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RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 11:05:02 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Yeah - and shit happens. Stop beating yourself up about it. If he wants to punish you, he will - if that is the relationship you are in. You are second guessing far too much. Either you can deal with it or you cannot. It's not letting him down if you cannot. It's letting yourself down if you continue.

Decide what you want and then deal with it and move on to the next task.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 11:16:51 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Missoula, MT
Status: offline

short answer: Some of us just don't have that desire for sex. With anyone. And we can still have a whole lot of kinky fun without it.
I've found that one thing that helps with subs who feel the need for sex is fisting, I find that reasonably amusing, and it leaves most subs feeling sufficiently fucked that I don't get hassled about the lack of sex for quite a while afterwards.

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 12:56:05 PM

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

I feel like you should invite your master to read the thread. Then again, perhaps you did and this is why the disappointment and the hanging up the phone.

Maybe you have a miscommunication issue and really he didn't understand that it was affecting you that much and had to find out after you told the world?

Master was/is? very upset at me over my behavior on Friday, and writing a livejournal post that bitched about what a terrible day I had based on our arguments -- and there were things he didn't realize until reading them-- in a post that I read for others to read, not giving him a chance in our communication to work things out. He reminded me it's all a choice. A choice for me to be his fully or not-- but if I am his fully, that I have to respect him and his judgement more, and put up with things rather than want my way all the time. All my needs may not be met in this relationship, but it is certainly more than I ever did dream for and wouldn't give it up in the world.

(in reply to MtGames)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 1:38:00 PM

Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

How were you foolish and how was it right of Him to hang up the phone on You?
There are fucks then there are mind fucks and to me getting upset over your asking a question on a forum and hanging up on you is a mind fuck and not in a good way.
JMHO
And also if you say "i accept, and trust His decisions." then you do
I cannot say that as I have to be in each situation to know how I will react to them and if I will accept and trust, but then I don't have a Dom/me (as of yet) in my life that I live with or see at all so perhaps one day I will say such, I have in the past, but I have also come to view the "blanket of trust" as sometimes a way of giving over responsibility for ourselves then beating ourselves up when things do not go the way we wanted.
Communication, Communication, Communication are the key words for me and consensual ~ For safe is open to each person's interpretation of such as is sane but consensual has only one interpretation and if I consent to it, then I do without question, but then again, I might have to consent or not consent countless times in one night as issues come up.

Been there done that got the T-Shirt more times than I wish to remember.

_____________________________

Subductrssss

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 1:53:00 PM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hey there,
You know I had a Master for awhile who wouldn't fuck me. Used me in lots of ways and I adored him... but no fucking.

One day I told him, I gotta be fucked. I can't live my life without that. And he wouldn't share me... so... I left. I adored him.... But although at that moment it wasn't an issue for me, I knew that in 6 months, a year, some point down the road I would be tempted to stray cause it is something that is important to me.... so...we ended. With great sadness, but it was the reality.

You gotta do what works for you... and make sure you let him know....

I too adopted the thing Steel wrote... *from Cali I believe*

slave needs
Master needs
Master wants
slave wants.

Makes sense to me..

good luck,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Subductrssss)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 2:08:55 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Oh the drama! I don't see how this has gone on for a year without sex, honestly. You're acting so confused now, didn't this come up before you latched onto the dude? "Will there be sex involved?" No one here can answer why he won't bang ya, he keeps saying he just doesn't need it so listen to that and live with the fact you may never have sex again. Or find a man willing to fullfill your desire to be filled.

Him getting mad because you looked for advice? Pfft, we don't know who you are nor who he is so it's not like it's hurting him that you were confused. Oh well, not much else to say.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 3:32:42 PM

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Joined: 9/1/2008
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Think of all the contraceptives you don't need! There's always an up side!

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 3:44:57 PM

beautyImurDaddy

Posts: 58
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

Have you considered or spoken to him about the possibility of a medical condition or side effects from medication possibly being at the core of the issue?

(in reply to tweedydaddy)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 4:18:45 PM

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I doubt its something that is wrong with you, I would bet its something that is wrong with him and he just doesn't want to talk about it. Could he be suffering from ED? I know that is one thing many men find very hard to talk about, especially to a female they are involved with. Either case state your needs, if he isn't meeting them and won't then its time to reevaluate this relationship, it maybe time to move on.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 4:35:10 PM

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Dunno maybe find anohter guy who will use you the way you need to be used. You really can't expect us to get inside his head do you???

