RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/12/2008 8:28:06 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/13/2008 2:05:38 AM

corysub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

Why must all interactions be D/s...there are plenty of woman (myself included before I became more active in the actual ‘scene’) who are very dominant without knowing, being interested in, or caring. I have this image of s-type males tapping their shoes at bars a la certain closeted gay republicans. Be yourself, assuming that it is not some cow eyed ‘all woman ate princesses’ (few woman BDSM or vanilla find that appealing I find) and stop thinking to much and too hard about how to signal. Woman who are naturally dominant, I feel, will be far more drawn to the confident male who can also bow to her pleasures over someone who appear to be trying to put a leather corset on any woman he meets with the slightest air of dominance. you came up to me in a bar Also, FYI, if and called me ‘ma’am’ you would close the door with me, that is often associated with being ‘old’ to woman.

OMG! Do you think most Mistresses feel that way about the word Ma'am...I always use it as a way to show respect. Never thought about the age thing...

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/13/2008 2:14:00 AM

Ferns

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No, not all women feel that way...

I feel for submissive men... there are no rules and you can never get it 'right' because we are all individuals and want different things (just like every day vanilla women).

Personally, being called Ma'am so makes me take a second look at the man who says it. Today, sandwich shop, the man behind the counter handed me the sandwich with a 'There you go, Ma'am" (I swear his eyes were downcast, but I was so shocked I can't recall) and wow, hot!

I'm in Australia, no-one EVER uses the term Ma'am. And yes, I'm definitely going back there to get some more of that and eye him off in a suggestive way.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/13/2008 3:46:12 AM

PeonForHer

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Hah! Thank you Ferns. "Ma'am" is unusual here in the UK too. It's never used in a non-business setting.

No amount of CBT, lashing or electro-torture would make me take a job in a sandwiich shop, though.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/13/2008 4:16:57 AM

MsStarlett

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*giggle* Peon, if you were free and on this side 'of the pond' I would so enjoy grabbing Lady Constance and making a fun sandwich out of you.

Where is Connie these days, anyway? I need to have my boy call her boy and see what's up.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/13/2008 5:31:28 AM

solvr70

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

quote:

ORIGINAL: hapistan

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I should point out, faerytattoodgirl, that I live in the UK. I only want to meet one Domme at a time. I don't want instantly to be jumped by fifty of them and brutally de-trousered.

god no, that would be truly truly awful

Sounds like what I want to have happen to my boy, but only with men...what is the going rate for that?

mmmmmm....i do like the way Your mind works m'Lady

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/13/2008 6:37:39 AM

LadyLupineNYC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: corysub

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

Why must all interactions be D/s...there are plenty of woman (myself included before I became more active in the actual ‘scene’) who are very dominant without knowing, being interested in, or caring. I have this image of s-type males tapping their shoes at bars a la certain closeted gay republicans. Be yourself, assuming that it is not some cow eyed ‘all woman ate princesses’ (few woman BDSM or vanilla find that appealing I find) and stop thinking to much and too hard about how to signal. Woman who are naturally dominant, I feel, will be far more drawn to the confident male who can also bow to her pleasures over someone who appear to be trying to put a leather corset on any woman he meets with the slightest air of dominance. you came up to me in a bar Also, FYI, if and called me ‘ma’am’ you would close the door with me, that is often associated with being ‘old’ to woman.

OMG! Do you think most Mistresses feel that way about the word Ma'am...I always use it as a way to show respect. Never thought about the age thing...

It's just the sort of thing someone says to someone when handing cash back after a sale. If someone said it tome while in uniform (or I knew they were in the service), I would be more forgiving since I know its something they have been trained to say, same thing for southern boys but I have less sympathy from them. I personally prefer men who see and approach me as an equal so signs give to all any and all women of submissive nature tells me that they would submit to any and all women. Not appealing. But, as is mentioned many times before, this is all very individualized, I am just pointing out that it would be a failed gesture in approaching me personally.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/13/2008 6:40:17 AM

PeonForHer

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Now, being a sandwich is a whole different matter. I'd be glad for you and Connie to show me how :-)

But why ask me about Connie? I don't think I've made her acquaintance. Why do you think Connie lingers in my mind anyway?

(Puns take a lot of work sometimes. That last didn't quite get there, did it?)

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/14/2008 10:25:23 AM

Gladiator79

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Hi, i'm from a hick town in south central virginia, south boston to be exact. There is no bdsm community here, no possible way of knowing who is or isnt "into all that stuff". That said, yes, it is far more important to get to know someone in a friendly, or natural way first, and then check for the bdsm nature. But what happens when that person looks at you like a freak, and in less than a week the entire town knows youre a bit off by their standards. (note the reason behind the lack of locational secrecy, theres no point anymore). Back to the original question, say youre not in NYC, or even close to a large city where certain taboos are now commonplace. How would one go about signalling to the possible closet Dom/Domme that this person might just be a sub? i've been looking for the LTR all my life, i'm certain there are Domme's here, but They aint making Themselves known i assure you. Not all of us are blessed with the sizable bank accounts it requires to move from a hick town to a real city, then again, some of us (me i know), hate concrete, we're country folks, we dont do cities for anyone or anything, its like tossing a fish into motor oil and telling it to survive. Anyway, i'm starting to go off on a tangent, so, to the aforementioned question, is there a way to find someone who might be into bdsm, because for some of us, submission has nothing to do with sex, its a mind, body, soul, and most definitelly a heart thing.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/14/2008 11:52:47 AM

stella41b

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hapistan

it does, i was just being mean about them...
we dont have chavs here mind, we have something much worse called scallies, basically an uberchav with a slightly different uniform

