The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom

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The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/1/2008 11:41:42 PM

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I guess an example might best illustrate this.

Him: I make a 7 figure income and have significant assets, so you can feel safe emigrating out the country with me.

Me: Will you be signing over assets and income to me? No? (Shocked look.) Well then how will I be any different off than I am now -- a woman on a limited income?

Him: When you accept a collar, the Dom takes total control over your life. This includes financial support. You'd never have to worry about money with me.

Me: On the contrary, you are asking me to place myself in a position where my income is not sufficient to meet even my most basic needs. What if I chose to return to America and you disagree?

Him: You are a fake and know nothing about the lifestyle.

Me: Good bye.

This has come up in differet contexts. I've had Doms refuse to discuss their characters or personal lives 'because I'm rich, that's all you need to know'.

I'm not opposed to finding a wealthy Dom. I just think when incomes are disparate there are issues presented which for me need a full airing.

I'm not willing to rely on a promise made in the honeymoon stage to 'always take care of you' as a substitute for being able to take care of myself. Certainly he can sign over assets and income and change my situation, but I've never known a self-proclained wealthy Dom who showed any interest in doing so. Nor one that wanted to lower his standard of living. For that matter, I have yet to meet one who was even willing to fund a 'safety net' for me, in case I needed to become financially self-sufficient again.

I don't care to be yet another woman with a horror story of being lured from her home and moved across the country -- or out of the country -- only to be 'released' suddenly, alone and broke in a strange place.

Any comments?

candystripper

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/1/2008 11:48:58 PM

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The problem appears to be your difficulty in communicating with men who claim they have wealth. So in order to solve the problem, you need to change one (or sometimes more) of the elements of the problem.

Stop talking to men who claim they have wealth and see how that goes.

Cali

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(in reply to candystripper)

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/1/2008 11:49:58 PM

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Oh and you might want to recheck that sig line again. There are still inaccuracies.

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(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 12:23:30 AM

kc692

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If you already have assets, (as most your age do), then there should be a safety net for you should you decide to leave....there are assets currently, correct? At this point you should have something put away, and at the very least, you would have enough to start over if worst came to worst.

This isnt "allegedly", this is a real question, right?

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 12:41:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

If you already have assets, (as most your age do), then there should be a safety net for you should you decide to leave....there are assets currently, correct? At this point you should have something put away, and at the very least, you would have enough to start over if worst came to worst.

This isnt "allegedly", this is a real question, right?

I know far too many people of the older generations who do not have a nest egg or property assest to fall back on. In some cases it is because they have always struggled and been on low incomes (Are you discriminating against these? Others I know like myself have been through a couple of divorces which has asset and cash stripped them. I know it is easy for those on the upper side of a midle income and above to base things on their own set of financial values and it seem difficult for some of them to really understand how people who have worked all their lives are not affluent.

As far as the OP goes, I have always stated that should my overseas be unfrozen and I found the right girl I would offer her an employment contract which would stand up in any Australian Court to giuarantee her that she will have at the very least start up funds as well as first class transport to anywhere she chose to go should we part or should I die. However untill these funds are released completely, it is a moot point and in any case I'm not bothering to look any more.....

IB
(The incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent Bear)

(in reply to kc692)

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 12:57:41 AM

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I think going out of the country is a bad idea and add to letting someone take control over you that's bad enough. And if you don't even know the person, that's worse. Don't think a Dom being wealthy can erase those risks... I don't see wealth as being the problem here. But if you want to go, just know you might end up on the news.

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 1:00:43 AM

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I agree, IronBear.

Had things been different, they would not be the same.

Regardless of my assets or income, a truely wealth Dom could easily place me at risk financially and it is this risk which I hoped to see addressed, both by submissives as well as Doms.

And you need not look, Sir.

Too many are already squirreling away cash to come to you -- myself included!

*Hugs and kisses*

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 7/2/2008 1:01:47 AM >

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 2:55:02 AM

MistressMetelli

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

I think going out of the country is a bad idea and add to letting someone take control over you that's bad enough. And if you don't even know the person, that's worse. Don't think a Dom being wealthy can erase those risks... I don't see wealth as being the problem here. But if you want to go, just know you might end up on the news.

on the flip side I known plenty of people who this works just fine for

< Message edited by MistressMetelli -- 7/2/2008 2:57:54 AM >

(in reply to chickpea)

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 3:20:19 AM

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Entering into any sort of partnership where finances are not fully dislosed can be risky. Regardless of lifestyle or which side of the kneel. My first duty is always to myself, and this includes securing and maintaining the security of my future. I'm more interested in keeping safe what I already have than in how much money another person has.