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 4:39:17 PM

Daes

Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline

Subductrssss: After reading this thread carefully, I can see why he hung up on her, or at least understand it some- mainly because I could see my Sir hanging up on me if I had done something similar where instead of communicating with him directly, I had gone to others and trust in their advice as to how to approach a problem with Him. Or maybe not. At the very least, I can understand his disappointment.

That is not to say I would have accepted his answer however, but thats just Me. I dont think I could be completely happy in a relationship without sex, but I also would have argued my point much better if it was something I really needed to have.

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to Lashra)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 4:39:59 PM

Monkeyontuesday

Posts: 357
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline

Along with ED, perhaps he has some kind of communicable disease he has neglected to let you in on, which is why he hasn't admitted sleeping with you or any other ladies.

_____________________________

Make no little plans. There is no magic in them to stir men's blood.

(in reply to SailingBum)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 4:48:44 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes

Subductrssss: After reading this thread carefully, I can see why he hung up on her, or at least understand it some- mainly because I could see my Sir hanging up on me if I had done something similar where instead of communicating with him directly, I had gone to others and trust in their advice as to how to approach a problem with Him. Or maybe not. At the very least, I can understand his disappointment.
*snip*

Maybe, but I also see that act as someone who is not comfortable enough with the criticism to take it as was, a cry for help. The last thing recommended with someone expressing emotional need is to punish that need. All he had to say was ‘I am very disappointed; I will contact you in/by XXX to discuss punishment’. That would be using his big boy words and not his little boy actions.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to Daes)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 5:30:17 PM

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandnotused

Yet, in all of this time, He has never fucked my cunt or ass, with His cock.- why?

I'm curious. Do you give him oral sex?

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 5:45:21 PM

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Hell if we are speculating as to the "why" my guess is he gay.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to marieToo)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 6:58:20 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes
I had done something similar where instead of communicating with him directly

She did talk to him before posting this. She just didn't like his answer I guess.

(in reply to Daes)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 7:02:33 PM

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes

Subductrssss: After reading this thread carefully, I can see why he hung up on her, or at least understand it some...

i'm gonna scream bullshit on this - if he's claiming to be adult enough to be a "Master" and have a "slave," he damn well better be adult enough to not hang up the phone on said slave - no matter how pissed off he was. That, plain and simple, is immature.
Can i see him being disappointed that she didn't express her concern to him? Absolutely. A better way to handle it would have been to tell her he's disappointed - so disappointed, in fact, that he must let her go and he'll call her back by such and such a date after he's had time to process it to discuss it with her. If i had a "Master" that hung up on me - that would more likely than not be the end of the relationship as i don't want to deal with someone that immature.
Of course, this is all just my 2 cents.

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to Daes)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 7:05:12 PM

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Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

Okay direct and to the point:
A. Are you ever going to fuck me? If he says no and you can live with that, don't worry be happy, if you can't live with that and he will not change, move on down the line.

B. Anyone who hangs up on me in a phone call is going to have a downright panic attack ridden pissed off female on their hands. COMMUNICATION, never enough and never to be used as punishment as in lack of.

C. If you have talked with him before and gotten the answers why do you need more answers?

D. If you have talked with him before and have not gotten the answers, the answers were answered

Someone once told me "Never settle for less than you want and deserve" taking that advice finally and passing it around.

_____________________________

Subductrssss

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 7:40:50 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Did he bother to tell you ahead of time that there would be no sex between you? If he had then would you have gotten into this relationship?

He lied by omission. It is him who is at fault for not having been honest with you from the beginning.

Ask him how he would deal with suddenly discovering that you had omitted telling him something of enormous importance, would he keep seeing you, what kind of punishment would he inflict? Then tell him since he's the liar, he needs to take the punishment.

We discussed sex beforehand. If you did and he deliberately lied to you about this, then how can you trust him? If you didn't, then shame on both of you for not discussing an issue of such importance.

You haven't been foolish for asking help, he's turning it around so you don't call him on his lies.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 8:37:38 PM

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daes

Subductrssss: After reading this thread carefully, I can see why he hung up on her, or at least understand it some...

i'm gonna scream bullshit on this - if he's claiming to be adult enough to be a "Master" and have a "slave," he damn well better be adult enough to not hang up the phone on said slave - no matter how pissed off he was. That, plain and simple, is immature.

To tell you the truth i figured the OP was BS. It jsut does not add up.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

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