RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme

Page: << < prev 4 5 6 [7] 8 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 1:25:39 PM

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I appreciate that.. I probably have a pair of them... I have so many boots... and I don't even count the four pairs I have that I wear on a daily basis in the winter... I'm packing for an event.. wearing one pair on the plane and packing two for the weekend... its a bit excessive.. but I do adore my boots..

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

There's a shop down the road from me that sells ex-German paratroopers' boots, Madame4a. Extremely comfortable and so well armoured your feet wouldn't suffer even if a tank ran over them. Unfortunately, they may not match with your gauntlets, though. However, I can wing you a brochure if you like . . . .

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 1:40:16 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I've just noticed how many hits this thread's had. I've a growing feeling that there are an awful lot of closet Dommes and subs out there . . .

I've found a bracelet in a market that has SLAVE embossed on it. Too big and too loud for me, but might suit some.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to Madame4a)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 2:17:33 PM

Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

Its a bad generalization and stereotype on my part.. but based on my experience... I don't know a lot of straight men who'd have a clue about CLaB shoes, or how to tell if they are... do you know why you have to look at the soles?

As to thigh high boots -- because I'm a boot whore, I have a pair -- but to be honest, they are so uncomfortable to wear, I rarely do...

that is unfortunate to hear m'Lady with there being sooo many different kinds, styles and types of boots out there. something in soft leather (not the shiny patent leather) that lace up (for the REALLY sexy and gives away You are a Domme look) or just slip on i would hope would not be that difficult to find.

_____________________________

My eyes have been opened....there is nothing on this earth as sexy as a Woman wearing a strapon cock and smile as She looks at me

(in reply to Madame4a)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 2:23:07 PM

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

mine are.. patent leather, lace up the side (I put red in the laces, thank you) and zip up the inside...

I'd be happy to wear them for a limited time at home.. but not out, at this point...

Christian Louboutins have red soles... FYI

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to solvr70)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 2:38:37 PM

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I understand that in the gay scene there are - or were - all sorts of accepted signals one can give that will indicate to a potential partner that you yourself are gay. (In fact, I'm told that the time when such signals were needed has quite possible passed - that scene being so much more open now.) Are there similar, accepted "codes" in the Ds scene?

Well, there are the colored hanky codes, but I don't think that's what you mean, nor are they widely used in the more hetero scene.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
If there aren't any such widely recognised codes (as I suspect), what discreet signal could a sub give to a possible Domme? I've tried little things before - like very quietly, so that only she can hear, addressing her as "Ma'am" just once - or even giving her a quick, slight bow. Each time I've carried on as normal thereafter and the signal's not been noticed for what it is (or so I've assumed).
What would convey it for a Domme in a vanilla setting? What would make her instantly think to herself, "Ah - I think that man's a sub!"

I agree with Akasha--light, casual comments that can easily be taken as jokes might spark someone in the know to wonder about you.
While I hate being addressed as "ma'am," your mention of that strategy reminded me of a couple of boys I met in vanilla social settings who took to calling me "Ms. [my last name]" rather than by my first name. I was amused by it, and in both cases I eventually ended up playing with the boy. Of course, that has more to do with how well we clicked in various other ways than that specific signal. And, of course, some dommes might hate being addressed that way.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 2:51:30 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Thanks for that advice, TwoNYCD. Yes, I'll try that one two - it'll be entirely ignored by those who aren't Dommes. But, I'm gathering courage a little now. I've been inspired by our friend earlier from the "hick town in the Bible belt". After all, why should I care what vanillas think? Yet, also, I don't want to over-focus on that specific area of a woman's character. That would just lack style, apart from anything else.

I must admit, I do wonder about Dommes "signalling" to me. I may have missed quite a few, thinking about instances now and then when women have said "odd" things to me. But maybe that's a subject for another thread . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 9:07:45 PM

Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Or a small badge on their lapels showing a silhouette of a man kneeling, or something?

