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RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/6/2008 9:47:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
Could he be suffering from ED?

Or childhood sexual abuse he never dealt with. Or a venereal disease, as another poster said -- but it sounds more like a physical or psychological block if he's not boning anybody. Or... he just doesn't like penetrative sex. But if there's a capital-R reason, it's going to take a trained professional to deal with the problem.

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(in reply to Lashra)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 8:35:48 AM

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If you accepted and trusted his decisions, you wouldn't be here asking why. You say it bothers you in the first letter, but then back off when people start giving you advice. People are sexual creatures. If a man tells me he doesn't need sex, it would make me wonder one, what is wrong with him? Does his equipment not work? or two, where else is he getting it. If you are not getting your needs met, and that includes sexual needs, then you need to think if this relationship is for you.

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 9:27:56 AM

Daes

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From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
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quote:

ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty
i'm gonna scream bullshit on this - if he's claiming to be adult enough to be a "Master" and have a "slave," he damn well better be adult enough to not hang up the phone on said slave - no matter how pissed off he was. That, plain and simple, is immature.
Can i see him being disappointed that she didn't express her concern to him? Absolutely. A better way to handle it would have been to tell her he's disappointed - so disappointed, in fact, that he must let her go and he'll call her back by such and such a date after he's had time to process it to discuss it with her. If i had a "Master" that hung up on me - that would more likely than not be the end of the relationship as i don't want to deal with someone that immature.
Of course, this is all just my 2 cents.

I know, I'm just playing devil's advocate here. I'm pointing out that the communication is goes both ways, if she was feeling That strongly about it, she probably could have communicated that better so he could completely understand the problem, and in that sense I can see why he did what he did, not that I completely agree with it.

And it could also be possible that hanging up on someone is one's way of taking a step back and breathing so they can have a moment to think and go over the situation so he can think it through then reapproach the problem.. He probably could have done this better - but just a thought.

< Message edited by Daes -- 10/7/2008 9:31:47 AM >

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I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

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RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 11:37:39 AM

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He's not fucking you you because he does not want to. The why is irrelevant.

Although it is common for femdoms not to have sex with their subs, this is agreed to up front. I prefer the power/control aspects, and it appears your master does too. For my own self, I could care less who a sub has sex with, b/c he won't be having sex with me.

Your situation does not appear to be consensual, in that you were not aware of this up front. I also have an idea he would not approve of you having sex with another.

Although denial is a common bdsm theme, withholding sex for a year while making someone beg for it is extreme mental and physical torture, IMO. It's normal and nature to want to have sex with someone you are in love with, and normal and natural to feel like shit if they don't want to have sex with you.

This man is torturing you, but not in a good way. Get out.

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(in reply to Daes)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 12:49:01 PM

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Why don't you ask your master this one simple question "Master, respectfully why don't you fuck me, Sir?"

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 1:11:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSexyVixen

Although denial is a common bdsm theme, withholding sex for a year while making someone beg for it is extreme mental and physical torture,

This is the part that jumped out at me as well. I can understand not having sex if he has some issue like ED or whathaveyou, then ok, maybe he just can't help it. But to make her beg continuously for something she is never going to get seems over the line to me, especially because she wants it so badly.

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I give good agita.

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RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 1:26:56 PM

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Greetings ownedandnotused...

I can't offer advice, but only words of experience....I, too, was once in a similar long term relationship such as yours.. and it "bumfuzzled" me as to why it was so intense, without sealing the deal so to speak...and trust me, I am a woman that craves this kind of intimacy.

I never fully understood either...but it was the most addicting relationship I ever experienced, even if it was not "a-dick-ting".

I came away with so many wonderful life lessons that made me a better person, woman and slave today.

I wish you well on your journey,
~donna~

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 1:46:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
I too adopted the thing Steel wrote... *from Cali I believe*

slave needs
Master needs
Master wants
slave wants.

I posted it, but I cannot take credit for it. It was taught to me in a class I took through BDSM Mentors, from ColinSir's lady, the delightful slavearanea.

Cali

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(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 1:46:46 PM

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From: Missoula Montana
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Can't answer for your Master, but here are some reasons I can think of that I or some other Dominant might not want to fuck a particular submissive.

Maybe you are just not his type. News flash - Not every male feels the need to fuck every female who is willing to spread her legs, any more than he would feel the need to drive every car on the road. And who is to say what his type is? Something about you might be too big or too small, too wide or too thin, the wrong color, or you might have the wrong tone of voice or not have just the right smell. Speaking personally here without going into detail, some women are sexually attractive to me and some are not. Female subs or slaves who are not my type for whatever reason aren't likely to get fucked by me. Doesn't mean I can't find other uses for them. Doesn't mean they don't have other qualities that I value.

