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Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 6:46:33 PM

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So I've been asking myself this, and it's plagueing me. Why is this site full of "submissives" who put stuff in their profile like, "I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"? I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat. They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat. They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!
What the hell people!? You have to be submissive to be a submissive. I'm starting to think these girls only say they're submissive because they're to lazy to get on top and ride their Dom like a good little slut.
What do you other Doms and subs think?
~Aslanemperor

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 6:50:39 PM

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I think I will predict that this topic will not lead to hugs and puppies...

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 6:55:07 PM

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hmmm... Well maybe it will lead to some angry sex though, right?

(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 6:59:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

So I've been asking myself this, and it's plagueing me. Why is this site full of "submissives" who put stuff in their profile like, "I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"? I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat. They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat. They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!
What the hell people!? You have to be submissive to be a submissive. I'm starting to think these girls only say they're submissive because they're to lazy to get on top and ride their Dom like a good little slut.
What do you other Doms and subs think?
~Aslanemperor

Maybe they don't speak respectfully to you because YOU are not their Dom. I certainly am not going to obey someone through an e-mail. After we meet and determine vanilla compatibility plus lifestyle compatibility we start negotiating and working on trust from there. Try the respectful approach. I'm sure it will work better than '"ON YOUR KNEES BITCH" coming from a total stranger.

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(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:04:07 PM

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My question for you my Dear Aslanemperor is why do so many self titled Doms feel their word should be gold to every self titled Sub?

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:07:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I think I will predict that this topic will not lead to hugs and puppies...

I hope not...I could use a good laugh.

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(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:09:57 PM

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<--- here's one

(in reply to natasha66)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:10:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

So I've been asking myself this, and it's plagueing me. Why is this site full of "submissives" who put stuff in their profile like, "I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"? I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat. They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat. They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!
What the hell people!? You have to be submissive to be a submissive. I'm starting to think these girls only say they're submissive because they're to lazy to get on top and ride their Dom like a good little slut.
What do you other Doms and subs think?
~Aslanemperor

Maybe they don't speak respectfully to you because YOU are not their Dom. I certainly am not going to obey someone through an e-mail. After we meet and determine vanilla compatibility plus lifestyle compatibility we start negotiating and working on trust from there. Try the respectful approach. I'm sure it will work better than '"ON YOUR KNEES BITCH" coming from a total stranger.

I think you misunderstand me. I'm not talking about, as soon as I contact someone having them bow and scrape. That is ok to a point if the sub wants it, but I'm talking about what these girls talk about on their profile and in mail corespondance.
Besides, I've found that the best approach to weed out undesirables has been to take the good ol' intelligent speak route.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:12:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

My question for you my Dear Aslanemperor is why do so many self titled Doms feel their word should be gold to every self titled Sub?

If she's MY sub, my word should be gold. As I say, it doesn't make sense to say, "I'm a sub" and then rant in your profile about how you don't want to be told what to do by your Dom because you "won't be a doormat." I wonder, how many hear actually READ what I wrote?

(in reply to Quivver)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:13:07 PM

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intelligent 'speech' route?

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(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:16:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: knockonmyduir

intelligent 'speech' route?

LOL! Sorry. Actually, thats a common mistake of mine. But my spelling is generally rather good.
Mainly though, I have a 135 IQ and don't feel the need to be all, "ME IS DOM! YOU IS SUB! YOU MUST COME DO NAUGHTY FOR ME!" I'd rather simply speak a little about her profile and then invite her to look at mine. If we like what we see, we start to communicate. This isn't about responses to my messages, this is about what I'm reading in profiles. This is why I ask, did you guys read what I wrote?

(in reply to knockonmyduir)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:20:01 PM

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Despite the fact that your tone may be met with many "rolleyes" responses, there is a truth hidden in your words.

There are two situations that come into my mind:

If you are speaking of subs who do not display specific subservience just via private message and interaction on this site, I think the assessment is askew. I support tact as a general rule of thumb, but a message received from a self-titled 'Dom' on the site should not automatically need to be responded to in overt reverence (e.g. the sub titling the Dom , etc. or immediately yielding to whatever weird task the stranger has asked at the outset).

