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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 1:11:13 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		edit:collar...with a custom leash attatched that says on the leash: sub available for mistress...yank for attention.
 
Er, I was thinking of vanilla settings in England, faerytoodgirl.  However, I'm not averse to a good yank now and then. 


(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 1:22:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I should point out, faerytattoodgirl, that I live in the UK.  I only want to meet one Domme at a time.  I don't want instantly to be jumped by fifty of them and brutally de-trousered. 


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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)
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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:14:45 PM   
hapistan


Posts: 83
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I should point out, faerytattoodgirl, that I live in the UK.  I only want to meet one Domme at a time.  I don't want instantly to be jumped by fifty of them and brutally de-trousered. 


god no, that would be truly truly awful

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:16:51 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hapistan

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I should point out, faerytattoodgirl, that I live in the UK.  I only want to meet one Domme at a time.  I don't want instantly to be jumped by fifty of them and brutally de-trousered. 


god no, that would be truly truly awful



Sounds like what I want to have happen to my boy, but only with men...what is the going rate for that?


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:17:56 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If you can guarantee Me front row seating, I'll chip in a buck or two.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:18:36 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Done... 

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:27:00 PM   
hapistan


Posts: 83
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

quote:

ORIGINAL: hapistan

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I should point out, faerytattoodgirl, that I live in the UK.  I only want to meet one Domme at a time.  I don't want instantly to be jumped by fifty of them and brutally de-trousered. 


god no, that would be truly truly awful



Sounds like what I want to have happen to my boy, but only with men...what is the going rate for that?



I'm not sure if this is true or not, but a friend who lived in paris used to work in a bar with a gay bloke, and when i was over there once i was having a drink with them and the gay guy (english but I've forgot his name) was telling me that the 'rectum' club in the film 'Irreversible' was a real place with a different name, but basically the same goings-on. If thats true then the going rate would surely be only a trip to paris?

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:31:21 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Oh, we live in NYC and he has this 'corn feed country boy thing', he is already gay bait...there are underground sex clubs like that in NYC (shocking, I know) but why make it so easy? 

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:52:30 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I know - fifty Dommes pouncing on you, whipping your clothes off and ravishing you brutally.  Perish the thought indeed.  You're talking my language there, hapistan.  BRB . . .

(in reply to hapistan)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 2:58:09 PM   
hapistan


Posts: 83
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

Oh, we live in NYC and he has this 'corn feed country boy thing', he is already gay bait...there are underground sex clubs like that in NYC (shocking, I know) but why make it so easy? 


ha yeah. theres a story about malcolm macdowell, before he filmed caligula was stressing about a scene where he had to rape a soldier and his wife on the eve of their wedding. but he didnt want to be seen as gay, so didnt want to do the bloke they went to a gay club and he saw fisting for the first time, and was somehow talked by tinto brass into fisting the poor soldier instead.
'cos thats so much less gay than sodomy....

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 3:03:33 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		LOL...I remember one night my parents had rented Caligula.  I must have been like [the age of a very famous movie in the 1980s involving candles…] or something and I walked in right about when that scene came on and watched the orgy scene etc.  When I finally got up and walked out of the room I was like, ‘this is boring…’.  Looking back, I wonder which is more curious: the fact that at that age I thought that or the fact that my parents didn’t bat an eye when I did…

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Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to hapistan)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 3:34:49 PM   
hapistan


Posts: 83
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

LOL...I remember one night my parents had rented Caligula.  I must have been like [the age of a very famous movie in the 1980s involving candles…] or something and I walked in right about when that scene came on and watched the orgy scene etc.  When I finally got up and walked out of the room I was like, ‘this is boring…’.  Looking back, I wonder which is more curious: the fact that at that age I thought that or the fact that my parents didn’t bat an eye when I did…


i had, and indeed do still have a thing for helen mirren so you know, it had a lot of interest for me.
but yeah its not a great film at all. its been edited, re-edited, disowned by the maker and so on an so on. oh and it was produced by the penthouse guy who randomly inserted porn into it after it had been finished...

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 3:40:20 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Droll indeed.  The hottest movie ever, IMHO, was the unrated 'The Lover'.  The book was amazing too.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to hapistan)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 3:41:55 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		[Yes!! I'm now officially "curious"!]