I actually have a pin that I got in San Francisco. It says: "I like girls" and then in smaller letters "to whip me, bite me, screw me, rule me."
I think it might be for boys, since its blue, but I've adopted it, and I've worn it a couple times, usually on my backpack or purse strap. Its been fun, since there have been a few times women have picked up on it and asked. Heehee.

But in all honesty, your best bet is simply to get to know a woman. If she has a dominant-seeming personality, make sure you get to know her on a friendly level. Then, if it starts moving to where she is comfortable discussing sex with you (let her bring it up!!! Nothing worse than thinking you are cool with a guy and then he starts bringing up sex), you can casually mention you are interested in female supremacy, or what have you. See how she reacts. If favorable, maybe you have something. If not, you may still have a pretty friend.

< Message edited by FetishRose -- 10/16/2008 9:08:00 PM >

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/16/2008 10:43:40 PM

Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

mine are.. patent leather, lace up the side (I put red in the laces, thank you) and zip up the inside...

I'd be happy to wear them for a limited time at home.. but not out, at this point...

Christian Louboutins have red soles... FYI

oh, i have seen the stilletos with the red soles....does draw one's eyes to them....quite a bit.. Could be the patent leather that is rigid and making them uncomfortable. Just a quick search found a couple that do look quite sexy, Domme and comfortable if the right show size is ordered:
http://www.odgirl.com/item--4-Inch-Heel-Cow-Leather-Thigh-High-Boots--Blaze-ES.html
http://www.desire4mo.com/se4thhibo.html
Premium Spikes (spare no expense)
http://leathercatalog.net/images/b8890.jpg
http://leathercatalog.net/images/b8890x.jpg

_____________________________

My eyes have been opened....there is nothing on this earth as sexy as a Woman wearing a strapon cock and smile as She looks at me

(in reply to Madame4a)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 2:51:57 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

That pin sounds good - thanks for that, FR. Guess I'll have to do an internet search for the right item. I don't know about this "talking to women" stuff, though. I mean, having my back flayed into a nasty messy pulp is one thing, but being forced to conduct a civilised conversation with a woman - well, I have my limits.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to FetishRose)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 4:43:54 AM

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I mean, having my back flayed into a nasty messy pulp is one thing,

I really wish you would stop being such a tease!

*sigh*

(See - "All the good ones are taken")

*flustered*

Ok! Ahem!

------------

THANK YOU Solvr! What a wonderful boot site. I had not found that one. The first link went to a divine pair that is EVEN ON SALE! I do love a bargain. Great shoes/boots are a joy. A good SALE on shoes/boots is almost as orgasmic as ... well ... anything that Peon writes. *I'm digressing again.* Have I mentioned lately that my birthday is next month?

I would say that any woman wearing THOSE boots out in public would be signaling something. (But the chick in the last links needs to loose the jeans.)

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 4:47:42 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Awww Ms S, you're making my cheeks go all red. My face, too.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 5:02:23 AM

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I'd like to make your cheeks all red. I'll even slap your face for you. (I like that.)

Don't worry... The ones who are SO FAR away that it could never, ever happen are the ones that always make me weak in the knees.

--hmmmmm--- sorry

Actually, before I got distracted... I was going to mention this VERY hot Asian slave whose profile was on CM had this very large tattoo on his back. As he was very hot... I sent him a PM asking about the symbol. He answered "It says 'Slave'." Oh my. Now, that would be a great signal... if there were more people who could read Japanese in the USA.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 5:13:13 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I'd like to make your cheeks all red. I'll even slap your face for you. (I like that.)

Don't worry... The ones who are SO FAR away that it could never, ever happen are the ones that always make me weak in the knees.

--hmmmmm--- sorry

Do not ever apologise for saying things like that, Ms S. I'm a tough boy, I can handle it

(How big is the Atlantic, anyway .. . . hmmm . . . .)

That's the trouble with those oriental designs - they can look great, but they're useless if they don't convey the meaning. Maybe a tattoo on my back just saying "Flay Here"!

