:
ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Gender bias. I've supported most of the men in my life financially (all but one that I can think of) both in vanilla and bdsm relationship. What;s gender got to do with it.........? ***Master is a gender specific role. Look it up. quote:
ORIGINAL: Prinsexx [snip] I even find the word Master sexy. Gawd some girls are easy to please. ***Girls are so attractive when they are being easy to please. quote:
ORIGINAL: pinkieplum i have no desire to be financially supported by my Dom. [snip] -- etc. ***I don’t understand your comments. This isn’t about Doms or D/s. There is a difference between the terms and relationship styles. Injecting D/s philosophy in an M/s thread won’t always work. Nonetheless, your desires to be in financial control are negotiable in a D/s environment. quote:
ORIGINAL: chickpea Yea, I agree [snip] … takes a lot of E.Q. (emotional intelligence) to sense and time things right with the submissive… ***Nicely put. Thank you for expanding the perspectives of the OP. quote:
ORIGINAL: Prinsexx [sniped/edited a lot] The term Master [to] me, (as a humble little girl lol), is a wider, much wider role than that of dominant. . . . ...Tibetan Master and felt complete captivation that superceded the sexual. There isn't room on a thread for me to go through my loves lol....but is any of this making sense? ***I don’t know if Doms would agree that the “role” is wider. However, if you meant that the definition of “terms” was wider, I understand. I'm not sure what you mean by verbal applcations though. ***Noun vs verb usage. To be a “Master” you must “master” your slave etc/ quote:
ORIGINAL: VioletAshes [snip] One must know oneself before one can give oneself to another. . . . Perhaps this is overly romantic, but love has it's own place in these relationships and can only help with the support of each other's well being. ***Romance and love… being a romantic (thanks to Webster-see above), I say there is never too much love or too much self or mutual awareness. quote:
ORIGINAL: accipitres They also imply some sort of superiority over the other person in the relationship; i.e.; you cannot "teach" unless there is a knowledge gap, you cannot "lead" unless the other is directionless. And I can't wrap my head around having a relationship with an inferior. ***"teach" Well put and in accord with my understand of knowledge/teaching. ***”lead” I disagree. Someone can be lead in a new direction, they didn’t have to be aimless. In fact, they could be enthusiastically heading in the wrong direction when someone comes and leads them in the right direction. quote:
ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I wish I had more time to form my thoughts on this, but I think the words imply more of a compliment of symbiotic roles than implication of deficit or superiority. ***Unfortunately, the many definitions of superior are often confused. I can be my slave’s superior in command, knowledge or position but, I do not have to be misogynistic or chauvinistic and feel superior to her as a human being. quote:
ORIGINAL: accipitres There IS symbiosis; the teacher teaches, the student learns. The leader leads, the follower follows. And you could easily argue that there is nothing superior in being a teacher (rather than the taught), the leader (rather than the follower); and you would [probably] be "right" I should have said "To me, 'being taught' and 'following' imply ignorance and helplessness, and thus, inferiority." ***I agree, there is a symbiosis. I do not understand why your personal perspectives on learning or following make you feel inferior or helpless. Maybe it is that you come from an environment, a specific cross section of the pansexual BDSM community where female and male supremacy was rule of thumb for dominant attitudes and behavior. Maybe that biased your perspectives and (self) image of submissive relationship roles. quote:
ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I don't see this as a matter of superiority/inferiority. Since none of us has led an identical life (same experiences, same thoughts, feelings, perspectives, etc), then there is always room for one to teach another, IMO. Even if the life paths are similar, what each person gains from that is going to be colored by little intangibles.. thus leaving room to teach. And, again - IMO, there is not one dominant/master worth their salt that doesnt learn from their sub/slave. ***I agree. Knowledge is power, get it when you can and from wherever you can. One of my favorite movie quotes is parallel in this thinking. It was from that stupid movie Robocop and talked about doing business in my old hometown of Detroit. They said, “Good business is where you find it.” Well, good knowledge is where find it even if it is a CollarMe thread or from your submissive. In fact, I credit who I am to the environment I have learned from. In BDSM and relationships, much of it was what I learned from my partners who coincidental, were subimissives… well, except that one girl in band camp. My submissives taught me a lot and vice versa. This is about Masters not Doms and there is a difference between them. One is not better than the other except perhaps in how it fits into your lifestyle. The same is true for the several valid definitions of the role for a Master. Many (as in a lot not a few) of the people in the lifestyle are either self categorized incorrectly or improperly labeled by others. This causes great confusion and often leads newcomers into misunderstanding. As example, I give you this: A Dom who is a submissive’s mentor is *her* Master. However, he is not a Master by title in the M/s (TPE) community because he doesn’t “own” a slave. This creates confusion and dissention within our BDSM community. Is a professor that has a master’s degree a “Master”? Should he be addressed as Master by his fellow teachers or only by his students? So how is someone to know what protocol to use or what relationship style someone is taking about if the differences between D/s and M/s are blurred by referring to all the Dominants with the same terms? We clearly define the differences between a submissive and a slave by the difference in their rights to negotiate. How do we then define the difference between a D/s Dom that likes being called Master by his submissive and a M/s Master? …Even CollarMe couldn’t do it. They have a slave and a sub category but they do not list Masters, they only list Dominants. I don’t blame them. The BDSM community in general makes the assumption that Dom is D/s and a Master is M/s. D for Dom, M for Master. When replying to posts and listening to other people’s perspectives, try to keep this in mind. The terms are used by their general understanding not the exceptions! Use some common sense. [edit-type-o]
< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 6/23/2008 11:01:10 AM >
_____________________________
-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!! I give good thread.
|