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ORIGINAL: rookey

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
I don't deal well with lies, even "white" ones.  The fastest way to earn yourself an express ticket out of my life, with extreme prejudice, is to lie to me.  Omission counts.  In my case, it is never acceptable to lie to me.  I would rather hear unpleasant truth.  I also do my best not to lie to others.  I won't say I don't ever lie, but I work to tell as few as possible.   

With respect; isn't such an attitude too inflexible for an uncertain world and future?  Who knows what's around the next corner?  You may run into a situation where telling the truth could lead to less pleasant circumstances than lying would.

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ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

Lying and sinning by omission don't fly well with me, ....

I never forget a liar, either.  To me, no, no form of lying is acceptable in a relationship or otherwise, nor is it terribly forgivable.

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ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

I don't deal well with lies, even "white" ones.  The fastest way to earn yourself an express ticket out of my life, with extreme prejudice, is to lie to me.  Omission counts.  In my case, it is never acceptable to lie to me.  I would rather hear unpleasant truth.  I also do my best not to lie to others.  I won't say I don't ever lie, but I work to tell as few as possible.   

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ORIGINAL: hopelessfool
So the day you meet your sub

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The truth is you lie

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Did you throw your parents out of your lives when they threw a suprise party, or for telling you the tooth fairy and or Santa existed because they lied to you about these things....

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ORIGINAL: Sindel

At times I believe there are instances that it is ok to tell white lies. When your Mistress may be bloated and asks if she looks fat, certianly to spare her feelings you would tell her that she does not look fat, and in fact looks radiant!

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ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

So the day you meet your sub you wish them to tell you EVERY single horrible factor in their life, their pains every ounce of their baggage.

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It isnt going to fly to many people,

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they are going to omit various things about themselves, be it them having a horribly bad gas problem if they eat carrots, or them being raped. And to me Its no ones business until we are on a very commited level, of what gives me gas or not.

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So let me ask you this those of you that say you hate lying and wont stand for it....

Did you throw your parents out of your lives when they threw a suprise party, or for telling you the tooth fairy and or Santa existed because they lied to you about these things....

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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Akasha's "Submissives who lie to impress you or be compatible with you" thread got me thinking.  In the field of psychology, it's generally accepted that all people lie.  For the purpose of this thread, please, lets accept this as truth.  (Now there's an oxymoron... it's true that all people lie. :-)

So... given that all people lie, what then is an acceptable lie and what is not?  Zooming in on BDSM, in the context of a BDSM relationship, will you accept and/or understand your partner lying to you in any fashion or is this an utterly reprehensible act for which there is no forgiveness?  There is no right or wrong answer here.  I'm curious as to people's thoughts.

As a person who has been in a number of long-term relationships and as someone who once believed in compete honesty, I can now attest that there are indeed times when it is appropriate not to tell your partner everything you are thinking.  And yes, there are also times when it is appropriate to outright lie.  While this may sound like a contradiction, I do believe that honesty is a cornerstone and an essential building block of any relationship.  Perhaps I've already tainted the discussion by adding this precursor from my own experiences, but I hope not. :-)

Elan.

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ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

Lying takes many forms. While I would never accept a brazen lie, I understand when deceit must be used.  Deception is different. When she spends the day buying materials to make cookies for me, and answers "What'd you do today?" with "I went shopping - got new panties for you, Master." That is, technically, a lie. I see it as deceit.

So I am in favor of lying to preserve a nice surprise.

.

Another note about lying: I've taken great strides to ensure My Pet understands that telling the truth will never make me angry. I have promised (and made good on that promise) to stifle any emotional response and deal with things calmly. If anyone expects and desires pure honesty from their submissive, they must provide a truth-friendly environment..

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ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am sure I am the odd duck {as usual} but here is my answer.
 
On the internet, with total strangers, or even with people that I don't know well, like or
even trust, I don't feel like I owe them ANYTHING.
."

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ORIGINAL: MzMia

If most of us always said what we really thought, we would usually not even have a job.

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ORIGINAL: feylin

Funny, but I just finished reading this excerpt from a Krentz romance novel, "White Lies," (I have been having all kinds of coincidences this month.) and thought it was interesting:

"I take the Darwinian view. Lying is a universal talent. Everyone I've ever known can do it rather well. Most little kids start practicing the skill as soon as they master language."

"So you figure there must be some evolutionary explanation, is that it?"

"I think so, yes.  When you look at it objectively, it seems obvious that the ability to lie is part of eveyrone's kit of survival tools, a side effect of possessing language skills. There are a lot of situations in which the ability to lie is extremely useful. There are times when you might have to lie to protect yourself or someone else, for example."

"You might lie to an enemy in order to win a battle or a war. Or you might have to lie just to defend your personal privacy. People lie all the time to diffuse a tense social situation or to avoid hurting someone's feelings or to calm someone who is frightened."

"The way I see it, if people couldn't lie, they probably wouldn't be able to live together in groups, at least not for very long or with any degree of sociability.  And there you have the bottom line."

"If humans could not lie, civilization as we know it would cease to exist."

"The ability to lie is  a very powerful tool.  In and of itself, I consider it to be value-neutral, sort of like fire."

"But like fire it can be turned into a weapon, is that it?"

"Exactly.  You can cook a meal with fire or burn down a house.  In the hands of a person with evil intent, lying can be used to cause enormous damange."


I'm just going through life trying hard not to be evil.

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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Akasha's "Submissives who lie to impress you or be compatible with you" thread got me thinking.  In the field of psychology, it's generally accepted that all people lie.  For the purpose of this thread, please, lets accept this as truth.  (Now there's an oxymoron... it's true that all people lie. :-)

So... given that all people lie, what then is an acceptable lie and what is not?  Zooming in on BDSM, in the context of a BDSM relationship, will you accept and/or understand your partner lying to you in any fashion or is this an utterly reprehensible act for which there is no forgiveness?  There is no right or wrong answer here.  I'm curious as to people's thoughts.

As a person who has been in a number of long-term relationships and as someone who once believed in compete honesty, I can now attest that there are indeed times when it is appropriate not to tell your partner everything you are thinking.  And yes, there are also times when it is appropriate to outright lie.  While this may sound like a contradiction, I do believe that honesty is a cornerstone and an essential building block of any relationship.  Perhaps I've already tainted the discussion by adding this precursor from my own experiences, but I hope not. :-)

Elan.

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ORIGINAL: CuddlyParrotGirl

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Was what you did one of his deal breakers?

Obviously it was, since he broke up with me.  But 1. I wasn't aware of it (honesty apparently only went one way in that relationship) and 2. with standards like that, he's unlikely to ever find a partner.

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ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

So... given that all people lie, what then is an acceptable lie and what is not?  Zooming in on BDSM, in the context of a BDSM relationship, will you accept and/or understand your partner lying to you in any fashion or is this an utterly reprehensible act for which there is no forgiveness? 

As a person who has been in a number of long-term relationships and as someone who once believed in compete honesty, I can now attest that there are indeed times when it is appropriate not to tell your partner everything you are thinking.  And yes, there are also times when it is appropriate to outright lie. 
Elan.