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 5:29:46 AM

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Peon, I don't think you were a member back when I was talking about the super Hotty at my gym. He had the most beautiful blue eyes... built like a brick outhouse... deep, dark tan... tattoos up both arms and across the lower back... *sigh* He brought in his Gravity Boots and did his exercises upside down a couple of times. *drool* He was just HANGING there... with all his clothes falling off him. And this big, heavy silver chain around his neck that looked JUST LIKE the choke chains I put on my boys in training! All I could think was "I have a flogger in my car!"

hmmmmmmm.... choke chains as a 'fashion accessory' might work. But then, some Dommes may consider that as a 'collar' and consider you to be 'taken'.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 5:37:19 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Oooh, no, I can't have myself looking as though I've been collared!

I think I'm going to buy that bracelet with "slave" embossed on it that I saw at the market yesterday. Maybe I can 'tone it down' a little so it's a bit more discreet. I'll scan the result and mail you the pic to see what you think.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 5:41:20 AM

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I always love piccies.

I even accept 'Rooster shots'... if they are from someone that I've been shamelessly flirting with on the boards.

(BTW - YES! I do feel much better these days. I was in a rather dreadful mood last week. Angry, worried, over stressed Dommes are not pleasant or suitable for polite company.)

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 6:34:15 AM

Posts: 23
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline

You seem to be honest in your approach to this. I understand your problem well, I am a domme, and have had my share of dating vanillas and getting horribly disapointed when there was no chance of a real thing happening.

I found this great ring on stockroom that says mistress, it is a normal silver ring and I usually turn it so the word doesn't show, but sometimes I turn it around in the right company, there is one with slave on it available as well. I live in a horribly small country but am lucky enough to be a type that is comfortable with expressing myself.

Things that have turned me on to a subbie, a guy wearing a leather cuff that had a lock on it amd the key in a necklace around his neck. A guy with handcuffs in his belt. A guy who had a clover clamp as a neclace. And then all those curteous young men who just offered a drink or their seat to me. I think your best approach is to when you meet soemone who turns you on mentaly and so on to show interest in her and then just be yourself. Let her lead the way, most dommes know a sub when they show themselves. She will test you or check on you and if you act your normal self it will give her the vibe of your submissiveness. Most dommes I know like to be the hunter, some shoot to kill, others like to be the irresistable bait. But wether she is a spider or tigress most of the fun is in the chase. An instant submission is never attractive to me at least, means you want to sub to anyone, while I as other women need to feel special. A simple "you decide", "as you wish" (lovely from the Princess Bride) or such with a direct honest but not confronting look into her eyes might show instantly if she reacts to being left in control. Make yourself vulnareble at a short point without becoming a doormaat.

The above might not work on every domme, but sure as hell would on me.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 7:10:48 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Thank you very much for that, DontU. That was a really considered reply and I appreciate it. A host of things for me to ponder upon there.

Only once has a woman started speaking to me and then, suddenly, asked "are you into being dominated" (or similar). She claimed that she'd never done that before, but "knew it was worth asking the instant she saw me". Well, I've no idea what it was about me that made her see that, so I wouldn't know how to 'put it on' anyway. I guess more courtesy than usual would be my instinctive inclination.

Yet, I don't expect most Dommes have a "radar for subs", just as I sure don't have an instinct for distinguishing a Domme from vanilla. I'm going to need some artificial help. All those talismans, items of jewellery, bits and pieces - they all sound good. I really like the sound of that ring, I must say . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to DontUDare)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 11:27:39 AM

Posts: 23
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline

Here are some ideas and that ring is on there too.

http://stockroom.com/Jewelry-C403.aspx

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme - 10/17/2008 12:04:47 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Takk, DontUDare. I'll take a look

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to DontUDare)

Page: << < prev 4 5 6 [7] 8 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Signalling you're a sub to a possible Domme

Page: << < prev 4 5 6 [7] 8 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.250