Well, I think I've got a rough idea of an answer to my own question.  Tell me if you think this is pure sap and cheese here.

Scenario:  I meet woman in standard UK pub, utterly vanilla setting.  We're getting on well and there's a definite spark.  Somehow or other, I use a line like "well, you're the woman and women are always the bosses to me"  (I know, it's making me cringe too - but you've got to imagine the context of a slightly drunk convo between two people who are already hitting it off at least a bit).  Then I just watch her reaction.  Anything of a direct and searching look at my face - well, maybe try another line later.  Of course if she says, " Do you mean that?" then I've hit jackpot and I just say in my sincerest tone "Oh yes".   Then her breathing will get quicker, her face will redden a bit and . . . 

Anyway, where was I?  So, the general tactic is half-said semi-jokes and watch for reactions

Yes, yes, I know I should get out more and do instead of just think - but a man's got to start somewhere.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 3:55:26 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I still think you are a) over thinking this and b) make much ado about her having to be herself focused on D/s/BDSM.  I have been in situations as you have mentioned, even told the person flat out that I was a Domme, and still left them alone because nothing is less appealing than a man who only thinks of one dimension of my personality as being worth his while.  This has happened actually a lot more then one would think both in bars and in chatting with people from ‘vanilla’ sites; nothing is less appealing that being seen as a pure sex object.  I know you might not THINK that is what you are doing, but it always seem to come across and precisely that.   

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 3:56:02 PM   
sweetbiba


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

edit:collar...with a custom leash attatched that says on the leash: sub available for mistress...yank for attention.
 
Er, I was thinking of vanilla settings in England, faerytoodgirl.  However, I'm not averse to a good yank now and then. 




going back towards the original question for a bit....i suppose it depends on how brave and "out-there" one is.. i have been known to go around in a black leather collar (the buckle hidden behind my hair) with a leash attached (the handle went into my back pocket).  Walking around some parts of London like that, was a sure fire way of finding people into the scene. i remember one lady came up to me, when i was sitting outside a pub this summer, and questioned me as to my  "accessories".. i was in 'nilla company so said "its a fashion statement", the look that passed thru her eyes was un-mistakeable, and i found myself volunteering to buy the next round of drinks..to better be able to follow her back inside the pub.

imho, signalling that one is sub is basically just a case of someone putting themselves out of their usual comfort zone, and having the self-confidence to be able to talk their way out of some 'nilla situations.  Most people who don't want to/ won't or can't understand what they are actually hearing and experiencing will ignore it.

anyways, hope no-one minds me adding my 2p's worth,
yours,

biba x

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 4:06:19 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		imho, signalling that one is sub is basically just a case of someone putting themselves out of their usual comfort zone, and having the self-confidence to be able to talk their way out of some 'nilla situations.  Most people who don't want to/ won't or can't understand what they are actually hearing and experiencing will ignore it.
 
Precisely, sweetbiba - that's my thinking too.



(in reply to sweetbiba)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 4:10:32 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		But as I said, all this is meant to happen in the context of our already having clicked.  That couldn't happen unless this hypothetical woman and I had already talked about any number of other things.  I'm focusing on this D/s aspect on this forum because this just seems the right place to do it . . .  To reiterate, I haven't had the problem before of overdoing the D/s aspect of meeting someone and having relationships, I've had the opposite - the problem of missing them when they were real possibilities.

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 4:17:32 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		 . . . .
But, hmm.  I shall ponder what you say.  It meshes with something else I've been thinking.  Thanks for the warning.

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/5/2008 4:51:33 PM   
hapistan


Posts: 83
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

I still think you are a) over thinking this and b) make much ado about her having to be herself focused on D/s/BDSM.  I have been in situations as you have mentioned, even told the person flat out that I was a Domme, and still left them alone because nothing is less appealing than a man who only thinks of one dimension of my personality as being worth his while.  This has happened actually a lot more then one would think both in bars and in chatting with people from ‘vanilla’ sites; nothing is less appealing that being seen as a pure sex object.  I know you might not THINK that is what you are doing, but it always seem to come across and precisely that.   


I think I've made that exact mistake in the not-too-distant past...
although in my defence our connection had been based entirely on sex at the time... but even as i type this I'm kicking myself.

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 40
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