Now...on the other hand, everyone's view of D/s can be a little bit different and there are (it appears to me) plenty of subs who don't realize they only want to be role-play subs or part-time (at their convenience) subs who perhaps word their views without having taken thorough introspection (to be fair, this is true of some Doms also). I make personal mention of this in my bio because I'm not fond (in the least) of subs who have this willful reservation to be 'bratty' if they want; as if it's some reservoir of symbolic 'independence' they should get the right to brandish at will for no reason (usually in lieu of having a more sensible means of asserting themselves).

And then, of course, you have the eternal debate between the 'trigger subs' and the 'natural subs'...where the former are looking to be submissive only if encountering a certain level of 'strength of dominance' from another (e.g. most often, these describe their submission as a "gift"), rather than having subservience be an inherent characteristic to their persona.

And, lastly, despite the aversion of many to use titles to help inform (because some people appear to have an innate fear of being 'categorized'), I think you will find those more wholly in tune with a greater level of surrender describing themselves as 'slaves' as opposed to 'subs'.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 10/1/2008 7:24:41 PM >

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(in reply to Quivver)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:20:19 PM

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My most humble of opinions. Although somewhere in deep in my gut there is this little voice saying that too many fools rush into `ownership` from both sides expecting bliss, then when bliss doesn't form in their perspective the text pops up about doormats and mouthy subs. (just a thought)

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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:21:08 PM

HalfShyHalfWild

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Joined: 2/11/2008
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

LOL! Sorry. Actually, thats a common mistake of mine. But my spelling is generally rather good.
Mainly though, I have a 135 IQ and don't feel the need to be all, "ME IS DOM! YOU IS SUB! YOU MUST COME DO NAUGHTY FOR ME!" I'd rather simply speak a little about her profile and then invite her to look at mine. If we like what we see, we start to communicate. This isn't about responses to my messages, this is about what I'm reading in profiles. This is why I ask, did you guys read what I wrote?

I read what you wrote.

quote:

They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat. They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!

Easy enough to see why others were reading it the way they did, myself included.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:21:57 PM

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Well my profile says I am not a doormat and dont wish to be a slave. So whats wrong with that? Perhaps if that is not what you want you should seek a sub that doesnt express herself that way on her profile. really its quite simple.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:27:29 PM

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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quote:

I think you misunderstand me. I'm not talking about, as soon as I contact someone having them bow and scrape. That is ok to a point if the sub wants it, but I'm talking about what these girls talk about on their profile and in mail corespondance.

I read your original post. You complained that submissive put in their profile that they will NOT be doormats. You say that they have stated in advance in their profiles that they will not obey and do "the most basic submissive acts" IF and WHEN they have a Dominant. Since I know of no basic submissive acts, for clarity perhaps it would be best to enlighten your readers as to what acts we are discussing so that we know exactly what your post is talking about. Until I know what we are discussing, there is little sense in responding.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:32:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Well my profile says I am not a doormat and dont wish to be a slave. So whats wrong with that? Perhaps if that is not what you want you should seek a sub that doesnt express herself that way on her profile. really its quite simple.

Can you read? Why even bother responding if you're going to say things like this that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. As I said, WE AREN'T DISCUSSING CONTACTING SUBMISSIVES! WE'RE DISCUSSING SO CALLED SUBMISSIVE'S PROFILES!
Did you get it now?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:34:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Well my profile says I am not a doormat and dont wish to be a slave. So whats wrong with that? Perhaps if that is not what you want you should seek a sub that doesnt express herself that way on her profile. really its quite simple.

Can you read? Why even bother responding if you're going to say things like this that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. As I said, WE AREN'T DISCUSSING CONTACTING SUBMISSIVES! WE'RE DISCUSSING SO CALLED SUBMISSIVE'S PROFILES!
Did you get it now?

Well..... wipes brow...... do you really wonder why nobody will bow down and kiss your feet. I don't submit to angry men.... meh, but that's just me.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:34:32 PM

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From: NYC
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I think he might be upset strangers seem to have no interest in sucking his cock?

Oh woe to mindset that there is only 'one twue way' of domination.

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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:36:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

I think he might be upset strangers seem to have no interest in sucking his cock? Oh woe to mindset that there is only 'one twue way' of domination.

Or maybe they just have no interest in his cock. Here's a little quirk of mine OP... I only let compassionate respectful men dom me. It's more a kink really, the juxtoposition of true kindness and sadistic tendencies. yum!

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

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