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 5:25:17 AM

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candystripper, I'm not sure what the point of your post is. The reality is that if you move overseas, you will have far fewer rights as a noncitizen, including very limited ability to work. So it's becessary for a Dom to state that he can support you (and who know if he's REALLY rich?).

I suspect that a lot of these plutocrat overseas Doms are really teenagers living in their parents' basements in the US. Stating that it's overseas prolongs the online aspects of a relationship.

BTW, earning seven figures overseas may or may not be impressive. I think I earn eight or nine figures in Mexican pesos.

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 5:40:22 AM

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the wealthiest men i know are also the ones who are the most down to earth, good hearted, with no bragging and boasting rights attached; they have also rolled up their sleeves and helped me do dishes, mowed their own lawns even though they could afford to pay someone, and literally took the shirt off their back and given away the one and only car they owned, because someone they cared for needed it more that them. not one of them has offered to take care of me financially.

as for the relocating out of the country to be with someone, you're pretty much set for life; why? well they are required by law to take full responsibility for your support, it's a very big legal matter. i thought you'd know that being a lawyer and all.

(in reply to candystripper)

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 5:52:30 AM

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Candystripper,

In the most humble way to say the next sentence... I have been around some of the most wealthy people I could realistically fathom. I've also spent a great deal of time around the seven figure crowd. (Sadly, money is the one thing that refuses to rub off)

The exchange you offered did not strike me as someone who has money. It strikes me as someone who has cash, at best.

I've forced My Pet to repeat to me that she's always free to leave, if she so chooses. I do my best to ensure she always has an out. (I don't do it often, lest it appear I'm trying to be rid of her). I do this for the same reason you pointed out. If she decides she wants out, she has to be able to do it.

I give her the freedom, but without facilitating the freedom, it doesn't exist. You're right to be wary, and right to stand your ground.

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(in reply to candystripper)

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 5:55:57 AM

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For the record, and I don't know why I feel the need to do this, 1 USD = ~10 Pesos.

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 5:56:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Had things been different, they would not be the same.

oh this one's a keeper

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 6:09:39 AM

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The Op is not about me. I don't feel I need advice at this point and if I do, I'll get it from people I actually know. I gave an example to illustrate a point I wished to bring up for general discussion.

It's posted in 'Ask a Master' to solicit the opinions of Doms and others as to the very existence of this risk, whether they've encountered it, whether it was acknowledged, etc. I'm curious whether people discuss money issues before forming a D/s partnership, particularly where incomes are disparate.

I gave my opinion that being wealthy is a partially-good, partially-bad attribute in a Dom. I gave my opinion that mere wealth will never substitute for being a good man, or a good Dom.

While it seems pretty obvious, I went to an American law school. Possibly Europeans have more familiarity with immgration issues. I doubt any statement about the resident's duty to the immigrant is true the world over.

Crickey; in some replies, I am told I know nothing. In others, I am told I should know everything.

It's amazing what people will do to miss a point.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 7/2/2008 6:11:49 AM >

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 6:10:06 AM

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Up front they know that I am not interested in their assests.
If they continue to toss figures or are fixated on what they have the one thing they dont have is Me.
Wealth comes in to many forms.

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 6:13:50 AM

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You have it nailed, Quivver.

Money is fungable; my love is not.

candystripper

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 6:23:47 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Him: When you accept a collar, the Dom takes total control over your life. This includes financial support. You'd never have to worry about money with me.

when i accepted Daddy's collar, i never expected Him to take care of me financially. i wouldn't even take the money if He offered to support me (and my girls). that's not how we wanted our D/s dynamic to be. yes, Daddy does give me an allowance or small gifts from time to time but He does out of love not because i asked Him to send me something.

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 6:25:48 AM

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quote:

If they continue to toss figures or are fixated on what they have the one thing they dont have is Me.

Yep. Is there anything more boring than a guy who thinks he's all that because he has some money?

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RE: The 'Problem' of the Wealthy Dom - 7/2/2008 6:26:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

The Op is not about me. I don't feel I need advice at this point and if I do, I'll get it from people I actually know. I gave an example to illustrate a point I wished to bring up for general discussion.

if not about you. why is the conversation given as being between "him" and "you", and why do you state that this has come up in several contexts? and they have refused to discuss things with "you"?

and that "you" have no desires to end up a statistic?

its actually been a good thread. i just do not understand how you can say folks go to great lengths to miss a point, when it seems they are all reading exactly what you communicated....and responding appropriately.

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yep

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