He might be avoiding sex with you because he feels it would interfere with the D/s dynamic. He might feel that it would add unnecessary drama, or that it would cloud his judgement concerning you. He might feel that he has more control by denying you sex. Getting you to beg for it tends to point in that direction. Or, he might be one of the few males who has no desire for sex at all. Yes they exist.

Bottom line - if sex from your Dominant is something you need to be happy, and he can't or won't give it to you, you need to ask for release and move on. You should havce no trouble finding a Dominant who will fuck you. There are plenty of them who fit that male stereotype and are randy as goats.

Otherwise, be grateful for what he does do for you, accept it and shut up.

_____________________________

GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/7/2008 1:54:10 PM

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I love Frenchy so much, and he has chosen to be sexually exclusive with me. If for no other reason, I feel it's only kind to help fulfill his sexual needs. I know its not domly of me to say that, but there just seems something distinctly shitty about doms who lock subs into these long-term situations where they cannot seek outside fulfillment, and deny them something they have expressed as a clear need. Then this dom in question gets all bent and hangs up on thie girl? I have no doubt that there is way more to this than he is letting on, and his sub is right not to buy his flimsy explanation.

(in reply to GrizzlyBear)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/9/2008 5:00:26 AM

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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It is always a distinct possibility thet your Master suffers either from psychological issues which he chooses not to discuss but whicjh are enough to stop him from reqsponding to sexual stimuli; or he may another sufferer of Erectyle Dysfunction (aka Floopy Dick Syndrome) which may have its roots in a medical problem such as circulatory issues, again for one reason or another he chooses not to discuss it with you. You should also understand that such issues are very personal and can make a man seem much less of a man especially when it is discussed. That you spend so little time together in a year could be the reason why he hasn't discussed things with you if these aee the issues. On a personal basis, were I in his possition (bloody hell I am! Just not with the none live in females though as mine lives with us 24/7), I would look at adding a male sub/save part of whose job description is that he should fuck you as required and fuck you long and hard. I find non live in male subs are good for this but they keep a condom or three well covering their tallywacker during intercourse. Alsthough I may sound light hearted and very tongue in cheek here I do offer my views in all sincerity as I Too have ED and do understand the physiological, psychological issues as well as the emotional ones stemming from bith sexual frustration of not holding a hard onn long enough and male pride.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/9/2008 5:01:00 AM >

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/9/2008 1:35:55 PM

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are you sure that you are his only sub/partner?. i understand that some Doms have more than sub/slave but are often sexually monogomous to just one, be it... his first girl, main sub or even a vanilla partner or wife... any others are just for play. it may not be this this but you need to be sure, i think you should be entitled to know where you stand in his life. Hope all works out ok

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/9/2008 1:49:54 PM

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he comes 300 miles to see You?... have you EVER been to his house?. How do You know if he has someone else or not?. dont think that he wouldnt bother coming 300 miles to see you if he had someone else... the someone else might be a vanilla someone else whom he does have sex with. How do you knoiw this isnt the case?

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/9/2008 6:15:49 PM

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ok brain check...How any Masters/Doms' or dommie's have never fucked their slaves not even once..anyone??????Anyone at all????Rr if you have a medical problemand cann't do the deed, havn't wanted to fuck them?????Anyone at all???I know this is a littel raw..but Anyone at all????

(in reply to ownedandnotused)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/9/2008 6:44:13 PM

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More importantly why didn't he disclose this upfront so she could decide to accept it or not? Why make her beg for something he will never give?

In essence, why lie to her and why set her up to fail?

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(in reply to Huntertn)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/9/2008 6:57:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

ok brain check...How any Masters/Doms' or dommie's have never fucked their slaves not even once..anyone??????Anyone at all????Rr if you have a medical problemand cann't do the deed, havn't wanted to fuck them?????Anyone at all???I know this is a littel raw..but Anyone at all????

Mine has not.......Does that make us any less real?We have been together for over a year. We live together as well..... He is not cheating on me as we know each other's where abouts 24/7.. Oh damn!! Except that i do sleep at night, i suppose it's possible He could be sneaking out in the middle of the night to fuck all these other women.
*shrug*

Kali

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 10/9/2008 7:00:45 PM >

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RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/10/2008 7:21:59 PM

Durus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bound4more

A duck is a duck no matter what angle we look at it from. Any desire on your part for your Master to be other than exactly who he is, or to act exactly as he does, can only result in your unhappiness and frustration. You want a Master who uses you sexually? Sounds like the one you're with ain't the one for you, no matter how much you love him.

Ouch...but hell ya.