Lord.. don't tell me you can still buy shell suits right? This brings back unpleasant memories from a few streets around Walton prison.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/14/2008 12:07:52 PM

Madame4a

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That works.. and I'd be damned impressed... however, I'd assume the guy was gay... unfortunately...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

One of my NY subbie type friends was just asking how to approach the lovely business type women in tight skirts and high heals who ride public transportation with him on the work day transits. He was saying that at least SOME of them HAVE to be Dommes. He just can't figure out which ones and didn't know a good opening line to try to start a conversation. I told him, if they are wearing those wonderful shoes, he should ask "Are those Christian Louboutins?" A fun follow up would be "I can't see the soles from this angle." If you're really feeling cheeky, ask "Mind if I check?"

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/14/2008 12:38:22 PM

PeonForHer

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That works.. and I'd be damned impressed... however, I'd assume the guy was gay... unfortunately...

Good point. On reflection I'd only try that one if I were wearing a Stetson and a lumberjack shirt.

. . . Er, no, that wouldn't help, would it?

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/14/2008 12:42:10 PM

PeonForHer

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I think you need the whole armoury of signs, badges, necklaces - and good lines - that have been suggested here - as well as more, Gladiator. The main thing is, I suppose, whatever you say, do or wear, you're always ready to pass it off as a joke if you get the wrong reaction. Of course, the other thing is just to be open about it to everyone. But I haven't got the nerve for that . . . yet, anyway.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/14/2008 2:35:45 PM

Gladiator79

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i didnt take the laugh it off approach. i got tired of pretending to suit mainstream nilla pricks, i admitted it openlly. It was an interesting experience here in this southern baptist bible belt town. Everyone avoids me, except the outcast crowd, which suits me just fine. Especially since that outcast crowd is oddly enough a much better group of friends. Time to go arrest another punk dealing drugs to kids, i love my job, see Y/yall later.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/14/2008 3:17:16 PM

PeonForHer

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Hell's bells.

. . .

With your guts, you're bound to get what you want eventually, Glad. And those who don't like who you are can rotate on it. I send the best of luck flying over the Pond to you.

peon

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 7:35:16 AM

solvr70

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

That works.. and I'd be damned impressed... however, I'd assume the guy was gay... unfortunately...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

One of my NY subbie type friends was just asking how to approach the lovely business type women in tight skirts and high heals who ride public transportation with him on the work day transits. He was saying that at least SOME of them HAVE to be Dommes. He just can't figure out which ones and didn't know a good opening line to try to start a conversation. I told him, if they are wearing those wonderful shoes, he should ask "Are those Christian Louboutins?" A fun follow up would be "I can't see the soles from this angle." If you're really feeling cheeky, ask "Mind if I check?"

i'm confused a bit on why You would assume the guy would be gay m'Lady. would it be just because that particular example showed him knowing the make of the shoes *knowing i would not know a make of a shoe or boot myself*

all this would be a great deal easier to tell if a Woman has Domme interests when there are boots involved, particularly thigh-high boots. i know, that might be a bit much to wear in public. But Women being more Domme is not more acceptible in society of late, and thigh-high boots being more stylish of late too.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 8:20:43 AM

thelovebitch

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well i dont entirely agree with all that. you cant be yourself if you are a sub and if you really are a genuine bitch. i mean if i like being a bitch of a lovely, mesmerising princess then how would you like to be yourself . obviously you would like to be a bitch . i mean all i think about is a lovely , friendly, sincere, friendly sexy and rich princess or mistress goes out of her villa and finds me in a bar and comes to me and just picks me up and says to me boldly and plainly that she wants me as her bitch and takes me to her villa in her car and keeps me there and use me there 24/7 as her livein, realtime bitch . wave a 20dollar bill and be yourself is all confusing. one has to be real if we really mean that one should be herself or himself and be what he or she is

< Message edited by thelovebitch -- 10/16/2008 8:22:05 AM >

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 8:31:09 AM

Madame4a

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Its a bad generalization and stereotype on my part.. but based on my experience... I don't know a lot of straight men who'd have a clue about CLaB shoes, or how to tell if they are... do you know why you have to look at the soles?

As to thigh high boots -- because I'm a boot whore, I have a pair -- but to be honest, they are so uncomfortable to wear, I rarely do...

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 9:10:26 AM

hardbodysub

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"Are those Christian Louboutins?"

I can't try that, because I don't even know how to pronounce it. Proof that I'm not gay, I guess.

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RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 9:53:30 AM

PeonForHer

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There's a shop down the road from me that sells ex-German paratroopers' boots, Madame4a. Extremely comfortable and so well armoured your feet wouldn't suffer even if a tank ran over them. Unfortunately, they may not match with your gauntlets, though. However, I can wing you a brochure if you like . . . .

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