(in reply to bound4more)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/10/2008 8:42:20 PM

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ok thats two that we know of..anymore? Hmm... Does it make it any less real? No! But your both happy,right!..well..she really really doesn't sound that happy! Does that make it any less real for her? Again No! But isn't happiness and fullfillment a part of her life too? Because sure as hell she really doesn't seem to be happy about it.What I mean is Sure Doms want what they want...and subs love to give it to us..whatever it is...from sex to a good home life...but it sounds like on this one thing its not even a one way street, much less a two way? Know what I mean..Sex isn't what makes a realationship..but its a large part of Any healthy relationship for most Humans I know of[and I'm not saying she or your not human either,lol!]

(in reply to Durus)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/11/2008 6:01:53 AM

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Actually Hunterin, I beg to fiffer here in regard to your comment thatsex is a large part of human relationships. Certainly in both the USA and England sex appears to be formost on peoples' minds yet in other countries as in Europe and in other cultures, sex is at a different level and just as important. However, I know a good many couples where sex happens infrequently with neither partner cheating. It just has a lower priority than work and other activities but when it does happen I'd wager that it far more intense and way more valued and enjoyed at a deeper level then just orgasmic release. I guess they dont't think of it as sex though but "Making Love". It appears to me that so many here see sex as the male penetrating the female with his oft average sized tallywacker or even an undersized one. I know from many surveys in the USA, UK and Australia that many if not most women prefer a normal size to the oft boasted but rarely found oversized penis. Some even are more than happy with an unsersized one too. How it is used realy is the key and also when it is used (Preferably after enjoyable periods of forplay). Many women I have talked to as part of my counselling of couples where the male suffers ED, have stated that the cunning use of both tongue and fingers satisifies them completely and one lass who is a friend, also volunteered that her greatest joy is laying with her husband's limp dick in her mouth teasing it with her tongue till he orgasms.. Thus I do question the apparent necesity to fuck everything in site when seduction brings infinately more joy. My own wife would support me on this point and love what I have to offer but does enjoy the occassional hard rogering when I organize it..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/11/2008 6:03:12 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Huntertn)

RE: my Master doesn't fuck me. - 10/11/2008 6:22:07 AM

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quote:

Good morning,
i have decided to create this screenname, for the purpose of coming on here, and asking for help or advice.
i am an owned submissive, who has been owned for over one year. My Master and i have a great relationship, and it is my hope that we will continue to do so, and that i will remain His, for a long time to come.- Yet, in all of this time, He has never fucked my cunt or ass, with His cock.- why?

We live apart, yet spend an average of a weekend a month together. He is present in my everyday life: i don't eat without His permission, i don't pee without His permission, i don't consume alcoholic beverages, nor have any sweets without His permission, among other things that i may not do without His permission. He has guided me into finding the Peace that there is in being accepting of my nature, and in serving a Man who will use me, without hesitation....as His property, footstool,table, whore, slut, bitch...drinking His pee. He uses me, abuses me, humiliates me and leaves me on my knees begging for more everytime...and i love it.
As time has gone by, i have found that i am dependent on Him, for many things, particularly my own mental wellbeing....i'm not saying that i'm mentally not balanced without Him :) ... i'm saying that i am mentally at peace, when i know that He is pleased. However...for a long time now...i have felt not worthy of Him, not doing enough, not good enough...because it is the only reason that i can think of, for Him to not be fucking me.

He is handsome, single, young, intelligent...and says that He simply doesn't have the need to fuck. He is physically healthy....
He is also poly- which i'm absolutely fine with. In our time together, He had a short term relationship with another girl, but no others since then. He has told me that He also did not fuck her...and when i asked if He would fuck His next girl...He said that He wasn't sure. i'm not certain how to take that....

As i write this...i feel disoriented and am not sure that my words are making much sense.i'm not a beauty queen, but i'm an average looking girl, height /weight proportional, who takes care of my appearance...i have found myself hating my own body..trying to change little things that maybe He doesn't like...i feel that this is affecting my self worth...and i have never had low self esteem...nor high either...but i have always valued myself for who i am.

i love my Master. Not just because He is my Master...but because He is a great Man. There is no worse feeling than to know that my cunt and ass are not worthy of being used by Him.

i'm not looking for a solution- i am looking to understand and accept. Any insight, thoughts, advice...will be read carefully and thought of.
Thank You so much for Your time.

Maybe you said it and I missed it but,
Did you know going into the relationship? If you did, suck it up.
If you didn't know, shame on you for not finding out and suck it up.
If he lied to you, leave, you can't trust him.

In all honesty your entire post sounds more like a huge self advertisement.

(in reply to IronBear)

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